You Wake Up In A Bar

Stax.

What a ball of gas. Sometimes you wonder if he was any better outside of Terrats, but you suppose you'll probably never know. As with most of the residents, he seems content to keep all the bad bits of history hidden. If only you'd had Intrusive when you first met him!

But that's the least of your problems. Keeping Sublimate from a full-blown battle is at the top of the priority list, and you have a plan.






You take Laren's PDA- a bit of a large, rectangular device, with retractable buttons, dials, a keyboard, and a large, extremely high-fidelity screen, that seems to 'zoom' to adjust your current gaze- and begin fiddling with the interface. You're logged onto something called the Starnet Wyreforums. Without paying much attention to the Wyre that Laren was logged onto, you tap on the search bar at the top, and input 'parasitic worm eggs'. Within an instant, you're thrown a list of largely badly-spelled titles, listed in order of date. The third-most recent catches your eye, as it actually has a couple of replies. You tap on it to find...

...a rather overwhelming wall of text.

Transcripted by HandyBot33KShow

Life -> Organics -> Health -> Edible -> Animal Byproducts
Parasitic worm eggs in starmarket?
Wyre created on: 4 | 4102 | 4650 (8/12/2665 Your Time)

Post by: Starnet User
Location: Mznlk-5, Mars
Posted on: 4 | 4102 | 4650, 1065:361

OK, so I was headed to my local Starmark (Colum-ices) to pick up some eggs for my ma's casserole, but when I started to use the auto-search thing at the front desk, a LOT of different kinds of eggs came up. I get typical Chicken eggs (though I don't get why the mart would name their stuff off a criminal) but also lots of stuff, like Q.U.A.I.L., and a whole big section on worm eggs. I'm really curiouus as to how anyone would want to eat something that gets shat out a wormy's butt. Sorry, I digress.

Anyway, while I didn't end up purchasing them (poor and not curiouus enough) I was pretty damn surprised to find something called "Parasitic worm eggs". The image was for this big bold cartoon with red and thick stripes and it had the name just printed on it. Not even a species name like there had been on the generic worm egg box. So here's my question: what even the heck? Is it some kind of euphemism, or are there eggs for parasitic worms... or are the eggs parasitic?

Post by: caasi23453
Location: Nieuw Groves, XV4-II
Posted on: 4 | 4102 | 4650, 1079:521

Hi Starnet User,

Let me start by telling you a brief story. When I was 43 growths aged, I made the financially nonviable decision to move to an outworlder farm on a relatively unfertile, young planet, very far from the Core. Not only did I have no way of paying for my residence there, but I was also completely unfamiliar with the culture and people I was landing by. Still, the distance from the life I'd previously led and the alien atmosphere attracted me-- and on an impulse, I did my best to survive.

I was picked up by a kind triplet of Naeronaus working the farm there, aforementioned outworlders who had lived there their entire lives. Truly kind. As I was born into a society wih polygonal relationships with much more flux and change, the dedication that these three had for each other was very striking. But that's beside the point. When they chose to let me live in their chiro pond, they also asked for me to do some minor physical labour to pay for my stay. This was something I'd already been meaning to ask to do, and I happily obliged. Their farm had a heavy focus on animal byproducts (perhaps why I've such a presence on this section of the Wyreforums) and used a variety of native worms for this purpose. Most (especially you) ought know about large invertebrates capable of producing milk, but there's a market for large, unfertilized worm eggs produced in a fashion not far from a typical ovulating animal. This was their largest source of income, and though I started as a simple farmhand, within the growth I had grown incredibly, incredibly fond of these animals, and the farm I was now accustomed to.

You must realize that, despite your initial disgust, these eggs are great. In fact, I'd say they're the best eggs that aren't mass produced nowadays. But the marketing and packaging used in major starports and markets, like the one you surely live near, indicates that they are 'dangerous' and 'alien'. Red and black stripes-- like poison, despite the fact that these worms are lovable, albeit parasitic (of trees). This marketing is killing industris like worm farming, and was the biggest factor contributing to the closure of the Naeronaus' farm, uprooting both me and the family I lived with for twenty growths. Support these sorts of farms next time-- I swear it's worth the price.

Post by: Starnet User
Location: Mznlk-5, Mars
Posted on: 4 | 4102 | 4650, 1726:104

You glance worriedly at the building tension in Sublimate's voice, and the building frown of Bloomy's expression, but you're trying your best to focus on this forum Wyre, and all you can give is an equally conflict-averse frown. Sublimate, in an act of pure fury, downs the rest of her drink in one fluid motion.








Finally, you figure it out. Gotta cut this whole shenanigan short before it gets out of hand and paw and wing.













Stax retracts a little. You can't tell if his expression is contempt or frustration, but you're having doubts that it's shame. Just as you've finished this reply, the QUIK-OVEN dings-- it's finished with Bloomy's lasagna. You begin to take it out, and plate an appropriate serving for the rather large cat.






With a couple of slices, taking out a corner piece of the very, very odd 'cat food casserole', you've done it! This dish felt like it took almost two months to make, but nope-- just a few turns.

Stax, at last, speaks, after nudging the counter absentmindedly with his glowing sun-leg.








That's right, Greene. Despite that surprisingly workable ordeal, you've made it through midday. After leveling up, you have the intention of speaking to Stax in another room-- though there's a small hangup. Leaving the bar feels... weird. You've got a bit of an aversion to it, though you feel like you could overpower that aversion. The alternative is speaking to him right here and now, probably without a lot of professionalism in front of your patrons. You'll also have to figure out what approach you want to take with him.

Afternoon has passed. The time is now evening, which will tend to be the longest and most difficult segment of the day. You are given a several-turn break between segments of time to recover.

You have gained a bartending level. You may now pick up to three skills-- one from the first perk rank, and two from the newly discovered second perk rank. Any that you do not pick will be available again next time you level up, as well as a new rank.

{I} Intuitive: Introduction cards will show somebody's ingredient preferences.

{I} Copier: You can now use the Unshaken to replicate a drink you've previously made, once per day.

{I} Cannoneer: You can now pop the top off the Unshaken at will, releasing whatever reaction is inside.

{I} Scribe: You gain information about any ingredient at will, thrice per day.

{I} Drunken Faster: You can wash 1 dish per turn for free (a.k.a. still doing other things) while drunk.

{I} Drunken Master: Your attacks deal incredible damage while drunk.

{II} Mixmaster: Drinks or food with a special correlation with the current music being played will gain a massive bonus for most patrons capable of hearing.

{II} Audiophile: Music with a special correlation to a given patron or situation will passively increase approval and mood for those affected.

{II} Generator: The Unshaken can produce two servings of any named exotic liquid and add it to the Cabinet once per turn. This consumes Greene's action, and is risky when used by a non-bartender.

{II} Eraser: The Unshaken can be used to freely vacuum up, and instantly vaporize, contaminants in the air or in drinks, with settings based on particulate size.

{II} Baker: Bake like the ancient chefs of the stars, and cook any pastry in one turn.

{II} Speed Demon: Flip a coin to mix up to four drinks in one turn, or end up failing (and losing all ingredients).

{II} Phytogenesis: Greene can grow many plants for ingredients on their leafy surface, provided there's a consistent source of sunlight.

{II} Phytochemist: Greene can use moving branches to automatically make drinks or meals at half speed without requiring an action, provided there's a consistent source of sunlight.

Cup status: 0 occupied, 3 dirty (Rooted Bean, Dynamic Dynamite, Ashen Corrugible), 3 free
Plate status: 2 occupied (Bloomy's TGCB, Stax's unfinished meal [1/3] ), 2 dirty (TQoaBT, Y,SY,S), 0 free
Scavenger ability: Activated (0 uses)
Intrusive ability: Enabled

By creating your first dish on an actual plate in a while, you've attained some new entries in The Cabinet!

Author's NotesShow

Hey, so you might have seen (or attempted to avoid) the very short You Wake Up In Some Guy's House. I'm happy to report that this April Fool's gag is canon for YWUIAB! I'd recommend giving it a quick read. Sure, all this serious business is serious and such, but it can't hurt to get a little existential silly with it sometimes.

And it's got Stax in it. The honest-to-Luxulek Stax, the one-and-only. Watch as he shows just how much he's grown since his appearance in YWUISGH.

In terms of present YWUIAB: it's time to level up, take a breather, and talk to your employee.