come up with the worst dating sim plots you can

A dating sim where you are a young member of a moderately large real-world fandom for a fairly well known piece of media and must try to get your various senpais to notice you; the datable characters are all recognizably-famous real people in that fandom. The writers of the game must also be members of the fandom, preferably with strong opinions about the real versions of the datable characters. The plot is centered on a very clear allegory of a recent community scandal that involves the most well-known of the datable characters.

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DO IT.

I mean, uh...

You're dating memes.

lice have covered your entire body. date them.

you go to a mysterious website... and you are sucked into the computer! you greet this strange new world with apprehension... only to find that for some reason the internet looks like japanese all girls highschool on the inside.

suddenly you are an octopus. you must struggle to fit in with your human friends, and maybe also get a girlfriend???

eagletime egg hatchery dating sim

suddenly you are a human. you must struggle to fit in with your octopus friends, and maybe also get a breathing apparatus???

suddenly you are an octopus. you must struggle to fit in with your human friends, and maybe also get a girlfriend???

I thought this was bad dating sim plots...

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You are dating gijinkas of all the geologic eras. Will you go out with Mesozoic-chan or Paleoproterozoic-san?

You are dating gijinkas of all the geologic eras. Will you go out with Mesozoic-chan or Paleoproterozoic-san?

mmmmmm.... Cambrian-sempai..... your Anomalocaridids are so... big!
yes i know cambrian is a period not an era

Dating Sims. You have to date the sims from The Sims.

You have a special ability that anyone you date dies after 24 hours. Use this ability to kill off your worst enemy, but not before pretending to be their friend and then their potential love interest. Go on a romantic night out. Then, actually grow attached to them only to see them die and have your heart torn to pieces.

anthropomorphic pastry dating sim

datepals include donut, bagel, strudel, parfait, muffin, and cupcake, among many others

you lick the toppings off of their heads

anthropomorphic pastry dating sim

datepals include donut, bagel, strudel, parfait, muffin, and cupcake, among many others

you lick the toppings off of their heads

Plot twist: muffin is literally the devil

you are dating the fundamental constants of physics. Only $5.99 for the Hot Friction DLC!

A drama dating sim where you're a lamp that falls in love with various household items. However, the player can't hear the objects' voices, so every dialog box is just a bunch of ellipses.

Blast your love interests with unstoppable deluges of water, in this hot new inundating sim.

(Featuring: No double-meanings or innuendo whatsoever. Everything is played totally straight. You just shoot water at them and they get really wet. In the conventional sense.
Also, you can't see through anyone's t-shirts or anything like that.)

The above with the caveat that you fall in love with things /because/ you douse them with water. Your lawn is dying because you refuse to have another episode of you falling in love with St. Augustine.

You date a bunch of ancient, forgotten video game characters from a nearly-bankrupt company, as well as three characters from a completely unrelated webcomic.

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Simian Dating. That's right. you're makin' sweet sweet kissy faces at chimps. non-homosapiens chaps.

not only that. the simians you are dating take all love metaphors literally. When they say that you stole their heart, you have apparently severed it from their bodies and enjoyed it as a light snack.

vore dating sim. this can go two ways:
1. you are a hungry monster dating cute small monsters and then eating them
2. you are a small monster trying to entice a variety of big monsters to eat YOU

You must explore the body and steal their heart

You are a pioneering young newcomer in this foreign country without any idea of the language.
Because of this, you can communicate only through woven designs and carpets.
Finding your new foothold in this unfamiliar land as you start a rug store, you stumble upon the love of your life.

But how can you express your love only through the rugs you sell?

LOOMING LOVE. (2017)

MMORPG Dating Sim.

You and a bunch of other losersquality customers are around in the world, trying to get laidexperience the wonderful storyline of this world through intentionally stupidlimited dialogue choices.