Four Painful Years

Give your neighbor a Sarcastic Thumbs Up. Let Him know that you know his shit and you can't even care enough about it to get ornery

Don't forget your prescription before you go to the pharmacy.

You never do. You always keep notes from your doctor in your wallet, between your credit card and your Sugar Dandy stamp card. Only two more stamps and you earn a free ice cream!

Give your neighbor a Sarcastic Thumbs Up. Let Him know that you know his shit and you can't even care enough about it to get ornery

Your mouth forms a thin line as you pump your thumb upwards in stoic acknowledgement. After a few tense moments of absolute silence, the shadows pass from your neighbor's window. He's gone.

Yeah, serves him right! That's what he gets for being a big creepy dumb weirdo all month long. You briefly wonder what other magical powers your thumb possesses, what other suburban crises can be avoided through liberal application of an awkward thumbs-up. Either way, you've defeated your scary neighbor and you feel pretty good about yourself right now.

Your Vitals soar.
You gain 200 EXP.
You find 50 Dollars.
You find an Enchanted Mood Ring.

None of those things actually happen. Though, you do step on someone's discarded mood ring. Do people still wear those?

What do you do? You still need to visit the warehouse to grab your bonus check, as well as the pharmacy to get your meds.

>Go to the pharmacy first so you don't get a migraine while going to the warehouse.

who knows if People still wear those, but you sure as hell do. Equip The Random Pavement Trash On Your Thumbs Upping Thumb To Boost its Already Potent Stats. Then head to the Warehouse. Better to have Bonus Cash when heading to Places of Shopping Than To Go and risk a Lack O Appropriate fundage

Getting that check is probably going to take longer, best to get that out of the way first.

who knows if People still wear those, but you sure as hell do.

That's a fantastic point. You bend down and pick it up.

Dad used to buy crap like this for you while waiting in line at the supermarket. Mood rings, little LCD keychain games and Starchie the Hedgehog Comics. You guess he was kind of a sweetheart, no accounting for taste.

As it sits on your finger it gradually changes from green to a sort of dark yellow. You think that's... good? Bad maybe? How do these things even work?

>Go to the pharmacy first so you don't get a migraine while going to the warehouse.

>Better to have Bonus Cash
>Getting that check is probably going to take longer, best to get that out of the way first.

Quite the dilemma. You end up deciding to risk the pain and head up to the warehouse first. It’s only a couple blocks away, and the chance of you experiencing a sudden brain spasm is actually pretty low. You just need to keep calm and focus on getting to work… Yeah, calm and focused... You can’t let it run your life.

You engage in some people watching as you wait for the light at the crosswalk to change. Food truck… Mailman... There goes that one jogger with her three dogs. You squint. No, wait, she just has the one dog this time. What happened to the other two?

Your little buddy tends to push up against the other parts of your brain and make you see, hear and occasionally feel things that don’t exist. Like the bush with the blinking lights, or that weird bird over there. Or the screaming you hear when you flush your toilet, all just stupid, distracting illusions you wish you could be free from. For all you know, that jogger only ever had one dog, and you just imagined the other two. You’ve done all you can to prevent yourself from becoming a paranoid wreck, other than more medication, but the side-effects on that stuff can be nasty. You suppose you’ll just have to deal with seeing smoke pour from your supervisor’s ears every few days.

Before long you find yourself in the rear parking lot of Grosvenor Storage & Warehouse, your dusty, ill-managed home away from home. It is here where you earn a modest living shoving boxes into holes for eight hours a day. You can hear someone gunning the forklift as you scale the stairs to the back door. Those troglodytes better not be over-loading her again, or they’ll have to answer to her human mommy.

That’s you. You are the human mommy.

You open the door and are treated to a yelling match between two of your underlings, Mustafa and Trent. You hate it when your boys fight. You hate it even more so when their fighting blocks the entrance to the rest of the warehouse.

What do you do?

---

Achievement Unlocked: "Mood" - Picked up someone’s discarded mood ring. (10In)

>Do what you always do when Mustafa and Trent fight: Yell louder than them so you get their attention.

>Loudly insist that they can it. You're busy waiting to die over here!

Maybe shove a mattress onto them if they keep going.

Listen to their problems briefly before telling the pair they are both wrong. It doesn't matter if they are or not, standing in your way automatically makes their points invalid. Then give them some fortune cookie bullshit about how a blocked river can not flow or something like that. This should distract them long enough to get past.

Listen to their problems briefly before telling the pair they are both wrong. It doesn't matter if they are or not, standing in your way automatically makes their points invalid. Then give them some fortune cookie bullshit about how a blocked river cannot flow or something like that. This should distract them long enough to get past.

You decide to suffer their argument until you can find an appropriate opening. The older Mustafa is bearing down on Trent with the full force of his gigantic bushy moustache. Despite that, the scrappy little redhead manages to find the chutzpah to square up on him.

MUSTAFA: “Four times this week, four times!”

TRENT: “Three, three, actually...”

MUSTAFA: “Doesn’t matter, that’s three too many. If you don’t know how to drive the machines you shouldn’t be on them, end of story.”

TRENT: “Yeah? And how else am I supposed to learn, huh? Who’s gonna teach me, you? Everyone’s too damn busy and I need the forklift to finish picking...”

MUSTAFA: “You know what happens when you try to do picking? Let me tell you. Damaged product - ”

TRENT: “Oh my god, this again...”

MUSTAFA: “Damaged product, broken crates, missing pieces…”

TRENT: “Missing pieces my ass, you didn’t read the signs I made!”

MUSTAFA: “Your job isn’t to make signs, stupid, your job is to be fast and accurate.”

TRENT: “I’ve got a ‘fast accurate job’ for you right here, old man...”

Yeah, you think you’ve heard about enough of this.

>Do what you always do when Mustafa and Trent fight: Yell louder than them so you get their attention.

>Loudly insist that they can it. You're busy waiting to die over here!

JULIE: "Gentlemen!"

MUSTAFA & TRENT: “...!”

JULIE: “So glad to finally have your attention! Are we having a productive morning?”

TRENT: "It's one in the afternoon."

JULIE: "Don't sass me, child."

TRENT: "I'm a year older than you."

JULIE: "Sass, I say!"

MUSTAFA: "... Have you been standing there long?"

JULIE: "Oh, long enough. Enough to understand what's going on."
JULIE: "What did you break this time, Trent."

TRENT: "A crate, but I only grazed it. The stuff inside is fine. As far as I can tell anyway."

JULIE: "Who cleared you for the forklift?"

TRENT: "Well... No one, but - "

JULIE: "Ah ah! Shh, now. Shhhh."
JULIE: "Then you shouldnt've been using it. You aren't licenced and you haven't been trained, you could get us in trouble. Speaking of which, Moose?"

MUSTAFA: "Hmm?"

JULIE: "Ditch the smug, Sonny Jim. Have you been training Trent on the forks before break like I asked you to?"

MUSTAFA: "... Uhhh..."

JULIE: "Right, so, this is how its gonna go from now on."
JULIE: "Trent, Mustafa is going to train you on the forklift before lunch on every day that both of you are working. Until then, do not touch the damn thing unless someone clears you, yes, even if no one else is available and we're on a time crunch. If he forgets, tell Maxwell, or leave a note for me."
JULIE: "Basically, Moose, you're not allowed to be a dick just 'cause you've got seniority, and Trent, ease up on the throttle and quit being a dumbass. Okay? Please tell me I've made myself clear, I'm giving myself a headache."

MUSTAFA: "Okay."

TRENT: "Yeah, crystal."

JULIE: "Fan-freakin'-tastic. Then as grand chief poobah of our great nation I hereby declare this meeting adjourned, may the almighty Lord bless our turkeys or whatever, something something prosperity something..."
JULIE: "Also, next time you guys argue can you do it someplace else so I can just grab my check and go home? Hearts."

Mustafa and Trent go their separate ways. You have successfully cleared the way!

Your Mana has recovered.
You gain 8 Zenny.
You find a Rare Candy, etc, etc.

What do you do?

---

Achievement Unlocked: "A Peaceful Resolution" - Resolved an argument between your underlings before a fight could break out. (10In)

>Eat that Rare Candy and gain a level, duh.

Use your regained mana to cast the high tier spell [Get paid]. Also, spare a glance at the mood ring.

>Eat that Rare Candy and gain a level, duh.

Use your regained mana to cast the high tier spell [Get paid]. Also, spare a glance at the mood ring.

N-no, you see, none of that stuff actually happened. You don’t have any candy and Mana doesn’t exist. Those thoughts were simply the facetious ramblings of a wild imagination. Nothing more.

Getting paid, however, is something you can feasibly accomplish. You will have to visit the office and retrieve your bonus check from Maxwell’s desk, preferably while he isn’t around. An encounter with the chatty manager-in-training can last hours upon hours… Not that that’s a bad thing, of course, he’s one of the few people you genuinely enjoy spending what little time you have left with. But you gotta save some of that for yourself, y’know? You have things to do, robots to build, jammy peebs to consume!

On the way to the office y-

Wow! Rude! Luca almost ran you over with the forklift! You call after her and raise your fist like a grouchy old man, but surprise surprise, she’s got her earbuds in. Both of them. Typical. When is that chick gonna learn proper warehouse etiquette?

Anyway…

You check your new mood ring. It’s redder than it was before, but still mostly a gross mix of grey and yellow. Probably ‘cause you almost bit the dust back there, and the ring senses that? You honestly don’t ever remember seeing one turn red…

Upon reaching the office you take a peek around the corner of the entryway…

MAXWELL: “Julie! You made it!”

SHIT.

>Play it cool, don't make a fool of yourself in front of the Horrendously cute boi. Ask about his day. It's bound to be better than yours but hey, maybe something interesting happened that you could discuss over a pizza and maybe a bottle of shiraz... DAMNIT MOOD RING!

>Take off mood ring. You can't get distracted by it while you're talking to Max about the check!

Dann, you're trapped. Only way out is to make pleasent small talk. You got this, probably.
Just avoid panicking and the check is as good as yours.

>Play it cool, don't make a fool of yourself in front of the Horrendously cute boi.

>Take off mood ring. You can't get distracted by it while you're talking to Max about the check!

Dann, you're trapped. Only way out is to make pleasent small talk. You got this, probably.
Just avoid panicking and the check is as good as yours.

You slip the mood ring off of your finger into your pocket. You don't need to look any frumpier than you think you do currently.

JULIE: "Hey, Max!"

MAXWELL: "Hey! You had me thinking you weren't gonna show up."

JULIE: "Pff, and what, miss out on all mah fat loots? Think again, boyo."
JULIE: "Okay day?"

MAXWELL: "Oh y'know, same ol' same ol'."

Oh, Maxwell. If only. The way he paces around the room and fixes his little glasses is so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnning. Cunning. You know, like a ninja or something. He's got light steps. Probably a good dancer. You should ask him if he's good at dancing no you shouldn't that would be ridiculous WHAT WERE YOU THINKING.

MAXWELL: "Trent's crashing into product, Luca's crashing into people and Mustafa's yelling about how everyone's crashing into things."
MAXWELL: "So all in all, a good day, actually."
MAXWELL: "Though, it'd be better with you around..."

JULIE: "[unintelligible] youuuu [incoherent] would even SAY something [additional gibberish] pffffhahahaha, snort."
JULIE: "Flattery'll getcha nowhere, friend-o. Besides, I've seen your method. You've got everything under control, Mister Almost-Manager."

MAXWELL: "Haha, yeah..."
MAXWELL: "Uh, about that..."

JULIE: "Huh?"

MAXWELL: "You, uh... So you know that school I've been trying to get into for a while?"

JULIE: "... OH... MY... GUNDANIUM."
JULIE: "You got the interview!"

MAXWELL: "I got the interview!"

JULIE: "... Shit!"

MAXWELL: "?"

JULIE: "Who's going to be running the place if you get accepted?"

With a wry smile Maxwell clears some stuff off of his desk and sits on top of it. What is going on???

MAXWELL: "Tell me, Jules... Who do you think, out of all the people that work here, is most qualified to take up my mantle as soon-to-be-prime-arbitrator of Grosvenor Storage & Warehouse care of 7431 Bridgeview and Caldew?"

JULIE: "..."
JULIE: "Moose?"

MAXWELL: "Haha, no, not Moose..."

JULIE: "Luca?"

MAXWELL: "No... No, definitely not Luca."

JULIE: "Trent?"

MAXWELL: "He... Julie, he's only been here three weeks. I'm gonna humor you one more time, it's the one person that works here you haven't mentioned yet."

JULIE: "..."
JULIE: "Phillipé."

MAXWELL: "Dammit, Julie, not the janitor, it's YOU!"

JULIE: "But whyyyyyyyyyy!?"
JULIE: "I didn't sign up for a permanent gig here, Max. I only wanted to work long enough to afford some last minute junk before I go on disability and never have to waste my time working ever again..."
JULIE: "You've gotta find someone else."

MAXWELL: "There is no one else!"
MAXWELL: "The man upstairs wants me to find someone 'appropriate' to fill my position before I take off. He's threatening to withhold the character reference I asked him for otherwise..."

JULIE: "Uhhhh, WHAT?"
JULIE: "He can't do that, that's a total dick move! You need as many of those as you can get!"

MAXWELL: "Technically there's nothing stopping him."
MAXWELL: "I know you're... Gosh, this is always hard to talk about."
MAXWELL: "I know you're short on time and everything o-on account of, uh..."

JULIE: "Because I'm dying."
JULIE: "I've kinda had a while to come to grips with it, Max. It's cool."

But if that's true, why do you feel so choked up every time you mention it?

MAXWELL: "... Yeah."
MAXWELL: "Just... Hear me out."
MAXWELL: "If you can play along for just a little, maybe like... a couple months after I leave, maybe less, a friend of mine is moving back into the neighborhood. She's got the kind of experience the boss is looking for, and she's gonna need work when she gets here. When she does, I'll recommend her and you can scram on out of here, how does that sound?"

JULIE: "... A couple months is a long time, Max. I don't know..."
JULIE: "Though I guess I could just pack up and leave after you get accepted?"

MAXWELL: "Normally I'd agree. But the school I'm going to is pretty hoity-toity... Grosvenor could have my enrollment revoked with even so much as a mention of me being unreliable or, Christ, dishonest."
MAXWELL: "I'm honestly at your mercy, Jules. You can say no, I'm sure I'll find a way anyhow, but, like... Help me out here, and I'll never ask you for anything ever again, scout's honor. And I'll pay it back tenfold once I'm out, you can bet on that, I'll make up for those two months so good you won't even miss them."
MAXWELL: "What do you say, huh? Do I have to get on my knees? Like, I will."

JULIE: "No, no, don't do that... No, haha... No, seriously, Max, it's pathetic, get up."
JULIE: "Just... Ugh, ummm..."
JULIE: "Uhhh..."

Maxwell is a close friend, arguably your closest. He's helped you through a lot since you moved in two years ago, nicest guy you've ever met, a real shoulder to cry on. Hell, had you not been dying, you may have even staved off your anxiety long enough to ask him out by now. But, like you said... a couple months is 4% of your remaining time on Earth. You can't really afford to wait around for something that might not even happen. On the other hand, you don't really want to be the kind of person who wouldn't give up 4% of their life if it would benefit a friend in need. You feel a headache coming on.

What do you do?

>This is a lot to take in. You should take a day to think about it.

You are not mentally prepared for this, hell you're not even on your medication. That's twice the mental unsoundness! You need to think on this with a clear head before committing to it.
For now just retrieve the check and scurry on out of that warehouse.

You are not mentally prepared for this, hell you're not even on your medication. That's twice the mental unsoundness! You need to think on this with a clear head before committing to it.
For now just retrieve the check and scurry on out of that warehouse.

>This is a lot to take in. You should take a day to think about it.

Seconding both of these.

>The money means the other 96% will be much easier. And Seriously. Look at this kid. You know what would be a waste? Going 100% of your life waiting for him to ask you out.

As if he's free tomorrow and you can give him an answer at that nice place downtown. I hear they make the best calzones.

Tell him to go get a lawyer to sort out the thing with the reference sheet. Seriously.

You are not mentally prepared for this, hell you're not even on your medication. That's twice the mental unsoundness! You need to think on this with a clear head before committing to it.
For now just retrieve the check and scurry on out of that warehouse.

>This is a lot to take in. You should take a day to think about it.

Seconding both of these.

JULIE: “Look, Max, I’m really gonna have to think on this... It’s a tough one for me, y’know? Can I get back to you when I’ve got an actual head on my shoulders and not this gross lump of meat and angry bees?”

MAXWELL: “O-Oh no, yeah, for sure! I can wait, no problem… Gosh, I hope I’m not giving you a headache.”
MAXWELL: “Have you not been taking your medication?”

JULIE: “Of course I have, what, you think I enjoy being in horrible agony? I haven’t stopped by the pharmacy yet...”

MAXWELL: “Out with you then. Go on, get. Sorry for keeping you.”
MAXWELL: “And don’t forget this.”

JULIE: “Sweet jumbles, I almost did! Thanks!”

You have obtained your bonus check. Before you can pull your hand away, Maxwell holds onto it with both of his and looks you in the eyes.

MAXWELL: “Please. Please don’t stress yourself over my thing, okay? Just go home, get some rest, take care of that pain. You know I hate to see you in pain. Capiche?”

You can’t look away from Maxwell’s transfixing gaze. Always this guy with his transfixing gaze.

JULIE: “... Capiche.”

MAXWELL: “Thank you.”
MAXWELL: “Now get out of here, and watch out for Luca.”

JULIE: “Hoo, you ain’t gotta tell me twice.”
JULIE: “Seeya, Max! Love yer face!”

MAXWELL: “It loves you back!”

Well that was a train wreck. You depart from the office with your fat loots and slip your mood ring back on, because you’re practically obsessed with the thing. It’s still red. Damn thing must be broken. Understandable, since you found it under your foot and all.

Before you can leave the warehouse, you are almost flattened once more by Luca. This time, however, she skids to a halt in front of you. She just sits there, staring at you, chewing a fat wad of gum with bored recalcitrance.

JULIE: “OH MY GOD LUCA, WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION?”



LUCA: “...”

JULIE: “...”

LUCA: “...”

JULIE: “...”

LUCA: “...”
LUCA: “Watch yourself.”

She drives off.

JULIE: “Watch MYSELF? Nuh uh, sister, YOU watch YOURSELF… AND TAKE OUT THOSE STUPID EARBUDS!”

She probably can’t hear you anyway, lousy rotten… Whatever. You have more important matters to attend to.

You still have to visit the pharmacy to pick up your medication.

What do you do?

---

Today's image was drawn on my phone with the handle of a fork. I shouldn't be sorry, but I am.

>What you're waiting? Go to the damn Pharmacy
>Put your mood ring back.

>As if you're gonna do anything other than go to the pharmacy.