The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

(Thomson) Ask to see Avogadro's warrant to search HSH's Elfintory.
(Avogadro) Splutter and fume.
(Marshal) Indicate that you [Marshal] have the warrant. Give same to the Floozie-at-Law.
(Marshal's Floozie) (!)(*) Search Prince Adler. Make it very ticklish.
(Elfintory) Yield up Fauxfox's medal and monocle.
(Elfintory) Yield up some very gross bits of dried mushroom and shower-stall leavings.
(HSH Prince Adler) Be on the verge of explaining the Elfintory.
(Floozie-at-Law) Silence Prince Adler emphatically, as only a Floozie-at-Law can do.
(Interrogation) Be interrupted by a very drunken cervine Floozie.
(Doris Saltlick) Be arrested for interfering.
(HSH Prince Adler) Be returned, oddly, to your cell immediately after your Elfintory is searched.
(Cell opposite) Be empty of Ratso. Be filled with very drunken cervine Floozie.

*(Marshal's Floozie) Be a surprisingly attractive and graceful bird, dressed in expensive good taste.

> Take out the cutters, Ms.thompson explains its for gardening and not cutting off someones tail

Avogadro & Theronmyathus > gasp as the tail is taken out, then remember its a false one. Explained as a souvenir from athstead

> take out the bow. Archery graduation gift

> take out the hand hat. put it back as it cant be taken from adler unless the king removes him as hand of the king.

Avogadro & Theronmyathus > see the dried mushroom remains and shower clippings. comment that alder may have a hoarding problem.

Avogadro > see fauxfox's medal and monocle, become enraged, thinking adler has done something foul to her

> before the vulpertain pass is taken out, saltlick interrupts causing everyone to look at her. ms thompson swipes the pass from adlers elfintory.

>Adler: Deny conspiring against the empire (you were conspiring against the vulpitanians, the sexy, sexy vulpitanians).
>Thompson: Suddenly find your seating position uncomfortable. Is this guy for real?

Thompson: Suddenly find your seating position uncomfortable. Is this guy for real?

She's a floozy, she's probably used to that kind of thing. (especialy seeing as compared to kind estmere, addler is likely a model of calm and collected)

She's a floozy, she's probably used to that kind of thing. (especialy seeing as compared to kind estmere, addler is likely a model of calm and collected)

I think the phrase you're looking for is "modestly endowed"?

I think the phrase you're looking for is "modestly endowed"?

So adlers the little brother?

>Legal Invasion of Privacy: yield evidence that's more embarrassing than anything else.

> The Medal: be mistaken for real, even though it is an obvious fake.

>Avogadro make a fool of yourself.

Avogadro's questions, drift towards a certain white vixen.
Adler, try to respond as vaguely as possible.
Avogadro, be suspicious.
Marshal, collect all available information on the white vixen. Then become suspicious yourself.

Evidence, be surprisingly incriminative.
Thomson, start using underhand (underhoof?) tactics.

Marshal Theronmyathus > ask what was adler doing in the laboratory and why did he have a scuti in a jar with him?
Marshal Theronmyathus > ask if adler made a trip to the vulpitarian embassy to obtain a part for miss sweetcheeks? and did he have any part in the fireworks explosion?
Marshal Theronmyathus > ask adler where are the two scuti? Palace guards cant locate them.
Marshal Theronmyathus > ask what reason adler took action against the vulpitarian scientists work?

(Thomson) Ask to see Avogadro's warrant to search HSH's Elfintory.
(Marshal) Indicate that you [Marshal] have the warrant. Give same to the Floozie-at-Law.

"I presume you have a warrant authorizing a search of my client's personal space?" Ms. Thomson asked drily.

"I have three," Theronmyathus chuckled hoarsely. "Would you like to see them all?"

"One will suffice," the Floozy replied.

The Marshal produced the paper and slid it across the table.

"Very well," Ms. Thomson murmured after studying the immaculately-completed form. "This appears to be in order. If you will kindly bear the intrusion, Your Highness .."

>empty out your elfintory
Search Prince Adler. Make it very ticklish.
>Thompson: Suddenly find your seating position uncomfortable.

She set her briefcase on the floor, unbuttoned the front of my jacket, and reached into my Elfintory.

"TICKLES," I gasped, trying not to squirm.

just deny. No clever worldplay, no half truthes, just good honest denial when needed and statement of facts, silence the rest of the time.
(Elfintory) Yield up some very gross bits of dried mushroom and shower-stall leavings.
(HSH Prince Adler) Be on the verge of explaining the Elfintory.
(Floozie-at-Law) Silence Prince Adler emphatically, as only a Floozie-at-Law can do.
Avogadro & Theronmyathus > see the dried mushroom remains and shower clippings. comment that alder may have a hoarding problem.
>Legal Invasion of Privacy: yield evidence that's more embarrassing than anything else.

"Before these assembled witnesses I bring forth," Ms. Thomson formally declared. She pulled out a handful of old dried mushrooms and hoof clippings which must have been lying in there for years, ever since the Ferifax Arch explosion.

"What, did you reach all the way to the bottom on your first go?" I blurted. "That's just some old -"

"I would recommend that you not try to explain these items at this time, Your Highness," Ms. Thomson hissed warningly. "Your comments will be a matter of record."

"We're hardly interested in the Prince's pocket lint," Avogadro scoffed. "You might as well put that disgusting debris back where you found it."

"Now now, it might be evidence," Theronmyathus croaked. "Put it on the table and I'll make a note of it. What else do you find, Ms. Thomson?"

She reached in and pulled out a copy of Wise Professor Skunk's Basics of Vulpitanian Frontgammon.

"This belongs to the Royal Library of Persoc Tor," Theronmyathus rasped as he inspected the flyleaf. "What are you doing with it?"

"I wished to learn Frontgammon in order to be hospitable to the visiting Vulpitanian dignitaries," I explained. "The Queen loaned it to me. She goes to Persoc quite often to get books."

"I see," the Marshall croaked suspiciously while making a mark on a notepad. "Next."

> Take out the cutters, Ms.thompson explains its for gardening

Ms. Thomson drew out the set of clippers which I had taken from Mara Supial in the Hall of Ancestors.

"It appears to be a gardening implement," the Floozy explained before I could say anything.

"A perfect weapon to use against our Shrub Knights," the Marshal muttered ominously as he wrote on his pad.

Next Ms. Thomson pulled out my toy ant.

"That's Bucephalus," I blurted. "I've had him since I was an elflet."

"Same name as Irenaeus' ant, sir," Avogadro pointed out.

"Delusions of grandeur," Theronmyathus theorized as he jotted a note.

"Please try to refrain from commenting," Ms. Thomson whispered to me sternly.

Next the Floozy pulled out a green bandit hat which my fellow-travelers had jokingly put on my head as I slept during my coach ride to Athstead. I had completely forgotten that was in there! Theronmyathus inspected it and eyed me dubiously as he placed it on the table.

Avogadro & Theronmyathus > gasp as the tail is taken out, then remember its a false one.

"By the Lady!" the Marshal squawked as Thomson pulled out the false Irenaeus costume tail.

"I recognize that, sir," Avogadro explained. "His Highness gave it to me to wear in order to disguise myself as him when he sent me to the kitchen to contaminate the visiting SALVs' meals. And that's the fake dagger handle which an unknown assailant used to pretend-assassinate me while I was thus disguised," he added as Ms. Thomson pulled out the false dagger.

"Interesting," Theronmyathus remarked. "Next."

> take out the bow.

"A gift from my archery instructor," I explained as the Floozy brought out my elfin bow.

"Ah yes," Theronmyathus croaked, scribbling on his pad. "Our records indicate that you were instructed by Utica the Huntress, a known user of forbidden Wiles and currently a wanted fugitive, whereabouts unknown."

"Please refrain from speaking during this process, Your Highness," Ms. Thomson hissed at me through gritted teeth.

"Here's a strange item," the Marshal remarked as Thomson pulled out the tall striped hat I had worn as SALV Relda Fauxfox. "I believe these are commonly worn by revelers at Vulpitanian Saint Reynard's festivities."

Heeding my Floozy's warning glance, I said nothing.

> take out the hand hat. put it back as it cant be taken from adler unless the king removes him as hand of the king.

Next, she reached in and pulled out my King's Right Hand regalia - the hat and the wand of office.

"Hmm, well these cannot legally be taken from you," Theronmyathus muttered as he shook the hat, making sure nothing was concealed inside. "Leastwise, not by me. So I return them to you."

> before the vulpertain pass is taken out, ms thompson swipes the pass from adlers elfintory.
Evidence, be surprisingly incriminative.
Thomson, start using underhand (underhoof?) tactics.

"Not so fast, madam," the eagle snapped, grabbing Ms. Thomson's wrist as she attempted to exploit his momentary distraction with the Hand hat to stealthily slip a piece of paper from my Elfintory into her cleavage. "What's this you have here? A Vulpitanian Embassy pass, granting an 'Exotic Lengra-Cha Floozy' security clearance to the office of Marshal SALV Anton Sweetcheeks."

"I certainly hope the item your Ixie smuggled out was MORE incriminating than this," the ungulate thought at me scornfully with Elfmind. "Though I have trouble imagining how it could be."

"Is there any more to be found, Ms. Thomson?" the Marshal inquired icily.

(Elfintory) Yield up Fauxfox's medal and monocle.
Avogadro > see fauxfox's medal and monocle, become enraged, thinking adler has done something foul to her
> The Medal: be mistaken for real, even though it is an obvious fake.
Avogadro's questions, drift towards a certain white vixen.
Adler, try to respond as vaguely as possible.
Avogadro, be suspicious.
Marshal, collect all available information on the white vixen. Then become suspicious yourself.
>Avogadro make a fool of yourself.
Marshal Theronmyathus > ask if adler made a trip to the vulpitarian embassy? and did he have any part in the fireworks explosion?

The Floozy reached in and reluctantly pulled out the fake monocle and medal I had made.

"A Vulpitanian Escapist medal and a monocle shaped like a miniature handcuff," the Marshal observed, making notes on his pad.

"An Escapist medal?" Avogadro exclaimed suddenly. "A monocle? A tall striped hat? An exotic Lengra-Cha floozy? Sir, all of this matches the description of the mysterious and beautiful white-furred vixen who is suspected of setting off explosions at the Vulpitanian Embassy last night! I think I saw her leaving this very building not long before that incident occurred."



"What have you done to her, you villain?" the mole exclaimed, leaping up from his chair. "Why do you have her personal effects in your Elfintory? I promise you, if you've harmed so much as a single hair of her glorious snowy pelt, I'll see you suffer the most excruciating agony that Imperial Law will allow!"

"Sergeant, you are straying far off-script," Theronmyathus rasped. "Sit down and calm yourself. Your Highness, were you inside the Vulpitanian Embassy last night, and did you have anything to do with the attack that occurred there?"

"My client is not on trial and does not have to answer those questions now," Ms. Thomson tartly interjected before I could speak.

(Interrogation) Be interrupted by a very drunken cervine Floozie.
(Doris Saltstick) Be arrested for interfering.
saltlick interrupts causing everyone to look at her.

Suddenly Doris Saltstick burst into the interrogation room.

"THISH'Z A TRAVESHTY O JUSHTISH!" the doe shrieked, pointing angrily toward Ms. Thomson. "I'VE KNOWN TH' CUTE PRINCE 'N KNOWN HOW CUTE HE WAS A LOT LONGER'N YOU HAVE, YOU PARALEGAL SHTRUMPET! I SHOULD BE TH' ONE IN HIS LAP, CUDDLIN HIM AN' GIVIN HIM ADVICE AN FEELIN UP HIS ELFINTORY."

"Sergeant, remove that drunken Floozy and place her in detention," Theronmyathus squawked. "Guard! Why have you allowed this unauthorized interruption?"

"Sorry sir," someone I could not see replied from the corridor. "She took me by surprise and wriggled right past as quick as could be."

"I could have used this distraction beneficially if she had shown up just a few minutes earlier," Ms. Thomson thought ruefully in my Elfmind.

Marshal Theronmyathus > ask what was adler doing in the laboratory and why did he have a scuti in a jar with him?
>Adler: Deny conspiring against the empire (you were conspiring against the vulpitanians, the sexy, sexy vulpitanians).

After Doris was subdued and removed from the room, Avogadro resumed his seat. After staring at the table full of evidence for a moment, Theronmyathus turned and looked at me.

"What were you doing in the Vulpitanians' quarters and why were you absconding with a Scuti in a jar?" he asked, wearily.

"I was defending the interests of the Empire," I insisted, ignoring Thomson's warning glare. "This arrest, this entire proceeding, is preposterous! You don't trust the Vulpitanians either; I thought we were together on this!"

"We were," the Marshal sighed. "But you overstepped your bounds and got caught. The Vulpitanian thaumaturgists are working both for and against the Empire. I am in a delicate situation here, and I must uphold the Law at all costs. The Scuti creatures' disturbing claims of Royal descent pose a threat to the very foundation of our society, which cannot go unchallenged."

"You know about that?" I asked, perplexed.

"I'm sorry, Your Highness," Avogadro sighed. "It was too much to take. I felt it my duty to inform the Marshal."

"Time now to return to your cell," Theronmyathus croaked as he stood up. "With luck we can move you to more suitable accommodations before the day gets much older."

(HSH Prince Adler) Be returned, oddly, to your cell immediately after your Elfintory is searched.
(Cell opposite) Be empty of Ratso. Be filled with very drunken cervine Floozie.

I was escorted back into the detention area and locked (along with Ms. Thomson) in the cell across from where I had been earlier. I offered Thomson the bench, but she chose to sit on the floor instead.

"This really shucks," Doris groaned dolefully from the bench in the opposite cell, where I had sat before my interrogation. "The Marshal shure's a meanie. Talk about punishment. Firsht I gotta take a lotta guff from some creepo rat, an' now I gotta shee my Cute Prince make out right in fronna me, with not-me. Well GO AHEAD, you two. Twisht th' knife!"

"What happened to the rat who was here?" I asked.

"Oh they came 'n got him a few minitsh ago," the doe slurred. "Shed shumthin 'bout parolin him if he'd help em question a shcooter .. er a shquirty, shomethin' like that, I dunno. I'm shleepy."

>Well, it would seem that all there is left to do now is to pass the time by playing hours upon hours of "I Spy" and "Truth or Dare".

>Ms. Thompson: Be surprisingly passionate about masonry and keep favorably commenting on the dungeon's stonework.

Well now you've landed yourself in a real pickle! You need a cunning plan to get yourself out of this...

>Adler: Complain about ms. Thomson's lacklustre performance, rue not picking the wolven queen instead (besides she seemed easy if you know what I mean).
>Thomson: Yes you know what he means. His Highness can stop wiggling his eyebrows now.
>Cunning plan: Consist of Adler transmogrifying into Relda, using sapphic acts to beguile Avogadro to let her go. Flee to the boonies. Or Elfhame it's the same really.

Adler, try passing time by searching the cell. Find some old debris and a bunch of jailhouse graffiti written in various places. Including a juicy piece recently written by the rat. Then use your wand of office to knock on stones in order to determine if anyone has been digging a tunnel. Discover something odd, but ultimately useless.

Doris, admit that you have a drinking problem. And then sob even louder.

Thomson, give Adler some more information about the sisterhood and their plans. And scold him for nearly ruining them.

The Marshal and the sergeant, examine all the evidence in detail. Come to a troubling, and quite incorrect, conclusion.

>transform into a ixie and look around, maybe eavesdrop on Ratso a little, look for the scuti try and elf mind it but return to your cell quickly after.

>Schooter be Utica the Huntress in disguise (Oh shooter! but whats a shquirty?)
>Schooter is released, no evidence can be pinned on em.
Ixie Adler > look around the coroner office, see the dead lowfolk. Its percy! with a arrow lodged in his heart

(HSH Prince Adler) Request the latest edition of Jane, the Lowfolk Femme to pass the time.
(Ms. Thomson) Be slightly annoyed Adler wants to pass the time with a fictional vixen instead of a real, live, Legal Floozie.
(Ms. Thomson) Be philosophical about it. Examine some briefs.
(Doris) Bang on the bars with a tin cup, and yell for the screws.
(Gaoler) Bring the doe a plate of metal hardware. Be very confused and baffled.

pass the time by playing hours upon hours of "I Spy" and "Truth or Dare".
>Ms. Thompson: Be surprisingly passionate about masonry and keep favorably commenting on the dungeon's stonework.
Adler, try passing time by searching the cell. Find some old debris and a bunch of jailhouse graffiti written in various places. Including a juicy piece recently written by the rat. Then use your wand of office to knock on stones in order to determine if anyone has been digging a tunnel. Discover something odd, but ultimately useless.

Time passed.

Despite claiming to be sleepy, Doris kept trying to involve us in her drunken amusements.

"I shpy with my little eye, shomething made of shtone," she burbled.

"This holding area dates back to the reign of Yngvar," Ms. Thomson remarked enthusiastically. "It is some of the finest dungeon masonry in the Shining Land. The stones fit together so precisely, one cannot slip so much as a whisker between them."

I looked around the cell. Aside from the water jug and chamberpot, there wasn't much to look at. I tapped the walls with my Hand wand, but the stonework seemed solid. On the underside of the bench was an assortment of mostly-illegible graffiti, presumably scratched into the wood by the claws of previous inmates. The freshest-looking inscription said "RATSO WAS HEAR."

"Truth or dare," Doris called.

"I've never understood the point of that game, since elves do not lie," Ms. Thomson replied.

"Dare, then," Doris insisted. "Aren't you guysh gonna make out? Come on. I dare ya."

"I am technically a Floozy," Thomson pointed out. "Fully qualified for all varieties of venery."

"Totally not in the mood," I sighed.

"I begin to wonder if you truly are a descendant of Sartorius," she muttered suspiciously.

(Doris) Bang on the bars with a tin cup, and yell for the screws.

Suddenly Doris leaped up and started banging her water cup violently against the bars.

"GUARDSH!! GUARDSH!!!" she yelled.

"Yes, yes, what is it?" the jailer grumbled irritably as he strode up the aisle.

"How mush longer are we gonna have to shtay in here?" the doe asked mournfully. "Thoshe two are borin' the crap outta me, an' I don't know how mush longer I can shtand it!"

Doris, admit that you have a drinking problem. And then sob even louder.

"Lady, you are drunk," the jailer observed, with scorn.

"Yesh I am," Doris wailed, sitting down heavily on her bench. "Not bein' able to hold yer liquor ish an asshet in the Floozhy bizhnessh."

The jailer turned away, shaking his head in disgust as Doris began to sob quietly to herself.

(HSH Prince Adler) Request the latest edition of Jane, the Lowfolk Femme to pass the time.
(Ms. Thomson) Be slightly annoyed Adler wants to pass the time with a fictional vixen instead of a real, live, Legal Floozie.

"Hey, is there any chance I could get the latest issue of Jane, the Lowfolk Femme?" I asked him. "Anything to pass the time."

"Sure," the jailer replied with a grin. "Next courier that goes out, I'll tell him to pick one up."



"Why would you waste your energy reading that tawdry rubbish when you have a real live Legal Floozy right here?" Thomson demanded irritably. "If you wanted, I could make you forget about everything else for the rest of the afternoon."

"I'm not as into hooves as my brother is," I explained. "And the setting isn't conducive to venery."

"Any place is conducive," she muttered. "You just have to use your imagination."

Thomson, give Adler some more information about the sisterhood and their plans. And scold him for nearly ruining them.
>transform into a ixie and look around

"I need to devote my imagination to coming up with a way out of here," I exclaimed. "There's too much at stake for me to spend the entire day sitting around. I need to know what's going on! I need to be out there, helping!"

I transmogrified into an Ixie.



"Stop that right now," Ms. Thomson scolded. "Didn't you hear me when I said that not even a whisker could slip out of here? And don't try doing a Pooka Vanish, if you even know how. Escaping now would only hurt your case. The Sisterhood has invested a lot in you, and you owe us. Why, your very existence is due to our intervention. So turn back into yourself and trust me to guide you safely through these legal procedures."

"It would help if I knew what the Sisterhood's long-term goal was," I grumbled, transmogrifying back into my normal form.

"I was under the impression that you had been told," Thomson said, surprised. "You are to take the throne, eventually, and instate proper Elfly policies once again."

>Adler: Complain about ms. Thomson's lacklustre performance, rue not picking the wolven queen instead

"I should have chosen the 'Wolf Queen' to Floozy for me," I sulked. "She would have been more fun."

"I repeat, I am highly skilled in Sisterhood venery techniques."

"Give it a rest," I sighed. "The situation is bad enough already. I'm not going to let you use your Wiles on me."

Our conversation was interrupted by the sound of the jailer's footfalls in the corridor.

"Here's your Jane," he announced with a grin, passing a tightly-rolled scroll through the bars. "Enjoy."



I broke the seal and unrolled the scroll.

"Whoah, this isn't Jane, the Lowfolk Femme," I observed. "This looks like a transcript of an interrogation."

"What an improbable stroke of luck!" Thomson exclaimed. "Let me have a look at that."

The Marshal and the sergeant, examine all the evidence in detail. Come to a troubling, and quite incorrect, conclusion.

The document recorded the conversation between three persons: T and A, which were most likely Theronmyathus and Avogadro, and an unknown entity identified as S.

T: Did you see Prince Adler enter the Vulpitanian thaumaturgists' laboratory?

S: Yes.

T: And what did he do there?

A: Did he have a beautiful white vixen with him?

S: No vixen. He was alone.

A: Did he show any signs or did he boast of using his sick Irenaeid Mojo to seduce a beautiful white-furred vixen and corrupt her to do his sinister bidding?

S: Uh..

T: We'll need to strike that question from the record. Please stay on topic. What did the Prince do in the lab?

S: He swapped around the contents of a bunch of containers. He stared out the window. Then he went into the other room and spoke to the SALVs.

T: They were conscious?

S: No, asleep. He looked into the bowl, I think it was a scrying bowl set up between the Vulpitanians.

T: Did he set up the scrying bowl?

S: No, a weird fox came in earlier and did that.

A: A beautiful white vixen?

S: No, a gray tod in old-fashioned clothes.

T: Did this tod knock out the SALVs?

S: No, they went to sleep before that. After they ate dinner, they danced around for a while and then passed out on the floor. I thought it was a bit strange, even for Vulpitanians.

T: Sergeant, you stated that the Prince had you slip something into the SALVs' meals before they left the kitchen?

A: That's right.

T: What did His Highness do after speaking to the unconscious Vulpitanians?

S: He came back in and broke a piece of crockery. He picked around among the shards, then an Ixie showed up and he talked to her for a few seconds.

T: What did they say?

A: Did they mention a beautiful white-furred vixen?

S: I couldn't hear them.

T: Did the Prince take anything from the pottery shards?

S: I'm not sure.

T: What happened next?

S: He picked me up and left the apartment. The rest I think you know.

>Cunning plan: Consist of Adler transmogrifying into Relda, using sapphic acts to beguile Avogadro to let her go. Flee to the boonies.

"Interesting," Ms. Thomson mused. "It could be to our advantage, knowing of this evidence without them knowing we know. May I keep it in my briefcase?"

"Sure," I said, handing her the scroll. "Avogadro seems obsessed with that white vixen. I was SALV Relda Fauxfox, of course, and I was in the Vulpitanian Embassy last night. Maybe if I transmogrify into her again, I could influence the Sergeant .."

"Unwise," Thomson snapped. "Please, let the Sisterhood handle this by conventional means."

>Ms. Thomson: You could do it with conventional means, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think you have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part!

>S is clearly the plant guy.

>Between Lemmy, Avogadro And Theronmyathus, tone has to wonder if there's anyone in the marshall office who isn't witless, compleltly lacking in any sense of observation and/or logical deduction and jsut unimaginatively dull...

>That said... 'escaping' anjd going 'rogue' could be a good way to gain access to the vulpitians if you tricked them as gaining you as a double agent.

Jailer, be told that the archive room already has enough copies of "Jane, the Lowfolk Femme" spread between it's staff members and come to the conclusion that you made a mistake. Hurry back before the prisoners read the document (which they already did, of course).

Doris, make a pass at the jailer. Then demand more booze.

Ms. Thomson, come to the conclusion that Adler might have a vulpine fetish.

Adler, have a visitor. Be someone you haven't seen in a long time.

(oh I think "S" is the scutti)

Adler > Quickly reseal the transcript scroll with gramarye

Adler > Look out the cell window. see the gallows and bloody chopping block. get a little panicky.

Ms.Thompson > Reassure adler its just a illusion.

Doris > Successfully pickpocket the jailer as he leaves, gain entrance into alders cell. Cuddles ensue

>All of sudden, something beneficially amazing yet ridiculously irritating barges in and before you can react, it prances away.

>Adler in bewilderment: Why is it that everyone you interact with is a complete goof?

or

>Adler: Well this is a bit dull, request that the guard bring in a small band to play some easy listening music. Some paintings and drapes would help the atmosphere too.

or

>Adler: Just to be defiant, continuously declare to the guard that every action he and everyone else performs is all a part of your perfectly crafted master plan. Even when he so much as scratches his nose, that too is part of your plan. It's kind of true, if you don't think about it too much.

>Sitting here and waiting for your good name to be cleared would be the sensible thing to do, but what would Irenaeus do? Something brash and ill thought out! As his scion you can't sit idly here while things are happening outside, you need to take action!
>Convince Thomson to let you transmogrify yourself to her and her to yourself, switch clothes. Tell the guard you need to do lawyering stuff and be let out.

>S is clearly the plant guy.
one has to wonder if there's anyone in the marshall office who isn't witless
"S" is the scutti
>Adler in bewilderment: Why is it that everyone you interact with is a complete goof?

"Now then," Ms. Thomson continued. "It would be useful to try and identify who 'S' is in the transcript. Could it stand for 'Shrub' perhaps? You did have a plant in the Vulpitanians' quarters, did you not?"

"First, how did you know that, and second, the SALVs managed to remove the plant long before I ever got there," I replied. "And your supposition makes no sense on another point. The fact that 'S' said I picked him .. or her? .. up as I left the apartment can only mean one thing. It's the Scuti that was in a jar in the lab."

"How then were the Marshal and his aide able to question it, since those creatures have no Elfmind?"

"I don't know for sure," I theorized, "but before I was taken back there to be searched, as you'll recall, there was another prisoner in this cell."

"Of course!" Thomson exclaimed. "The skeevy rat! And the Marshal can justify attaching a Scuti to him by citing the Unseelie Rehabilitation Act."

"Which was a Vulpitanian idea, wasn't it?" I asked.

"Indeed it was."

"Those foxes are at the back of all this," I muttered darkly.

"We want them to believe that they are," Thomson replied.

Doris, make a pass at the jailer. Then demand more booze.
Adler, have a visitor. Be someone you haven't seen in a long time.
request that the guard bring in a small band to play some easy listening music. Some paintings and drapes would help the atmosphere too.

"YOUR HIGHNESS!" the jailer called from down the aisle. "You have a visitor!"

"Ugh," Doris groaned. "Yelling like that constitutes Cruel and Un-Elfly Punishment. Have you got any booze?"

"Even if I did, I wouldn't give any of it to you."

"Aw, come on," Doris pouted, twining her arms around the bars of her cell. "I'll be extra nice to you."

"Stow it," the jailer grunted. "I'm on duty. And stand back from the bars, there. Visitor for His Highness coming through."



"Hello, Adler," Dame Chitterleigh said, peering in at me. She glanced sideways at Ms. Thomson and sniffed. "I thought Meadow would be here with you."

"She was called away at the last minute," I explained. "Actually I thought it was probably some emergency involving you. Has anything happened?"

"No, I'm fine. I haven't seen her. How are you holding up?"

"Okay for now," I sighed. "I get the impression that I'm just waiting for something to happen. I'm not even sure what I'm charged with. Have you heard anything?"

"Nothing specific, but it sounds bad," the squirrel explained. "I know what it's like to be falsely accused of treason, and you came to my aid back then .. so I thought I'd let you know that you have my support."

"Thanks. It's nice to know I have some friends."

"Is there anything I can do for you?" she asked.

"Can't think of anything right now. But thanks for dropping by."

"I'm sure it will all blow over," Eudora optimistically opined. "Just hang in there."

Would it all blow over? I wondered, as Dame Chitterleigh left the Detention Area. I needed more information about my predicament, so that I could prepare and respond appropriately. And I knew just who would have the most detailed and up-to-the-minute intelligence.

"Ixies of the Ominous Orse!" I called via Elfmind.

>All of sudden, something beneficially amazing yet ridiculously irritating barges in

Three Ixies suddenly pooked into the cell.

"We were in the area, Highness, and heard thy call," one of them explained.

"You can summon those creatures at will?" Thomson asked incredulously. "What's your connection with them?"

"Do not tell them of our relationship, Sire," an Ixie whispered in my Elfmind. "That is one thing the Sisterhood does not know about us."

"I, er, got acquainted with them during my great-uncle Roland's tenure as Grand Marshal," I explained.

"It was Rolly's biggest mistake, relying on Ixies. They cannot be entirely trusted."

"I'm aware of their shortcomings," I sniffed. "Now then, what can you three tell me about the state of my case?"

"The Ministry is preparing to conduct thy trial as soon as possible. Queen Edessa and the Marshal's staff are co-ordinating the Prosecution. Nothing can happen until the King arises; he remains yet sequestered in the Royal Bedchamber. With luck he will summarily dismiss the charges against thee after they are presented. If he recommends a trial, then legal proceedings shall proceed. Meanwhile carpenters are refurbishing the gallows in the market plaza, and the Chief Headsman is cleaning & polishing his axe."

see the gallows and bloody chopping block. get a little panicky.
Ms.Thompson > Reassure adler

"Gallows?" I squeaked. "AXE?? I don't like the sound of that! What exactly are the charges against me?"

"That has not been declared," the Ixie replied.

"And it won't be until the case is officially laid before the King," Thomson added. "But you have no reason to fret. The penalty of death is normally only applied in cases of murder or treason. Because you are Royalty, you're very unlikely to be put to death; and even if you were, you wouldn't be hanged or beheaded with an axe. Persons of quality are beheaded with a sword. Your case just happens to coincide with the routine maintenance of our official tools of execution, as mandated in Imperial Edict 46-A section 35 paragraph seven."

this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part!
'escaping' anjd going 'rogue' could be a good way to gain access to the vulpitians if you tricked them as gaining you as a double agent.
what would Irenaeus do? Something brash and ill thought out! As his scion you can't sit idly here while things are happening outside, you need to take action!

"That's all according to the law," I stammered nervously. "But the Irenaeid dynasty has a long tradition of assassinating royal siblings when they pose a threat, real or imagined, to the security of the one on the throne. Which is exactly the situation the Sisterhood's plot has placed me in."

"Dynastic assassination hasn't happened in a long time," Thomson stated reassuringly. "Royal heirs are not as plentiful as they were in Yngvar's day. The Empire cannot afford to waste them."

"Still, I'm uneasy," I reiterated. "I'd much rather be taking action than sitting here, waiting for the legal system to run its course! Maybe I could flee to Vulpitania..."

"That's a horrible idea," Thomson scoffed. "You'd be walking right into a trap."

Doris > Successfully pickpocket the jailer as he leaves, gain entrance into alders cell. Cuddles ensue

"Yoo-hoo, Your Cute Highness," Doris called from the opposite cell. She held up a key-ring and dangled it enticingly. "Look what I liberated from that dumb jailer's pocket while he wasn't paying attention! You can have it if you want it ... but it's gonna cost you!"