Godhood XIV - Usurper [Honey Edition Turn 3]

Nash-Marr doesn't like those odds, if only because he sees the sort of stage that the likes of Bacardi wouldn't accord a second glance.

The one on which they (men, women, gods) were players, and any play in which Nash-Marr stuck his face was bound to get self-referential - whether the players play actors, or whether the tale itself is of a thespian setting.

Nash-Marr sees the dramatic irony, solid as plywood scenery and as real as the imagination demands it. He doesn't need his future-seeing eye for that.

The only thing Nash-Marr likes less than the odds is the potential less-than-friendly attention of the guy spouting them. The godling just nods instead, cowed and not sure what to do from here on out.

If it makes you feel any better, Nash, the only reason he knew where to go back to the first time was me telling him about my adventures. While he could expect me to retrace my steps - most of my brothers basically reversed their paths, in fact - he could not possibly tell where I turned off. Each universe I visited had at least a hundred adjacent to it - the Multiverse is a maze, that most gods only know the path they travelled through.

And why do you think we have been collaborating so carefully on our creatures, anyway? It would be more efficient for me to just work alone and make a daisy chain of successively more lethal predators on a private deathworld. But ecosystems serve a purpose. They create an equilibrium. One creature is fed on by another. The wounds suffered by one species are passed along the web to be shared amongst all, and the status quo is maintained. And these "beasts" in turn keeps planetary conditions within their ranges even while it undergoes apocalyptic influences, for the sake of our mortals. Mortals, which are in times of trouble our weapon, our army. What we have done so far, we have done solely (SOLELY) to protect against lunatics like Break. We'll probably all be keeping an extra act or two in our pockets now. But trust us, young one, we know what we're doing. Well, I do anyway.

Oh, and Craft, I didn't have any particular plans for a parasite. I just thought you might want to create something that wasn't near the bottom of the web, for once. In retrospect, maybe I was projecting.

Do you still want to discuss diversifying Seriba?

Mia draws Alpha into her scroll and smiles.

You seem none the worse for wear after your ordeals if it means anything. If the brass cat comes knocking me Suki and Amelia will probably run away though.

And I would dare him to follow us. I would light up our path like a beacon, and if the god of destruction gives chase after a group of easy prey...

...than he will find himself in our home universe. I will melt him down in the great star Bovshinak, and use him to repair my form.

Or, we could NOT try to provoke the god of incredible power.

We handled Hevet, we can handle a cat.

"MAYBE HE'LL COME. MAYBE HE'LL WON'T. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, TIME SHOULD BE USED FOR PRAGMATIC PURPOSES LIKE SETTING UP SHOPS AND ESTABLISHING HOW AWESOME YOU ARE INSTEAD DILLY-DALLYING WORRYING THAT BRASS-ASSED DESCRUT-O-CAT IS GOING TO APPEAR AND KICK YOUR METAPHORICAL SANDCASTLE DOWN. I BET HIS PARENTS FIND HIM A COMPLETE AND UTTER DISAPPOINTMENT."

Bacardi zoned out for a couple of minutes.

"ANYWAY YEAH. ECOSYSTEMS. NETWORKS AND ALL THAT. GOTTA GET ALL THAT PHOTOSYNTHETIC ENERGY AND CARBON FLOWING. OPEN NEW NICHES LIKE NEW JOBS IN THE MARKET. SUPER IMPORTANT ESPECIALLY FOR DIVERSITY AND THE LACK OF BORING CREATURES."

Bacardi descended down and per-usual of his histrionic attitude, waved a dramatic-as-hell wing over the span of the Atrium. Suddenly, species of all shapes and sizes (well, only three anyway) went piff piff piff pfffffffffftttttt (the last one was a doozy) all over the gravity-defying floaty continents of scientific impossibility and philosophical headaches.

Bacardi looked at the crawling little creatures (well, little from his perspective) and pondered for a few minutes before deciding that Atrium could use some more shubbery and so he summoned a tree.

(-1) SALAMANDRAE have been created in the ATRIUM! They are like a dinosaurs in shape of a dog. Or a dog that has been formed from a dinosaur. Anyway, DINODOGS. They are hairless but covered in purty shiny scales that overlap like that of a pangolin. The scales reflect the colors of the sunset (or your favorite color of choice). They can think but you CANNOT EXACTLY TEACH A DINODOG CALCULUS - especially if they are NOT SAPIENT. They are CARNIVORES. They tend to be SOLITARY HUNTERS but do CONGREGATE IN GROUPS if they are super bored or whatever. Their reproduction is super boring and not worthy of note.

(-1) SARASWATI have been created in the ATRIUM! Imagine a red DEER-LIKE creature. Totally normal with hooves (for walking) and horns (for making others of their kind feel masculinely inadequate). They are as SMART as a HOOVED HERBIVORE because that is exactly what they are. They come in three pattern: striped, spotty, and lame-old-solid-colored. They are MONOGENDERED and they REPRODUCE RATHER QUICKLY. Their way of SEXY-TIMES is SHOWING OFF THEIR HORNS to another; the loser (that is the one that feels the shame of how puny their horns are) spontaneously becomes pregnant with the more impressively horned fella's child.

(-1) SLYPHIDS have been created in the ATRIUM! They are very pretty BIRDS with pretty songs that sound like babbling brooks and pretty wings that sparkle like sunlight on the waters. Unfortunately, they are rather BIRD-BRAINED (meaning they are as smart as a BIRDS). They tend to flock in large groups (like BIRDS). They also poop a lot (like BIRDS). They are OMNIVORES but prefer to eat CORPSES and PLANTS. Their reproduction is very boring (like actual BIRDS).

(-1) LUPULUS have been created in the ATRIUM! They are tall and woody because they are TREES. They produce TINY EDIBLE FLOWERS (which smell and taste faintly of REALLY DAMN GOOD BEER). They are SUPER-LEAFY (they have a lot of leaves) and EVERGREEN despite violating ten different types of PLANT-LAWS. They come in MANY SHADES OF COLORS - GREEN, PURPLE, BLUE, RED, ETC. YOUR CHOICE.

Your offer is appreciated, but I don't like parasites, in all honesty. They usually are just pests, not useful to the system at all. I prefer to manage the little things, at the base of the chain - Bacardi - what are those deer-creatures doing? Are they - uh. Um.

Craft joins those disturbed by the Ethanol Engineering. Hey, at least he's focusing on that instead of angsting any more.

Kahtrak, uh, um, might it be better if we - um, rather than boning *Click* HAHAHA WHOOPS *click* I mean rather than boring the others with endless debate and discussion, should we... perhaps... move somewhere else to discuss this, and maybe, uh, surprise them with the results?

Craft moves away from the group and developed area to plan with Kahtrak privately. It is far enough that general speech can't be heard, but close enough that yells - and Bacardi whispers - can still be heard clearly.

Kahtrak follows, and the two begin confiding.

mumblewhisperhow manywhisperwhisper notwhisperwhisper going towhisperwhisperwhisperwhisperwhisperterrestriallywhispergenerations of moss whispercoughwhisperwhispersuccessfullywhisperwhisperwell protectedwhisperwhisperwhisperwhisperinevitablywhisperwhisperwhisperwhispereither waywhisperflammablewhisperwhisperwhisperwhisperboom and bustwhisperideal ifwhisperwhisper

rhubarbrhubarb. rhubarbrhubarb burrowing group rhubarbrhubarbrhubarbrhubarb heavy, after all rhubarbrhubarbrhubarb that far? rhubarbrhubarbrhubarb wards off Boledroms? something flammable rhubarbrhubarb unpalatable rhubarbrhubarbrhubarb. rhubarbrhubarbrhubarbrhubarb, well, that sounds rhubarbrhubarbrhubarbrhubarb. rhubarbrhubarb expanding rhubarbrhubarbrhubarbrhubarbrhubarbni-cetacea really well thererhubarbrhubarbrhubarb focus on rhubarbrhubarbrhubarb processing creatures.

{HONEY EDITION #2}

The Glass Mallet begins the age by improving conditions on Seriba. He begins by thickening the atmosphere and oceans, and then, with three mighty blows, creates three new life forms in Seriba’s Scar; seven petaled flowers, six winged butterflies, and behorned bunnies.

With a splatter of ink, the Literary Lady scatters fertile asteroids about the Atrium and is greeted by the Self-Proclaimed Artisan.

The Wavering Whelp introduces an element of inspiration into the universe; a glittering crystal moon. It catches the emerald beams of Esmeralda and releases them into Seriba’s night. To live under that glittering moon and keep the Wolperams in check, the Eternal Smith crafts a leaping ambusher that crushes its prey.

The Three Sisters strengthened the Atrium’s river and set a functioning weather cycle into motion on its odd geometries. The Perpetually Shouting God joined asteroids of both the fertile and metal rich varieties together into vast continents, and rent some exceedingly awesome mountains into existence. Then, around the base of the loftiest mountain, he scattered water-like flowers and rose-capped grains.

The Elemental Sister becomes acquainted with the Clearly Science God, and later, with The Tiny Artisan. The Progressive Poet meditates on missed opportunities and rainbow dragons. In an asteroid cluster now named Philomela’s Nest, he brings forth the melodious Lygiswyrms, to the delight of all but those with pinched bottoms.

The Oracular Hound asks the Cavern-Bound what inspiration he has gleaned from the most tragic of missed opportunities. The Divinity of Curiosity, in response, creates slightly intelligent, burrowing beasts, fated by divine curiosity to uncover the fossils of false history, and all treasures that exist beneath the ground. For sustenance, he creates Moontubers and glowing truffles.

The Miniscule Mantis apologizes for any unintended offense given to the Molestation Machine, but gently requests that he refrain from making sizist remarks in the future. The Beast of Liquid Therapy requests to hear the tale behind the trauma, and as the Divinities gather, the tale is told, and recorded:

Craft was one of twenty three
Mortals raised to divinity
Crafted by A to B through Z,
But two were missing, don’t you see?

Firstborn Break, the Brass Cat
Ran away, and that was that,
Or so believed our divine sprat.
Not ‘till his hundredth ‘verse did they chat.

Craft believed they had a pact
To build together, when in fact,
Once he used his very last Act;
The universe, Break did hijack.

Break decided to revamp;
On Act gains he put a clamp--
And ruder still, that little scamp
Sealed his brother in a lamp.

Again and again spread misery
And held seven in captivity
Until ‘verse two one three,
When of Break, they broke free.

The Conversationalist prods for additional details, which are provided and added to the record she has made. The Newt of Memory proposes to immortalize the tale for mortals. The God of the Vibrating Chord engages the Lamp’s Light in a discussion about parasites, likely attempting to keep him from brooding on the dark subject that has been broached. The Divinity of Science carries on much as before.

He Who Sees Across Time recognizes the danger of this plot hook, but his concerns are dismissed as improbable by his peers--and as they do so they settle, one by one, into the vague outlines of an old pattern, one that lies beneath many a tale.

The Banner-Winged One added diversity to the life in the Atrium in the form of three new creatures and a flowering evergreen. Team HammerSmith retreat to continue their discussion in private.

***

Coronis continues to shape itself, slowly. A plate slips up on another, the beginning of a mountain range. Magma forms domes which merely cool, for now.

In Esmeralda’s Atrium, populations begin to show slight imbalances. While the Sylphids are not picky, the Salamandrae are not eating the adult Lygiswyrms, and cannot reach the tender, asteroid-dwelling babies. The Sylphid and Lygiswyrm populations swell without effective predators, but it’s not nearly a problem yet. The Saraswati and Salamandrae’s populations seem stable, but the Salamandrae themselves seem to have drastically shrunk, over the generations. They have taken to hunting in packs to take down the larger Saraswati.

Some Lygiswyrms have begun to incorporate the sounds of their fellow residents into their songs--they seem especially fond of the Sylphid’s bubbling voice.

On Seriba, the young species settle in. Mountain’s Luck predominates the landscape, while the glowing truffles hide below. The Moontubers seem to mainly grow on the tops of plateaus, or near the long coastal plains, where they can capture the full light of sun and moon.

The Moontubers are a staple of the Ursine Beasts’ diet, being easier to locate for harvest than the glowing truffles. However, they are most vulnerable when they venture above the ground, where the Boledroms wait to leap. Some Beasts decide to minimize the risk by subsisting solely on the Glowing Truffles, though they still must surface to find water; most Beasts instead begin to stockpile the Moontuber spuds in their burrows, even with the risk .

On occasion, as they dug in search of the elusive truffles, the Truffle eating Beasts would dig into Spud eating Beast’s burrow. If it was occupied, they would be swiftly chased out, of course, but on occasion, they encountered a burrow whose owner had run afoul of a Boledrom. When this fortuitous event occurred, they would use the burrow as a stockroom for the Truffles they found while living well on the Moontubers. Some, having found particularly large caches, discovered that with the light from the Glowing Truffles and sufficient time, the Moontuber spuds would begin to sprout. With water, they would keep growing.

The Truffle-grown spuds were much smaller, and the grown plants less healthy, but it was a start.

The Energy of New Beginnings provides everyone with four acts.

The Energy of New Beginnings fades slightly.

Acts

Nash-Marr: 2+7=9

Suki, Mia, Amelia: 4+7=11

Craft: 0+7=7

Olmolm: 1+6=7

Kahtrak: 0+6=6

Bacardi Clear: 0+6=6

Lord Rack: 0+6=6

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Universal Reference Sheet

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Cosmic Constructs

Esmeralda: A large sun that radiates intense heat and light. It shines in a lovely shade of green.

Coronis: “Esmeralda’s Crown” A small planetoid in a shaky orbit around Esmeralda. Has an extremely active molten core. Has a small mountain ridge and a volcanic domes. Currently the closest planet to the sun. Temperatures range from practically on fire to actually on fire.

Esmeralda’s Atrium: Three mountainous continents of areas both mineral rich and fertile; interspersed with clusters of asteroids bereft of soil but rich in metals. suspended in a stable ring of nebulous gas, mist, dust, and dark matter. A river runs through the ring, connecting all of the continents and several of the asteroids, and providing water for the water cycle. The asteroid clusters are mostly of the metal rich and soil poor variety, containing common metals as well as large nuggets of valuable, high purity metals near their centers. [Listed: Gold, Platinum, Titanium] The temperatures range from temperate to tropical. Has sapient life.

Seriba: An average sized planet with a molten core and an average atmosphere. It contains an average seeding of both precious and common minerals, readily available veins of copper, and good amounts of fossil fuels. Temperatures range from cold to warm. Has impressive geography. Two thirds of the surface are covered in water or ice. Further from Esmeralda than the Atrium. Has a significantly longer orbital year than standard, but a roughly average seasonal year. Has life.

Seriba’s Crystal Moon: The gem of the night sky. It’s slightly uneven facets catch and reflect the light of Esmeralda across Seriba’s surface. The hollow center allows even more light to be caught, the light refracts into beams of each individual shade of green.

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”Locational Constructs”

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”Esmeralda’s Atrium”

Bacardi’s Peak: The highest peak of the Awesome Mountains, the chain which spans the three continents of the Atrium.

Philomela’s Nest: The ancestral birthing grounds of the Lygiswyrm. A collection of the metal-rich asteroids that are not connected by the river, and thus “floating” in the atmosphere.

Erzahlung: Beautiful flowers that appear as though they were made out of water. Grow on the Atrium’s continents. Eaten by Sylphids and Saraswati.

Kabouter: Fast growing cereal grains with red caps. Grow on the Atrium’s continents.

Lupulus: Evergreen trees that produce tiny, edible flowers that hint of alcohol. They come in a variety of colors, and grow on the continents of Atrium. Eaten by Sylphids

Salamandrae: Small, carnivorous dinodogs with reflective, overlapping scales. They hunt in packs. Sparsely distributed on the continents of Atrium.

Saraswati: Horned, monogendered deer-like creatures. [For one act more they can reproduce magically via shame] They are red and come in three patterns: striped, spotted, and solid. They reproduce quickly. They live on the continents of Atrium and eat Erzahlung and Kabouter.

Sylphids: Flocking birds with sparkling wings and pretty voices. They are omnivores who prefer to eat corpses and plants. They roost everywhere on Atrium.

Lygiswyrms: Sapient space worms with an instinctual attraction to song. Atmospheric filter feeders. Easy prey, r-strategy reproduction, mono-gendered. Mostly solitary, with a rudimentary culture based around musical exchanges.

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”Seriba”

False Fossil Record: Real bones of fake dinosaurbears and dire shelled beasts are hidden beneath the ground. They will cause future paleontologists to believe that the world is older than it truly is.

Seriba’s Scar: A continent of chasms and cliffs and valleys-- the result of Nash-Marr gouging the surface.

Mountain’s Luck: A seven petaled flower that thrives in the cool valleys of Seriba’s Scar. It comes in many colors. Pollinated by Snowflake Butterflies. Eaten by Wolperams.

Moontubers: Potatoes that resemble the Crystal Moon. Eaten by Ursine Beasts and occasionally by Wolperams.

Glowing Truffles: Phosphorescent fungi. Eaten by Ursine Beasts.

Snowflake Butterflies: Colorful, 7 centimeter butterflies with six wings. Each butterfly has a unique, monochromatic pattern. They drink the nectar of Mountain’s Luck. Located in Seriba’s Scar. Eaten by young Boledroms.

Wolperams: Brown rabbits with ram’s horns. Burrow dwelling creatures that eat Mountain’s Luck, and occasionally Moontubers. Located in Seriba’s Scar. Eaten by adult Boledroms.

Boledroms: Mid-sized ambush predators that move in great leaps, and hunt by crushing their prey. They eat Wolperams, Ursine Beasts, and Snowflake Butterflies.

Ursine Beasts: Slightly intelligent, burrowing beasts with an urge to uncover the underground. Created to match up with the bones of the fake dinosaurbears. They eat Moontubers and Glowing Truffles.

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”Cultural Constructs”

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”Lygiswyrms”

Philomela’s Nest: Fertilized Lygiswyrms return to their ancestral breeding grounds roughly one every three earth-years to give birth to a thousand babies.

Sexy Singing: Lygiswyrms are primarily attracted to each other based on the beauty and complexity of their singing.

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”Ursine Beasts”

Delve Deep: The Beasts have a strong desire to uncover things that lie beneath the ground.

Underground Farming: Using Glowing Truffles as a light source.

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Metaphysical Constructs

Energy of New Beginnings: The birth of a universe empowers all divinities with a certain amount of creative potential! The number of acts received from this event decrease each turn, so be sure to establish something under your spheres before it's completely gone.

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Divine Concerns:

The Tale of Break, Demon of the Red Text: Told by Craft, transcribed by Mia.

"YES GOOD WONDERFUL.

EVERYTHING IS ACCORDING TO PLAN."

Nash-Marr pricks up his ears, rubs tiredly at his not-eye again, looks down at his paw and licks ineffectually at the ink on his fingers. He grimaces, and excuses himself from the other gods and takes a stroll on Serbia's flatlands.

These little flowers are nice, he supposes, but they're not nearly the same as grasslands under moonlight. He scratches at his blind side again, flecking blacker-than-black on the plain. A red savannah-like grass springs up where he leaps and bounds across Seriba's plains, black under the greenish light of Nash-Marr's moon. The Rhode is wind-pollinated, spreads quickly, is capable of hybridising with similar grasses, has palatable if tiny grain-like seedheads, and is intolerant of consistently low temperatures and salt air.

As he runs to the coast, Rhode seeds catch in his fur, and he shakes them off and lets them grow there. The second grass he calls Sebright - it has a subtle silver sheen, spreads slower than Rhode, is also wind-pollinated and capable of hybridising, and has larger seedheads with tougher husks and barbs to catch on fur and feather. It cannot survive frost or freezing, coexists with Rhode in coastal regions, but outcompetes it nearer the sea. Grasslands dominated by Sebright make "shimmering" noises as the tougher blades of grass collide in a sea breeze.

Nash-Marr makes Rhode, the red grass of the plains, and distributes in several suitable patches across the planet. -2 acts

He makes Sebright, the silver grass of the coast, and distributes it in smaller clumps but more widely as it will spread slower. -2 acts

Nash-Marr doesn't think too hard about the nature of these things, borrowing and romanticising instead from what he remembers of plants in his homeland. Under the moonlight, the meadows are a sussuration in darkness and the faintest verdigris, the land chequerboarded and in motion than sparse and still and dotted only with flowers. He howls with delight, for a moment not caring if the others hear him.

It's been a long time since I've seen grass! And such wonderful specimens too.

Hmmm. Perhaps that would be better than what I had in mind. Grass has it's flaws, but it's ability to recover from fires is nothing short of amazing.

May I make some small changes to the silver strain, on the beach there? It would not alter their... romantic aspects at all.

Grass...

Craft shakes his head.

How often do gods forget something so simple? And so impressive... You have a talent for this, Newborn.

Olmolm looked upon Seriba, and found it wonderful. Or rather, found that many a motion has been hidden by the earth's crust. Good, good. However, these gigantic beasts absolutely pose a threat to civilisation.

Olmolm creates a prolific species of Alternative Marmots, known for their song that changes everyday. And also because they are an alternative food source for the big behemoths. They eat delicious grass. [-2 acts]

Now the burrowers fear will be eased a little. Just a little, but it is a step in the right direction.

Olmolm, I notice that the boledroms are giving your disciples some trouble. I know, they are rather aggressive. Sorry about that. It was intentional, so the sentients would eventually be obligated to keep them in check. Tops off the food chain rather nicely.

Remember, with such an absurd hunting method, they’re not really that hard to kill. Spears would do it. You don't even need to be skilled. Just stick one end in the ground and walk away.

Kahtrak remembers something.

Wait, didn't you want these creatures to dig downward? Surely a perilous surface world is condusive to that kind of behavior.

"SO...I HAVE AN IDEA."

"I do not wish to kill the boledroms. I merely want to distract them. Nor do I wish to have these creatures live deeper. I wish them to sometimes venture into the depths, seeking treasure, not to live in there. I intended them to live on the surface originally." He scratches his chin. "Yet, I enjoy the way turned out. People of the shallowest burrows might be better than the ones who walk on the soil."

He turns his gaze towards the loudest of all. "And what that idea might be, oh, metal one?"

"LIKE HONESTLY WE ARE GODS OF THIS UNIVERSE. RIGHT? AREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO BE BUILDING TOGETHER. RIGHT? BUT WE JUST TECHNICALLY SPLIT INTO TWO TEAMS BUILDING ON TWO SEPARATE PLANETS. SO STIFLING. SO UN-PROGRESSIVE. SO...BORING. YES. INDEED. THIS IS A REALLY BORING PARTY. I AM NOT PLEASED BUT WHAT CAN I SAY, SOME OF OUR GODS ARE...SHALL WE SAY. INTROVERTED. SO I AM PROPOSING AN ICEBREAKER. WHAT IF..."

Bacardi made waving motions with his hands in such a way it was slightly nauseating (kind of like a HANGOVER, AMIRITE???).

"...WE JOINED OUR TWO PROJECTS TOGETHER. A JOINT-COLLABORATION?"

This should be good.

It was rather hard to tell if Suki was trying to sound sarcastic.

"I KNOW RIGHT???*"

*

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Spoiler(oh by the way did I mention you are on fire because damn gurl, you are hot)

And... how exactly do you propose we do that?

I'm really worried he's going to say

BY SMASHING THEM TOGETHER

or something.

Wait, what other...

Kahtrak has been so intent on perfecting his world of choice that he had not noticed the activities of the other gods.

Is that thing held together by pixie dust?! And you can hardly call the ecosystem a...

He sighs, realizing that things certainly aren't going to change because he loses his temper. Nonetheless, he already longs for the blissful oblivion of not knowing that his tender cradle of life is just one "party" away from asteroid armageddon.

Fine. Maybe. And obviously that is conditional on me being wrong about the smashing part.



I already had plans.

Kahtrak glances at Suki.

"ITS RATHER EASY AND QUITE SIMPLE. EVERYONE WOULD BENEFIT FROM THIS COLLABORATIVE ENHANCEMENT AND NO ONE WOULD ABSOLUTELY GET HURT. HOWEVER, FIRST I NEED TO WAIT UNTIL THE RIIIIIIIIIGHT MOMENT FOR THIS. IT'S MORE DRAMATIC AND AWESOME THAT WAY. THE STUFF OF LEGENDS YOU KNOW?"

...



Well, then I'd just like to point out that if you are planning some sort of rift and not a game of galactic billiards, that inter-world portals are ecologically hazardous in the extreme, so it would be nice if you could wait a bit for everyone to have their ecosystems complete first.

"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH KAHTRAK BABY HONEY." Bacardi whispers into Predator-God's ear-hole as he reaches around and pinches Kahtrak's supple scaly posterior. It is so firm and divine and full of saturated fats. Kind of like a pound cake. "IT WILL NOT HARM YOUR LITTLE ECOLOGICAL HIERARCHY. NEITHER WOULD IT BE AN INCREDIBLY DIVINEXPENSIVE REENACTMENT OF NEWTON'S CRADLE. IT WILL BE GRAND. IT WILL BE GLORIOOOOOOOUS. IT WILL BE BETTER FOR EVERYONE AS A WHOLE."

Bacardi reaches closer. His voice like a hiss of steam.

"YOU WILL FIND IT....PERFEEEEEEEEEEEECTTTTT."