letter to dad thread (now defunct)

gonna try to tap this out real fast because, eh,

first off- neighbor agreed to help me get to Target or whatev and shop for luggages when my moving-out plan solidifies, so that's good.

second, HAHA WOW

some of you probably heard about this thru me screaming on tumblr a while back but this is the topic where i immortalize these things

so i have 4 siblings. 3 on my moms side, one on my dads. my sibling on my dads side is, a gigantic soccer mom. except her daughter doesn't do soccer, she's a cheerleader, anyway
wow
super giant racist homophobe anti-gun-restrictions soccer mom who agrees with pretty much anything my dad says
last time she visited i realized she's one of those "don't fight hate with hate" people
meaning, if a priest says gay people deserved to be shot, that's just his right to free speech. but if people tell him that's a disgusting thing to say and that he should be ashamed, that's not free speech, that's spreading hate, and that's just as bad as a person shooting up a bunch of gay people.

i wish i was kidding.

next time i update the list in the first post i gotta add "is now a holocaust-denier" to it

updated the first post in this thread, sorted everything into categories and refined my to-do list a bit.

i have to go to a birthday party for my sister on dad's side later today, so i hope i don't have to add MORE to this thread tonight.

aAAHH HEY, HI THERE, PERSON WHO HAD A VERY SIMILAR EXPERIENCE HERE

My parents acted really similarly while I was growing up and eventually I developed this really "wow fuck all y'all" attitude and ran away to art school through brute force but that sounds like it isn't your style! My sister ran away similarly through a visit to her SO's place and then just kind of stayed there instead of coming home.

Is there any way for Gen to come to you and for you to leave with her? Or like any particular holiday or event that calls for you leaving the state and then just not coming back one day? That would be my strategy anyways- otherwise yeah squirling away possessions and money sounds like a good game plan right now ahh

I'm so sorry you're in this situation, you absolutely deserve not to be and I'm sending you good luck vibes!!!

Is there any way for Gen to come to you and for you to leave with her? Or like any particular holiday or event that calls for you leaving the state and then just not coming back one day? That would be my strategy anyways- otherwise yeah squirling away possessions and money sounds like a good game plan right now ahh

Ahhh! Thank you for the good vibes!!

Also, that's something we considered... Gen has said that she's willing, if things turn out this way, to come to where I live and we take turns driving to her place? Like. This is a trip between north Cali and New Mexico, this would be a really long drive, but we'd do this road trip plan if we had to.

short version of spoilered text: one of the main reasons we'd have to resort to a road trip is if my dad decided to get me a car, while his old car is still working.

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Spoiler
(One of the circumstances we've considered that would lead to this, is the possibility of me getting a car before moving, and wanting to take it with me. I can't drive yet, though my dad has been trying to teach me (i might be good enough to get my license by now, but sudden forward progress makes me hyper nervous) and he's been thinking about getting me a car for a long while now? I'm kinda hoping I can move out before he, i dunno, brings home a car out of nowhere like TIME TO DRIVE and then when i move he'll probably use my new car as guilt leverage)

also no, me and dad are hermits, we visit our families (who live a few cities away) like twice a year. We have no reason to leave the state, and I especially don't have a convenient reason to leave alone - except for what Gen suggested, which is "hey my friend in NM wants a roommate bc he's having trouble making rent, and this would be a good opportunity to try out living independently (heavily imply this would only last a year or so)"
which for the most part is true, so ;u;

when he buys you the car immediately drive away in it, never to return

if my dad buys me a car, and i'm proficient enough at driving to feel comfortable driving at night, i'm gonna get myself one of these



freedom, baby

Apparently pink coca cola is Cherry Vanilla flavored, so naturally I approve of this meal choice.

new job has been going well recently except it hasn't, i'm in a constant state of stress and my dad won't stop pushing me to find a new job ASAP. maybe it'd be a good idea, I don't know, but i've only held this one for a little under two months so maybe i can wait a little more.

anyway

oops hit the post button too early

ANYWAY sometime soon i need to tell dad I want to move out, but I need to figure out how to do it in a way that won't make him scream at me until I agree to stay with him, at which point this turns into an outright rescue operation.

So far the plan is "hey my friend wants me to try rooming with them for like a year, this will be a good way for me to build up my independence too" along with a bunch of (true) reasons relating to job opportunities and art meetups... I'm not super confident in this though, considering my severe communication issues, but so far it's the best plan I've got?

i like cacti.

kitet i recommend wheat's strategy, if your dad starts yelling, just show him a cactus. And that cactus will remain suspended in mid-air for as long as he keeps yelling.

awwww yeahhhhh booyyyyssss i am OUT, thread over

You did it!

*Celebratory Kazoo Noises*

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I can relate a bit too much to that situation you just backflipped out of.Some day soon, I'mma have saved up enough to Nope out of my living situation too, and get far away from my Biodad and the rest of the alt-righty, racist, antisemitic, anti-education, anti-medicine, Anarcho-Capitalist side of my family. I have had more than enough conversations where their contributions amount to how No One Can Be Trusted, and how Education Is Brainwashing, and how the poor or needy just aren't trying hard enough and deserve to suffer (which is especially absurd coming from a man who lived off his parent's good graces for most of his adult life), and how All [insert ethnicity/religion/queer identifier here]s Are Destroying Society, and how something something George Soros something Illuminati something something 9/11, etc. And jeezers, but am I well and truly done trying my damnedest to build bridges and come to a common understanding with their collective asses, while they gather around a statue of Alex Jones, chanting about how the world is going to hell, and dreaming of the day that they can destroy all government and society, and regress to the 'good old days' of some idealized cut-throat antisocial hunter-gatherer way of life, where we all live in isolation in the hills with our guns and gold bars, subsisting off our Endless Tins Of Disaster-Prepper Food until we starve because there's no more farms/factories/shipping companies making food for us, or die of easily-preventable diseases because whoops we disbelieved doctors out of existence".

So yeah, not only does this make me happy as hell for you, this shit gives me hope too. Here's to new starts in a new place!

I'm happy for you, you did it! I'm glad you didn't have to resort to using cacti.

Good luck friend.

You did it!

*Celebratory Kazoo Noises*

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I can relate a bit too much to that situation you just backflipped out of.Some day soon, I'mma have saved up enough to Nope out of my living situation too, and get far away from my Biodad and the rest of the alt-righty, racist, antisemitic, anti-education, anti-medicine, Anarcho-Capitalist side of my family. I have had more than enough conversations where their contributions amount to how No One Can Be Trusted, and how Education Is Brainwashing, and how the poor or needy just aren't trying hard enough and deserve to suffer (which is especially absurd coming from a man who lived off his parent's good graces for most of his adult life), and how All [insert ethnicity/religion/queer identifier here]s Are Destroying Society, and how something something George Soros something Illuminati something something 9/11, etc. And jeezers, but am I well and truly done trying my damnedest to build bridges and come to a common understanding with their collective asses, while they gather around a statue of Alex Jones, chanting about how the world is going to hell, and dreaming of the day that they can destroy all government and society, and regress to the 'good old days' of some idealized cut-throat antisocial hunter-gatherer way of life, where we all live in isolation in the hills with our guns and gold bars, subsisting off our Endless Tins Of Disaster-Prepper Food until we starve because there's no more farms/factories/shipping companies making food for us, or die of easily-preventable diseases because whoops we disbelieved doctors out of existence".

So yeah, not only does this make me happy as hell for you, this shit gives me hope too. Here's to new starts in a new place!

I honestly find it hard to believe that people like this actually exist.

I honestly find it hard to believe that people like this actually exist.

They do, and in my case, he considered himself left-leaning as his "opinion on gun control (that there shouldn't be any) was the only conservative view he had".

It's... really easy to hold those views and think you're right for doing so. It comes from a place of self-preservation, I think, but these people don't realize that they're trying to protect themselves from people who aren't hurting them.

ALSO THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! i appreciate the good vibes!
earlier in this thread I said I'd share how I got out of that bad house situation, so, here it is:

important prerequisite: my dad didn't make me pay rent while i was living with him, so, it was possible for me to save up money for the trip. I realize if your family takes your money to justify letting you stay with them, this might be tougher to do.

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Spoiler1. Have a plan of where to move to, preferably with a friend or partner you trust.
2. Try to get a job, any job, as long as it pays half-decently. I made this on a wage of 10-10.50 an hour.
3. As soon as you land the job, set a vague date for your flight/trip 6 months out. You can solidify the date later.
4. Work for at least a few months. Aim for 6 months, end up working 4 months because you're at a terribly-managed fast food job and it got unbearable after the third month. If you got a lot of hours because it's a fast food place that's trying to run on as few employees at a time as possible, you'll rack up 400-600 bucks per paycheck.
5. Now that you quit that garbage job and you have $fat stacks of cash$ on hand, uh... buy that dang ticket ASAP before it raises in price. Make sure you set the trip for a date that works for whoever you're moving in with, if applicable.
6. You bought the ticket, you should still have a lot of money on hand for shipping stuff ahead of time that you can't fit in your luggage. Make sure to pack nonessentials first, like, don't ship all your clothing and end up with no clothing for the next two months.
7. Keep shipping stuff until the date gets closer and you have to pack your essentials into your luggage and then realize you have to leave some stuff behind bc there's no space but whatever!!!!
8. Go on the trip! If it goes smoothly, then Mission Accomplished!

I hope this helps, I realize it's all obvious stuff though. :y

Congrats on ditching your bad dad!!

Gratz Kitet!! im so glad yer out!

Congratulations on getting out!!!

I'm glad this thread had a happy ending. Good luck, Kitet!