Post making contest 5.0

Passes rules 2 and 5.

:))))

Passes no rules.

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@$"
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\a\b\c\d\e\f\g\h\i\j\k\l\m\n\o\p\q\r\s\t\u\v\w\x\y\z
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Passes no rules

Passes 2 and 5

Passes two and five.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Passes no rules.

I've got Canada in my pocket, a little bit of history; I bought out every official of every province and territory.

Passes no rules.
Edit: Actually passes rule 4, just barely.