The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

(Lupine Voice from the Gallery) Immediately offer to act as a second for the mud wrestling.
(Vulpine Voice from the Gallery #1) Immediately offer to the act as a second for the mud wrestling, and hold the defendant's clothes for him.
(Minister Lynne) Point out that the defendant, since he is not a Floozie, is not the one wrestling.
(Assorted Flunkies) Attempt to find out where the Royal Dancing Pole has gone since it was last used in King Sartorius' time.
(Prosecuting Floozie) Be extremely confident that the King-Emperor-Judge will choose YOUR specialty. Taunt your opposition without mercy.
(Defending Floozie) Take the taunting grimly. But come up with a plan.
(HSH Prince Adler) For the lack of anything to do, look at Fifi Fofox's card.
(Fifi Fofox's card) Be rather dazzling and intricate in your depiction of "8"
(HSH Prince Adler) Be HYP-no-TIZED!
(King-Judge-Emperor) Receive advice from the Queen as to the combat to be used by the Floozies.
(Floozies) Be gobsmacked as to what the Queen suggests...and the King agrees!
(Lupine Voice from the Gallery) Cheer the result...improbably, it's even BETTER than you suggested!

Estmere, go with the suggestion of the floozy that shows the most confidence.

Adler, watch in horror as the contest proceeds.
Examine the "8" card just so that you don't have to keep looking at the combatants going against one another. Realize that the number might not be "8" at all, but rather "infinity".
Fofox's card, have an actual means of contacting the said vulpine. Adler, accidentally activate the function.
Fofox, believe that's another sign that he badly wants you.

Contest, be interrupted by something completely unexpected and beyond the control of anybody present.. Estmere and Thompson, be angered. Adler and Thomson, be relieved.

>As being mere suggestions, neither ends up getting chosen. Time for Gladiatorial Combat!

>Ms Thomson: As it turns out, your collection of weapons are very helpful during the trial and perfectly legal.

>Gladiatorial Combat: Be conducted in traditional attire, i.e. a couple of leather straps and that's about it.

>Fuma's gift of luck: Tips the scales at a critical moment
>Somethign about he 'Mistake': be mentioned
>Plot: Advance, pretty please.

Estmere > suspend adler as hand temporary and order him to "vacation". Think the stress of the job is to blame for adlers vandalism, order him also to not to come back until hes unstressed.

Adler > protest!

Estmere > tell adler its ether that or "Dungeon time bro!"

(its dungeon time! come on bring your friends, were going on a long stretch in, dungeon land! with jake the killer and fin the shanker, the soap dropping will never end, its dungeon time.)

Estmere > appoint Theronmyathus as acting hand until further notice

Lynne & o'Doe > be relived of court outcome and assign a floozie to accompany adler on vacation. she will have the power to say yay or nay if adler can return.

Adler > hand in your hat and sceptor and go "vacation" moping

>Plot: Advance, pretty please.

Not to be rude, but this please!

>Plot: Advance, pretty please.

Not to be rude, but this please!

I agree with the above, but first I really want to see Adler lose horribly and be sentenced to to a very unpleasant (but obviously not capital or permanent) punishment. (To be more specific, in my opinion, the best punishment for him is to be extradited to Vulpitania - Let the Vulps' legal system handle him for now on. At least for a while.)

Show Content

Spoiler

>Plot: Advance, pretty please.
Not to be rude, but this please!

"Perhaps you didn't realize this is what has been happening for the past few weeks."

Wolf queen > is excited!
>Adler: Reconsider the unbuttoning shirt plan in desperation.
(Lupine Voice from the Gallery) Immediately offer to act as a second for the mud wrestling.
(Vulpine Voice from the Gallery #1) Immediately offer to the act as a second for the mud wrestling, and hold the defendant's clothes for him.
(Minister Lynne) Point out that the defendant, since he is not a Floozie, is not the one wrestling.

"Hudalaleigh!" the alleged Wolf Queen exclaimed from the gallery. "Sure an' if it's mud wrestlin' I offer meself to act as second for one o' the combatants! The Wolf Queen fights for justice!"

"I'll like, second for Prince Adler," SALV Fofox chimed in. "And like, totally hold his clothes for him."

"The defendant is not a Floozy and will not be a combatant in this test," Minister Lynne pointed out.

I nervously fidgeted with my jacket buttons. Hadn't Ms. Thomson said earlier that pole dancing was her weakness? If Estmere picked that, I might be in serious trouble! Perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea for me to try to distract the opposing Floozy after all .. any advantage I could gain might make the difference!

"Please advise the Prince," Queen Edessa asked Estmere, loudly, "that he must not exert his supposed 'sick Irenaeid mojo' to affect the outcome of this contest."

"Keep your shirt on, Bro," Estmere said with a wink.

Estmere > "POLE DANCING!" Estmere cries and raises his fists with excitement.
>What a silly question, this will be settled with the noble art of pole ... dancing
find out where the Royal Dancing Pole has gone since it was last used in King Sartorius' time.
Combat: Be conducted in traditional attire, i.e. a couple of leather straps and that's about it.

"It's not gonna be mud wrestling anyway, dudes and dudettes," Estmere guffawed. "It's gonna be POLE DANCING all the way! OOOH YEEEAAAAAH!!! You two ladies strip down to your smallclothes, and somebody bring in great-grandpa Sartorius' Royal Dancing Pole! WOOOOO!!"

The crowd in the gallery erupted into wild applause. Ms. Thomson cast a nervous glance at me, and then at Minister Lynne, who shook her head sternly.

"Prosecution goes first," Estmere declared, as the pole was secured in place.

Someone in the gallery began strumming a lute, and someone else joined in on a shawm, and Miss Thompson leaped gracefully onto the pole and began twirling as if gravity had no effect on her. Ms. Thomson shivered and looked suddenly ill.

Adler > inspecting the 8 card you see it lavishly designed with patterns and gold. but theres nothing else but a 8 in the middle of it
(HSH Prince Adler) For the lack of anything to do, look at Fifi Fofox's card.
(Fifi Fofox's card) Be rather dazzling and intricate in your depiction of "8"
Adler, watch in horror as the contest proceeds.
Examine the "8" card just so that you don't have to keep looking at the combatants going against one another.

I couldn't watch this. Desperate for something to divert my attention, I pulled SALV Fofox's card out of my Elfintory. It was elegantly illuminated, but bore no information beyond the number 8 written boldly in the center. I stared at it intently but could not puzzle out its meaning.

Fofox, believe that's another sign that he badly wants you.

"Wow," the vixen murmured behind me. "There's these hot Floozies on the hoof, performing like, totally lascivious dances in front of you, but instead you're staring at my number. Smitten much?"

"Uh, what?" I retorted suavely.

"Sssh, don't spoil the moment," she whispered back.

Miss Thompson spun slowly down the pole and alighted daintily on her hooves. With a smirk at Ms. Thomson, she strutted back to her table and leaned against it. "By my opponent I doubt I'll be bested," she called out smugly. "Let the record state the Prosecution rested."

"Your turn then," Estmere said, gesturing at Thomson.

>Ms Thomson: As it turns out, your collection of weapons are very (un)helpful

She approached the pole slowly, with a sad, lingering look at her collection of weapons on the table. "Wrestling would have been better," she groaned.



The music started, and Thomson grabbed the pole. She took a few running steps and attempted to launch herself into a spin, but somehow one of her horns got hooked on the pole. It made a harsh scraping sound which drowned out the gallery's collective gasp of horror as she twirled around the pole a few times and then collapsed in a tangle on the floor.

"Well, that sucked," Estmere declared. "Is the pole okay? Sounds like she totally scratched the crap out of it."

(King-Judge-Emperor) Receive advice from the Queen

"We have a clear victor!" Edessa declared loudly. "Fuma has chosen, and justice is vindicated! For his crimes, Adler Young deserves the penalty of DEATH!"

"Whoah," Estmere exclaimed, taken aback. "Chill. Seriously, Edessa, babe .. sometimes it's like I don't even know you."

"The trial shows him guilty of treasonous charges," Edessa insisted.

"No, the trial shows that his Floozy can't pole dance worth a damn," Estmere corrected. "It doesn't prove anything else. I chose Trial by Floozy because I was getting bored and wanted to wrap this up."

"And according to the rules of Trial by Floozy, Adler has been found guilty," the Queen hissed.

"Oh. Bummer. Sorry Bro, I guess I effed that one up," Estmere retorted gloomily. "Wait a sec, isn't there some rule where, like, you can't sentence a royal dude to death?"

>Fuma's gift of luck: Tips the scales at a critical moment
>Somethign about he 'Mistake': be mentioned

"That is a rule except in cases of treason," Minister Lynne interjected. "However, it has not been formally established that the charges against the defendant were treasonous in nature. Even if they were, Your Majesty has the option of imposing prison time or exile instead of a capital sentence. Once imposed, the death sentence obviously cannot be revoked. In order to prevent a dreadful Mistake, Sire, it were best not to act rashly in this matter."

"See there?" Estmere quipped. "That's why she's the Chief Minister. Is there someplace my lil' Bro can go where he will be out of harm's way until like, the SALVs are done with their deal and all of this has blown over?"

"The Antglade Diplomatic Listening Post is, at present, unstaffed," the Minister replied.

the best punishment for him is to be extradited to Vulpitania - Let the Vulps' legal system handle him

"Nein!" a voice rang out from the gallery. "Zis dastardly criminal must not be shunted off into zum remote sinecure! Zis is tantamount to revardink him for his zinister actions against Vulpitanian national interests! He must be extradited to Vulpitania to schtand trial!"

"Yeah right," Estmere scoffed. "You must think I'm pretty dumb to fall for that one, but I know Vulpitania totally doesn't have its own judicial system. Yeah, I studied Statecraft! Eat it!! Oh, and also, order."

"I have no objection to posting him on the Antglade border," Edessa mused. "No, as far as I know, there's no problem with that. The survival rate of border agents is very low."

Estmere > suspend adler as hand temporary and order him to "vacation". Think the stress of the job is to blame for adlers vandalism, order him also to not to come back until hes unstressed.
Estmere > tell adler its ether that or "Dungeon time bro!"
Lynne & o'Doe > be relived of court outcome and assign a floozie to accompany adler on vacation. she will have the power to say yay or nay if adler can return.
I really want to see Adler lose horribly and be sentenced to to a very unpleasant (but obviously not capital or permanent) punishment.

"Whatevs," Estmere shrugged. "Okay, Bro. I don't know why you did the stuff and got yourself in trouble, but I'm thinkin' you look pretty stressed. So I am sending you to chill for a while at the Antglade border thingy. I think this means you'll be, like some kind of agent, so I will have to like revoke your appointment as Hand of the King. Turn in your regalia to the bailiff on your way out. Don't give me that look, dude, it's either this or dungeon time, and I don't think you want that. Say hi to Duchess O'Daisies for me, she seemed really nice when we met - oh, and if you can get ahold of some Persoc-Itoome, send me a couple of bottles, all right?"



"He will need a Supervising Floozy to accompany him and make sure he stays on his best behavior," Minister Lynne declared. "I recommend Ms. Thomson for this task."

"The one who failed to defend him?" Edessa exclaimed. "You cannot be suggesting that we send this incompetent to watch over an elf who is patently a dangerous enemy of the Empire?"

"Babe, chill," Estmere chided. "Thomson is a good Floozy. Terrible dancer, sure, but aside from that, she's cool."

"I shall do my best to atone for my failure this day," Thomson sighed gloomily.

"Ooh, ooh," SALV Fofox interjected, waving her hand. "Since there's like, SOO much Vulpitanian interest in the Prince, I mean like, his CASE - there's gotta be a SALV along as an, um adjunct? Adjutant? Adjective? Something like that. I volunteer to like, represent the Republic, or whatever."

"HUSSY!" a voice called from across the room.

"Sorry, SALV, I already totally called it," Fifi smirked. "Snooze you lose."

>Adler: Edessa seems to really have it in for you. Wonder why?
>SALV Fofox: If you're going to be a Diplomatic Hussy, you'll have to dress the part.
>Supervising Floozy Thomson: The smallclothes look suits you. Stick with it.

>Timeskip to a couple weeks later. Meet Adler in dungarees cradling a jug of moonshine, dreading what the Duchess has in store for today. Yesterday it was a plague of ticks, the day before that a rabid weasel in the lavatory.
>Today's surprise: Flesh-eating bacteria.

I like Fifi, she's really cute!

Montage of the horrible occurrences during the coach trip to the Antglade border, happen.
Trip, be troubled by the weather, gaps, bandits, lousy company, bad road conditions, coach mechanical problems, food issues and a certain stowaway stowing away.

SALV Fofox, take your role as Adler's "Adjective" very seriously. Or as seriously as you're actually capable of.
Adler, realize that SALV Fofox can be quite useful once you get past her behaviour around you. Or her constant complaints about the weather.
What does Fofox's "SALV" stand for, exactly?

A mysterious message, be waiting for Adler at the listening post.
Listening post, actually include a device for hearing things on the other side of the border.

Lemuel, be quite happy where you are. Get curious when you discover that the listening post is manned again. Be pleasantly surprised when you discover just who is manning it.

Listening post, be discretely observed by multiple parties.

>Adler: Take this time to contemplate over the mistakes you've made and where you've gone wrong. How did it all come to this? Good help is so hard to find these days.

> Ms. Thomson: In accordance with elf law, the failing legal party (meaning: you) must wear a silly hat of shame until further notice as punishment for your courtroom blundering. It is very real and very fair.

>Addler: Despite your disgrace and current assignement, as you are relaxing in a rocking chair, do admit that the time off /was needed (also you're seriously not missing the hat)

(Sure the local unseelie do occsionaly try to play prank on you, and eventualy may outright try to murder one day you but hey compared to place intruigues those are small potatoes)

>The time off is also a great time for reflection... of revenge. The vulpitians have alway been a thorn, but the Queeen didn't even try to conceal the fact she was after you head here

(A zeal to see justice done who has nothing to do with the fact that since Estmere legitimized you, you might be an obstacle to inherit the throne should your borther have an unfortunate incident, we're sure)

>Far from the palace you're a lot harder to keep track on so profit from that to sneak off your outpost regularly.

>Discreetly contact your uncle, the old Marshal by coded missive to talk to him about the Vulpitian plot and whatever it is the Quuen's brewing.

The Antglade Diplomatic Listening Post >> be a total wreck, the whole place looks like it was hastily abandoned

Adler & ms thomson> look at the out post in horror, ms thomson starts crying

Fifi fofox > Be like totally chipper about it and get to work renovating the place

Adler > see the skeleton of the last border agent in the office with a ax embedded in its skull

ixie > return adler the gem

adler > remember what you saw in the lab foxes dream. the gem was feed to a scuti. what if you put the gem in your mouth (dont swallow) and meditate?

What does Fofox's "SALV" stand for, exactly?

synergy adjacent lively vixen ?

(Montage of Trip) Occur.
(Imperial & Royal Gladsome Antglade Listening Post [IRGALP]) Be semi-derelict.
(HSH Prince Adler) Be shown by loyal (?) and sane (?) retainer to your new quarters.
(Quarters) Have a hammock, an empty Persoc-Itoome cooler, and that's about the lot.
(Three-Hole) Be out back a piece, yonder. Have a box of corncobs handy.
(Fifi Fofox) Claim that your role mandates you share the hammock.
(Supervising Floozie) Adjust your Supervising Floozie outfit, and dispute that assertion.
(HSH Prince Adler) Change into a white linen suit, white shirt, black string bow-tie and straw hat.
(Feral Chickens) Run away in fright at the sight of Adler dressed like that.
(Gladsome Antglade Spy) Welcome the Prince to the neutral zone.
(G.A.S.) Present Prince Adler with a welcoming ham, courtesy of C O'D.
(Ham) Be so disturbing in form, even Fifi has third thoughts about a slice.
(Ham) At an appropriate time, start delivering a garbled message.
(Message) For some odd reason, include a number of frog noises.
(HSH Prince Adler) Ponder the message while drinking a mint julep. Or two. Or three.

Ham > see a tag attached to it with a seal of approve stating "made with 100% long pork sourced from the low realms"

Adler > You don't know what long pork is but you will not eat anything made by lowfolk. you have standards you know

fifi fox & thomson > Know exactly what it is when adler said "long pork", throw it out

Gator elf > Be smacked in the face with ham. "A FEAST!!" gobble it up

Adler > check out the listening equipment. the Telescope, the Smell o scope and the Ear a scope

fifi fox & thomson > Know exactly what it is when adler said "long pork", throw it out

Fifi, only discover what "long pork" is after already eating a sizable chunk of the ham. Have a very natural reaction to the revelation.

Also, Fifi, do your best to make the "bedroom" livable. Including covering at least one wall with motivational posters (of questionable motivational quality) featuring the Young Monocled Patriot, much to Adler's annoyance (as well as curiosity).

Estvan, pook into the courtroom. Glare angrily at the "Wolf Queen". Accuse her of stealing your staff.
Unseen assassin, strike.
Estmere, be killed. Estmere's corpse, be revealed to be an automaton, not unlike Alice's body.
Everyone, be shocked. Panic, happen. Queen, accuse Adler of conspiring with the assassin.

Real Estmere, be watching the whole thing through a scrying apparatus from your secret underground fortress. Laugh a most manic laughter. Everything is going according to plan!

Show Content

Spoiler April fools.

>Adler: Edessa seems to really have it in for you. Wonder why?
>Adler: Take this time to contemplate over the mistakes you've made and where you've gone wrong. How did it all come to this? Good help is so hard to find these days.
ixie > return adler the gem
adler > remember what you saw in the lab foxes dream. the gem was feed to a scuti. what if you put the gem in your mouth (dont swallow) and meditate?

As I made hurried preparations for a trip down the river to the Gladsome Antglade, I thought about the sequence of events that had led up to this point.

In my capacity as Right Hand of the King, I welcomed two Vulpitanian thaumaturgists to Albric Tor - supposedly so they could research Elfin fertility in an effort to enable the mismatched pair of King Estmere and Queen Edessa to produce an heir. However, I subsequently learned that the contract (drafted by members of the Sisterhood in the King's Cabinet) actually instructed the SALVs to produce a sire for the King. My intelligence-gathering network (consisting mainly of Ixies and a potted plant) informed me that the SALVs were attempting to change history so that my half-brother Estmere (already part lowfolk due to his mother having gone through Evan Klive's dastardly Ferifax Arch before Estmere was ever born) would have never been an elf at all. This would undermine, perhaps completely negate, the legitimacy of the Imperial throne and pave the way for ... I wasn't sure what, but Vulpitanian revolt seemed like a good possibility.

I had to stop this Unseelie plot! Unfortunately, other forces arrayed themselves against me. The Sisterhood, it seems, wanted the SALVs to succeed - since they have never considered Estmere to be a proper elf and favor me, a full-blooded descendant of Irenaeus, to occupy the throne instead. The Vulpitanians have always had their own inscrutable Plans; they can never be trusted under any circumstances. A pair of Scuti possessing the bodies of Alice Chetsweeks and Mara Supial attempted to capture me, but when that failed they decided to help me in my attempt to simultaneously thwart the Vulpitanians and the Sisterhood, and save my brother the King. Alice told me a very upsetting tale of how the first Scuti had been born when the first High King, Irenaeus, had tried to preserve his severed tail with powerful magicks. The Scuti bore royal blood! (If the story was true..)

Meanwhile, Queen Edessa seemed to have perpetrated a bizarre phony assassination attempt against me, and then spearheaded the prosecution after I was caught sneaking out of the SALVs' laboratory. The Vulpitanians had been asleep, thanks to my clever application of special herbs & spices to their meal. While I was there, I jumbled up their chemicals and broke a clay tablet with the name of the Old Crow engraved on it. In a scrying bowl which showed me the Vulpitanians' dreams, I saw Rotnev Nidab take a gem from inside the tablet and feed it to a Scuti. I found that gem and stole it, along with a Scuti in a jar.

After I was arrested, but before I was interrogated, I managed to give the gem to one of my Ixie daughters. I could only hope she took it somewhere safe. Oddly, when questioned by the Prosecution during my trial, Rotnev stated that nothing important was missing from the lab. The trial dragged on, without the Prosecutor making much headway in proving the nebulous semi-treasonous charges against me. My Defense Floozy assured me things were going well for us, until Estmere got bored and declared Trial By Floozy. My counsel lost the pole-dancing contest, which rendered a technical Guilty verdict. The Queen wanted me executed, but Estmere declared I should be exiled to a diplomatic listening post on the edge of the Antglade.

"So now here I am, cast out of the Capital in disgrace" I thought glumly as I surrendered my Hand regalia to the bailiff and accepted a bundle containing the uniform of an Antglade Border Agent.

>Timeskip to a couple weeks later.
Trip, be troubled by the .. gaps .. bad road conditions
(Montage of Trip) Occur.

The trip South was delayed by a full day due to Gaps which entirely cut off all routes from Albric Tor to Gladsome Antglade. Queen Edessa absolutely refused to allow me and my small entourage to travel overland, whether by coach or foot or boat. It would have required a sojourn through lowfolk country to bypass the Gaps, which - according to her - provided too ample an opportunity for me to escape.

She and Sir Ravenmad put their heads together and spent most of the evening in the Map Room, poring over old navigation codices and charting Gap distribution until they had calculated a route using ancient elvish Gates. The next morning I was handed a scroll containing detailed directions. The courier gave a copy to Ms. Thomson, along with a simple scrying device with which she was requred to check in at regular intervals. If Thomson failed to scry at the appointed time, or if we deviated from the route, then troops would be sent after us, with instructions to kill. We were also told that the route would only work in one direction. To return to the Capital would require calculating another route, and none of my party knew enough about the old Gate network to do that.

The Antglade Diplomatic Listening Post >> be a total wreck, the whole place looks like it was hastily abandoned
(Imperial & Royal Gladsome Antglade Listening Post [IRGALP]) Be semi-derelict.

After six Gate jumps we arrived on a low hilltop just upstream from the start of the Antglade. We walked a mile or two along a jungly, half-overgrown path until we entered a clearing and beheld the Gladsome Antglade Diplomatic Listening Post.



It was an extremely tiny one-and-a-half story building with a veranda running all the way around it, all of which was in much better condition than I expected - considering that it had been abandoned for years since the previous Border Agent disappeared.

>SALV Fofox: If you're going to be a Diplomatic Hussy, you'll have to dress the part.
>Supervising Floozy Thomson: The smallclothes look suits you. Stick with it.
SALV Fofox, take your role as Adler's "Adjective" very seriously. Or as seriously as you're actually capable of.
Adler, realize that SALV Fofox can be quite useful
What does Fofox's "SALV" stand for, exactly?
> Ms. Thomson: In accordance with elf law, the failing legal party (meaning: you) must wear
Fifi fofox > Be like totally chipper about it and get to work renovating the place
(HSH Prince Adler) Change into a white linen suit, white shirt, black string bow-tie and straw hat.

"Cute lil' place," SALV Fofox commented. "It just needs like, a vixen's touch and it'll be totally perfect."

"It's so small," I murmured, staring at the building and absentmindedly fanning myself. "There can't be but just one room inside. Is the Agent supposed to work AND live there?"

Thomson merely stared in gloomy silence at the tiny shack.

"Let's go in and look around," Fifi suggested brightly. "There's probably like, lots of cleaning up to do if it's been empty for so long."

"You're taking this remarkably well," I observed.

"Well, um, YEAH," she smirked. "I like, volunteered, remember? If I'm gonna be like, your duly appointed SALV then I'm totally gonna take my responsibilities like, all serious and stuff."

"What do your letter of rank stand for?" I asked curiously.

"Check it out! I got promoted to Special Adjuvant Lamprophonous Vedette. How cool is that?"

"Nice," I said, not having a clue what any of that meant.

"Now c'mon! Let's check out the Post! We gotta sweep and dust, and I've got like tons of motivational posters to put up."

We climbed the front steps and opened the door.

A mysterious message, be waiting for Adler at the listening post.
Adler > see the skeleton of the last border agent in the office with a ax embedded in its skull
(Fifi Fofox) Claim that your role mandates you share the hammock.
(Supervising Floozie) Adjust your Supervising Floozie outfit, and dispute that assertion.
Fifi, do your best to make the "bedroom" livable.

The shack was, as I suspected, a single room. One half of it contained a small kitchen with a washbasin and a wood-burning stove. The other half was almost filled by a bulky desk with a chair on either side of it. A skeleton with a small axe embedded in its skull slumped in one of the chairs.

"That solves the mystery of what happened to the previous Agent," Ms. Thomson observed grimly.

"Does," I gulped. "Does anybody else suspect .. foul play?"

"Nah, head-axings happen all the time," Fifi remarked dismissively. "I'll get that pile of bones out of here when I clean. OOH!" She pointed excitedly upward, into the half-loft above, where a hammock was strung precariously between the roof beams. "Just big enough for two! Looks like that's where we'll be sleeping, Adler muh man."

"How dare you presume to share His Highness's hammock?" Ms. Thomson objected, brandishing her parasol for emphasis. "That is MY responsibility."

"Nuh-uh," Fifi fired back. "I've been deputed by the Republic of Vulpitania to monitor this Cute & Dangerous Offender, which means I totally gotta keep my eyes and whatever else I can on him at all times. Which means especially at night, coz when it's dark it's like, prime sneakin-around time."

Lemuel, be quite happy where you are. Get curious when you discover that the listening post is manned again. Be pleasantly surprised when you discover just who is manning it.
(Gladsome Antglade Spy) Welcome the Prince to the neutral zone.

Before this argument could develop further, we were interrupted by a shrill whistle and a hoarse voice calling "HOWDY IN THAR!"

We ran out onto the back veranda to see a rickety-looking wooden flat boat sliding among the weeds in a shallow marsh just a few yards away from the back of the Listening Post. Karen the Boatperson stood in the prow and solemnly grappled her pole as she maneuvered the boat into position. Two figures hunched behind her on the floor of the boat. The stern was taken up by a huge ornate wicker throne, upon which sat Duchess Catherine O'Daisies, languidly fanning herself in the sticky swamp air.

"Well, well, if it ain't Prince Adler his own self," she purred. "How you been, sugar? I heard you was comin, so I figured I'd get myself all gussied up an' pay a formal call. I reckon you ain't seen me in my Regalia, have you? Whatcha thank?"

"It's um .. impressive," I stammered. She seemed to be wearing a suit of bright red flannel underwear with frilly lace at the collar, wrists, and ankles.

"You seem a lil' anxious," the Duchess observed with a note of concern. "Somethin' the matter? All tuckered out from the trip, maybe? Or, I bet I know what it is - you done met your predeceaser in thar. Heh heh. Paid him a lil' ol' personal call too. But don't you worry none. Head-axe ain't catchin', an' yer much too purty anyway. For now all I done is brung ya some presents. Here's your very own personal Antglade Spy to watch ever'thang you do an' report back to me, an' here's your official Antglade Attache to staff the other side o' that thar desk."

"It will be an honor spying on you, Your Highness," Lemmy said with a tip of his hat. "And it's nice to see you again. I can't wait to get all caught up on what's been happening."

The small raccoon femme simply nodded at me and said nothing.

>The time off is also a great time for reflection... of revenge. The vulpitians have alway been a thorn, but the Queeen didn't even try to conceal the fact she was after you head here
>Far from the palace you're a lot harder to keep track on so profit from that
(G.A.S.) Present Prince Adler with a welcoming ham, courtesy of C O'D.
Ham > see a tag attached to it with a seal of approve stating "made with 100% long pork sourced from the low realms"

"I also brung ya a shackwarmin' gift," the Duchess continued. "It's a genuine usquebaugh-cured lowfolk ham. Dee-licious! Lemmy, tote that thang on into the Station now. The Prince and I got matters to discuss. I'm real, REAL interested, Adler honey, to hear how you done got the Vulpitanians an' the Sisterhood an' the Queen all mad at ya at the same time. Specially the Queen, that's extry fascinatin'. Seems like you 'n me's got more in common than either of us figured, so let's us just set a spell an' chew the fat."

She smiled ingratiatingly from her chair as Lemmy splashed out of the water and lugged an enormous misshapen ham across the lawn. The small raccoon femme clambered out of the boat and waded through the marsh weeds after him.

"The Station sets on neutral territory," the Duchess explained after a long pause. "I ain't allowed to leave the Antglade, but I can come set on your back stoop."

I blinked at her for a few additional seconds.

"You gotta invite me, honey," she clarified.

>Adler: Decide whether or not you're going to be a gentleelf towards the Duchess.
>Water: Look inviting.
>SALV FoFox: Go for a swim in Regulation SALV Swimming Attire.

Adler> she cant enter neutral ground with out being invited? This is like a requirement for a vampire to enter someones home.... or maybe a diplomatic courtesy thing hmm dont want to tick her off tho *look back as the skeleton of the last boarder agent is unceremoniously thrown out*

Duchess Catherine O'Daisies > retrieve your ax from the skull and lovely caress it as you remember the good times

Adler > ask where the spy and the official Antglade Attache are going to sleep, the outpost doesn't have space for them.

Adler > ask Duchess Catherine O'Daisies about the magic that binds her to antglade and who bound her

Adler > ask if its possible to set up a trade agreement for Persoc-Itoome to be sent home to estmere

Adler > inspect the raccoon femme

>As many people as possible end up in the water, intentional or otherwise.

>Unfortunately, the water is full of leeches, electric eels, and low-quality boots.

>As it turns out, that skull is quite talkative. It has a bit of an ego to boot.

>Invite for the afternoon, should be jsut enough to get a tea a,d some good old fashion plotting going.

>you definitively need to talkj about the queen , what's her game here ?

>Include Marshal Theo and Avogadro int he target to take revenge on, minor one but still...

>A single cabin for the three of you was already small but if Lemmy join as well..., you're gonna need another cabin and at least two more beds. Which ll be long and hard work to build buuut some judiciuous grammayre might help with that