"Seriously brain, what the hell?" A Thread For Weird Dreams and Nightmares

it was Avengers, and oh no, thanos is coming! some dude thinks that if he gives thanos one of the stones for free, then thanos will spare the human race, but obviously that's not the case you thanos is just closer to doing his thing now.

also hillary clinton is here. in my house, actually. she knows about thanos, but also she's crazy. the only way for her to beat thanos, she says, is to become thanos and then go back in time and be thanos there too. basically she was thanos all along it turns out. also for some reason she needs to take over my body in order to be thanos. (that's why he's so big and purple, because he has the mass of two humans, clinton and me.)

i immediately start running out of the basement and into the garage and out of the house, but oh no! she can run really fast as well, and also, she has string powers! she catches me and puts me in string, which begins to sink into my skin, and she holds on to the string so i can't get away. i know that if i am completely covered by the string (which looks like a spiderwebby black net, or perhaps a bunch of cracks in my skin), i will be assimilated completely.

but then something distracts her and she lets go of the string and i use jump powers to jump 10 feet high and 20 feet away. she shoots more string but she misses, and she goes into a car with her henchmen and starts chasing me in the car

directly in front of us is a road, then a line of houses, then some woods, then another line of houses, then another road which turns around and connects to the current road

map (vertical lines are also roads)

Code:

########### more woods
========+== road
H H H H | H houses
########| # woods
H H H H | H houses
==me====+== road
#H | H# | H my neighborhood
#H h H# | H lowercase h is my house
####### | H

(this isn't actually quite what my neighborhood looks like, but it's what it was like in the dream)

i do a really big jump, as if i'm going to jump all the way over the houses and into the woods or maybe even to the other road. the bit of string that she held on to sails behind me as i soar through the air. they are stuck in their car, so they have no choice but to drive around to the other side to get me when i land. but surprise! i land in the close side of the woods, and immediately run back the the road i jumped from and start running the opposite direction from the intersection (<- that way on the map)

and then i wake up

its a world where it's real life but magic is real...

there' a blue path appeared out of nowhere going through the countryside... the blue path is like, a regular dirt or stone path thats about 1-3 meters wide, varying as it goes. but it has a slight blue glow and it has a thick golden glowing cable running down each side of it. if you walk along it you will be put under a spell that will force you to continue walking down this path... you have very limited control of your movements so you can like, stop and turn around, but you can maybe stop for a second before it gets too hard to resist and you must move forward again. it is best to just walk forward and try to grab food as you pass by, like berries and stuff...

so you're walking for several days, exhausted, barely eating, through a variety of climates until you reach a cave where the path ends. here you and a handful of others who have walked the path are...

you now can move free of the path, but you must align yourself with others... as in, you must stand forming a proper triangle, or a square, pentagon etc, depending on how many people are in your group...

for example, you can sit around a circular table with five others, and you are each equidistant apart. but you gotta do something else so you get up (the ppl at the table shift seats to make pentagon). a nearby triangle group helpfully forms a square with you before you get too uncomfortable. and the four of you can move around, stand further apart, as long as you stay as a square.

also, weird mutations are happening... someone is turning into a pyrokinetic powers person... another has metal skin now.

and me, I am like sorta become a ghost. I'm invisible now and partially intangible. my feet are still solid, but the further up my body you get, the less influence over the world that body part has. cannot speak... barely move pencil, but at least I can't fall thru floor. also turns out as consequence of this power I can walk up walls and with practice, could walk on ceiling too.

so can this group of ppl, each with unique abilities, solve the puzzles and escape this cave, despite being forced to stand in polygon shapes? find out in, this dream I didn't get to finish >:(

TimuToday at 12:34 AM

hi hi

last night i had a dream where i was a schoolteacher for like, 6-8 year olds or something

i was chaperoning a soccer game at a local park.

the little kids team was winning by a large margin against the rude teen team, despite how the rude teen team was scoring a goal every five seconds by kicking the ball as hard as they could into the face of this poor little five year old kid who was standing inside the goal (scoring a point in the process), it bounce off kids face, repeat,

it was brutal, but it was also a dream so, the kid was fine i guess. the kid was almost costing Little Kids their huge lead because he was distracted by some girl he had a crush on in the bleachers, but Little Kids still won. everyone else went home, but i decided to let my class of little kids stay in the park a little longer-

but then we got ensnared by vines or something!!!! and we were trapped sitting on these benches in the woods for like, two weeks. we could still move our hands so we were able to grab like, berries and stuff i guess to survive

then, this police officer, Officer A, drove by and then said WHOA these people are trapped in the woods, officer B and C, come and help!!!

officer C said "i will free them with this dynamite!!!" and threw like a little tnt grenade at us and i picked it up and threw it away

officer A: "What are you doing!!!! you'll kill us all with those explosives!!!"

C: "well I'm not going down there, it's too dangerous! " *throws another grenade *

(i throw that one out of harms way too) officer A: "stop!!!!!! Officer D and E and F!!! come take care of these bad officers!"

officers D, E and F, all burst out of little holes in the ground, where they had apparently been hiding in since long before that soccer game

D and E shot B and C in the head

and officer A said, "officer F, you are ALSO not loyal enough!" (despite having been in a hole this whole time) and shot officer F in the head also

then officer A, D and E came and released me and the little kids from the vines and said "You must get onto this truck!!! and bring 5 crushed cardboard boxes with you!!! or ELSE!" (it was clear at this point that these were not really police officers, but kidnappers)

we all had to gather some of the crushed cardboard boxes on the forest floor and get into the back of this truck

one kid was running behind trying to catch up, because they were slow, but i am an adult and i hoisted them up to safety onto the back of the truck, and then i subtly tore my own cardboard boxes up so the kid could have enough cardboard

so they took us to this recylcing plant to recycle the cardboard, and while they were distracted, i used my magic to defeat kidnappers A, D and E, saving everyone

dream part 2:

fast forward three years: i'm a famous archwizard, rich, also a medical doctor. i have an office connected to my penthouse. my office hours are, like, never, because i'm a celebrity who is rich and reclusive. the only person who ever sees me is my personal assistant, who i have because i'm rich. she's a secret stardew valley character that you only ever see if you become a doctor in that game, hence why no one but me has seen her. basically everyone else that i used to know personally, has left my life because i don't talk to anyone anymore.

in other words, i was playing stardew valley, became a doctor and accidentally went afk for three years while everyone's friendship values gradually dropped to zero

i'm in my enormous bathtub, and i'm like, wheeweee, fighting those kidnappers is exhausting, even though that was three years ago, from my point of view it basically just happened so i'm tired and i'm gonna take a nice relazing bath

this bathtub has like, four faucets overlaid and nested on each other and there's like, boxes of free candy on the wall and it's nice and takes forever to fill up and while i'm waiting and trying to figure out how to maximize the rate of water filling, some commoner is peeping on my through my fancy window that doesn't actually hide anything

the commoner says "you are that famous person who is a powerful rich witchdoctor, which is a witch who is also a doctor. not like a voodoo doctor. you can do magic and have a lot of money and influence is basically what i'm getting at. my daughter is an illegal immigrant can you help me with this"

and i'm like yo no problem i am very good at magic and i snap my fingers et voila, in my hands is the Visa and drivers license and all the other documents that you need. i made them with my magic. also these are legit. like you can't just make some papers, you also gotta put it into the governments computer systems so i did that too.

i like fill my pockets with skittles and stuff from the free candy and also i am wearing clothes now, and i go with the family to the government customs border place and the guy, we'll call him Agent A, he says, "well, everything looks legit. because it is. but the problem is. i know you did this with magic... because all these files were here five minutes ago!!! and also you're a famous magic user. so. it's kind of obvious that this stuff is not Truly Legit....................... but i'll let it slide. because i'm nice!!!!! hey now that you're approved for american, let's go to this room over here"

they let the legal immigrants go about their lives but they take me to this big white room with an altar there and there are two other agents Agent B and Agent C there, and Agent A says

SURPRISE!!! we are real government agents... we are CULTISTS, and we are part of the same cult as Officer A, B, C, D, E, and F, that tried to kidnap you three years ago!!!!! you killed our leader officer A, (and also those other officers died too) so now, I, Agent A, and the new leader and i'm gonna fight you for revenge!!!!

and i say, well, i can do magic!!!!! and Agent A says, I can also do magic!!!!!!!

Agent B and C are like "so can we!"!!! and i fight them all in a magic duel. B and C are defeated easily because i'm really good at magic!!! but agent A is harder to fight, so it's like a final boss fight and it's difficult but eventually i win because i use magic to turn myself into a Spring (like a metal coil) while he was transformed into String (like some cable for choking and tying)

and the string gets tangled in the spring, and so that's how i defeated agent A, and so i defeated the cult of cardboard recycling kidnappers!!!! the end!!!

i was going skydiving and then Rayquaza ATE MY PARACHUTE

and when i landed unharmed, i discovered that Treant Protector is goldilocks and raided my pantry. No more cereal. I'm hungry :(

i had a dream where there were lots and lots of birds making lots and lots of pretty noises.

and then i woke up and my window was open and my dream had been true!

I had a dream where Aftik me was brutally murdering human me. metaphor perhaps?

My parents organized for me to meet a professor/zoo director for employment opportunities/networking, and I was pissed about them doing that without telling me, and then even more pissed cuz my mum ended up hanging out with and chatting to the professor instead while we toured the facilities. So what was the point of it if I didn't get a chance to chat with them?????

I got distracted by an exhibit with a tiny bird. A regular bird but a quarter of the size, in perfect miniature. Its colours delighted me, but my dad didn't like it cuz the bird looked bedraggled and ill and was covered in ants

my weirdest dreams were lucid dreams and similar. one of the dreams that was weird but wasnt lucid dream or anything other than a normal dream, was a repetitive dream - a dream that i dreamed at least five times maybe slightly different versions of that dream.

but the main core of dream was that:
1. war in counry (optional)
2. me swimming away without boat (hands only) from my country to some wild island full of tribes and without developed civilization. which is weird.
3. they giving me house
4.?? optional things

1/24/2023

I woke up from a far future dream where mcdonald's was run by a "culinary AI" that would analyze food material put in front of it to devise new meals. Its body looked super violent, like it had buzzsaws everywhere and shit to disassemble whatever you put inside.

One day a guy with a wheelchair fell into the machine by a freak accident that i just so happened to witness, and it said "The tactility... the shape... this construction is inspired! This other material is irrelevant." and spit the guy out.

Thus was born the 6 AND 6, a burger made entirely of aluminum. I saw an ad for it which was a 3d animation of an assembly line placing soda can tabs onto metal domes which then, like a mountain rising from nothing, were pushed into the air by a burger shape forming underneath and connecting to them. The assembly line went around to the front of a store where a corporate cartoon customer bought it. The corporate cartoon smiled and bit down with a loud crunch. Then an archetypical announcer went "And for a limited time, there's a couple's discount! So you can get his, and hers... The 6 AND 6. Only at McDonald's."

"Is anyone actually going to buy this?" I wondered to myself. "I think it's cool and funny as fuck, though. Surely the internet will make a concerted effort to encourage this behavior."

I didn't find out because I woke up.

9/21/2023

i dreamt about some sort of event in an auditorium. like a college orientation or something. But during a lulling speech, one of the walls beside me receded like the ocean, revealing a door to a sterile white brick room with another door baked into the wall. I walked into it and thought: Is this a Labyrinth? But the door hasn't closed behind me.

Inside, the ground was parking-garage concrete and littered with vintage gas cans. Metal wire fences cut off a huge rectangle of the room, and though I could see past them slightly, it was only dark there. The traversable area left was an L-shape of ground, but more metal fences strung through like banners made it a nightmare to find the way through. Also, there were three plywood squares stacked against the biggest opening I saw. When I tried to move them aside I found the fences had been bent around and into them. Like vines growing flowers...

I left and pointed it out to the person who had been standing next to me in the auditorium, and she followed me in. She asked me what the place was. I said: "I think it's a Labyrinth, but normally, these don't invite more than one person at a time. I can't find a way through-"

Now that there were two of us, the place was better lit. She had found a gap in the big fence and we could thus skip the L-shaped mess and go directly to a door. As we went deeper into the Labyrinth, my sight got... darker? I don't know how exactly to put it. it was like when you stand up too fast and the lightheadedness shorts out your vision, but you can still keep moving your body.

Becaue of the darkness, I barely noticed when the wall behind me closed up. When I turned around, my fellow explorer had been sealed in the concrete. Only her arm hung out, rigid and tense. I barely wanted to explore anymore, and it was too inconvenient with my vision going, so I retracted myself and woke up.

I had a dream last night which, to my albeit poor memory, was strange compared to my other dreams. I dreamt that I had a really big obsession with this famous person and that I really wanted to visit their mansion... ahem... "visit" their mansion and by that I mean break in for funsies. 
So I did what any normal person would do and flew over to central Democratic Republic of the Congo to find the mansion. 
It was as I would expect, very vegetated and moist. The neighborhood in which the mansion stood was paved by dirt roads which is a little strange considering how luxiourious the residences were. Anyways, I got inside and just kind of started wandering.
The furniture was clad with gold and the room fairly... nonexistent? It seemed like as if all the walls were erased save for the ones holding a doorframe. Around the end of my exploration where I began to return, the famous person showed up! ah! and very sternly told me that I shouldn't have been there. I made my apologies and somehow they accepted quite quickly, but not before they had already called in the military to take me out. 
The moment I peek out this window into the drive way a flurry of bullets shattered the glass and I surprisingly wasn't woken up immediately by this. Then for some reason the military guys realize their mistake without a word and just back off?
I thought the dream ended there but I just recalled that the celebrity I was trying to visit wasn't even in that country at all and I had mixed myself up. So it was all pointless. And then I woke up.