HAKWSPACE SECRET SHITPOST SATAN PART THREE

i have received this mysterious and frankly intriguing message in the mail recently. i don't know who you are, but know these: 1. i would be more than eager to learn any dark arts or forbidden sciences you possess and 2. next time, perhaps consider responsibly rehosting your images on imgur or similar (as i have taken the liberty to do here)

An eldritch entity rises from the foaming waves and meets the captain.


I enjoy pineapple on my pizza, confirming my presence as the ?Tropical Antichrist?. My fruit-lust cannot be sated. There is a special place in hell for me, or so I've been told, for my transgressions against pizzakind.
"How durst ye defile thee ambrosia of Italy!" A Roman Catholic Pizza Priest scolded me, throwing flour at my face in the way that they usually throw holy water. Ah, but there is yet more to my evil deeds. I also dabble in the dark arts of meat manipulation, tossing in the hides of pigs, foulest of creatures! "YOU WRETCHED FOOL," onlookers point their trembling fingers in my direction, "THIS IS A TRAVESTY. LEAVE THIS PIZZANCTUARY."
It cannot be done. I haunt the realms of purity and pizzaeity, leaving behind destruction (and pizza crust) in my wake. Look upon my toppings and despair, earthlings!

What dark bargain shall ye strike with me, the Lucifer of all pizza?! I may reciprocate in the form of my dark teachings in the blood sciences, every cursed word lifting a horrid shriek from thy tongue! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH