why do we need to study english?

Because,
Because, study is important.
Because we must study English.

because we want to speak English very well.
because you can speaking English
because, I like English.

Because we're useful in the future.
Because English is very difficult.
Because communicate with word people

I don't know.
なぜ英語を勉強する必要があるのですか
Ｉ　ｎｅｅｄ

Yes, I do.
Because I will communicates foreign people in the future.
We must communicate with many people.

How far is it from here to your house?

I don't understand.
I don't know
I have about 15km.

It's

It's 5 kill meters.
It's 5 years.
It's by car.

By bike.
It's thirty for by train.
It is ten time.

My house is 20time
My house is
I came to (what appears to be mode of transport, frantically erased)

I play game in the house.

This is beautiful and I want more.

you think their english is bad? wait till you hear my class's japanese! (this is their third year, and some still don't always remember the difference between です and ます.)

This isn't so much to show that my students' English is bad, so much as how this language they're trying to learn is bad. All it takes is a few letters misspelled or one particle misremembered to utterly change the meaning of the sentence into something absurd yet still with meaning.

These questions were asked as part of a set list the students practiced in class, where the "correct" strategy for the test is remembering and regurgitating the response you wrote and got vetted by the teacher in class (even if said answer is factually incorrect) rather than doing your best at expressing the actual answer.

As such, these lists only contain responses whose meaning became something amusing because of how finicky and easy-to-fuck-up English is, and do not comprise: correct answers, a dozen different misspellings of "kilometers", or best-intentioned word salad that ends up nonsense.

As an educator-aspirant I consider it truly shitty to laugh at any learner's mistakes, so three-and-a-bit years at this job has been a slow porcess of trying to figure out a balance. I think looking at the aggregate of errors like this is a pretty neat way to understand where in the specific my students struggle with the language, and what kind of mistakes they repeatedly make. It's like a taxonomy of goofs

(this is their third year, and some still don't always remember the difference between です and ます.)

A conversation across rooms:
"Hey sweetie, do you know what these kanji symbols mean?"

"What do they look like?"

"One is like, an upside-down two in quotes but the first quote is missing. Then there's a 't' with a curly-q at the end. And then there's a...powerline...on top of a hill and it's next to that curly 't' again."

And then she came in and explained it to me and...I'll be honest I kind of zoned out but from what I recall it was like..."That's not kanji. It's mas and des. Don't say 'des-ew'. That's a ten-ten. It has to do with past/present. I need to review it."

And...as she went on, I started to zone out and all that came to mind was nasa peepo. Which is where my brain pretty much universally goes to in the context of unexpected detailed new information.


My point is, the struggle is real, I'm routing for your kids Schaz.

How much does it cost to buy a CD?

I don't have CDs.
No, I don't.

I don't buy a CD.
I buy 1000 yen.

I don't know

I have CD cost is ten yen.
It does cost to buy a CD five handred

It's a CD cost, is twenty five money.
It's 30 cost.
It's 500.

It is 1000.
It's 1000 Darars.
It's $3000.

このＣＤはいくらですか
It's 10 yen.

What time did you get up this morning?

I got up

That we still live in an age where the above above lesson did not also require an impomptu explanation of what a CD is.

This isn't so much to show that my students' English is bad, so much as how this language they're trying to learn is bad.

Oh yeah, I'm not gonna disagree with that. Japanese is a much better language. It's so much more organized.

Except for kanji. So what if it's "an important cultural part of Japanese heritage"?! It's outdated, unorganized, ugly, confusing, and unnecessary. It's a stain on an otherwise near-perfect language.

It took me 4 years to wrap my head around English and by that time my grades were already so lousy I couldn't salvage my butt out of high school. So best of luck to your students.

My point is, the struggle is real, I'm routing for your kids Schaz.

I see what you did there

English is incredibly messy. Good luck to your students.

A standardized 草书, I wonder - would it be the most terrifying written language?

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If you were on TV, what would you talk about?

I would talk about the sports.
I would talk about my history.
I would talk about my friend.
I would talk about my favorite game.
I would talk about the weather report.
I would talk about the Abe government.
I would talk about the Trump government.
I would talk about the Pokemon.

If you had enough money, what would you buy?

I would buy a car and game.
I would buy many animals.
I would buy a big bed.
I would buy the world.

I would buy delicious sushi.
I would buy Naruto game.
I would buy a lathe and arc welder.
I would buy the Playstation company.

I would buy a lifetime supply of apple.
I would buy use it to help people.
I would buy enjoy life.

If you had a time machine, what time period would you travel to?

I would travel to the future, and I would see a robot.
I would travel to the future, and I would meet friends.
I would travel to the future and, I would take a picture.

I would travel to ten years later and I would see myself.

I would travel to the Sengoku period, and I would meet Date Masamune.
I would travel to the Edo Period, and I would learn fighting moves.
I would travel to the past, and I would be a samurai.

I would travel to the parallel world, and I would talk to aliens.
I would travel to the time I was two months old, and I would play tennis.

The previous three posts were brought to you by my 2M class (first half, 19 students) with my favorite teacher, learning Past subjunctive+second conditionals.

Heheh, that's cute.

If you had enough money, what would you buy?
...
I would buy use it to help people.
I would buy enjoy life.

;-;

I've learned English all the way over here and I didn't know what second conditionals were until now, also, wow

If you had enough money, what would you buy?
...
I would buy use it to help people.
I would buy enjoy life.

;-;

I've learned English all the way over here and I didn't know what second conditionals were until now, also, wow

That's ok! I never explicitly learned about them either, to the point I had to translate the Japanese name for them to find out what their deal is. It's one of those things you don't really think about how a language does it, so getting my students to understand you use this for "this isn't real, but if it were*..." was a fun challenge.

Also it's legitimately my favorite thing when a student wants to write something that doesn't quite fit the template I've given them. (They'll often think "oh I shouldn't write that then" and I'll be like "no! That's a wonderful idea let's write it down")


*I just realised after typing it that this is also past subjunctive, rip

It's kind of crazy how I do all these things instinctively but don't even realize it. Seeing your students learn it, and learning all these new terms, makes me realize how much more complicated English, and language in general, is than I thought. I didn't know what a second conditional was until now, or even that there was such a thing, but I knew exactly how to use it.

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If you had enough money, what would you buy? (Pt 2)

I would buy presents.
I would buy a girlfriend.
I would buy Trump Tower.

I would buy a supercar.
I would buy a car and ship.
I would buy a house and bike.
I would buy a house and Toyota car.
I would buy a Lexus and a puppy.

I would buy many cats.
I would buy a lion and two cats and two owls.
I would buy a cow.

I would buy clothes and shoes and bags and makeup.
I would buy at least three Master Balls.
I would buy a pillow shaped like a tiger.

And now, an discussion exercise for you, the readers:

Which of the following are grammatically incorrect and/or stylistically displeasing words to fill in Keep (subject optional) _________?

-alive
-warm
-cold
-beautiful
-quiet
-loud
-healthy
-rich
-full
-empty
-busy
-free
-happy
-sad