The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

>Weapons of Mass Destruction: be surprisingly slippery.

>Master of Elfhame: Pook in next to Catherine O' Daisies. Have a score to settle.

(just moving this after the update, as I posted it a few minutes early)

Earl: Hide in the ensuing slaughter about to take place and cradle your weapon of choice for comfort a water pipe. Block out the noise and achieve an internal nirvana state in the midst of this cacophony of violence or start having a paranoid episode.

(Vulpsmarschal Sweetcheeks) Demonstrate precisely how skilled you are with the morningstar.
(Vulpsmarschal Sweetcheeks) At the same time, demonstrate the prowess of Vulpitanian armourers.
(Vulpsmarschal Sweetcheeks) Lose your (silver-steel) trousers. Have an uncanny sense of deja-vu.
(H.M. Queen Edessa) Begin weaving a particularly ornate and complex set of South Country magicks.
(Burnside) Continue to yell threats.
(H.M. King Adler II) Quiet your boisterous lover/minion.
(Thomson) Wonder if now would be a good time to "check routes of egress."
(Well-meaning elf) Stroll in between the two armies.
(Well-meaning elf) Start to preach the virtues of peace.
(Well-meaning elf) Get the razzing of a lifetime. And elves live a long time.
(H.G. Catherine O'Daisies) So are you just going to watch all of this on scrycast?
(Scrycast Commentators) Note who is sponsoring this epic battle -- Yummikake!

Fifi, somehow find yourself back in Adler's camp covered in pie residue.

Theronmyathus, decare Adler to be a traitor to the kingdom and your intent to kill him. Preferably quickly and brutally. Unless he surrenders, in which case he'll get a fair trial before being killed quickly and brutally. Accuse Adler of a number of crimes, many of which had absolutely no connection with him.

Vulpsmarshal Sweetcheeks, declare Adler to be an enemy of the Vulpitanian Republic. Before advancing, however, break open your own secret orders scroll. Orders, involve the sentence "Attempt to look brave before receiving a fate worse than death without effecting the outcome of the battle".

Avogadro, come to the front line. Accuse Adler of kidnapping his beloved vixen.

Archers, shoot your arrows.
Adler, go into an Irenaid rage. Adler's rage aura, deflect any arrow heading for him.

Queen Edessa, shoot Adler with your magic staff. Adler's aura, alter and reflect the magic bolt back at her.
Edessa, be hideously mutated by the spell. Run away, but not before loudly swearing revenge on Adler and any of his associates.

Infantry, charge.
Battle, be described in great detail.
Vulpitanian guard, led by Vulpsmarshal Sweetcheeks, https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/M...eatRetreat
Sweetcheeks, be the only casualty in the Vulp charge.

Adler's army, be woefully unprepared. Barely manage to repel the first wave.

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>MacBrock: Scoff at the opposing army! They skipped meals? There's absolutely no chance they can be battle ready after starving themselves.
Adler's army, be woefully unprepared.

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"TIS NAE REEGHT," MacBrock bellowed indignantly. "ATTACKIN' ERE THE LAST MEAL IS SARVED. CRAZED, PITIFUL STRATEGY FRAE TH' MARHAL. THEY'LL NE'ER MEK IT DOON T'US LADS ON EMPTY STOOMACHS, FEAR NOT."

>Burnside: You've had dreams about this. Finally, an opportunity to disembowel people en masse consequence free. The opposing army shall witness horrors they could have never conceived of in their darkest nightmares.
(Burnside) Continue to yell threats.

"GIT ON YORE FEET, YA LAZY SCALLYWAGS," Burnside yelled. "That there opposin' army ain't foolin' and neither am I. I'm a-comin down thar, and any yall what ain't ready to move is gonna hafta deal with me!"

0829sproing.gif

With that, she vaulted over the railing, and sounds of mayhem erupted from my army's camp.

(Vulpsmarschal Sweetcheeks) Demonstrate precisely how skilled you are with the morningstar.
(H.M. Queen Edessa) Begin weaving a particularly ornate and complex set of South Country magicks.
Theronmyathus, decare Adler to be a traitor to the kingdom and your intent to kill him. Preferably quickly and brutally. Unless he surrenders, in which case he'll get a fair trial before being killed quickly and brutally. Accuse Adler of a number of crimes, many of which had absolutely no connection with him.
Vulpsmarshal Sweetcheeks, declare Adler to be an enemy of the Vulpitanian Republic.
Avogadro, come to the front line. Accuse Adler of kidnapping his beloved vixen.

0829charge.gif

"The enemy is making aggressive movements!" Theromyathus screeched. "Form up in battle lines! Elite Shrubs to the front! On my command, we advance, to bring justice to the arch-traitor Adler!"

"Doomer of Kings!" Edessa added, as she began to weave some scary-looking magick with her battle staff. "Corrupter of Floozies!"

"Enemy of the Vulpitanian Republic!" Vulpsmarshal Sweetcheeks declared, as he twirled his morning-star above his head. "Spoiler of pies!"

"Spoiler of beautiful & virtuous vixens!" Avogadro shrieked angrily as he pushed his way to the front of the ranks.

>Adler: The top of the tower is a good place for you to be. It's a defensible position that let's you oversee the battle in a good sniping spot and easily shout commands from above. You should try taking out the commanding officers to leave them without direction specifically Theronmyathus and Sweetcheeks because they're jerks. Maybe use burning arrows on the shrubs if you got any.
>Adler: Pesky seelie thoughts keep creeping into your head. Have a morale quandary about killing the queen. On one hand, she's a self-serving, unseelie shrew of a woman who played a part in your brother's death. On the other hand, she's pregnant with your brother's only child. Do you really want to stamp out the only legacy he was able to leave?

"You'd best stay here, Your Majesty," Ms. Thomson advised me.

"I should be down there, leading my men into battle," I protested.

"You are too important to risk," she countered sternly. "I will co-ordinate the attack. You must remain here in this elevated vantage where you can survey the field and shout orders. Use your bow to pick off strategic targets. Aim for ranking officers. And dodge any shots that come your way. Good luck, and I hope to speak with you again when the battle is over."

0829archer.gif

Thomson bounded down the stairs and left me alone on the tower porch. I nervously drew my bow and watched the two armies advance toward each other. Theronmyathus' troops were orderly and disciplined. My own forces looked like a disorganized rabble, shambling forward only because Burnside was jabbing them in the back with sharp objects.

I thought that perhaps if I shot Theronmyathus, this would end quickly with the Albric Tor defenders routed in confusion? Or, more likely, Avogadro or Sweetcheeks, or perhaps even Edessa, would assume command if the eagle fell. I felt less qualms about shooting the mole or the fox .. but could I shoot the Queen? She had conducted herself in a manner bordering on Unseelie through all of this, but still - she was pregnant with Estmere's child. Estmere's semi-lowfolk, half-scuti child. And furthermore, what kind of femme was she, to be fighting in her condition. She had been out for my blood since before Nidab & Semos came. Perhaps she needed to be stopped...

I slowly nocked an arrow and raised my bow.

>Adler: Still your trembling hand, you spineless seelie whelp, how can you expect to land a fatal shot on the queen if your whole body is shaking like a leaf?
>Adler: Y-you can't do it. You just can't do it! That's your nephew. You have so few family left... Maybe you can just have her arrested and stand trial after the birth? You could raise him as your own and fill his head with stories about how his demon mother killed his beloved papa, he'd be loyal to you then.
>Adler: A tiny secondary voice scolds you. A tiny voice that's been in the back of you mind since you spent too long in your glamour. A tiny voice that's been feeding on your hate and anger. Lots of leaders have a second voice, it's how they can make tough choices and still stay sane. Whenever they have to do something they don't want to, they let the other voice do it. For no particular reason, let's call yours Randall. Sure, Adler would never execute an expectant mother in cold blood, but Randall could. Why not let Randall be in control for a while?
>Adler: A quick shot to the vitals is too clean and painless a death for the overreaching she-beast and her abomination child. Why not make this punishment fit her crimes? If you put a little drop of the plague of battles on your arrow and shot her in a non-vital area, she'd go berserk and her own followers would have to put her down to save themselves from her insanity. How poetic...

adler > strip naked and turn into Relda fofaux and elf mind avogadro to carry Edessa far away from battle when she is knocked out. Elf mind Thomson and Burnside to fall back to to you if things go badly. try and knock edessa out with a non lethal arrow

Adler > you think about your last resort and check for the plague of battles vial. its missing from your elfventory!

ixie > fly away with vial in hands towards the duchess who is wielding a bow and arrow

>Shoot at Edessa, but miss. This has far reaching consequences.

Macbrock: Rush forward into the fray of battle, embody the true warrior aspect to inspire your fellow men. In actuality your attacking them because you suspect they have uneaten meals, still your berserk rage does inspire the men.
Avogadro: Be so emboldened by your passionate fervor for Relda Fauxfox you blatantly disregard such troublesome notions such as your orders and tactics.
Vulpmarshal: Begin screaming out demands at Adler to know what happened to Relda Fauxfox.
Avogadro: Why is the Vulpmarshal asking about Fauxfox?! Kill him he may have been a traitor all along and took your lady love because of jealously of what you and Fauxfox had!
Albric Tor Force:Begin fighting each other as your own generals fall to infighting
Theromyathus: As anarchy descends on your forces hold the line as best as you can. Hold on why is there a giant shadow of a badger cast upon you and why is it holding a broadsword the size of your arm? And why is it screaming about vittles?

>Alder: As you take aim at Edessa, realise that Ambassador Chesswick is not amongst the Marshall's forces. Something is seriously amiss.
>Hidden sniper (Ms. Thompson? Fifi? Another Sisterhood agent?): Aim at Alder. Narrowly miss.
>Burnside: You've never had this much fun before, venery and then a battle (to be followed by more venery perhaps)? This is the life of an elf!

Adler, shoot an arrow at the queen.
Edessa, block the arrow with your staff.
Magics of the staff and arrow, interact. Results, be rather entertaining to watch, but not very pleasant to anyone affected.

Vulpsmarshal Sweetcheeks, attack using a battle technique that was seemingly designed to show off one's armour and weapons in the most intimidating way possible, but be remarkably ineffective in actual combat.

Agent Earl, attack the rebel army using an extremely powerful narcotic vapour generator (which is just smoke from a very large joint being breathed onto them).

Fifi, show up. Do not know what's going on. Be under the impression that the battle is a part of the convention.

Izzy, be present, but not particularly active as a combatant.

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>Adler: Still your trembling hand, you spineless seelie whelp
>Adler: Y-you can't do it. You just can't do it!

0905drawbow.gif

I drew my bow and aimed hesitantly at various targets: Edessa weaving fell magicks with her staff, Theronmyathus brandishing his sword and screaming orders, Avogadro glaring right at me and seething, SALV Sweetcheeks standing alone in a wide circle as he recklessly twirled his morning-star, MacBrock jumping up in the way and bellowing about food ..

But no matter who I pointed my arrow at, I could not bring myself to release the bowstring and commit to the shot!

With a sigh I eased the string forward and lowered my bow. I clearly was not cut out for battle. Everything was different when the targets were living elves, not lowfolk or hay bales. I couldn't bring myself to do it.

>Hidden sniper (Ms. Thompson? Fifi? Another Sisterhood agent?): Aim at Alder. Narrowly miss.

0905close.gif

An arrow suddenly whizzed past my head, slicing off a few hairs and lightly grazing my ear.

>Adler: A tiny secondary voice
If you put a little drop of the plague of battles on your arrow
check for the plague of battles vial.
ixie > fly away with vial
>Shoot at Edessa, but miss.
Albric Tor Force:Begin fighting each other
Theromyathus: As anarchy descends on your forces hold the line as best as you can.
Adler, shoot an arrow at the queen.
Edessa, block the arrow with your staff.

0905uhoh.gif

The next thing I knew, I was looking out over a field of noxiously swirling green fog. I could see nothing through the cloud, but hideous sounds of frenzied melee - the clanging of weapons and yells of combatants - wafted up from within.

"Well done, Sire," a tiny voice commented from somewhere nearby. "Great Auk, that stuff is effective. Thou hadst best stay up here til the smoke clears."

0905cursed.gif

"YOU UNSEELIE BASTARD!!" Edessa shrieked at me from a small hillock near the city walls. She was standing inside a dome of magickal force being maintained (I assumed) by Hoofmaiden Esmerelda. Theronmyathus knelt beside her, sweating with pain from an arrow in his elbow.

"You've murdered them all!" Edessa continued. "I knew you were desperate to seize the throne, but I never thought you'd stoop to this! Very well, Albric Tor is yours. But I am still Queen of Faerie, and by royal authority I curse and condemn you, Adler Young. For the crime you have committed this day, you shall never leave this place! I sentence you to confinement within the boundaries of Albric Tor!"

And with that, the three of them suddenly pooked away.

>Thomson and Burnside: The two of you were thankfully able to avoid the fog and seal yourselves in the tower before you were affected. Unfortunately there are now rabid, bloodthirsty elves bashing on the door.
>Adler: Thomson and Burnside were very insistent that you stayed in the tower and they were able to escape the plague in a way not possible without foreknowledge. They had plenty of time to plan while you were gone, are they hiding something from you? Again?
>Who shot that arrow? Were they aiming at you, or did they just want you to think they were?
>The shadowy figure of a mouse with a bow ducks out of view.
>Adler: You won! Sort of... Trapped in the city forever... Why does your life have to be so complicated?

>Adler: Oh FUCK. Looks like you need to find yourself a new queen. Where's that Skönk girl?

I believe this is where Ballad ends and segues into Zandar's Saga?

Adler> You lose sight of burnside and thomson. Without thinking you jump down to rescue them, but instead you are enveloped in the green fog. Everything goes black, only the sounds of screams fill the darkness.

Adler, wait out the fog. Be disturbed by the sounds of battle and screaming.

Discover that even after the fog has lifted, there are still rabid survivors attacking anything in their sights. Be shocked to see some of your friends and comrades among them.

Once slipping through the berserk inhabitants, try to find a way out of Albric Tor. Discover that not only that your curse is quite real, but also, that the entire region around the city way placed under magic quarantine, prohibiting any passage in or out of the zone. It would appear that you're on your own in a ruined city populated by rabid zombies.

>And so finaly the shoe drps and we catch up to where we knew this was alway going.

>Boggle for a moment at the sheer magnitude of the horror you just commited. And so very easily too.

>But you still go a lot a to do, 'King' Adler. Revenge to plan and a 'Mistake' to correct. Also more immediatly you'll nedd some people to bring you regular food and news from the exterior world.

>You have a lot to plan over for the future.

MacBrock: Wander into the tower before the plague hits the field, war is hungry work and there should be something nice to eat in here wait why is everyone trying to bash down the door? Are they trying to get your meals!? The bastards! (I just want MacBrock to survive)
Adler: Find Thompson, Burnside, and MacBrock.
Adler: "I get the suspicious feeling that all of this was your lot's doing."
MacBrock: Your mouth is too stuffed with food to respond.
Burnside: Try to look as innocent as possible, which just makes you look more guilty you deranged loony toon
Thompson: Give that look to Adler that lawyers give to their clients when they ask "how much a chance you think I got"

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>Boggle for a moment at the sheer magnitude of the horror you just commited. And so very easily too.
>Weapons of Mass Destruction: be surprisingly slippery.

"What happened?" I murmured, with a miserable sinking feeling that I already knew the answer.

"The Plague of Battles hath been released, Sire," an Ixie replied.

"No," I groaned.  "How can this be?  There's no way I would ever use that."

"That's exactly what thou saidst when I came to remind thee to use it," the Ixie replied.  "Thou seemed to be in some form of Irenaeid battle-trance, whipping off arrows as quickly as thou couldst apport them .. but the tide of battle was still going against thee.  'Use the Plague of Battles, Sire,' I exhorted thee.  'Shoot it amongst the enemy commanders, and the day is ours.'  Thou swattedst angrily at me.  'A true scion of Irenaeus needeth no such foul tricks to win a battle,' thou scoffedst."

0912fling.gif

"Then thou tookest the phial from out thy elfintory and flung it away over the porch railing."

"But -" I interjected.  "Duchess Catherine told me that the container could not be opened accidentally."

"Twas as she said," the Ixie elaborated.  "One of thy army spotted the phial on the ground, and taking it for a potion, rashly opened it and drank it."

I stared goggle-eyed at the Ixie.

"He immediately began attacking his fellows with savage ferocity, and then .. he exploded, causing the cloud which thou seest."

I gazed out across the roiling cloud of green vapor, and thanked Fuma that it was opaque enough to prevent me seeing the carnage which I could hear taking place within.

Adler> You lose sight of burnside and thomson. Without thinking you jump down to rescue them

"This is terrible!" I shrieked.  "I've got to do something!"

0912prevent.gif

I leaped up and tried to climb over the porch railing, but a sudden swarm of Ixies pushed me back.

"LET ME GO!" I bellowed.  "I have to get down there and help my allies!  I asked them to come fight for me!  This whole debacle is my fault!"

"Twill do no good to throw thy life away!" the Ixies insisted.  "None can survive the Plague of Battles!  Its victims are doomed to fight until they are slain or die of exhaustion!  No-one escapes!"

"Edessa and Theronmyathus escaped," I countered.

"They were far enough from the blast to see the cloud coming and react.  The Queen and her hoofmaiden are both powerful spellweavers.  Dost thou know how to make a dome of force to keep the vapors out?"

I had to admit that I did not.

>Thomson and Burnside: The two of you were thankfully able to avoid the fog and seal yourselves in the tower before you were affected.
MacBrock: Wander into the tower before the plague hits
Adler: Find Thompson, Burnside, and MacBrock.

Maybe some of my allies had retreated into the base of the scrying tower, either out of gluttony or cowardice, or perhaps like Burnside they knew about the Plague of Battles ...

0912empty.gif

I dashed down the stairs, but the room was empty.

Someone outside was screaming and beating on the door.

"Don't thou dare open that, Sire," the Ixies warned me.  "There is nothing outside but the Plague of Battles."

>Adler: You won! Sort of... Trapped in the city forever...
>Adler: Oh FUCK.
Adler, wait out the fog. Be disturbed by the sounds of battle and screaming.
>You have a lot to plan over for the future.

I shuddered as I tried to guess how long it would take for the cloud to subside and all of its victims to perish.  The Duchess hadn't given any particulars regarding the cloud duration .. but she had said the the battlefield would remain contaminated for a very long time .. and that was with her recommended use of a few drops on an arrow, not the entire phial!

Was I trapped in this tower indefinitely?  How would I survive??

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Unfortunately due to the nature of the Plague of Battles, it will be a very long time before we can know who perished and who escaped.
... if anyone escaped ...

>Duchess: Facepalm very heavily. He wasn't supposed to use it that way or that much!
>Adler: Perhaps the situation can be salvaged?
>... Anyone have a deck of cards?

>Wasn't there a secret door leading to underground tunnels in the tower? Use it to get to the city and warn people.

>Your pretty sure you didn't go into a battle-trance, somethings not right. There was also that arrow, who shot that arrow?
>Despite where you go you can not escape the screams, sleep is impossible!
>open the door

Couldn't you use Gramayre to command the winds to contain the plague of battle cloud ? At the very least while it won't go way, it'll keep it in one spot.

(I just want MacBrock to survive)

I've gotten the same feeling about Fifi.