Irregular Pulse

PULSE on 4 | 4102 | 4651, 0029:010

Show Content

CYCLES
The bar sits like a stone in a storm. Music pounds everything, and the dancefloor is infested with hundreds of moving bodies. There are near to no patrons at the bar, save for a squid and carapace-covered humanoid who don't seem alike in any manner. They're out of place, like a thousand things have gone wrong for them to be drinking here, together.

"Shit," Geneviève chuckles, "you really feel like this is the bar you want to regular?"

Civilian shakes his head, laughing along. "Well, it's... eheh. I guess. It's just the only bar I feel comfortable being at so often."

She squints. "Why's that? You hate public spaces. Or, I mean, that's what you tell me." Smirk, take a drink. Tastes odd. "Maybe you're really into the loud scene."

"No, no... I don't--" He fumbles over his words. "I've just been here so often it feels familiar. Hell, I'm probably painting a target on my back coming to the same place over and over, it's just... familiar." A long sigh. She seems to get it, at least a little. She always got it a little.

"Yeah."

"You know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I do. I mean, wow, jeez, obviously I know what you mean? I'm super clingy to the familiar." She grins. "I feel like we've had this convo before. Back when I was wearing heroshit to try and look cool..."

He scoffs. "I think you looked cool."

"Aw, cute." Gene gives him a gentle slap. "You're just saying that because you're manipulating me, I gotcha."

"No, I..." Civvie sinks. Isn't funny right now. "...I meant it. And I really... meant that I wanted to come here, to talk. It can be on shitty terms, that's perfectly alright, I just want you to know I'm being serious now."

Her expression droops a little, like she's sympathetic. "You don't have better people to talk to? I mean, people that don't actively berate you in the middle of casz conversation?"

"Not really."

"You put yourself in that situation, it seems like."

"...Yeah." He glances off again.

She smiles, confused. "Wow, you're really out of it!" Gene relents for a moment, taking another long drink and another long breath, and letting the 'tender, , pass her another. "C'mon, jeezshits, I'll listen. Least I can do."

Civvie nods slowly. "Thank you, Gene."

"Hey, listening is its own merit, no worries. You should try it sometime."

He clenches for a moment, and then loosens up. It's just a joke. He can handle a joke. He can handle this. It's going to be fine. He takes a long sip and starts.

"It started a couple cycles ago, when I had this dream... it was... a-ah. It was another me. Like I'd been there before. Right in that moment, in the same place, in the same office. But I was-- I hadn't done the same things. I hadn't done anything the same. And instead of being calm and content, I was lying in a pool of my own blood and seeing something terrible which had done it."

She tilts her head. "...Sounds like a bad dream."

Nod. "And, a-and... and that same night, I had these th-three characters enter my mind. A-And they were so vivid, so real, so living. And the spin I woke up, I went and made them. Wrote them so quickly that I didn't even realize what I'd done. I made them into ghosts and then sent them out, and I felt like I'd... c-completed something."

"Completed what?" Gene frowns. "I'm pretty sure you told me that spewing out ghosts from dreams or fantasy stories willy-nilly was against Harbinger code. You're supposed to at least save the nickel to sell it, right?"

"I know. I know!" He shudders, shakes. "But s-something was... w-wrong. And wh-when I released those ghosts, all these memories came back to me at once. Everything came back to me at once. I'd done this before. I'd wr-written them before. And... so many stories I'd written before, too. But I did them wrong."

"Wrong? I mean... in what way?"

Civilian stammers out, "This one story, t-ten growths ago." The swell of music makes him clench up further, but he continues, feverish, now fully inundated in this half-reality of a memory. "It had... i-it had this character, Dime. I wrote him up so long ago. And when I started writing, I u-used this input aggregator to help me. You know the sort."

She shrugs. "There are some good people in there. Y'know, amidst the... whatevery."

"I know! I know, and... they helped me make it right. And they were going to introduce these characters, they wanted more, they wanted... b-but something in me said, no, don't. Don't torture them. And I left it as just Dime. And he had such a good life, he had such a good fucking ending! And when he got out, he was ecstatic! And I just sent him out! But, G-Gene, I know that's not how it went last time."

"What last time, Civvie? You mean there was literally another- you- that did all the same stuff? But wrong? Whatever that means?"

"He put the other characters in. B-Belfry, her name, that was... and Yaffenhash. And they were miserable, Gene. They were so miserable, and made Dime's story so miserable, too. Yaffenhash, I-I feel like she-- I remember that she died. Dime went to go study some universe f-ff-fucking phenomena, and Belfry, sh-she's... been... she's still out there, on a space station, Gene. And she's almost lost it. She's almost c-completely lost it. And it's all my fault, a-and I... and now I know. And now I kn-know. And I know th-that every time I-I've d-done something like th-that and thought I h-had to, I... d-didn't."

Geneviève sits still for a second. She always was so good at listening to people. She always caught on so quick. When her friends were really in need, when they really needed her, she always was a better leader than any of them. She always said she associated most closely with 'light', and I know that, now. I see the light in her eyes, pure white. I know she's seen so much terrible in me, she knows that I don't deserve sympathy for this. And I hope it's for her that she reaches to hold my hand, just the one hand. Wants me to calm down.

Pity on a choking squid. Weak smile. "...Let's get you back to your office before you cry yourself to death, Civ."

Show Content

why are space squids ubiquitous. also fucking wow
nobods EVER fuckin gifted me a thing ever, so holy shit im flattered

also that comic excerpt is SUPER familiar. i feel like i knew the ia who wrote that one. in blihindsight it's pretty poigngiant and all that shisnatsty. also wow my typing quality degrades when i'm trying to be relatable, i gotta cut that shit down

lmaooo just kidding im lazy as fuck and also hip with the kids & relatable

so this one's extra long but it's not saying a lot that we couldntve just deduced ourselves? like for instance. this is the origin of that dimebag dupe that belfry killed, so lmfao another one bites the dust. also it seems like cibulligan is waking up to the fact that he like, is now repeating his actions over and over, but we saw that earlier with the like near-ending thing he did where he said all this.

i think the whole point of this one is to show that WAA WAA SQUID BOY IS SAD :(((((

like. what else is there even. some bartender with a weird name? news flash, there are like a billion weird names in this :b:universe, and a billion bartenders

greene is like the only actually interesting one cus they get to be controlled by someone like yours truly

IAs the best yooo

okay as a sidenote it's fuckin cool to see gene again but i dont really want to show that i find that cool but whatever. too bad we have NO WAY TO COMMUNICATE, unless holy shit, that body comes and i get to actually be my own person

neat as hell that'd be yeah...

listen whoever you are wack if ur another inbut aggburbator (cus you're totally speaking my language with the 'beg for replies' thing) let's hang sometimes dude

speaking of which. i never know where to direct this big ass thing. where do you wanna go next folks

tell me or i just shoot it some random place like this one