regular man journey

you are a regular man in a perfectly reasonable, normal bedroom. A nice normal man like you deserves a name.

Normal.... man.....

>DOCTOR MISTER MAN MAN MCMANSON MAN THE THIRD SECOND JUNIOR SENIOR

heftpo

Your name is Len "heftpo" Barrison.

What will you do?

gu n window

go to the clothespin store

>the gun lifts itself up.

>"what the hell is a lee?"

>BANG

>gun: introduce yourself

>the gun lifts itself up.

>"what the hell is a lee?"

>BANG

>gun: introduce yourself

GUN IS MAN N OF CULTURG. he has many art in nventory. he wil. selll you art for hourg of laber.

gu n window

>the gun lifts itself up.

>"what the hell is a lee?"

>BANG

>gun: introduce yourself

This would be quite a difficult task, considering you are a merely a copy of THE POWER OF NONVIOLENCE by RICH GEG. While you currently lack the capability to lift yourself up or propel any kind of ammunition, you wonder what life could be like if, one day, you could.

label yourself hard working regular man [snip]

You turn around to your MACHINE WALL, and approach your MARK IV GENERAL PURPOSE MACHINE. Aiming the scanner gun at your own head, you pull the trigger and enter the combination required to produce a label.

Your label prints.


this is not a good sign.

[snip] go find someone labelled blood sucking liberal elite, you must fight to the death, with the appropriate labels

go to the clothespin store

You're not sure what a liberal is, but you're dtf. (down to fight). You head to the clothespin store.

You seem to have forgotten something important. You pull yourself up.
What will you do next?

Now what could we have... Ohhhhhhh. That.
>Put on some pants, then go outside look outside.

Now what could we have... Ohhhhhhh. That.
>Put on some pants, then go outside look outside.

put on a sack. brown sack. become sackman. use your power of pretty pstupid propulsion to power your way to the pin-of-clothes store.

Now what could we have... Ohhhhhhh. That.
>Put on some pants, then go outside look outside.

[snip]
put on a sack. brown sack. become sackman. use your power of pretty pstupid propulsion to power your way to the pin-of-clothes store.

You don't currently seem to own any pants, and your last good brown sack was used up for an emergency. You survey your normal, regular lodgings before looking outside.

Everything seems to be normal.
What next?

repeatedly suplex yourself, abusing physics glitches to fly over there.

take the floor with you as you leave.

repeatedly suplex yourself, abusing physics glitches to fly over there.

take the floor with you as you leave.

Your dreams are crushed by the thick insulated glass of your window, much like the bird that flew into it yesterday.

do it when you go out through the door doofus

rotate in place until the earths total rotation has slowed by approximately one second

Your TIME OFFSET increases by one.

do it when you go out through the door doofus

You don't think your suplex powers are good enough to bridge the gap. Are you sure you want to try?

wear the poster as an improptu skirt, then exit through the door

inspect snazzy man face image. inspect behind snazzy man face image.

inspect snazzy man face image. inspect behind snazzy man face image.

This poster is obviously more Sassy than Snazzy, you wouldn't let a fast one like that get by.

After removing the image, you see a staircase that you can't seem to recall having installed. On further introspection, you must have had it installed. How else would it get there? It's just a regular, perfectly normal staircase.

wear the poster as an improptu skirt, then exit through the door

As you don your new skirt, you hear a familiar sound. Your door has been locked. The building has entered lockdown.

You are cast into shadow as the alarm blares behind you.

>The stairs, they beckon. Time to zip, zap, and zoop right on outta here.

Enter the staircase

>The stairs, they beckon. Time to zip, zap, and zoop right on outta here.

Enter the staircase

You are now someone else. You hear a tapping at your framed portrait. You suppose you're expected to answer it, but first: you need a name.

Len "Heftpo" Barrison