The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

>Adler: No, no, you're entirely okay with her staying in the boat and you on the veranda shouting over at each other, no need to invite anyone nowhere at all.

(HSH Prince Adler) Ponder: that raccoon femme looks eerily familiar, somehow.
(Lemmy the Spy) Get into an argument over whether the Lowfolk Ham can be brought into the Station.
(HSH Prince Adler) With exquisite courtesy, invite Her Grace to sit a spell.
(HSH Prince Adler) With exquisite grace, assist Her Grace out of the boat.
(HG C'OD) Have your moment spoiled when your two idiot son-nephews roar by on their roaches.
(HSH Prince Adler) See if you're a Julep Master as well as Stewmaster.
(HG C'OD) Praise the resulting juleps.
(Fifi Fofox) Hang up some motivational posters. See them almost immediately crumple in the heat.
(Ms. Thomson) Examine the deceased agent, who has yet to be moved.
(Ms. Thomson) Learn a few things of interest from the body.
(HSH Prince Adler) Stall for a bit of time by offering to whip up not only juleps, but stew.
(HSH Prince Adler) Clarify: NOT Lowfolk Ham Stew.
(Raccoon Femme) Suddenly become alert at the mention of "stew."
(Lemmy) Immediately drop the Lowfolk Ham and break out cutlery at mention of "stew."
(Fifi Fofox) Squeal in excitement at the mention of "stew."
(Ms. Thomson) Sniff disdainfully at the mention of meat-eating.
(HG COD) Swish your tail thoughtfully at the mention of stew.
(HG COD) Suggest a marinade made with Persoc-Itoome; either that, or OSCABAT.

(Lemmy) Immediately drop the Lowfolk Ham and break out cutlery at mention of "stew."

Im imagining him getting very excited like the tex avery weasel in one of the foghorn leghorn cartoon.

"slurp" "pop" yeah! yeah! yeah! chicken dinner!

Adler, browse through the drawers. Find a variety of objects, the most interesting by far being several issues of Jane, the Lowfolk Femme.
Try using elfmind on the axe and the corpse. Find that what happened is something very surprising.

Trap door to the cellar, be discovered.
Cellar, be full of empty crates, bottles and other assorted junk.
Everyone, realize that you have a supply problem. Adler, send someone out to see if there are enough dandelions growing around here to make a decent bowl of salad.
Then swallow your pride and ask the Duchess if she can help in the short run.
Duchess, apport a crate of Usquebaugh. State that's all her help Adler is entitled to for now.

Lemuel, tell Adler about your life in the Antglade. Even go into uncomfortable details. Accidentally reveal something to Adler that he's not supposed to know.

Try using elfmind on the axe and the corpse. Find that what happened is something very surprising.

Possibly not a good idea. Axes that are sentient are to be avoided, and talking to the dead can be very nasty and dangerous. Psychometry could be used on the axe handle, though.

As for the supply issue, one could always make a run to the local Harris Teeter, Publix or Piggly Wiggly.

I'm imagining him getting very excited like the tex avery weasel in one of the foghorn leghorn cartoon.

SIDENOTE: While Tex Avery did indeed do a weasel-based cartoon ("The Sneezing Weasel," with some great Irv Spence animation), and one he voiced himself, I think you're thinking of some of Bob McKimson's cartoons from about 20 years later, like "Weasel While You Work," "Weasel Stop" and "Plop Goes the Weasel." If you're thinking of a slobbering little buck-toothed critter.

ah well from memory i thought it was ;)

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SpoilerHELP! We need to name the raccoon femme.

>Adler: Decide whether or not you're going to be a gentleelf towards the Duchess.
Adler> she cant enter neutral ground with out being invited? This is like a requirement for a vampire to enter someones home.... or maybe a diplomatic courtesy thing hmm dont want to tick her off tho
>Adler: No, no, you're entirely okay with her staying in the boat and you on the veranda shouting over at each other, no need to invite anyone nowhere at all.

The Duchess's need to be invited struck me as rather odd .. but then again, it was a classic element of all the old ballads and folk tales, that the Unseelie monster had to be invited into its victim's house.

That was an unsettling thought.

I could not shake the feeling that it would be extremely unwise to invite Duchess Catherine onto the Listening Post premises. Then again, I was here in a semi-diplomatic capacity, and it would not do to be rude.

>Unfortunately, the water is full of leeches, electric eels, and low-quality boots.
>Invite for the afternoon, should be jsut enough to get a tea a,d some good old fashion plotting going.
(HSH Prince Adler) With exquisite courtesy, invite Her Grace to sit a spell.

"Bring the other chair around from the front," I instructed Ms. Thomson. Then I turned and called out, "Come on up and sit a spell on the porch, Your Grace."

She immediately pooked into the empty chair, and I sat down in the other one which Thomson placed behind me.



"Quite an entrance, Your Grace," I remarked, removing my hat and fanning myself with it.

"Why shucks, darlin, you can call me Catherine," the Duchess simpered. "That thar swamp water is plumb nasty, so I don't like to get in it if I don't have to. We-uns as has got magick can avoid unpleasantness, am I right?"

"Sometimes we can," I agreed cautiously.

"You look right handsome in your Antglade duds," she observed, coquettishly.

"Thank you, ma'am," I acknowledged blankly. "It seems like an awful lot to wear for this climate, though. Is it always this hot here?"

"Nope," she replied. "It's usually hotter. Nobody'll object if you wanna take somethin' off."

Adler > ask where the spy and the official Antglade Attache are going to sleep, the outpost doesn't have space for them.
Adler > inspect the raccoon femme
>A single cabin for the three of you was already small but if Lemmy join as well...,
(HSH Prince Adler) Ponder: that raccoon femme looks eerily familiar, somehow.

"The, uh, Diplomatic Post is extremely tiny," I deftly changed the subject as I watched Lemmy toil up the slope of the lawn with the ungainly ham. The raccoon femme paused to daintily wring stagnant water out of her skirt. "Where exactly are the Spy and the Attache going to sleep?"

"Lemmy can bed down wherever," the Duchess replied. "It's his job to stay outta sight, anyhow. Your Attache will share your bunk, of course, since she's your diplomatic counterpart."

"There's no bunk, just a hammock," I corrected. Then, as it sunk in, I exclaimed, "I can't sleep with her! I don't even know her! Besides, she's just a child!"



"I'm almost fifty!" the raccoon exclaimed as she clambered up onto the porch. "You'd be tiny too if all you had to eat growing up was string beans and cornpone!" With a toss of her head and an irritable snort, she lugged her suitcase into the outpost building.

"I've got the strangest feeling I've seen her somewhere before," I mused.

"She was one of the Changelings you done rescued from Evan Klive's ol' Vulpy arch thangy," Catherine explained.

"How did she wind up here?" I asked.

"Luck," the Duchess shrugged.

Adler > ask Duchess Catherine O'Daisies about the magic that binds her to antglade and who bound her

"So," I segued uncomfortably. "Why exactly did you have to be invited up here? What is the nature of the spell that confines you to the Gladsome Antglade?"

"Technically it's a geas," Catherine explained wistfully. "I dunno who made it; maybe it was cousin-king Yngvar .. or my money's on that scalliwag Estvan Silverbrush .. or it coulda been somebody else. Basically I cain't leave the Antglade, not ever, not under any circumstances, so long as the Empire stands. But the land this here Listenin Station is on is whatcha call liminal. It ain't exactly part of the Antglade but it ain't not part of it neither. So I can come here if invited by a durn Imperial representative. That'd be you, sugar."

Adler > ask if its possible to set up a trade agreement for Persoc-Itoome to be sent home to estmere

"Do you happen to have any .. Persoc-Itoome?" I hazarded.

"That stuff is illegal," the Duchess chuckled. "Ever since your grandpappy Adler banned it in the Empire."

"Well, my brother, King Estmere, asked me to send him some if I could."

"I can put you in touch with Matholwch, and maybe he can rustle up a few bottles," Catherine said warily. "I'm sure we got a few lyin around somewhere."

"I'd be much obliged," I stated with a nod.

>you definitively need to talkj about the queen , what's her game here ?

"Now then, darlin, let's get down to business," she said, suddenly leaning forward in her chair. "What I hear, the Queen had it in for you. I find that thar to be mighty interestin, so tell me all about it."

"I don't know," I shrugged, mystified. "She was nice to me at first. She even got books for me from the Persoc Tor library, but as time went on she seemed to get more and more sullen and suspicious toward me. During part of my, uh, security operations during the Vulpitanian thaumaturgists' visit, I had the Marshal's assistant disguised as me -"

"Heh heh, I'd 've liked to seen that," the Duchess giggled. "But go on."

"And somebody attacked him!" I exclaimed. "Stabbed him in the back, but with a fake dagger that did no actual harm. I did psychometry on it, and it had been cleaned of all trace except for the instant before the wielder let go of it .. and that person was Queen Edessa. I have no idea why she did that, nor why she seemed so determined to see me put to death at my trial."

"Hmmm," Catherine mused. "The dagger sounds like a Vulpitanian prank item. It's a normal dagger most of the time; no way to tell no difference. But when you try to backstab somebody with it, then the blade disappears and there ain't nothin but the handle stickin' thar, and yore victim still alive and goin 'Whut? Whut?' Dadgum Vulps; only they'd think such a thang was funny. I swear, if I had a silver crown for every time I've fell for that one .."

I tried not to think of the implications of this, as the Duchess of Daisies muttered and shook her head.

"Another thang I'm minded of by your story is the Red Book of Appin," she continued after a brief pause. "It used to be kept in the Persoc Tor library, and considerin how difficult it'd be to move the durn thang, I reckon it still is. That book tells you ever'thang you'd ever wanna know about magicks and potions, and the third chapter is a chronicle of ALL of history. Anythang important that's happened, or will happen, is in thar. Trouble is, it's written in a peculiar language that only certain ones can read. I could never make heads nor tails of it, but if yore Queen Edessa could read it, and she seen somethin' about you in thar .. well .. That's just MIGHTY INTERESTIN, is what it is .."

She trailed off ominously and stared off into the swamp.

(HG C'OD) Have your moment spoiled when your two idiot son-nephews roar by on their roaches.

The silence was broken by a loud buzzing and crashing through the underbrush, punctuated by cries of "EEEEALAAAA!" as two enormous insects fluttered momentarily above the treetops and the crashed back into the scrub growth.

"BODB! MATHOLWCH!" the Duchess yelled. "YALL GET ON HOME NOW, YOU HEAR? I MEAN IT! QUIT FOOLIN AROUND ON THEM DAMN THANGS!" She leaned back in her chair and looked at me. "Sorry about that. Them boys has been just plain impossible since they found them accursed critters. Worst part is, they's practically impossible to kill."

I stared blankly at Catherine, unsure if she meant her son-cousins or the creatures they were riding.

"Anyhow," she continued. "I'm gettin mighty thirsty sittin here jawin with you. Ain't you gonna be hospitable and offer some refreshments? Could use a bite to eat, too."

(HSH Prince Adler) Stall for a bit of time by offering to whip up not only juleps, but stew.
(HSH Prince Adler) Clarify: NOT Lowfolk Ham Stew.
(Raccoon Femme) Suddenly become alert at the mention of "stew."
(Lemmy) Immediately drop the Lowfolk Ham and break out cutlery at mention of "stew."
(Fifi Fofox) Squeal in excitement at the mention of "stew."
(HG COD) Swish your tail thoughtfully at the mention of stew.

"I don't see why not," I agreed, feeling a bit hungry myself. "Why don't you sit right there, and I'll go see what we have in the kitchen and maybe whip up a batch of stew."



"Did you say stew?" Lemmy asked, suddenly poking his head out the back door of the Outpost.

"Stew?" the raccoon femme added.

"Sounds good to me," SALV Fofox chimed in.

"I've heard good thangs about yore stew, young'un," the Duchess enthused, smacking her lips. "Cain't wait to try it."

Everyone, realize that you have a supply problem. Adler, send someone out to see if there are enough dandelions growing around here to make a decent bowl of salad.
Then swallow your pride and ask the Duchess if she can help in the short run.
Duchess, apport a crate of Usquebaugh. State that's all her help Adler is entitled to for now.

"Unfortunately the cupboard is bare," Ms. Thomson called from inside. "Not a scrap of food anywhere."

"I know you got a great big ol' lowfolk ham," Catherine pointed out.

"As I said, not a scrap of food," Thomson reiterated.

"What, um, does one generally do for provisions around here?" I asked uneasily.

"Well, you can forage," the Duchess explained. "Thangs grow like crazy here in the swamp, and I reckon prob'ly half of it ain't poisonous. You can hunt 'n fish all you want. But mostly what we Antgladers like to do is drop into lowfolk country to get our vittles. They's so gullible. You can eat right well offa them lowfolk if you even halfway know what you're doin."

"I'll, uh, put that on my list of possibilities," I stammered uncomfortably. "Now, if you'll excuse me for a moment, Your Grace, I'll step inside and see for myself what the situation is."

(Fifi Fofox) Hang up some motivational posters.

I scurried into the building, to come face-to-face with Fifi Fofox as she stood back to admire some seditious posters on the wall.

"What's all this?" I asked.

"Motivational posters, silly!" she grinned. "The Young Monocled Patriot can inspire us to, like, do our best for the Republic, and stuff! Isn't he just the best?"

"You realize this is an Imperial outpost, right?"

"Um, yeah? Psh. I knew that."

"I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about the Patriot kicking a crude caricature of my great-uncle in the pants," I declared.

"It's hilarious," Fifi snickered. "Don't take it personally. Young Monocled Patriot kicks a lot of people in the pants. It's like, his thing."

"Oh really? Who? Who else does he kick in the pants"

"Let's see ... King Estmere, King Gawain, King Adler ..."

"What does L.O.L. mean?" I asked, cutting her off before she could recite the entire Imperial succession in reverse.

"Later On, Lardo!" she guffawed.

"Take that one down," I insisted.

(Ms. Thomson) Examine the deceased agent, who has yet to be moved.
(Ms. Thomson) Learn a few things of interest from the body.
the axe and the corpse. Find that what happened is something very surprising.

Meanwhile, Ms. Thomson was inspecting the skeleton of the previous Border Agent.

"We owe him a decent burial," she mused aloud when she saw me watching her. "But it would be good to know exactly what happened to him first. I initially suspected foul play, but on closer inspection, this wound appears to be self-inflicted."

"What? Are you sure?" I asked, incredulous.

"Definitely," Thomson affirmed. "I studied crime-scene forensics in lieu of pole dancing at the Floozy Academy."

Before I could make a quip about Thomson squandering her education on useless frivolities, she grasped the handle of the small hatchet, and pulled it free of the skull.

>As it turns out, that skull is quite talkative.

Immediately the skeleton's jaw popped open and it began to emit a loud, bloodcurdling scream.

"Aw, not this again," the Duchess complained from outside. "He done enough of that awful squallin' already to last me two lifetimes. Carried on for near three weeks til he finally got that hatchet."

>Raccoon: Natasha Jane or Fuzzy Mae. Your choice.

>The Raccoon's name is quite long and filled with titles the likes of which you have never heard of: Mala-Dala-Flim-Flam-Zipper-Zapper-Zork-Jam-A-Lam-A-Dam-A-Bamma-Marcho-Muddy-Rivers DCCLXXXV. Or just Rivers, for short. It's a cultural thing.

>Somebody: Get very frustrated that all the spare storage space has been taken up by Ms. Thomson's preposterously varied and exhaustive weapons collection.

>Ms. Thomson: Add that hatchet to the collection.

>Adler: Show all of these culinary inept fools how a TRUE MASTER goes about whipping up some stew. You may as well be the all-knowing god of stew.

The raccoon gal is meadow mark 2, Nice! Her name is probably a lowfolk farmer name like nigella, poppy or Belladonna(bad trip berry).

adler > make a mental note to look at that red book yourself

Undead Former Border Agent > Moan having a splitting headache. start rattling your bones to shake the dust off
> headache be actually a rat scurrying around in his skull. it pops it head out of a eye socket

UFBA > Chatter your teeth in delight in hearing that your not longer a boarder agent, meaning you are free!

UFBA> Notice the floozies, "ooo!" then notice HG COD "AAAAHHH!" (Hides)

Adler > time to fish & forage, remember to gramye anything you forage safe, before trying it. (montage of adler having less then pleasing reactions)

HG COD > use hand grenade, you got no time tah wait for them fish tah bite
> every thing is covered in fish

Raccoon, have a very long and unusual (as well as embarrassing) name consisting of various verbs, nouns and adjectives that one would never expect to find in a person's name (but still might in some odd object's description). Raccoon's initials, also spell a word that would be considered unusual for a name, but are what most people call her by because it's easier to say than her full one.

Fifi, obey Adler and take down the poster with the Marshal.
Replace it with one featuring Estmere that is magicked in a way that make it seem that the patriot and Estmere are moving when viewed from different angles.
Explain to Adler what the Patriot means to you.

Adler, ask the raccoon and the Fofox if they know how high a roebuck is (I don't remember if he asked the Duchess yet. Ask her as well, if you haven't.). One of the answers, reference mushrooms.
Fifi, be revealed to know a (small) bit about gnostermongers and their philosophy.

Estvan Silverbrush, pook in as if you heard your name being said.

Raccoon, have a very long and unusual (as well as embarrassing) name consisting of various verbs, nouns and adjectives that one would never expect to find in a person's name (but still might in some odd object's description). Raccoon's initials, also spell a word that would be considered unusual for a name, but are what most people call her by because it's easier to say than her full one.

Belladonna Ophelia Busigbrust or "Bob" her lowfolk parents are a mixed bunch from europe.
People tend to sometimes misspell her surname with a 'O' instead of a 'U'
"busigbrost"

>Put the axe back in place, plan to use the skull as a burglar alarm later on.
>Send the assistants to gather root tubers, leafy greens, and a carp. You're going to make a fierce gumbo!
>Use your magick to turn water into mint juleps to keep the Duchess happy.

I just remembered I have a question about a character:

Is Estvan Silverbrush supposed to be a red fox with gray coloured fur, or an actual gray fox (as in species)?

I just remembered I have a question about a character:

Is Estvan Silverbrush supposed to be a red fox with gray coloured fur, or an actual gray fox (as in species)?

He's a grey fox; note that a few times in the Ballad, he's been shown to be an expert climber.

I just remembered I have a question about a character:

Is Estvan Silverbrush supposed to be a red fox with gray coloured fur, or an actual gray fox (as in species)?

He's a grey fox; note that a few times in the Ballad, he's been shown to be an expert climber.

But he has children with Yolanda... And I'm almost 100% sure that Yolanda is a red fox.
And all the data I was able to find state that red and gray foxes can NOT interbreed.

So, just what did he do to manage the feat? Did he simply turn himself into a red fox during the "act"?
And couldn't Estmere use the same method (or have it used on him by Estvan, or someone else) to make an heir instead of having to rely on the Vulpitanians?

And couldn't Estmere use the same method (or have it used on him by Estvan, or someone else) to make an heir instead of having to rely on the Vulpitanians?

I believe the question was already raised since Addler did have Ixie kid while turned into an ixie.

The thing is, Estmere mother has been tainted by the Archfaix arch and so he's not a 'true' elf anymore; we've never seen him use much magick and it's possible he can't do somethign as elaborate as turn himself into somethign else.

Queen Adriesta miiight but she's keeping her secrets well guarded. And anyway estmere will refuse to hump her if she looks anything than an ungulmate due to sisterhood conditioning.(Maybe if he closed his eyes and puckered up buuut.. he seems pretty uncooperative and kinda childish.)

And of course he's surounded by sisterhood ministers who are going to make sure she doesn't do that (since they want Adller on the throne), Vulpitians (who want to destabilize the ampire and i'm wondering if they don't want Addler ont he throne fior their own reason as well)

Also It's been a whiiile (and I really expect we'd hear more about this by now, really) but I remember it was a big deal that the fuma archpriest or something was seriously anti magic, up to the point that he rather let the king die rather than let the doctor use gramayre to neutralize the poison, so there'd be the problem of the legitimacy of the children.

Add to that the fact that elves are pretty unfertile in the first place (that was the whole point, officialy, of the fairfax arc). and yeah, I wouldn't bet on his succession being too numerous.

I honestly admit that I completely forgot about a couple of these points...

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SpoilerShort update, and late too .. because of Easter and the nigh impossibility of getting anything done last week.

>Ms. Thomson: Add that hatchet to the collection.
Undead Former Border Agent > Moan
>Put the axe back in place, plan to use the skull as a burglar alarm later on.

Ms. Thomson replaced the hatchet, and the skull stopped screaming.

"That could be useful," I suggested.

"Yes, but how can I get that hatchet without deafening everyone?" Thomson replied, distractedly.

Fifi, obey Adler and take down the poster with the Marshal.
Explain to Adler what the Patriot means to you.

"Okay, like, I took down that one poster like you said," SALV Fofox declared from the other side of the room. "But you should totally know that the Young Monocled Patriot is like, the unofficial mascot of Vulpitania, or something, and you like, shouldn't diss him and stuff. Every kit wants to be just like the Patriot when they grow up, and every old fox still wishes they could be like him."

"I will only insult your culture when it insults mine," I promised.

>Adler: Show all of these culinary inept fools how a TRUE MASTER goes about whipping up some stew.
Adler > time to fish & forage
>Send the assistants to gather root tubers, leafy greens, and a carp. You're going to make a fierce gumbo!
Fifi, be revealed to know a (small) bit about gnostermongers and their philosophy.

"But right now," I continued, "I need ingredients for stew! Let's go out and gather some potatoes, turnips, plantain, watercress, and mustard! I could also use some tree nuts, and some fish."

"You have a perfectly good ham right here," the small raccoon femme pointed out.

"I .. don't think I can eat that," I whispered.

"I definitely can't eat that," Thomson added. "We should give it a proper burial along with the remains of the previous Border Agent."

"Looks okay to me," Fifi opined. "Smells great. And besides, since like, all is ham anyway, you'll totally be eating this whether you eat any of it or not."

"What does that mean?" I asked suspiciously.

"Dunno," the vixen shrugged. "It's just some Gnoster stuff from back home in Lengra-Cha. But, so, like, I don't know what any of that stuff you said looks like, so I'll just stay here and tidy up while the rest of you guys forage."

"I suppose I could look for edible greens," Thomson offered. "But I must stay close by Prince Adler."

"Oh yeah, I gotta like, do that too," Fifi agreed enthusiastically.

"It is my duty to accompany the Agent as well," the raccoon femme explained.

"Fine," I sighed. "You can forage around me while I catch some fish. Um, is there a pole around here somewhere?"

"Reckon Karen's got one in the boat, sugar," Duchess Catherine called from the porch.



"Go not into the water, Sire," a small voice insisted in my Elfmind. "Step not into Karen's boat. The edge of the swamp is the true border of the Duchess's domain, and once thou enterest, thou wilt be under her power as long as she hath her regalia."

"On second thought, it might be best to forage for plants first," I decided.

>Use your magick to turn water into mint juleps to keep the Duchess happy.

I stepped out into the front yard of the Listening Post and surveyed the ground. There was nothing but grass and rank weeds (which might have been edible for Thomson, but not for the rest of us) and a small patch of wild mint.

"Hmmm," I mused out loud. "I don't think ham with mint sauce would be very good."

"You could use it to make juleps," the raccoon femme suggested.

>Raccoon: Natasha Jane or Fuzzy Mae.
>The Raccoon's name is quite long and filled with titles the likes of which you have never heard of: Mala-Dala-Flim-Flam-Zipper-Zapper-Zork-Jam-A-Lam-A-Dam-A-Bamma-Marcho-Muddy-Rivers DCCLXXXV. Or just Rivers, for short.
The raccoon gal is meadow mark 2, Nice! Her name is probably a lowfolk farmer name like nigella, poppy or Belladonna
Raccoon, have a very long and unusual name that one would never expect to find in a person's name. Raccoon's initials, also spell a word that would be considered unusual for a name, but are what most people call her by because it's easier to say than her full one.
Belladonna Ophelia Busigbrust

"BURNSIDE!" Duchess Catherine yelled from the other side of the building. "Did you say juleps?"

"Yes'm, I did," the raccoon called back. "There's a nice patch of mint out front here."

"Your name is Burnside?" I asked, over the clamor of the Duchess as she ordered Karen to fetch up a jug of Usquebaugh.

"My full name is Beladonna Uma Rivers Natasha Sideways Ingrid Dharma Excelsior," the raccoon explained wearily. "But my initials spell out Burnside, so that's what most people call me."

"Well, Burnside, it looks like we're going to have to travel farther afield to find anything edible." I picked a handful of mint and walked back through the building to address the Duchess. "Your Grace, the stew is going to be delayed while I search for ingredients."

"Fix me a mint julep," she said, handing me a stoneware jug, "and I'll just set right here and be just as good as I can be til y'all get back. I recommend goin' to the lowfolk world to get your vittles. Save you a lot of time. There's usually somethin' good waitin' right close to the Gates on their side. And our elf magick works better over there too. Any Gate round here will do; just enter it widdershins, and come back through the exact same way."

I pulled my Elfin Bow out of my Elfintory and led a small party consisting of Ms. Thomson, SALV Fofox, and Attache Burnside on a short trudge through the scrubby woods back to the Gate.



We passed through the Gate and emerged in a circle of stones. In the center of the circle was a tall wooden post with a blond-haired bunny tied to it. More bunnies were standing apprehensively just outside the stone circle.

>Take this opportunity to scare them a little for your own amusement. It's been that kind of day.

Or

>"Alright, hand over your wallets!"

>"Sorry, just passing through, never mind us, have a good day ta-ta!"

Adler > Snap reaction, elfjump on a standing stone and elfshot everyone stupid
Adler > Release the easter maiden
Easter maiden > Tell adler its a easter sunday tradition to appease the malicious entity from the elf gate (the duchess) in return for a good carrot harvest. she was not a willing volunteer.
Easter Maiden > Be a superb botanist, help find the ingredients in a quarter of the time it would of taken adler & co

Percy, be far better prepared to deal with elves this time. Be warded against every elvish trick you could find in stories, as well as a couple you think they might pull on you.

Adler's party, be mistaken for supernatural entities from another world. Percy, be the only one of the lowfolk to recognize the elves for what they truly are. Do not be believed.

Easter Maiden, consider it to be a great honour to be sacrificed by an actual deity from beyond the Gate, since due to the local beliefs, her spirit will be taken by the deity to the Spring Goddess's own palace where she will be then get to frolic with other spirits for all eternity as a reward for her devotion. Absolutely refuse to be left unsacrificed, having already relinquished all of your worldly possessions and spent the past month rehearsing your death.
Adler's party, debate whether you should take her with you through the gate in order to appease her and the other lowfolk here.
Burnside, suggest rabbit stew as a lunch option.

Ceremonial dagger, be presented. Adler, realize to your surprise that it's of elfish manufacture.

Priest, hand the dagger over to... Thomson, whom the lowfolk rabbits believe to be the actual Spring Goddess. Adler and Fifi, due to your almost completely white fur, be believed to be evil winter deities in thrall to her, or, more specifically, Fifi is believed to be the goddess of avalanches, while Adler is believed to be the god of foul odours.
Burnside, be believed to be a trickster imp due to your small size and childlike appearance.

> So are you guys into some weird fetish stuff or..?