letter to dad thread (now defunct)

Show Content

Spoilerdisclaimer: i probably won't actually write a letter to my dad, so have fun.

i hate living with him, i hate talking to him, i want to get out of this house and possibly move to another state, and once i'm not tied to him any more, i want him to know exactly why.

suggested talking points:

regarding relatives

Show Content

regarding vaccination

Show Content

regarding the time he tried to hurt someone else's pet

Show Content

regarding emotional abuse

Show Content

regarding anti-semitism

Show Content

regarding ableism and distrust of doctors

Show Content

Spoiler

i mean this plays into the anti-vaxxer stuff i mentioned before, but his distrust of Big Pharma also extends to just, a distrust of EVERY DOCTOR EVER
he had a couple bad experiences with some therapists/psychiatrists who seemed to just want to get his money asap, so he's convinced all mental health specialists are con artists.
which leads to a fun story i have, about how this affected me! I'm going to tell this in chronological order of how i realized it.
when I was around 9 years old, my mom took me to a psychiatrist because i had really really bad social behaviors in school- actually, I ALWAYS did, up until 11th grade- so mom tried to do something about it. However, for some reason, we only went to this psychiatrist 2 or 3 times. This is all I remember about the experience.
At some point in the middle of 2015, I was having lunch with dad, and I was wondering about that old psychiatrist visit. I asked him if he remembered anything about it, and if there was any diagnosis. He said he didn't know anything about it, but, if they didn't medicate me (which they didn't), then there must be nothing wrong with me- and even if there was, ~medication would just be taking away what makes me unique~
later, i realized mom would know more than dad, since she was the one who took me to the psych in the first place- so I called her and asked her about it... and she had a different story to tell. She told me that the reason we stopped going to that psych was because they said they needed to run me through some IQ tests, and those tests cost more money than my mom could afford. She tried asking my dad for help, since he always had a lot more money than mom- and he refused, saying that it was a scam and a waste of time and money. He outright prevented me and mom from figuring out what my problem was.
so, he either forgot entirely about it, or he lied because he's in denial about me being neurodivergent.
mom always knew i was neurodivergent since i was a toddler, and dad knows she's tried other things to help me out- but the way he phrases it is "your mom tried to put you in a special ed school, but the teachers there realized you were smart and didn't belong there :)"

regarding what i will refer to as a "lack of parental responsibility"

Show Content

other ridiculous things

Show Content

other family members

Show Content

edit 1-31-17: The "getting out of here" checklist, revised

for reference, i'm absolutely trying to move in with gen.
One or two new luggages. (I have some at this house already but for reasons, I can't really use them)
I've packed up stuff I don't want to take with me, separating it into "just leave it at home" and "try to sell this during the next neighborhood yard sale, if possible"
I've already started shipping some stuff to gen ahead of time, trying to keep it subtle (using small boxes i can sneak out in a backpack, shipping things my dad wont immediately notice are gone)
eventually, i need to tell dad that i want to move out. this is going to 100% be the hardest part of this entire ordeal. I'm currently waiting until after I've had more job experience (1.5 months is absolutely not enough) before I tell him I want to leave, and if possible, I may have to try to convince him that it will be a temporary leave.
I'm trying to keep my relationship with my dad intact JUST in case things don't work out after I've moved and I need to go back. I'll hate it, it'll be painful, but I need to have that option.
If I absolutely need it, my neighbor agreed to help me. I also have some friends in socal who offered their help, though, they're not in a position where they CAN help, right now.