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typeandkey · 12-02-2019, 03:44 AM

>Adler: The Vulpitanians have magic that can change lineage, which is terrifying, and can change elves to lowfolk and lowfolk to elves. If you can get a hold of it, you can change Rowan's lineage so she is elven nobility!
>Sam: The vulpitanians surely would have destroyed all evidence of the project in Albric Tor and everything that's left of it would be kept under heavy lock and key in the deepest vault of the Vulpitanian capital.
>Estvan: Not to mention that kind of magic is MONSTROUSLY UNSEELIE!
>Adler: Internally scoff at Estvan's comments on unseeliness. Hmmm... The lock and key thing would be a big obstacle though. *BING* Idea! The trees that are keeping you imprisoned are bound to Rowan. If you can get her to pledge the trees into your service, you can press gang them into your militia against their will forcing them to fight to the death for you and punishing them for crossing you like the filth they are! As a reward you can give Rowan a lofty position of command similar to She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named before her. That's a "real job" that comes with a title.

El Santo · 12-02-2019, 03:45 AM

Adler: Well this is an easy task you think to yourself, explain that "Rowan here could be an in with local lowfolk nobility and that her father has wealth and influence in the region, which will help us to expand our influence and be a thorn in the side of the O'Daisies.
Estvaan: That is actually a decent plan and you are going to require a lot of capital to help expand influence, and you'll need a standing army. Suggest press ganging drunken lowfolk men into a mercenary regiment at local taverns.
Rowan: You'll be rich beyond your wildest dreams! Think of what you could do with all that money, you'll be unstoppable and hey you'll have a cute elf husband.
Sam: Pinch your forehead in annoyance, "Gun your jumping, you are"

tegerioreo · 12-05-2019, 03:48 AM

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Quote:>Adler: The Vulpitanians have magic that can change lineage, which is terrifying, and can change elves to lowfolk and lowfolk to elves. If you can get a hold of it, you can change Rowan's lineage so she is elven nobility!
>Sam: The vulpitanians surely would have destroyed all evidence of the project in Albric Tor and everything that's left of it would be kept under heavy lock and key in the deepest vault of the Vulpitanian capital.
>Estvan: Not to mention that kind of magic is MONSTROUSLY UNSEELIE!

1204nochance.gif

"Sam," I beseeched. "Do you know anything about Rotnev Nidab's chronothaumaturgical research? He had a way of changing people's lineage, which turned Estmere into a lowfolk and made him ineligible to be King. If we could use a similar technique to turn Rowan into an elfin noblefemme..."

"Destroyed every trace of it, the Ministry would have," Sam replied. "Buried in the deepest vault, any remaining evidence would be. Besides, through the Ferifax Arch his mother went, so half lowfolk Estmere already was. Otherwise, work the process most likely would not."

"Plus, it's monstrously Unseelie, tis," Estvan piped up.

"So?" I retorted. "Does that mean we shouldn't even consider it?"

"Aye, lad. It does. Besoides, as oi recall, they had to use quoite a bit o' kit to work that spell. Sure an' where are ye gonna get the materials?"

"Can't you and Sam get them for me?" I postulated.

The two foxes stared at me for a moment.

"Write off this plan, you must," Sam sighed. "Change the femme's nature, you cannot. Leave this circle, you also cannot."

Quote:>Rowan: Your father is very, very wealthy. What can mere magic do against the power of money?
>Rowan: Your dad will hire men to uproot the entire stone circle and plant it on the backyard of your family mansion!
Adler: Well this is an easy task you think to yourself, explain that "Rowan here could be an in with local lowfolk nobility and that her father has wealth and influence in the region, which will help us to expand our influence and be a thorn in the side of the O'Daisies.

"My father is rich!" Rowan interjected. "He could hire a crew to dig up these stones and move them to the backyard of our mansion!"

"Work, not sure that would," Sam muttered.

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"WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE," Estvan gekkered suddenly. "Blarney, lass! Sure an weren't ye tellin' us a moment ago that yer family was skint an' busted, fallen on hard toimes?"

Quote:Rowan: You'll be rich beyond your wildest dreams! Think of what you could do with all that money, you'll be unstoppable and hey you'll have a cute elf husband.

"Right, I did," Rowan floundered. "He used to be rich, see, and I keep forgetting that he isn't anymore, now that the family business has failed."

"An furthermore," Estvan continued suspiciously. "Did ye not say that ye were involved in a wee bit of a scandal, an that yer parents had disowned ye?"

"Well yes, but, uh .. only until such time as I got a Real Job. I'm sure if His Highness Lord Randy or whatever could give me just a little sack of gold to take home .. just as a surety and a token of his intention, you see .. if I showed that to Daddy and told him I had a genuine royal elf for a suitor he'd be sure to take me back in, and - OOPS!"

Suddenly, somehow, the knot holding Rowan's skirt together came undone. She quickly twisted herself around to catch it before it fell.

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"OH GOODNESS!" she giggled with evident embarrassment as she re-tied the fabric. "I really need to find a better way to secure that!"

"Aye, lass," Estvan muttered darkly. "Aye, that ye do."

Quote:Idea! The trees that are keeping you imprisoned are bound to Rowan. If you can get her to pledge the trees into your service, you can press gang them into your militia! As a reward you can give Rowan a lofty position of command similar to She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named before her. That's a "real job" that comes with a title.

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"Oi'm not an expert on the subject boy any means," Estvan whispered to me. "But oi've a strong suspicion the lass is lyin."

"You think she's deliberately telling untruths?" I asked, shocked.

"That way, it seems," Sam opined. "And to distract us using Wiles, she just tried."

"But .. but .. the part about the trees was true!" I protested. "It had to be, because the trees confirmed it!"

"Aye lad, sure an ye've got a point. But begorrah, what good is it?"

"Well, if I appoint Rowan to a high rank in command of my army, then the trees will have to be on my side. You see? If she serves me, and they serve her ..."

"A bad idea it isn't," Sam remarked.

"Sure an' ye'll need more than trees to defy the Duchess," Estvan pointed out. "Twouldn't hurt to follow the Lacktail's lead an' recruit drunkards from the local taverns."

"I can do that!" Rowan declared confidently.

typeandkey · 12-06-2019, 12:27 PM

>Rowan: You are excellent in getting people's attention, you can get people drunk at the tavern and convince them to sign on to Adler's campaign while they're too out of it to refuse. You used to do the same thing tricking people into joining O'Daisies' mercenary outfit while your father's business was partnered with hers. And if all that fails, you can just drop a few references to how fabulously wealthy your father is. Er, was... Definitely 'was' and not 'is'...
>Estvan: Okay, enough is enough. Granted, she is a potential asset, but if she wants to be included in this, she needs to tell the whole story right now, or take a hike.
>Rowan: Your bizarre story fluctuates wildly and erratically. It's obvious you're just saying what you think they want to hear. A person would have to be a complete doofus to believe your story. You are *VERY* bad at lying.
>Adler: It's obvious she's under duress or she wouldn't be telling such blatant lies. In the most gentlest of ways, let her know that you can't help her if you don't have the real picture.
>Rowan: Start to feel bad. Lying to someone that hopelessly smitten is like kicking a puppy. Come clean. You only told them half the truth. Your family did indeed lose a fortune when all the trees disappeared and O'Daises fled, but they were able to bounce back by claiming what was left of the Duchess's resources. You did indeed cause a scandal when you tried to pursue your dream of dabbling in the oldest profession: shadow puppets. Your parents kicked you out in shame and embarrassment and told you not to come back until you get a real job and learn how to properly invest money. Your parents aren't heartless, though, so they gave you a fair amount of spending money to keep you fed and out of the cold. You left a bunch of things out and exaggerated your plight because you though it would increase your chances of getting a wish.
>Trees: One of the reasons her father agreed to help you, was because if he didn't warn the Duchess of the impending danger, he could claim all her industries for himself.
>Sam: Shadow puppets? You were expecting something different... Also, it is very unwise to cross the Duchess. Her family will need protection. And what better protection than Adler's soon-to-be army?
>Rowan: If it gets you back the lifestyle you're accustomed to, you'll sign on! You'll go to the local tavern and while everyone is drunk you'll inspire them to arms with a politically fueled shadow puppet show. It worked all the time for the Duchess's mercenaries.
>Estvan: This girl is weird...

smuchmuch · 12-07-2019, 01:32 AM

>Addler, for Fuma (and continuity)'s sake, you used to be a master at willies, were pretty darn good at identifying and resisting seduction (and generalyeven turning the tables in these kind of situation quite a few times, remmeber miss Thompson, Mara, Burnside...) Get a hold of yourself !
>Remember when you were a kid and saw all those tombs in the cemetary. Of elves who died betrayed by their lowfolk lovers ? Remember ?

MasterofElfhame · 12-08-2019, 06:49 PM

(HM King Adler) Spend a stupid amount of time designing a military uniform for General Rowan. Something in a flattering colour, and surprisingly protective for how little it covers.
(Rowan) Wow! It makes you look like the Wolf Queen.
(Foxes) Roll your eyes, and consult your time-indicators.
(General Rowan) Venture into tavern full of Drunken Louts. Announce you're Recruiting.
(Drunken Louts) Volunteer with enthusiasm.
(Foxes) Roll your eyes, and consult your time-indicators.
(General Rowan) Strut your stuff on the High Street of the village.
(General Rowan) Get arrested and dunked in the pond by the constables of the village.
(General Rowan) Shrug. You're used to it.
(Foxes) Laugh like hell.
(HM King Adler) Swear Holy Vengeance upon the Constabulary.

Major Matt Mason · 12-09-2019, 01:39 AM

(General Rowan) Find your new duds are weighing you down in the water. Shuck them off.
(General Rowan) Find your fan club is gaining new members by the minute.

El Santo · 12-09-2019, 05:05 AM

Rowan: "You will prove to your parents that you are a responsible adult!" you think as you are about to go press gang men into service, where said men will more than likely meet their bloody end charging a regiment of the O'Daises Handgonners. Oh well that's their problem, and daddy will be very happy that you have a military position.
Estvaan: Something seems very off about this girl but realize that she is not in uniform mention this to Adler.
Adler: Create a grand military regalia for Rowan covered in wondrous colors and gold trim.
Sam: Remind Adler that all those garish colors will single her out in combat very quickly.

tegerioreo · 12-12-2019, 04:18 AM

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Quote:>Rowan: You can get people drunk at the tavern and convince them to sign on to Adler's campaign while they're too out of it to refuse. You used to do the same thing tricking people into joining O'Daisies' mercenary outfit while your father's business was partnered with hers. And if all that fails, you can just drop a few references to how fabulously wealthy your father is. Er, was... Definitely 'was' and not 'is'...

"I can get people drunk at the tavern!" Rowan continued enthusiastically. "My uncle Ash taught me how to hustle mels for drinks back when he owned his place at - that's not important! The point is, I can get 'em plastered and convince them to sign up while they're too intoxicated to refuse. It worked great recruiting for the Duchess' private militia when Daddy's business was partnered with hers .. and if they are still hesitant I can just tell 'em who my Daddy is, and how rich he is - I mean WAS. How rich he was."

Quote:>Estvan: Okay, enough is enough. Granted, she is a potential asset, but if she wants to be included in this, she needs to tell the whole story right now, or take a hike.
>Rowan: Your bizarre story fluctuates wildly and erratically. It's obvious you're just saying what you think they want to hear. A person would have to be a complete doofus to believe your story. You are *VERY* bad at lying.
>Adler: It's obvious she's under duress or she wouldn't be telling such blatant lies. In the most gentlest of ways, let her know that you can't help her if you don't have the real picture.

1211lies.gif

"All roight, all roight lass," Estvan interrupted. "We've had enough o' your blarney. Sure an' ye moight be an asset to our cause, but if ye want to be in on this, it's the truth ye've got to be tellin' us. Yer whole story from the beginnin."

"Okay, well, uh," Rowan hesitated. "I was born in a humble bower beside the lake. My father was a simple woodcutter and uh, my mother was attuned with fairy magic. One day a, um, pixie came up to her and it said 'Willow, that girl of yours will someday be queen of all of us, um, lowfolks and highfolks alike.' And my mother smugly kept this to herself for years, but then, see, there was this guy, he was like a, um, an Unseelie wizard who lived on the other side of the lake, and he guarded an enchanted treasure, and my mother said to me, she said -"

"BEGORRAH," Estvan barked. "Just stop, lass, ere ye embarrass us all to death."

"Poor thing," I sighed. "You must be under extreme duress to be telling such outrageous lies. If you're in trouble, I will do anything in my power to help you. But you've got to tell us the truth."

"Aye, lass, the truth an' no more o' yer fantastical fables at all, at all."

Quote:>Rowan: Start to feel bad. Come clean. You only told them half the truth. Your family did indeed lose a fortune when all the trees disappeared and O'Daises fled, but they were able to bounce back by claiming what was left of the Duchess's resources. You did indeed cause a scandal when you tried to pursue your dream of dabbling in the oldest profession: shadow puppets. Your parents kicked you out in shame and embarrassment and told you not to come back until you get a real job and learn how to properly invest money. Your parents aren't heartless, though, so they gave you a fair amount of spending money to keep you fed and out of the cold. You left a bunch of things out and exaggerated your plight because you though it would increase your chances of getting a wish.
>Trees: One of the reasons her father agreed to help you, was because if he didn't warn the Duchess of the impending danger, he could claim all her industries for himself.

"All right," Rowan sighed. "I'll come clean. My father is Walnut Marten, and he is fabulously wealthy. He started out selling lumber. He had some sort of uncanny connection with the forest; he knew where the best wood was, when to cut and when to wait. Nobody could compete with him. He was the most successful lumbermel in the industry. He invested his profits into buying more woodland. Then he formed a partnership with O'Daisies and opened a chain of lumberyards and tool shops. The family took a hit when all of the trees disappeared and the O'Daisies absconded, but Daddy quickly obtained all of the resources they had abandoned, and came back bigger and more successful than ever. I think he actually planned it that way, somehow using the trees against Duchess Catherine."

"If your family is so prosperous, what are you doing out here?" I asked, suspiciously.

"I grew up bored and over-sheltered in the mansion. I wanted to get out and see the world and do things for myself. I snuck out to work in Uncle Ash's tavern, and it was there that I fell into the world's oldest profession .."

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"Shadow puppet shows," Rowan choked after a reluctant pause.

"Cushlamochree," Estvan whispered. "Ye poor, poor girl. Was there no honest Floozy work for ye at all at all?"

"The local Floozies wouldn't tolerate me competing in what they considered to be a closed market," Rowan muttered sadly. "I thought the puppets were fun at first, and I .. Great Auk .. I had .. a natural talent for the work."

"You needn't tell us any more about that if you don't want to," I assured her, soothingly.

"Thanks," Rowan sniffed. "Of course my parents were outraged when they found out. Ash's place was burned to the ground and I don't even know what happened to him. They kicked me out of the house until I could get a 'real job' and show them I was a responsible adult."

"The dastardly brutes!" I exclaimed.

"No, no, they're not heartless," Rowan explained. "Every few weeks a courier tracks me down and gives me a little bit of money so I won't starve .. but it's humiliating! I want to be able to show them that I can stand on my own feet! I want to prove I'm worthy of being a Marten! That's why I came out here, hoping to get a wish from the magical elf."

"Why lie about your circumstances though?" I asked.

"I thought if you knew I was rich you wouldn't be willing to grant my wish."

Quote:>Sam: Shadow puppets? You were expecting something different... Also, it is very unwise to cross the Duchess. Her family will need protection. And what better protection than Adler's soon-to-be army?

1211thatsodd.gif

"Gentlemen, a word," Sam whispered. "Odd it is about the shadow puppets. That kind of girl, I did not think she was. But even more curious, the part about her father is. The Voice of the Forest he seems to have, yet speak the Voice of the Forest lowfolk cannot. Involved, an elf must be."

"Sure, tis strange," Estvan affirmed.

"Very unwise it is," Sam continued in a louder voice, "The Duchess of Daisies to double-cross. Protection you will need; the kind of protection that from a personal army comes! The kind of army that trying to raise Adl - er, Lord Randall is!"

Quote:>Addler, for Fuma (and continuity)'s sake, you used to be a master at willies, were pretty darn good at identifying and resisting seduction (and generalyeven turning the tables in these kind of situation quite a few times, remmeber miss Thompson, Mara, Burnside...) Get a hold of yourself !
>Remember when you were a kid and saw all those tombs in the cemetary. Of elves who died betrayed by their lowfolk lovers ? Remember ?

Merciful Fuma! I needed to distract Rowan from noticing Sam's awkward slip-up, and also intensify the persuasiveness of his statement! Furthermore, I needed to ensure that this lowfolk femme would be in my thrall, and not the other way around! She was pretty, but she did shadow puppets .. and besides, I had learned my lesson from Ethel! Never again would I let a lowfolk femme steal my heart, only to trample it into the dust like a piece of discarded rubbish! I needed to remember the lessons of Rederbrand and Halewynn and Sir John Hilsinger: Lowfolk femmes could be deadly if not handled correctly!

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"I'm prepared to appoint you to a high rank in my organization," I stated as I radiated my best Wiles. "You'll have to follow orders, and there's no pay as of yet .. but you do get the prestige of being one of my top officers, and it comes with a nifty uniform."

Quote:>Rowan: If it gets you back the lifestyle you're accustomed to, you'll sign on! You'll go to the local tavern and while everyone is drunk you'll inspire them to arms with a politically fueled shadow puppet show. It worked all the time for the Duchess's mercenaries.

"Oooh golly, Lord Rando," Rowan sighed dreamily. "Of course I'll work for you, if it means I can get back in my parents' good graces. I'll go to the taverns and recruit drunkards for your army, and .. and .. for you I'll even do a puppet show to help persuade them!"

Wow! The Wiles were working great! I concentrated and silently composed a Gramarye to transform Rowan's clothes into a uniform - taking care not to repeat the silly mistakes I had made previously with Ethel and PJ.

Quote:(HM King Adler) design a military uniform for General Rowan. Something in a flattering colour, and surprisingly protective for how little it covers.
(Rowan) Wow!
(General Rowan) Find your new duds are [awesome]
Rowan: "You will prove to your parents that you are a responsible adult!" you think as you are about to go press gang men into service, where said men will more than likely meet their bloody end charging a regiment of the O'Daises Handgonners. Oh well that's their problem, and daddy will be very happy that you have a military position.
Adler: Create a grand military regalia for Rowan covered in wondrous colors and gold trim.

1211uniform.gif

"I LOVE IT!" Rowan squealed as she looked down at her new clothes. "So classy! It'll be easy swaying the masses in this outfit!"

Major Matt Mason · 12-12-2019, 08:57 AM

>Rowan: Use shadow puppets to recruit followers. It's super effective!

tronn · 12-13-2019, 06:46 PM

>Rowan: I'm lacking shoes, though...
>Adler: Absolutely refuse to make shoes.

typeandkey · 12-15-2019, 03:42 AM

>Adler: Think for a minute, the dark thoughts come back. For the first time, all the cards are in your hands. You have power right now. While exploiting a loophole to trick your former enemies into serving you is a fine and elfly thing to do, that just isn't good enough. These trees actively tried to prevent you from avenging your brother's death, that makes them just as bad as the people who killed him. In your traumatized and emotional state of mind, you're beginning to conflate who did what all into one lump. The people of Albric Tor died because your brother died, the empire collapsed because your brother died, everything bad that's happened to you in your entire life happened because your brother died, no matter how illogical it is. Everyone who has hindered you or made an enemy of themselves played a part in killing your brother, even the people who were never involved or stood to loose everything if he died. The Duchess, The Sisterhood, Felf, The Queen, Glenholm Webb, The Vulpitanians, Avogadro, Theronmyathus, that stoned buck, THEY KILLED YOUR BROTHER! They all killed him. A tidal wave of blood and vengeance will wash over all of Faerie. You'll burn Vulpitania and the Antglade to the ground. Everyone involved in your brother's death, real or imagined, will be strung up, crucified, dangling on the sides of every road in the empire as a monument. No forgiveness, no redemption, and no mercy. You'll start with these trees. It's not enough to punish and humiliate them, you're going to break their spirit. Magic up a pen and paper and have Rowan read it out loud. A declaration that will not just pledge them to your service, but actively strip them of all freedom and enslave them.
>Rowan: You're fine with this, they're just trees.
>Sam & Estvan: Beg Adler to reconsider. This goes beyond Unseelie. It's evil.
>Trees: Beg for mercy.
>Adler: When the deed is done, laugh maniacally. It doesn't matter what anyone says, this is the first time in forever you've felt this good. Revenge is sweet.
>Rowan: Yep. Your dad laughs like that too.
>Sam & Estvan: Stare in horror and disbelief. He's so far gone. Is there any hope for him at all...

El Santo · 12-15-2019, 04:42 AM

Rowan: Head to the bars and begin the press ganging, start with a local folk into service sing a song and put on a puppet show that will help get them signing up.
Estvaan: "We need to have a talk about priorities boyo" you're going to require the aid of more spies to help you with the the Duchess, hey you know that spies for rent is a good lowfolk business in the area.
Sam: Time to continue with more of Adler's training *Twack

tegerioreo · 12-19-2019, 03:17 AM

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Quote:>Rowan: I'm lacking shoes, though...
>Adler: Absolutely refuse to make shoes.
>Adler: Think for a minute, the dark thoughts come back.

"I need some shoes to go with it though," Rowan added after admiring the new uniform for a few seconds.

1218touchy.gif

"NO!" I screeched. "Why do you lowfolk always assume that elves know how to make shoes, or would even WANT to? I am a scion of Faerie's noblest family! I! DO NOT!! MAKE!!! SHOES!!!!"

"Okay, okay, sheesh," Rowan placated. "Sorry, I didn't know it was such a touchy subject."

"Don't mention it again," I huffed. "Now, I believe you have an assignment."

"Um," Rowan wheedled. "Don't I get a stipend or a retainer or anything? It's going to be hard plying the locals with booze if I don't have any money."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused. "Don't you persuade them to buy rounds of drinks for themselves and you?"

"Not usually," she mused. "But that's an interesting idea. I may have to try that."

"You said earlier that your uncle taught you to hustle mels for drinks," I stated suspiciously. "And you also said that your parents send you money via courier."

"Well, I don't know what you call 'hustling' in Faerie, but around here it's different from what you're suggesting. And it's been a while since my last allowance, AND it's only enough for me to live on, not to buy liquor for a whole tavern full of ruffians. I don't see how I can do this job if you're not willing to give me some petty cash."

I rolled my eyes and apported a sack of elf-gold into my Elfintory, from whence I produced it and handed it to Rowan.

"I will expect detailed receipts," I told her sternly.

"Of course, sir," she grinned as she hefted the bag and listened to its contents clink.

Quote:Rowan: Head to the bars

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"I'm off to do my mission!" Rowan exclaimed as she turned and pranced away into the forest. "Later, suckers!" she called, just before disappearing from sight amidst the undergrowth.

Quote:Estvaan: "We need to have a talk about priorities boyo" you're going to require the aid of more spies to help you with the the Duchess.
Sam: Time to continue with more of Adler's training *Twack

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"Sure an' oi don't trust that girl at all, at all," Estvan muttered. "With any luck, we'll not be seein' her again."

"She'll be back when that elf-gold reverts to rocks and pocket lint," I muttered darkly. "Or who knows .. she might actually recruit some local muscle."

"Sure, it's spies what yer needin," Estvan suggested. "To check on yer agents an' make sure they're doin' what they ought .. as well as foind out all the dirt on Duchess Catherine."

"I have my swarm of Ixies," I reminded him.

"Oho, an' none too reliable that lot are," he sneered. "Ye need to diversify. Twouldn't hurt to have some local talent workin' for ye, bedad. An none of 'em need know about t'other at all at all."

"Are you offering to go recruit some lowfolk spies for me?" I asked. This could be a chance to get Estvan out of my way for a while!

"While gone he is, your training we can resume," Sam stated.

-- HELP HE HAS ME PACKING BOXES IN A WAREHOUSE IN LEXINGTON --

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typeandkey · 12-19-2019, 04:15 AM

>Estvan: Before you begin the lengthy process of building a spy network, spend some time poking at the scry - thingy so you can search for your family as per your deal with Adler. He wants to force you to your word, well that works both ways.
>Sam: Back to the training montage. Start the music.
>Adler: While you are doing Sam's routines, begin thinking dark thoughts and hatching plans. It's perfectly obvious to you that they're both just trying to manipulate you just like everyone else in your entire life. Don't forget that Estvan tried to kill you and Sam didn't lift a finger to help you until he wanted something. Whatever they think they're going to accomplish, you have your own agenda. Never forget that.

El Santo · 12-22-2019, 03:51 AM

Estvaan: You know of a certain gang of rough and tumble back stabbing fiends who are well accomplished in the art of Skulduggery say to Adler "I know a few lowfolk politicians who we could use to our advantage"
Adler: Yes politicians the worst sort of people, you can use them to your advantage. Maybe begin the process of manipulating the locals into rallying to your cause with promises of wealth and glamour and holidays named after them. Yes they will be perfect pawns in your schemes, begin rubbing your hands together and laughing and then TWACK!
Sam: "Pay attention you must" twack Adler again.

smuchmuch · 12-23-2019, 03:31 PM

> This .. is actualy a decent start. If she comes back for more gold, that'll be the start of a good mercenary relationship as long as you make sure that the gold only comes back at the price of service. Not exactly undying loyalty but still something to start with.
> You should learn to cast and uncast curses and blessings with Gramayre. "come back to me if you want the curse to stop" or "serve and you'll get the boon you alway wanted" are one hell of a leverage.
>Finaly get ot the lengthy process of building a spy network (as you have tried to get started since what a good twenty pages now ?) And no more shenanigans untill you've acomplished at least abit of progress darnit ! NO SHENANIGANS !

And it's nice to see his Majesty still has fun with his old pal the kringle these days.

tegerioreo · 01-03-2020, 04:46 AM

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Where did we leave off? Oh yes, of course. Rowan the lowfolk marten femme had run off with a bag of elf-gold, Estvan had suggested building a spy network, and Sam wanted to continue my martial arts training. I suggested that Estvan get started recruiting immediately.

Quote:>Estvan: Before you begin the lengthy process of building a spy network, spend some time poking at the scry - thingy so you can search for your family as per your deal with Adler. He wants to force you to your word, well that works both ways.
>Sam: Back to the training montage.
Sam: "Pay attention you must"

"Not so fast, me boyo," he sneered. "Sure an' it's lookin at the scry tower ye promised me first."

"Take how long that will?" Sam inquired. "Finish his training as soon as possible I must."

"Begorrah, an how long will that take?" Estvan sighed.

"Not long enough in your search any difference to make," Sam assured him. "Ham, all is. That your family is safe, believe you must."

"All roight, very well," Estvan acquiesced. "Train the lad, but be quick about it, bedad!"

0102fight.gif

And so, Adoyret Sam O'Yamm trained me in the Lengra-Cha Gnostermonger style of unarmed combat, while Estvan sipped tea and shouted advice. When Sam was satisfied that I had learned all I could, he bade me farewell and exhorted me to practice daily. Then he wandered away through the forest.

"How can we get to Faerie and back without incurring another inconvenient time skip?" I asked Estvan.

"Sure an loike oi said, it helps to Pook there instead o' usin the Gate. Also - an this requoires some theoretical understandin' o' the temporal mechanics - ye can construct very precise Gramaryes to hold toime steady for ye on either soide .. fer a short whoile. If ye'll admit me to the tower library, sure an oi'll explain the principles to ye."

"All right, I'll meet you over there, I guess."

"Meet me in the anteroom," he suggested. "The tower's always been locked to me, so ye'll have to let me in from there."

I did as he suggested, and a few minutes later we were looking at the books in the scrying tower library.

0102lorem.gif

"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit?" Estvan read from one of the books. "What manner o blather is this?"

"A lot of the documents in here say that," I remarked. "I think it might have been used for scribal practice."

"Preposterous," Estvan snorted. "Sure an this all belonged to the Definitive Veracity. They wouldn't have stocked their reference library with dummy books. It must be a code of some sort. But what could be the key? Arragh, it could take a long whoile to puzzle this out. Can ye just show me how the scry sphere works?"

"Don't touch it," I warned him. "All you have to do is gaze into it, and -"

I slipped into the scryspace and peeked through the tree-shaped crack to see the circle of stones outside the Gate.

Quote:If she comes back for more gold, that'll be the start of a good mercenary relationship as long as you make sure that the gold only comes back at the price of service.

0102angered.gif

Rowan was standing there, yelling "LORD RAMBO YOU CHEAT! YOU SCOUNDREL! YOU ELF!!! GET YOUR FLUFFY BUTT OUT HERE RIGHT NOW, YOU BASTARD! SKINFLINT! FOURFLUSHER! PARLIAMENTARIAN! I'M NOT LEAVING TIL YOU FACE ME, COWARD!"

"That marten femme is back," I said, pulling back out of my scryspace. "And she seems mad about something."

typeandkey · 01-03-2020, 08:18 AM

>Adler: Take Estvan's advice and pook in front of her.
>Rowan: You're so upset, you are completely unfazed. Start yelling at Adler.
>Adler: By Fuma, she's even more beautiful when she's angry! Wait-No! Focus. Just keep thinking about shadow puppets, she can't have power over you if you just think about that. Hopefully.
>Rowan: What was Adler thinking!? That gold he gave you turned into twigs and leaves. It was supposed to turn into COOKIES AND BISCUITS!!!
>Adler: "I-You-Uh... What?"
>Rowan: The gold elves give to lowfolk is supposed to turn into cookies and biscuits! Like in all the old stories! Farmer catches elf, demands gold, gets gold, gold turns into cookies. That's how it's supposed to work. You went all the way into a tavern and told people you were working for an elf and passed the elf gold around to prove it. You told them, "This here is genuine elf gold, and if you wait long enough it'll turn into delicious biscuits and cookies just like in all the stories." Well guess what, it didn't turn into biscuits and cookies, it turned into twigs and leaves. They laughed you out of the tavern. You were laughed out of town. You have never been so humiliated in your entire life!! How does he expect to convince people to work for a magical elf if he doesn't play the part properly?! White hot tears of humiliation and rage stream down your face.
>Adler: ... You really have no idea how to respond to this.
>Estvan: Cookies and biscuits? Where are the lowfolk getting their folklore from? It's like they just stand in circles and make things up.

El Santo · 01-05-2020, 07:24 AM

Estvaan: Whilst Adler is distracted try using the scry orb, it won't hurt if- you then notice the alchemy table where Adler was trying to steam gunpowder. Your mind is boggled and you become distracted for a good twenty minutes trying to map out the thought process of your ruler.
Adler: Explain to Rowan it's always been twigs and leaves.
Rowan: Incoherently scream about cookies and biscuits!
Sam: Suddenly get a craving for cookies and biscuits.
Gaggle of Lowfolk Men: Curiously you wanted to see where the deranged shadow puppet flozy ran off to, after all she still owes you cookies and biscuits. Rowan appears to be arguing with a very well to do looking woman, ask her if you could braid her hair.
Adler: Look confused and then it dawns on you, these fellows think you're a chick, oh dear this is going to be harder than you thought.

tronn · 01-05-2020, 04:11 PM

>No self respecting elf would get caught eating biscuits and cookies, that's what the...Red Jolly One eats!

tegerioreo · 01-09-2020, 03:09 AM

Show Content

"An' has she brought a gaggle o' spies with her?" Estvan asked.

"No," I replied. "It looked like she was alone, angry, and yelling insults."

"Sure an they do that a lot," Estvan sighed. "Best go out an see what she wants. Pook roight in front o' her. That sometimes startles 'em so they forget what they were on about."

Quote:>Adler: Take Estvan's advice and pook in front of her.
>Rowan: You're so upset, you are completely unfazed. Start yelling at Adler.
>Rowan: What was Adler thinking!? That gold he gave you turned into twigs and leaves. It was supposed to turn into COOKIES AND BISCUITS!!!
>Adler: "I-You-Uh... What?"
>Rowan: The gold elves give to lowfolk is supposed to turn into cookies and biscuits! Like in all the old stories!

0108angry.gif

"Oh THERE you are, you poultroon! Buffoon! Bozo! Nincompoop!" she yelled as soon as I appeared.

"What seems to be the prob-" I started.

"That elf-gold you gave me, buster!" she snarled. "It turned into twigs and leaves and bits of dirt! You cheated me, you scoundrel! Scalliwag! Councilman!"

"Ah yes, well, you see -"

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO TURN INTO BUSCUITS AND COOKIES!!" Rowan shrieked. "I handed it around the tavern, telling everyone that I was working for a magical elf, and if they waited a while, the gold would turn into biscuits and cookies. When it turned into twigs and leaves everyone laughed at me!! I've never been so humiliated in all my life!"

"Not even when you were doing shadow puppets?" I asked.

"HOW DARE YOU!!!"

Quote:>Estvan: Cookies and biscuits? Where are the lowfolk getting their folklore from? It's like they just stand in circles and make things up.
Estvaan: Whilst Adler is distracted try using the scry orb, you then notice the alchemy table where Adler was trying to steam gunpowder. Your mind is boggled
Adler: Explain to Rowan it's always been twigs and leaves.
Rowan: Incoherently scream about cookies and biscuits!
>No self respecting elf would get caught eating biscuits and cookies, that's what the...Red Jolly One eats!

"I don't know where you got your information," I stated, trying to calm the situation. "But it's always been sticks and twigs. Elf-gold never turns into biscuits and cookies, because that's .." I looked around nervously and then whispered "that's Kringle food."

0108furious.gif

"YOU'RE LYING!!" Rowan screamed. "It has always been biscuits and cookies, all of the stories say so!"

"Madam, one thing elves do not do is lie," I retorted.

"Begorrah, that's a new one on me," Estvan muttered. "Where do they get their elf lore at all at all? Sure they must sit around makin' up tales on winter nights, an then BELIEVIN' em, bedad!"

"What are you doing out here?" I asked him.

"Seems oi'm not permitted in the tower alone," he shrugged. "Before oi was ejected, oi noticed yer wee alchemy set. Sure an oi'd loike to talk to ye about that later, boyo."

"ARE YOU TWO EVEN PAYING ATTENTION??" Rowan screeched. "You've ruined my reputation! How can I ever show my face in that town again? I swear you're more trouble than the pesky rabbits!"

Quote:Gaggle of Lowfolk Men: Curiously you wanted to see where the deranged shadow puppet flozy ran off to, after all she still owes you cookies and biscuits. Rowan appears to be arguing with a very well to do looking woman, ask her if you could braid her hair.

0108strangers.gif

Two strangers poked their heads out from behind a nearby tree.

"That's her," the one in the tricorn hat observed. "The crazy femme from the tavern."

"Who's that little girl she's talking to?" the other one asked. "Do you think that's the elf?"

"HEY!" the first one shouted. "Pardon us for interrupting, but can we braid your hair for luck? It'll only take a few minutes."

tronn · 01-09-2020, 05:49 AM

>Adler: Let your Deranged Floozy Associate take the Deranged Floozy aside to calm down while you talk to these nice men.

>Adler: Finally some henchmen, and respect!

typeandkey · 01-09-2020, 11:16 AM

>Adler: Why does everyone want to braid you hai- wait. LITTLE GIRL!?!
>Estvan: Take Rowan aside so Adler can converse with his potential minions. It's best to just let her tire herself out.
>Lowfolk Mercs: You overheard Rowan's shouting, you don't know why she's so upset. It was just a light, good-natured chuckle, you certainly didn't laugh her out of town like she said. She's just being hyper sensitive. Anyway, why are you out here, little girl?
>Adler: I'm not a little girl.
>Mercs: Is that fox over there your father?
>Adler: I'm not a little girl.
>Mercs: Is he the elf that's recruiting like we've heard? It seems irresponsible getting his young daughter mixed up in all this.
>Adler: I'm not a little girl.
>Mercs: Here, you should go braid flowers or something while we talk business with your father.
>Adler: *scream like a little girl* I'M NOT A LITTLE GIRL!!!
>Rowan and Estvan: Seeing this scene unfold has helped Rowan calm down. You are both sharing a hearty laugh at Adler's expense.

El Santo · 01-10-2020, 05:01 AM

Lowfolk Mercs: Give the little girl a glass of milk (which is only slightly rancid from the long walk out here) and some sweets (That are only a few years old and only very stale) so she calms down.
Adler: Accept the sweets and milk like a little girl begrudgingly, you are hungry after all. Almost throw up from the milk and sweets.
Estvaan: Explain to the mercs that Adler is the elf they are looking for.
Mercs: Be very bemused by Estvaan that he is claiming his daughter is the grand elf Adler.
Adler: I am not a little girl!