Beef Squad

>As your keen bird eyes can doubtlessly ascertain, this is an official WORLD 2.0 NEWS vehicle, off to deliver a breaking, can't-wait-a-nanosecond story about how force fields can cause cancer! Just this brief period of exposure has already caused my voice and shirt to start turning a sickly, radioactive green! You have to let us go before it's too late! And it's not just for our safety- World 2.0 News is co-hosted by the incredibly violent Crazy Robot Man, who this very day threatened to kill a child's entire family for a trivial prank! What do you think he'd do to you if he found out you were holding up one of his channel's most important stories in decades?

>the speed limit is 299kph. The burb man is strict it seems.
>Throw birds seeds or bread crumbs, at him to distract em.

tim your sig is so appropriate

Hi i have a beefsquad discussion thread where u can ask questions and discuss lore, wowie look at that https://eagle-time.org/showthread.php?tid=2455

S-S-S-S-S-S-SUGGESTIONS!

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Posted by Tim Tesy - Today 06:25 PM
>the speed limit is 299kph. The burb man is strict it seems.
>Throw birds seeds or bread crumbs, at him to distract em.


Posted by The Walrus - 07-06-2017 02:27 AM
>As your keen bird eyes can doubtlessly ascertain, this is an official WORLD 2.0 NEWS vehicle, off to deliver a breaking, can't-wait-a-nanosecond story about how force fields can cause cancer! Just this brief period of exposure has already caused my voice and shirt to start turning a sickly, radioactive green! You have to let us go before it's too late! And it's not just for our safety- World 2.0 News is co-hosted by the incredibly violent Crazy Robot Man, who this very day threatened to kill a child's entire family for a trivial prank! What do you think he'd do to you if he found out you were holding up one of his channel's most important stories in decades?


Posted by Arcanuse - 07-05-2017 04:05 AM
>Dodge the question with all the grace of a drunken walrus

>500 Kilometers, eh? Shouldn't we be dead?

>And if we're dead, why you holdin us up, you cant fine the dead that's just silly business right there, and you cops know better than silly business cause silly business just wastes time, both yours and mine in long meandering explanations of how you cant fine the dead becauses its just silly business and good cops dont mess around with that because its time wasted stead of doing real jobs like nabbing that robber back a few kilometres back who's going to get away because you cops are busy giving speeding tickets instead of getting your priorities in order and dealing with the real issues in this town, like fixing the stoplights I swear those things always turn red when it's important... (etc etc etc.)

>Continue rant until officer gives you a speeding ticket and leaves.


Posted by tegerioreo - 07-05-2017 03:05 AM
"Five hundred k? Is that how high we were? Well no wonder he didn't see the sign."


Posted by wiltingMyosotis - 07-05-2017 01:10 AM
> I can't drive to save my life.




Suggestions that can't be used but will forever be appreciated sorry bb

Posted by ICan'tGiveCredit - 07-05-2017 02:24 AM
>I misread 50 for 500

Other comments!

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meriad looks like a bird in the last panel lol

Gosh dang it now i can't unsee it credit

We all wish we could fix up our anatomy, but it's a lot harder than it sounds.

I know, which is why I've taken a whole week off ta practice! Now im back and im ready to tackle this update head on.

Meriad takes a deep inhale through his nose, to clear his head from the icy cold grasp of panic. He didn't think he would even get this far, but here he is, trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket, and/or actual jail time, in a nasty-ass cell. Meriad wishes that he still had his watch on him to re-check his stats, because he doesn't have a shred of certainty that he's going to pull this stunt off.

"500 kilometers? Well no wonder we didn't see the sign! And shouldn't we be dead anyway? And if we're dead, why are you holding us up? Youcan't fine the dead, that's just common sense! You cops should have more common sense, because uncommon sense is stupid, and is just going to wast my time and yours, officer, and you don't want that, do you? Me explaining the fact that you can't fine the dead is taking time out of your job, which you could use by not being an idiot and using your common sense to catch the criminal mastermind stealing from your banks a few kilometers back, or fixing the damn stoplight you dumb rotisserie-chicken-looking-ass fuckboy."
--- Meriad stops for a second to catch his breath, the cop looks at him with eyebrows raised high enough to pierce the heavens.---
"I swear those things turn red everytime when it's important. Like right now I have to return this ugly blinking CAr monstrosity to it's rightfuL owner for an emergency news report about how force fieLds cause cancer! Even after a few seconds of exposure, my shirt and...uh...VOICE turned a gROSS, radioactive green! This is a breaking news story that can't wait a single moment or this poor child in the seat next to me will get her entire family murdered."


"I'm 18 tho, and i rlly dont mind the 'murder your entire family' thing, they tried to sacrifice me to the Sun Man lol."


"Meemo keep your mouth shut you are not helping the situation at all Like I was saying, let us go or you're going to have to deal with the violent metal trash can, aka 'Crazy Robot Man'. What do you think he'll do to your corpse once he knows that you tried to stop one of the most important news stories in centuries from coming onto his channel, huh?"





Meriad feels a sense of accomplishment and pride blossoming inside his chest. There's no way in hell he'll be able to bypass that charisma che-


The cop slowly lifts his pen, and presses a small round button on the side.





A flash of light followed by the quiet snap of the camera catches Meriad by surprise, which quickly turns to horror once he realises what that means. The cop goes back to scribbling on his notebook, a slight smirk of contempt adorning his face.


Meriad hurridly leans close to Meemo. He takes a quick glance at the cop, and returns his worried gaze back upon her .



"Girl I don't think he's falling for it. Do you have any bird seed or something that I can throw at him so we can jump out of the car and just run?"

Meemo shakes her head sadly. "They won't fall for it, believe me dude, i tried it myself and it ended up with me getting my ass kicked."


"The fact that I called him a dumb rotisserie-chicken-looking-ass fuckboy didn't help my argument mu-"


"Quiet!" The cop snaps loudly, startling both Meriad and Meemo away from their frantic whispering. Meriad turns to the cop in irritation.

"I already told you all my reasons, what else do you want? A complimentary package of peanuts?" Meriad retorts angrily.


"How about we start with the truth? That's a good starting point, don't you think?"

The cop leans closer.

Meriad doesn't like the way the cop stares at him. He could feel the hairs rising on the nape of his neck.

"What do you mea-"

"You know exactly what I mean. You cannot lie to the traffic police, the traffic police are not affected by sweet talks, bribes, or whining. We are traffic police for a reason, boy." The cop whispers
"I'll ask you again, and it is best you answer me truthfully; Why where you going 500 kilometres over the speeding limit?"

Meriad is terrified. Not only by the way the cop is acting right now, but also by how easily the cop saw through all his bluffing, and tore through them all like wet tissue paper. Meriad will remember this Interaction. [Life lesson learned: Don't mess with the traffic police.

Meriad knows any lie he throws at the cop will get shredded, all attempts of worming out of a ticket will get shredded, and all charisma checks he dumps on the cop will get shredded. He didn't know that the traffic cops of Sunny district were this strict, which is very uncharacteristic of the district itself. Meriad's sense of pride and accomplishment disintegrates into dust. He just wants to get this over with now.

"I can't drive to save my life."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Meriad is done with life.




They wouldn't even put her in a different cell, and now she's screeching over his head. Great, wonderful, fantastic.
They would have only gotten a speeding ticket, but noOoooO, the cop has to call "Crazy Robot Man" for confirmation on the news report, and the murder robot just haaad to say that the car was "stolen", and he doesn't "know wack about this news report".

Meriad hears footsteps coming towards the cell. He sits up straight, and even Meemo stops screeching for a second to take a look at what's happening.

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These 4 were rushed. Thesy were really rushed. Had to do them in under 30 minutes cuz it was 3 am and I can't afford stayin' up any longer or I'll get caught, so I'm really sorry about that!

The Sherrif takes a long, hard look at Meriad, and tries to take a sip from his cup of joe. He fails because coffee mugs are not made for birds and that makes him sad. He hands the coffee cup to another cop rushing by, who promptly takes it without comment, and disappears around a corner with a trail of feathers floating behind them. The Sherrif turns back to face Meriad again, and scans his list once more. He pulls out a small, circular, phone, decorated with smiley stickers and little stars.





"It was bejeweled by my daughter, I had no part in the blingin'." he says sheepishly, slipping the phone to Meriad through a small opening in the cell door.

"You only get one phone call, so choose wisely, buddy." he warns.

>Meriad can call anybody he knows. Either a character he met before (Tammy, Crazy Robot Man, Gordon Queeman, O-N3,Ross, Tank, etc...), or you can make up a character, like I said before, and call them. What will Meriad say?

Use this template if you're making someone up:
Name- (their name or nickname)
Species- (name of species, followed by short description)
District-(there are multiple, like the drizzle district, sunny district, dandelion district, fuckin spaghetti district exists for some reason. Hell, make up a district if ya want!)
Gender- (boy/gal/ other)
Quick description of character- (personality, backstory, all that pizazz. No more than a few sentences needed, but if you want to add a bit more flesh to your character, go ahead!)

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Posted by ICan'tGiveCredit - Today 03:39 AM
tim your sig is so appropriate

Tim it was meant to be, the gods have spoken

Call a lawyer or call to order pizza? What a dilemma! This sounds like a job for:

MORTY MARINARA, PIZZA CHEF-AT-LAW!

Name - Morty Marinara
Species - Pizza chef
District - Pepperoni district
Gender - Extra cheese
Description - Mama Mia! It's a legal pizza chef who can whip up a tasty pizza-pie while filing an appeal, bake a calzone while entering a plea deal. You want anchovies and a writ of habeas corpus? NO PROBLEM!