The thread for flipping shits (and tables)

I fucked up
in about a month when I get the rest of my grades back I'll say how badly

Less than a week home and my dad and I are already at each other's throats, starting when yesterday he suggested I "get a tutor if I'm struggling" because I'm getting Bs in my major.

I really don't know what I expected.

My computer refuses to boot. Google tells me my hard drive is toast. I cannot afford to fix this problem.

Great.

(屮ﾟДﾟ)屮 Why I am so on edge? What is it about a good night’s sleep that makes me unhappier than even usual? Why does everyone have to freaking interrupt whatever I’m doing or saying? Where did these idiots get a license to drive and why hasn’t that entire DMV location been fired? Why didn’t I put this in all caps? щ(`Д´щ)

Yeah hi guys this is more like an as-we-speak ftfo b/c there is a giant, black, flying insect currently in my work area in the middle of the night. It clearly has a stinger. It entered through the vents, I have no idea how it even fit. It is the size of 2 pens put together and is making really loud "pat-pat" noises heard from the other side of the house as it thrashes on the walls and all over my notes goddamnit my noootes. I... I have found a CANE. It is roughly 90cm in length and is very dense. I cannot risk waking anyone up and I am currently in the safety of my bedroom. What should I do?

>_

Seriously two pens what
do you have some freakishly tiny pens over there or something because sticking these two on my desk on top of each other their combined length is slightly more than my forearm

are you sure this isn't actually some form of winged chitinous cat

Uh. Try and trap it, but not kill it. If it's THAT big, then it may be a new species and you might want to have the right sort of people look at it. Contact Animal Control, contact the government or some science company or something. Also the press. Explain the situation and take pictures.

Unfortunately, this was a serious suggestion. I'm not going to let skepticism get in the way of PROGRESS.

I assumed he meant "two pens side by side", as only a few bugs have such an extreme length-to-width ratio

That's still fucking huge.
Evacuate the room and go sleep somewhere else. Your best bet is a defense in depth. Plan a controlled retreat to let the invader lose control of previously held territory.

Or in practical terms: open your door, gtfo, wait for the damned thing to leave, get back inside and bunker down, name it Somebody Else's Problem.

So I misjudged your situation.
If you can find some thick rubber bands, those are my weapons of choice against arthopod intruders.
Alternatively, try to fence it with the cane. You may be able to stun it to the ground, at which point you can go for a shoe de gras.

HOLY FUCK I...

STABBED IT WITH THE CANE

IT'S STILL FLYING!

It must be a boss monster, have plenty of potions [caffeinated beverages] nearby and don't be afraid to spend some mp on magic [throw rocks/use squirtgun/brandish lighter]

Press the offensive! Most flying bugs can take a lot of hits in the air, since it's just being pushed around. This happens a lot when you bat flies out of the air. Keep stabbing it until you damage something delicate or it gets exhausted.

AFTER MANY HITS WITH MY DEATH-CANE

IT FELL FROM THE AIR

and FTFO'd while on its back. I turned on the radio for some victory music. Loud noises agitated it as soon as it calmed down and made it thrash on the ground more. It looked so adorable :3

SO I TRAPPED THE FUCKER IN MY WATER-BOTTLE

'course I had to cut off the top half because I needed as big an opening as possible. The only thing keeping this guy in is his exhaustion and a sheet of plastic. I don't think plastic is enough. I need titanium.

Will post pics and a video 'round 12-13 hours later. I'm showing this huge-ass mofo to my chem teacher. She has a sick mind so I can only imagine all the chemicals she's going to expose this little guy to.
I swear, no arthropods will be harmed, she's not that sick. She tortures her students surebut not animals.


aaaaaand now people are waking up :/ damnit. Oh well. Victory over huge invasive insects does not come without sacrifice.

Beating defenceless insects with a cane isn't nice .(

I hope you find out exactly what that bug is, so I can tell you everything cool about them and hope you feel suitably awful for being such a needlessly violent little troglodyte.

Seriously why do you feel the need to beat the crap out of a tiny, probably-harmless animal? If you read this and still decide to kill it with a bunch of horrible chemicals then I don't know what to say, other than for you to short your shit out.

I'm legitimately angry enough that I can't explain why your behaviour is so shitty. I'm frankly astounded that anyone could be proud of the attitude you're demonstrating.

I am very, very close to committing mass murder at a printers some time in the next week. They are the worst people i have ever tried to work with.

I hope you find out exactly what that bug is, so I can tell you everything cool about them and hope you feel suitably awful for being such a needlessly violent little troglodyte.

Seriously why do you feel the need to beat the crap out of a tiny, probably-harmless animal? If you read this and still decide to kill it with a bunch of horrible chemicals then I don't know what to say, other than for you to short your shit out.

I'm legitimately angry enough that I can't explain why your behaviour is so shitty. I'm frankly astounded that anyone could be proud of the attitude you're demonstrating.

-It's not actually going to die of chemicals, don't worry. My chem teacher isn't actually that irresponsible. Worst case scenario with her? She would take the guy home and start feeding it Best case scenario is, she actually considers giving it to the bio department-head who would add it to the collection of live insects they have. And with my name on the container
-It's not beating the crap out of a "poor defenceless animal" when it's clearly not defenceless. Also I have an intense fear of large, flying things with stingers as most would.
-I have proof of life, this guy is still kicking, don't worry.
-if I didn't capture him this way, I couldn't have captured it at all and thus render my work area a place I fear. I can't be scared of my work area, I kinda have lots of work on there with the computer that is also there
-If I simply left my work area COMPLETELY ALONE right after I made that post last page, one of my family members would have found it (as they have to pass through here before going to the kitchen) and beat it to death themselves.

I don't mean to be/sound like a troglodyte. I don't, really.

Bugs really don't have any defence against humans with big sticks, also the "stinger" could quite easily be an ovipositor.
Something being scary doesn't make it ok to kill it (yeah it's not dead but don't pretend you weren't going for that, if you've smashed it until it can't fly you've done some pretty nasty damage), especially if it's not even in the same room as you and people are trying to sleep.
You could have just opened a window or some doors and a window

Also catching a bug that big without damaging it first would've been a much more satisfying victory. Like catching a legendary pokemon with a pokeball in green health with no items final destination.

Well things seem to look much smaller when you've just had good sleep.

Woah... my mind made that thing bigger than it actually is. Lesson learned do not hunt down Pokémon bugs while sleep-deprived.

My friend identified it as a Hornet when I showed him the transparent container. Here is the bug, which is not as big as my mind had originally viewed it while videotaping 0_o I've measured it out and its width is 1.5cm and it is 6cm long; a quarter the size of two pens.

Here is the video.

SpoilerShow

Hornet

EDIT: VIDEO has been made Public!

Sorry! I thought you guys could watch it if you had the link :S

video is private
also
how do you hit a bug with a CANE you might as well slice apart butterflies with your broadsword what the heck

shame it wasnt a new species but congrats on your victory. also, is that a japanese giant hornet or something, because 6 cm is still pretty big for a hornet.

and don't let these people make you feel pity for that insect, japanese giant hornets are monsters. 40 people die every year from their stings (according to wikipedia). so, no way in hell is it defenseless.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_giant_hornet

Oh hey y'know what else it says on the Wikipedia page?

As the name implies it is endemic to the Japanese islands,

Endemic means it's found only in the given area, so fat chance you found something which crossed a whole damn ocean. Please stop scaremongering/condoning stupid violence.


I will not disagree that a hornet is an insect that is ok to kill, because even if it's not the biggest or nastiest of its kind necessarily it can be nasty when provoked. I still don't approve of the mentality where you cause the greatest possible pain before you finally kill it, though.

Really don't think we need to gang up on Credit here. He got freaked out by a bug and incapacitated it. He left it alive which is more than most people would have done. At 2 am, an unknown creature is threatening. The whole experience was unique and he wanted to share it here. He clearly respects that he got carried away with a joking implication of dousing his foe in chemicals, (which, looking at the timing of his posts, was said soon after he managed to contain an animal that had him frightened - at worst he just needed to curb his desire to post impulsively.) At best this is a discussion that we need to set aside, and we certainly don't need any more bashing (of people or insects).

It was a small, lost animal in a different room of the house to him. Which couldn't possibly have harmed him through a closed door.
That's no justification.