Ghostwriter

Ghostwriter
#24
RE: Ghostwriter
(05-18-2018, 11:38 PM)Arcanuse Wrote: »A name?
Never been much one for names, they tend to chafe a bit; nevermind the power one holds.
But, ah. Suppose I/O, Io, I-O or any other such variation would suffice.

I understand completely. Good to meet you, I/O. That's quite an appropriate moniker for the work we're doing here.

Mine isn't so symbolic. They call me 'Civvie' sort of backhandedly-- I don't make a good civilian. It's also the latter half of my species designation (CV).

I noticed some things you'd been transmitting a bit quieter:

(05-18-2018, 11:38 PM)Arcanuse Wrote: »Something strange would occur. Radio's would pick up an odd noise on an otherwise unused frequency. For ten minutes, it played the sound of a drum beating. Or perhaps, a heart. None would hear this at the time, or think much of it when it was found later.

Their is a shrill noise in the air today. Or is that just the wind?

I enjoy the intrigue, I/O. What's it to imply, exactly? Some force larger than the people on the surface of Chiron? I wrote a very well-nested story with one of those recently, a god that drifts through space, a horrific force that hurts the very air around it. Not visible unless you tell it to. That was a good nickel-- fifty-three ghosts. Most have left by now, but it's some of my best handiwork.

For now, I'll leave your creative juices to fester. I like where it's going.

My appendages act in precision. I am at the wheel of this device, writing and rewriting and demolishing with simple strokes. I have never gotten used to the gravity of this thing, how powerful I can make myself. It's just a little metal object with a universe trapped inside-- too much force and the thing would bend, instantly rendered moot.

It's a bit tough to write the very tiniest of details here, but enthralling. Despite my anxiety, I love my job. I think you can agree that the fear of a messy failure is what makes a successful story so wonderful. Let's get all these pieces in order.

(05-18-2018, 11:39 PM)☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ Wrote: »dime will catch belfry, but since the goal is to schmooze and not to arrest, she'll get her chance to explain everything, the whole conspiracy. they'll ally; at first it's mere pretense, but then dime will agree to use his authority to transport the briefcase to the top of the tower. deep down, after all, they both want to make the world a better place.

but belfry is more misguided than she can even imagine. refugia is not real, and belfry really has been a shapeshifting lizard all along, perhaps unbeknownst even to herself until the shocking reveal. maybe what's in the briefcase is not a beacon but a bomb, to destroy the holy box. now the chase is on the other foot.

Let me try and pull this together. I like a lot of this direction, but I believe a bomb needs a more grand purpose-- and besides, it'd been established (though not in stone) that creation of more cardboard boxes led to the capitalist revolution in tech that permeates Chiron's surface.

I have an idea that maintains Refugia's existence while making things very, very complicated still.

Feel free to edit this following bit as necessary.

The chase lasts half an hour. Belfry is using every tool at her disposal, and so is Dime, darting between dimlit alleyway and apartment complex. Dime has a cardboard box, his trump card... if he can't catch her, a nick to its surface will cause such calamity that he should be able to get an advantage. Highly illegal, of course-- this thing in his bag is worth more than his life, fifty-fold. There are few of this potency on the planet. But if it's his only option, well...

The fear of it is eating him from inside. Belfry, meanwhile, feels as if she's on the brink of saving the world. She is a hero in this moment.

"Please!" Dime calls after her, the both of them ascending an abandoned elevator shaft. "You don't understand what you're doing! Your people could just as easily come to kill us all!"

"I know!" she shouts. She is the protagonist-- she's sure of it. This story is simple. "There's no other option!"

They are on the forty-ninth floor. The only thing between the frazzled pair and the rooftop entrance is a single hallway. Belfry is sprinting. Dime loses his breath. He keels to the floor, and in one last moment, he shouts, "Stop, or I... I'll break the Box."

She stops. He is clutching its cardboard surface and his issue jackknife. Neither one of them wants this to happen. By the looks of it, this is the original, the very strongest in existence-- how has he gotten it? (Perhaps this has yet to be written.) Belfry stares for a moment. "If you arrest me, you know I'll never get another chance. Our species will die."

"I know you'll be able to activate the beacon even if I do this," he says shakily. "But you won't live to see what happens... n-neither of us will. I-I don't... want... t-to arrest you. I know where that leads. I-I just need you to listen to me."

This is the most tense moment they have ever had. To approach, for Belfry, means giving up what seems like the best advantage she's had. But she is a motivator, a convincer... she believes in this so greatly that if he's willing to listen, she's willing to talk.

She helps him up. He's barely breathing. He puts the box back in his bag. "Where'd you even get that?" she asks weakly. He doesn't reply.

"I know what it's like," he says, "to want to make things right. And it's the worst feeling in the world to have the best option be bad. But if you call Refugia..."

"...they'll come to help," Belfry states firmly.

"Or they'll see we're weak and take what we have." He motions towards the payload on his back.

"They're my people."

"It sounds like you never met them."

The air is cold. They're both breathing easier, but it's still icy, and they both tremble. Belfry stumbles over to a window, looking out over the sapphire-blue sea, where bright moonlight makes it dazzle. She watches the people move beneath. She sees so much terrible and so much good in the underlying threads which weave the surface of the world. No stone isn't important in this planetary foundation, this night-sky tapestry beating down on what feels hopeless.

Dime sits weakly on the windowsill beside her. She says to him, "We don't have the ability to opt out of choosing, here. Either we try something, or we try doing nothing. We've tried doing nothing for hundreds of years. People have known the roots of the terrible things in this world for hundreds of years, and nothing's happening about it. Things just... become worse."

He nods slowly. "...I've tried doing something about it. Helping people, taking a job that lets me help people, but..."

Belfry's eyes focus. They are beams of light in a dark void. "This is your chance to do something about it. If it fails, at least we tried. I don't know what'll happen. I just know it's something."

The broken cop breaks further, down the middle, down his central bone. He cries softly, and settles into the windowsill. All that he's failed to do and all he is reluctant to do comes to a head. It all comes together in this moment, all things become sensible, and yet...

...and yet it's horrifying to realize how much his life's been trampled. He wonders if a younger version of him could have made the choice to join Belfry on the way up, but even now he's having trouble being as optimistic.

That doesn't change the fact that he knows it's right. Change is terrifying, but only because that terror has been beaten into Dime with a hammer. He reaches for Belfry's hand, and the two walk with mixed feelings to the very top, where things have come to a very literal peak.

Dime sits on standby. Belfry prepares the beacon on an air conditioning unit. They both take a moment to breathe.

The very sky is saying... let's see where this goes.

(05-18-2018, 11:38 PM)Arcanuse Wrote: »Let's see... The beacon will launch, sending its message and guiding refugees to Chiron, or it might. The future is a bit more fluid than the present, and a fair deal more workable.

Let's say it does, and call it branch A.
Of course, if it does happen there are a few setpieces we would need.

Does Dime find the bug? Belfry? Anyone? The story would work either way, but the decision will ripple and become more relevant over time.

Tension rising to its highest point as Dime comes so, so close to stopping Belfry from using the beacon, but fails at the last moment.

--------------------------
End of book one, begin the next.
--------------------------

What happens between the beacon launching and the refugees arrival? A timeskip most likely, but there is room for a good deal of character growth here.

What happens when the refugees arive? Do they come guns blazing or in peace? Does the world see them as the refugees they are or will the Lizard people convince them they are horrific monsters at every turn?

Will their differences be resolved peacefully, or will tensions rise into open conflict?

If open conflict, then how does it end? Does it end? Who, if anyone, is the winner?

I don't know yet. I think the call on the beacon must be a fog in our understanding, a void, something which requires further determination.

I think I know what happens next, though, and I am writing it in now.

When Belfry finishes the call, both her and Dime are in chill air. She had to identify herself for the beacon to work, with genetic information and a full questionnaire about her history and her species. It didn't even ask her to speak with her voice-- instead, her unrestrained thoughts were transmitted straight to Refugia. This makes it all the more terrifying when, from behind pieces of concrete and machinery, a dozen unmistakable foes appear with terrible grins. Reptilians.

They thank Dime for delivering them the Sacred Box, which they say will give them all the power they could possibly need to finish takeover from within. They also thank Belfry for fulfilling her path.

"Each step along the way was easy to manipulate," they creel. "Without circumstances up to this point, they never would have believed you. They take mental transmissions, impossible for us to fake. Unless we had a Belfry Retting, somebody who believed she'd been dropped here on accident. Somebody who really believed it."

She has tears in her eyes. Dime is terrified, reaching for his handgun. "I was! Look at me! I'm my species!" Belfry shouts.

"Ah, yes," one of the lizards says. "Dear, it's so easy for us to fake a form like that. You really were a natural-- even from a young age. And once you believe you're meant to be a certain way, you never try to break free."

The notion makes her form fade. She watches in horror as she melts down into a form as horrifying as the lizards around her. Belfry Retting's true visage is revealed.

"Now, Dime," chuckles one of the crowd, "hand us the box, and we won't toss you off of here."

The man has been through a lot today. He gives it a moment's thought, and his mind drifts to the words Belfry had told him a moment ago: even if you don't know what's going to happen, the only other option is a blase, empty oblivion. He knows (or thinks he knows) that she has betrayed him. But it's the right sentiment. He decides it's important enough to follow.

He shuts his eyes and tosses his bag off the rooftop.

Each and every person, including the terrified Belfry, realize at once what will happen when the fragile cardboard box inside hits the ground at an incredible speed, breaking completely.

...

It seems like their story is only half over.

Let's pause a moment and get some critique. I realize I've truly sped through some of this, and there are still gaps in our understanding of this story. But I can feel some real emotion in here from these characters. I feel we're really getting somewhere.
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Messages In This Thread
Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-18-2018, 04:16 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-18-2018, 05:05 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-18-2018, 05:26 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Dragon Fogel - 05-18-2018, 05:13 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Dragon Fogel - 05-18-2018, 05:32 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-18-2018, 05:35 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Dragon Fogel - 05-18-2018, 05:45 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-18-2018, 06:01 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by FlanDab - 05-18-2018, 05:52 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Dragon Fogel - 05-18-2018, 06:13 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-18-2018, 06:32 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Arcanuse - 05-18-2018, 12:16 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-18-2018, 01:04 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Dragon Fogel - 05-18-2018, 02:09 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-18-2018, 03:04 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Electrum - 05-18-2018, 05:53 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Arcanuse - 05-18-2018, 10:35 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-18-2018, 11:07 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Dragon Fogel - 05-18-2018, 11:21 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-18-2018, 11:27 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-18-2018, 11:57 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Arcanuse - 05-18-2018, 11:38 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-19-2018, 04:42 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-18-2018, 11:39 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Dragon Fogel - 05-19-2018, 05:09 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-19-2018, 09:12 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Arcanuse - 05-19-2018, 12:30 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Dragon Fogel - 05-19-2018, 10:42 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-19-2018, 11:57 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Arcanuse - 05-19-2018, 11:26 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-20-2018, 12:18 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-20-2018, 12:30 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-20-2018, 01:48 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-20-2018, 04:52 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-20-2018, 05:16 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by MagicHats - 05-20-2018, 05:17 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-21-2018, 12:25 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Dragon Fogel - 05-20-2018, 01:27 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Arcanuse - 05-20-2018, 05:39 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-21-2018, 01:52 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-21-2018, 03:18 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-21-2018, 04:33 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-22-2018, 03:28 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-22-2018, 03:34 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Dragon Fogel - 05-22-2018, 03:52 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Arcanuse - 05-22-2018, 12:57 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-22-2018, 07:10 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Dragon Fogel - 05-22-2018, 07:15 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Arcanuse - 05-22-2018, 07:26 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-22-2018, 07:30 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Arcanuse - 05-22-2018, 10:57 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-22-2018, 11:13 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-22-2018, 11:23 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-22-2018, 11:28 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-23-2018, 01:04 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-23-2018, 01:25 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Arcanuse - 05-23-2018, 02:17 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-23-2018, 11:06 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by deadharold - 05-24-2018, 12:21 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Arcanuse - 05-24-2018, 01:48 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-24-2018, 03:53 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-24-2018, 06:07 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-24-2018, 07:25 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-24-2018, 07:33 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-24-2018, 07:35 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Numbers - 05-24-2018, 07:37 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-24-2018, 07:37 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-24-2018, 07:40 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-24-2018, 07:50 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Arcanuse - 05-24-2018, 07:52 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-24-2018, 07:56 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-24-2018, 07:58 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-24-2018, 08:10 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Arcanuse - 05-24-2018, 08:35 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-24-2018, 09:16 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Dragon Fogel - 05-24-2018, 09:21 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-24-2018, 09:32 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-24-2018, 09:35 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Arcanuse - 05-24-2018, 09:41 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-24-2018, 11:11 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-24-2018, 11:15 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-24-2018, 11:19 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-24-2018, 11:23 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-24-2018, 11:33 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-24-2018, 11:33 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Arcanuse - 05-24-2018, 11:35 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-24-2018, 11:42 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-24-2018, 11:44 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 05-24-2018, 11:53 PM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-25-2018, 12:01 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-25-2018, 12:07 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by Arcanuse - 05-25-2018, 12:12 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-25-2018, 12:47 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-25-2018, 12:55 AM
RE: Ghostwriter - by kilozombie - 05-25-2018, 02:31 AM