Boast Making Contest

My rules are the best at giving Ix conniptions!

My rules are the best at giving Ix conniptions like a inflatable tube man!!! Stan.

I am the very best
Like no one ever was
To catch them was my real test
To train them is my cause

I have traveled across the land
Searching far and wide
Taught Pokémon to understand
The power that's inside

Pokémon (Gotta catch 'em all), it's you and me
I know it's my destiny
(Pokémon!)
Ooh, you're my best friend
In a world we must defend
Pokémon (Gotta catch 'em all), a heart so true
Our courage has pulled us through
You tought me, and I taught you
Po-ké-mon
(Gotta catch 'em all!)
Gotta catch 'em all!
Pokémon!

a52 is my bae.

I'm given to understand that people have been claiming to have hair superior to mine. I cannot possibly let this slide.



Look on my locks, ye Mighty, and despair!

remember when i said it's on: it's on

My hair remains a source of envy to many. BUT YET, MY PRETTY LOCKS DON'T EARN ME A SINGLE PENNY!!!

When I was a young child, my fingernails were pink and weak; now, they are silver and double-plus strong! WHAT A COOL AND INTERESTING IMPROVEMENT!!!

This boast passes Rule 3!

I'm given to understand that people have been claiming to have hair superior to mine. I cannot possibly let this slide.



Look on my locks, ye Mighty, and despair!

This boast passes none of the rules!

oh its on

This isn't a boast! It passes Rule 5 though.

I'm so tough

I have dandruff

This boast passes Rules 4 and 5!

Many people are worse than me.

This boast passes rule 5.

bum, bum du dum!
ba-ba-ba bum da dum
du-du-du du du-du
du-du-du du du-du
du-du-du ba dum.

This non-boast passes Rules 4 and 5!

I EXIST! MY FACE IS LION-LIKE IN ITS SEXINESS!!! I AM VERY ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT BEING GOOD AND I WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO WITH A SMILE LIKE A SEXY GOD OF AWESOME! I DO LOADSA COOL THINGS, SO MANY COOL THINGS THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN COUNT THEM OF COURSE I CAN COUNT THEM BECAUSE NOT ONLY AM I SUPER SMART AND ABLE I AM ALSO A MOTHERFUCKING GENIUS! ME! ME! I WILL STOMP ON ANYBODY THAT DARES TO CHALLENGE MY TITLE AS I HAVE STOMPED ON PEOPLE BEFORE AND STOMPED ON PEOPLE ON MY WAY TO CHALLENGE THEM FOR THEIR TITLES! I AM SIMPLY SUPREME, LIKE KRISPY KREME! I HAVE THE FIRE AND I HAVE THE FORCE! AND I HAVE THE FURY OF MY OWN MOMENTUM! MY EXISTENCE TRANSCENDS TIME, I AM IN THE PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE SIMULTANEOUSLY!!! I AM SO REAL THAT ALL OF YOU ARE SO UNREAL TO ME THAT MY OWN DREAMS ARE YOUR REALITY! SERIOUSLY NOBODY CAN REALLY CONTEST WITH ME SINCE I AM ON A HIGHER PLANE OF REALITY FROM EVERYONE ELSE I AM JUST SO AHEAD OF THE CURVE THAT I AM AHEAD OF MYSELF AND MYSELF'S SELF!

I AM LITERALLY SO GREAT THAT I WAS THE FIRST TO PASS RULE 2 BEFORE CRIMSON MAGE DID! I AM THE SUPERIOR RAINBOW WIZARD! EAT MY SHORTS! THOUGH MOST OF MY PALS AND PEERS ARE PRETTY COOL FOLKS! PROBABLY SLIGHTLY HIGHER THAN ME BUT THEY AIN'T GOT NUTHIN' ON ME!
[line][/line] (how do I make a separatey line?)
Okay I think I'm done here. I am kinda proud of myself for literally being the first to pass rule 2 though, no lie.

This boast passes Rules 1, 2, 3, and 4!

My rules are the best at giving Ix conniptions!

This boast passes rules 1 and 5!

I am the very best
Like no one ever was
To catch them was my real test
To train them is my cause

I have traveled across the land
Searching far and wide
Taught Pokémon to understand
The power that's inside

Pokémon (Gotta catch 'em all), it's you and me
I know it's my destiny
(Pokémon!)
Ooh, you're my best friend
In a world we must defend
Pokémon (Gotta catch 'em all), a heart so true
Our courage has pulled us through
You tought me, and I taught you
Po-ké-mon
(Gotta catch 'em all!)
Gotta catch 'em all!
Pokémon!

This boast passes Rules 1 and 4!

a52 is my bae.

This boast passes rule 5!

I'm given to understand that people have been claiming to have hair superior to mine. I cannot possibly let this slide.



Look on my locks, ye Mighty, and despair!

remember when i said it's on: it's on

These are really good photos! I dunno if it's a boast but I guess technically it passes rule 4?

My hair remains a source of envy to many. BUT YET, MY PRETTY LOCKS DON'T EARN ME A SINGLE PENNY!!!

This boast passes rules 2, 3, 4, and 5!

And then, the winning boasts:

I am the best!!! When!? LITERALLY LIKE A GOD, CAN'T TAKE A REST.

This boast passes all the rules!

My rules are the best at giving Ix conniptions like a inflatable tube man!!! Stan.

This boast passes all the rules!

The rules for the boast making contest:

1. Must contain a superlative, like biggest, best, strongest, fastest. After some consideration I decided "most" counts as well.
2. Must contain a simile.
3. Must have at least one sentence ending in multiple exclamation points!!!
4. Must rhyme.
5. No quitter talk: You were not allowed to use the words "no" or "never", or use words which contained the same. I probably should've banned contractions like don't/can't, but I let btp's earlier post pass with such and figured I'd have to be consistent.

Thanks for playing!!!

Thank you, Mr. President.

oooooh

so that's what rule 5 was.

I was on to you, rules.

Thank you, Schaz, That was fun!

I'm not sure I have time to run a set a rules (can't take a rest, yo), so instead I'll use my winner's glory to enact the following:


Update: This is now Best Thanking contest. Whoever makes their set of rules next must do so under this new theme.

thank you [strike]ashley loather[/strike]

you're welcome

you're welcome

nice avatar