Chester Mafia Requiem: CHEST IN PEACE

One pelvic thrust, pause, sixteen pelvic thrusts.

You can't possibly be serious here! They're just snakes! Stupid, dirty, lazy, good for nothing snakes! I never wanted to hurt anyone! MrGuy's the one who broke my heart! It's all his fault! I'm sorry! I swear I don't know where the bodies came from, you have to believe me! I was just trying to respect the dead!

No. No no no no no NO NO NO NO NO! This can't be happening! I'm a Chester! I've always been a Chester! Stop saying I'm not!

<For a few seconds, all is silent, save for a light hissing coming from a nearby bush.>

Shut up! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! AAAAAAAAAAA!

> Charge at BTP and spray a good helping of Sore Throat Spray down his throat

Let's see you try and spread your hateful lies now, vile Snake-lover!

---

Oh, oh god, I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! If you let me live I promise to tell everyone who AgentBlue was, what do you say?

Glower at Coldblooded unflinchingly, continuing to point.

Well that explains that anyway
Not sure I can help you out there and honestly I can't really be bothered to try

Still... doomed as you all are, maybe I can spare one AP

> Use Snake Pheremones / Coldblooded

---

.

*sobs* Why? Why are you all so MEAN?!? All I ever wanted in life was to be one of you! To fit in and have friends! I dedicated my entire life to the pursuit of Chesterdom! Why wasn't that enough for you people? A Chester by any name should smell as sweet!

I can see you now for what you really are, a bunch of hateful, snake-loving bullies! You think you're so much better, just because your parents weren't a couple of new-age yuppies, turning you into a freak of nature by refusing to give you a decent name? Well you're not! I'm more of a Chester then any of you could ever hope to be, because I've had to work for it, every minute of every day of my entire life!

*sobs* I am a real Chester, I am. I am......

Spa buddies, I'm sorry....... I wasn't good enough......

> Drink the punch.

---

(Do you see now Mom? This is what happens when you refuse to follow proper naming conventions! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!)

I'm completely lost here.

I hope that was regular punch and not suicide punch
I don't think any of us actually existed prior to entering this camp so commiting suicide based on traumatic experiences from the past would be pretty silly

...although considering what might well happen if I don't get my act together, perhaps a mass suicide pact would be preferable to the alternatives

Punch: Punch

They are coming.

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

AUNTIE SCHAZER PLEASE ALLOW ME THE REFUGE OF YOUR GOLF CART

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
VOTE: SNAKETHEPENNOTCHESTEREVIL

Jachester where did you get that fortune cookie
I got one too

Oh hey did everybody get their Chinese food?

I'm guessing that guy unless he was just saying "did you get one too"

Let's hope everyone got one because we're going to need a lot of fortune
obligatory continued references to the fact that we're all doomed BLAST YOU PEOPLE WHY CAN'T YOU SEE OPEN YOUR EYES ALREADY

Elect: Quetzalcoatl

RAISE ARMS TO SKY, FALL TO KNEES, BOW, SLITHER AROUND.

Ruh-roh.

Offer to take on a cart-cruise: Sollie

Briefly point angrily at Wheat, then point angrily at Coldblooded again.

Lynch: Coldblooded
Elect: Quetzalcoatl, Savior of All and Bringer of Harmony Between Snake and Chester

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Also, GUY, you are INCORRECT.

Elect: Chestzalcoatl, TRUE Savior of All and Bringer of Harmony Between Snake and Chester

Smack hand against face, then nod vigorously.

Unelect: That dumb Mesoamerican fucker
Elect: Chestzalcoatl

Okay which of you DICKAPES* is FCKING UP OUR VOTES.

You really screwed me over last night and I AM GETTING SICK OF IT.

*DICKAPE is an APE made entirely of DICKS. It is a THREATENINGLY OFFENSIVE term and you should be APPALED if it was applied towards you.

oh god a majestic snake/Chester hybrid? Are you guys reading my fan fiction?

ELECT: Chestzalcoatl

SpoilerShow

Wow I am super excited about this snake-themed picture.

Oh hey, I completely missed the part where I got a fortune cookie, but I got one too.

So I guess we probably all did, and Schazer got a whole pile of them?

Check fortune, save actual cookie for later.

Overflow: Error

Read: Cookie fortune

>Eat Cookie to read fortune.

>Don't share with Wheat

Curl in foetal position: Corner

Eat: Fortune Cookie

Vote: CTP because I forget why, but I think he was mercilessly hounding a Chester.

That's right, a Chester by name is a Chester by any other means I think is worth mentioning.

If you don't like it, fucking fight me.

--The Pharmaceutceutceutceut

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=='Cold-blooded' Killer Offers To Divulge Information On Victim(s?) In Exchange For Life==

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