Destroy the Big Bad

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THe Huge Bad is big enough to destroy the roof, exposing DRACULA TO THE SUNLIGHT!!!

too bad.

neptune gets smaller

Charge: 89403826940573904900837

You can't have charged that much in a single turn.

I evolve Nincada into Shedinja, and equip it with the Giant Cape, giving it +20 HP. I play Professor's Letter, and search my deck for two grass energy, one of which I equip to Tropius. I shuffle my deck. Spearow uses peck again.

The Huge Bad would have taken damage, but you already used the attack on the fake boss.

I carefully reposition the cards, and put a Grass energy on Shedinja. I then play Lysandre, forcing you to retreat your active creature and put a different one in its place. I discard a fighting energy from Spearow to retreat it, and put Shedinja out. Shedinja uses Cursed Rain, dealing damage to every enemy, and Spearow is switched back in.

Cursed rain isn't a move.

Nuptune reaches singularity and explodes.

That's not how black holes work. Anyway Neptune is too far away


You choke and die.

Two
    Change


My customary bedtime reading book hastily shelved, I sat, bewildered, pondering Allanpoe's poetry.
"Something's wrong", I murmured. "Despite Ravenesque timbres, so mesmerizing (the echo

       'nevermore
        nevermore
        nevermore
        nevermore
        nevermore
        nevermore
        ...'

survives, for example), my intellect detects wrongful alteration. This imitation, simulated Raven!..."
I recognized large, arbitrary changes. "Odd", I thought. "Why?" To research, I headed downstairs, muttering softly, "Hmm".
I hastened below carefully, there revisiting my book room. Books inhabited each table, shelf, and nook. Taking Cambridge Literature Treasury and proceeding to "Poetry, Poe's", my fears - oh my God! - heightened. Sighting no Raven but The Dark Bird, severe distress arose. "Absolutely, The Raven is maimed!", I exclaimed. "How?!"
Immediately arriving upstairs, I posited a conspiracy: a literature alteration conspiracy. "Are," I did quietly question, "all writings changed?"

Charge 2

And trust me, I know what I'm charging.

Two
    Change


My customary bedtime reading book hastily shelved, I sat, bewildered, pondering Allanpoe's poetry.
"Something's wrong", I murmured. "Despite Ravenesque timbres, so mesmerizing (the echo

       'nevermore
        nevermore
        nevermore
        nevermore
        nevermore
        nevermore
        ...'

survives, for example), my intellect detects wrongful alteration. This imitation, simulated Raven!..."
I recognized large, arbitrary changes. "Odd", I thought. "Why?" To research, I headed downstairs, muttering softly, "Hmm".
I hastened below carefully, there revisiting my book room. Books inhabited each table, shelf, and nook. Taking Cambridge Literature Treasury and proceeding to "Poetry, Poe's", my fears - oh my God! - heightened. Sighting no Raven but The Dark Bird, severe distress arose. "Absolutely, The Raven is maimed!", I exclaimed. "How?!"
Immediately arriving upstairs, I posited a conspiracy: a literature alteration conspiracy. "Are," I did quietly question, "all writings changed?"

Charge 2

And trust me, I know what I'm charging.

Well good, because I sure don't!

Cursed Rain isn't a move

Cursed Rain isn't a move

You throw a card at the huge bad and it does nothing

I carefully reposition the cards, and put a Grass energy on Shedinja. I then play Lysandre, forcing you to retreat your active creature and put a different one in its place. I discard a fighting energy from Spearow to retreat it, and put Shedinja out. Shedinja uses Cursed Rain, dealing damage to every enemy, and Spearow is switched back in.

*Dracula looks through his cards*

"I believe we are playing two different games."

Nuptune reaches singularity and explodes.

*As Nuptune, the source of Dracula's magic, explodes, so does Dracula's dominant arm, causes [20] damage*

"JESUS CHRIST!!!!!"

Dracula' source of power is destroyed, he is weakened.


*You do that.*

"...nice scarf..."

THe Huge Bad is big enough to destroy the roof, exposing DRACULA TO THE SUNLIGHT!!!

*Dracula's flesh insistently begins to sizzle and pop, as quickly as vampirically possible, Dracula covers his face and body with his cape, causing [15] damage.*

"AH!! That burns you troglodyte!!!!"

*Dracula drains the blood from the Huge Big*

Dracula
57/100 HP
10/100 The Curse of Bus Fare
Magic: gone.

[CHARGE] The Big Bad charges up. If this ability is not cast, +N^2 ATK for 1 turn, where N is the number of consecutive times The Big Bad charged up.
[PASSIVE: RANDOM CRAP] Every round The Big Bad randomly reassigns the 6 stat points.
[PASSIVE: MULTIDEFENSE] In a round, the Nth attack on The Big Bad deals 1/N damage, rounded down.

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Three
    Of Carrolls


    Jabwocky

Slithy toves, borogove
  Gimbled there all out in strathwabe
Mimified and gyrified,
    A rath is outergrabe.

"Beware a scrunch, a scratch, stepson!
  Beware Jubjub, withstand a word!
Respect the Jabberwock and dread
    Manxomian songbird!"

He, sword off hand, placement maintained
  Thus to complete father's grand quest -
Then waited, vaunting showily
    His progenitor's crest.

Therewith three swords he animized,
  Before the creature, rumbling.
It was alive; its feelers straight
    Burbled while whiffling!

The vorpall sword o' vulcanite
  Smote - snicker! snacker! - artfully
A headless Wocky residue
    Yielded strength mournfully.

"Youth did it - O, praised fearlessness!"
  He issued melodies, forthright.
"Death's strike! O, day! Strallough! Stralleigh!" -
    A-chortling in delight.

Borogove, strange slithy troves,
  A brilligtime quickstep
Mimsy creatures, gimblified,
    Frolicked on a steppe.

Charge 3 as if you couldn't guess by the number on top

The huge bad stabs dravula with a stake

Dracula

I call over one of the hotel staff, flashing a pearly-gates smile as I make a tasteful but understated show of reaching for my wallet.

"Hey there, I say," and

"Good afternoon, I trust you're enjoying your stay?" say they. They seem to be having a genuinely good time at the prospect of helping a valued guest out, which I can respect in a hotelier's staffing decisions. I nod, the very picture of geniality (not genieality, unless my accommodations get forcibly adjusted to something smaller than their designated Ghost Lodgings. They're very nice, by the way, I'd wholeheartedly recommend you stop by for a spell if you're not on a real hurry to your afterlife.)

"Oh yes," say I, "It's been lovely. Sure, being effortlessly crushed by your roving establishment wasn't what I had in mind when I made a last-minute reservation, but in the longer run it's hardly inconvenienced me. The service has been great." I put down the daquiri glass in the universal gesture of 'let's realtalk', and my main man here adjusts his face to the perfect amount of concern. A true professional.

"I'm still getting used to all this post-mortem business. Got this insatiable craving for things being how they used to be, which was all of half a day ago, and generally getting my polter on with the furniture, but I'm sure I can worry about that after my vacation. I can't help but think, though-" and at this point, I gesture to the Big Bad as he gruesomely impales some vampire or another "-that's a right strange bit of scenery."

"I wouldn't dare to disagree," beams the hotel staff.

"At ease, buddy, I'm not one of those kind of guests who takes it out on the guy at the bottom of the heap. I'm simply curious. Doesn't really fit the Resort's decorum and wondered if there was some story behind it." I sigh with the delicate tones of a gale tearing open cemetery gates, and give him my credit card and a crisp twenty dollar bill for their trouble. "Would you fetch me another something or other? I'm feeling vermouthy, get the lady behind the bar to surprise me. Let me know if you learn anything!"

>Tell Dracula "Get on loser, we're going smashing."
>Run over Huge Bad w/ tricycle