The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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Spoiler
Today, August 18th, is the official date of Vulpitanian X-Mess: The second most popular holiday in the Republic, after St. Reynard's Day. Traditionally, gag gifts are exchanged and pies are thrown. Many Vulpitanians complain that the holiday has become too commercial (some stores start putting out X-Mess displays in DECEMBER, for Fuma's sake!) but its popularity endures, especially with young kits.

X-Mess never caught on in the Empire because it smacks too much of Vile Kringlism.

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Spoiler Nice. Will we see what presents Sophie and Boo-Boo got? And did Fifi got anything for Adler?

(Fifi Fofox) Give the gift of Yourself!
(Great Comet in the Sky) Be bright enough to be seen in the daytime.
(Great Comet in the Sky) Be seen to break up into a number of smaller comets.
(Soothsayers) Be disturbed.
(Most furs of the Empire) Be disturbed.
(Isolated peasant) Not give a tinker's cuss.

(Comet) Be first noticed by a Elf astronomer named Khlenzerr.
(Comet) Be hereafter known as "Khlenzerr's Comet".

(Great Comet in the Sky) Be bright enough to be seen in the daytime.
(Great Comet in the Sky) Be seen to break up into a number of smaller comets.
(Soothsayers) Be disturbed.
(Most furs of the Empire) Be disturbed.
(Isolated peasant) Not give a tinker's cuss.

Comet fragments, fall through the atmosphere and explode violently above Fairie.

Explosions, be visible and audible across the entire empire as well as in neighboring lands. Cause minimal damage, but inflict widespread panic.

Thomson, obtain something personal from Adler during your venery session, which was your real goal.

"Hey, what's that for?" I asked as Thomson suddenly pulled a pair of scissors out of her Elfintory and snipped a lock of my hair.

"With this and a generous sample of your seed, which I have already obtained, " she explained, "I can ensure your cooperation with the Sisterhood's plans."

"Pretending to be impressed by your venery partner," I gaped. "The oldest Wile in the book! I can't believe I fell for it!"

"I really was impressed," Thomson grinned. "But I would never let it interfere with my mission."

"I'm going along with your plans!" I protested. "You don't need to do this!"

"It never hurts to be sure."

>Adler: HEADS UP!
>Griff: Scutify someone prominent to take charge.

Suddenly a hideous birdlike monster with a pair of shears for a hand burst through the underbrush!

"Sorry, kid," it squawked mechanically. "But I need your body. Turn around and bend over. It'll only hurt for a second, and then we can take command of those troops."

I cringed away from the horrible thing, but there was no comfort there - only Ms. Thomson.

>As many plans and conspiracies against Adler spring all at once- only to collide in a truly spectacular fashion
>Fifi: Try
Fifi, do not be another scuti.
(Fifi Fofox) Give the gift of Yourself!

"Like, stay right where you are, Your Hot Highness," SALV Fofox chuckled as she slunk through the bushes from the other direction. "I need your body, and at last I totally have authorization to make you mine. Don't worry, I think you'll like it."

I cringed away from Fifi, but there was no comfort there - only Ms. Thomson and the automaton.

The hungrily grinning SALV crept closer .. the automaton raised its ghastly claw ..

>Say Adler, Burnside... If you were to, say, take her under your wing... At the very least, it would be good to have a loyal enforcer at your beck and call.
>Addler: somehow escape all the atempt to posses or kill you
>Addler: Snap.

.. the next thing I knew, I was standing in the clearing, naked. I had my Elven Bow in my left hand, and I was carrying Burnside with my right arm. The raccoon femme was giggling ecstatically - and she seemed to be naked also. Both of us were spattered with something dark and sticky.

The Volunteer Army was brandishing its weapons enthusiastically and chanting my name:
AD-LER-YOUNG!!
AD-LER-YOUNG!!
AD-LER-YOUNG!!

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Spoiler
What has happened??
Who perished?
Who survived?
It all depends on you!

>That horrible ooze is from the automaton. Burnside happened to have a bow she was using to menace the troops when she heard the ruckus. Adler used the bow to scare away Fifi, and give her two new ear piercings and a second tail, while Burnside disassembled the automaton and did something HORRIBLY UNSPEAKABLE to the scuti. Ms. Thomson is still alive, but covered in scratches and bites, and both her arms are broken. At least she doesn't have that hair sample anymore. Burnside ate it... to "gain your power"?
>The soldiers were no help at all, despite seeing the whole ordeal and you calling out for help multiple times. They just kept cheering and shouting what fighting moves you should do.
>With Adler missing his pants, the soldiers begin to start feeling inadequate in comparison.
>As for the clothes, Burnside was already naked and the kid ran off with yours.
>Or maybe a bunch of trees just fell on everyone but you.
>A pretty good day, all-in-all. Wouldn't you say?

Sticky substance, be a mixture of mostly hydraulic fluid and tree sap, with a couple of blood drops mixed in.

Fight, occur in the following order:

1. Fifi and Thomson, start having a punch up over Adler.
2. Burnside, show up. Knock Griff into the Fifi/Thomson fight. Griff, loose another body part as well as your main hydraulics (hence the hydraulic fluid).
3. Griff, attempt to snip Adler's tail off. But in the struggle only succeed in cutting off one of Thomson's horns (hence some of the blood).
4. Adler, go into your berserker rage. Shoot arrows everywhere. Hit mostly Griff and several nearby tree trunks. (hence the sap).
5. Griff, now reduced to using only your scuti eyes for navigation, break what's left of your barely functional body out of the struggle and go for the nearest white fluffy object you detect.
6. Fifi, receive a close haircut.
7. Scuti Preston, snip the target tail off and attach yourself to Adler's succulent bum. (hence more blood)
8. Scuti Preston, once you gain control, come to an unpleasant realization that the white bum you're attached to might not belong to a skunk...
9. Scuti Preston, flee in your new body. Swear to return for Adler.
10. Thomson, be moderately injured. Lose the hair sample in a pile of white hair strewn all over the place. Be left unconscious under some battered trees.
11. Burnside, attempt to appropriate Adler for yourself.
12. Adler's berserk rage, switch from physical to love-based attacks.
13. Adler and Burnside, have a "romp in the hay" right between the mangled remains of Griff and the unconscious body of Thomson.
14. Burnside, swear (and I mean swear) in your wile-induced haze to do anything to help Adler and his cause.

Several soldiers, witness the entire event.
Adler, gain a reputation.
Alice and Scuti Preston, reunite.

Thomson, wake up after a while. Collect some of the white hair in the hope that some of it might be Adler's. Then make a tactical retreat.

A certain two SALVs in the capitol, also witness everything. Come to the conclusion that certain tactics will have to be altered.

>Burnside: Your sudden love and amiration is real, ya knew the boss had it in him.

>You've never seen an archer with such deadly vicious precision... Let alone one capable of targetting up.. in ... You reckon that deer lady is gonna have to walk stiff for a while.

>And sticking the scuttis and whatever was in the white chick to bicker for control of a single broken body was inspired. Ya might just make a real unseelie outa him

>Addler: Well, you may feel slightly shamefull but take heart,, Iraneus would be proud of his vigorous descendant, no doubt.

Adler > ask burnside what happened

>the kings army (a whole company) appear on orders of the marshal to eliminate adler and his men (who are still effected by the persoc withdraw)
>A massive fight ensues, adler murders the company in a display of acrobatic prowess, bowmen precision and butchery
>thomson, burnside and fofox watch in awe and horror... just awe for burnside
>adler destroys the giff automation but scuti prime escapes into the forest
>adler has a angry orgy with all three femmies (thomson loses the lock of alder hair)
>adler walks out of the forest with burnside
>adler wake up infront of his army covered in blood, automation oil and sex sweat

>Adler: As you come out of your fugue state start remembering fighting off your assailants and bystanders, ravishing the survivors. Including the Griff.
>Shoddy state of the mechanical contraption: Bear silent witness to the elven prince's girth and technique.
>Thomson: Be kinda okay, if shell-shocked.
>Fifi: Be technically unharmed, if having two new tails
>Burnside: You've never been this turned on in your entire life.

Well! Oh my! Well indeed!

(Thomson) Rest in Peace and enjoy your Embrace [depict same].
(Mecha-Griff) Rest in Pieces, scattered over a chunk of swamp.
(Seething Angry Livid Vixen) Stomp off, vowing REVENGE for these insults.
(Seething Angry Livid Vixen) Stomp off in a fashion that allows us to see the change in you.
(HSH Prince Adler) Realize that you may have incurred the wrath of the Scuti, the Sisterhood, and Vulpitania all at once, on top of the issues with the Empire itself.
(Burnside) Babble at high speed.
(Burnside) Be unable to be shut up.
(SALV Silverbrush) Protest at having your eyes covered up just when the good stuff is starting on the scry-orb.
(SALV Silverbrush) Protest at having been ordered to bed just when the good stuff is starting on the scry-orb.
(SALV Silverbrush) Obey orders only after having been bribed with cookies and hot cocoa.
(Marshal T.) Still be confident the threat to the Empire can be met.
(Marshal R.) Be disturbed, in your retirement, by sensing something odd. And we don't mean the large feral frog that's eyeing your tailfur.

>Burnside: Your sudden love and amiration is real, ya knew the boss had it in him.
>Adler: As you come out of your fugue state start remembering fighting off your assailants and bystanders
>Burnside: You've never been this turned on in your entire life.
(Burnside) Babble at high speed.

Despite the Army's raucous shouting, and Burnside's nonstop attestations of love and desire as she attempted to nuzzle and kiss me, my head began to clear .. and I began to recall, with mounting horror, what had happened in the woods a short while earlier.

"Ms. Thomson betrayed me," I murmured bleakly. "SALV Fofox approached me with some of the scariest-looking Wiles I have ever seen .. and some sort of mechanical bird showed up to menace me with a set of steel shears."

"I reckon so, darlin," Burnside cooed. "You ready to love me up again yet?"

Fifi, receive a close haircut

"The bird swung its chopping arm," I continued, remembering. "I ducked, and Fifi backed away just in the nick of time to avoid getting her snout chopped off."

"Sounds excitin, sugar," Burnside giggled. "I'm ready to go again now."

Griff, attempt to snip Adler's tail off. But in the struggle only succeed in cutting off one of Thomson's horns

"The bird cursed and ordered me to stay still," I recalled. "It was flailing wildly. I think maybe it was malfunctioning or something. It swung again, I ducked, and .. it .. it chopped off one of Thomson's horns! Great Fuma, her scream was chilling .."

"Yeah, that's what got my attention at first," Burnside admitted.

"There was blood," I remembered with a shiver. "So much blood. I couldn't believe it. I thought their horns were just dead material, like claws or hair."

"You'd be surprised," Burnside chuckled. "Near as I can tell, it's more like a tooth."

Adler > ask burnside what happened

"I don't remember what happened next," I said, scowling at Burnside. "How did I wind up out here, carrying you? And why are you naked?"

"Well, like I said, I heard the Floozy scream, so I come over real quick to check it out," the raccoon explained.

>That horrible ooze is from the automaton. Burnside .. heard the ruckus. Adler used the bow
Sticky substance, be a mixture of mostly hydraulic fluid and tree sap
Adler, go into your berserker rage. Shoot arrows everywhere. Hit mostly Griff
>adler destroys the giff automation but scuti prime escapes
(Mecha-Griff) Rest in Pieces

"I could see clear across the clearin' big ol' Griff a-standin' there, leanin' into the bushes, with that nasty ol' Scuti hangin' off of him, so I figured he was up to somethin'. Right about the time I got up to him, I heard a noise like a volley of arrows, and Griff fell back with pert' near a whole quiver stickin' in him. The Scuti slithered into the bushes quicker'n a copperhead. I never knew they could move that quick. Before I could even think, he was gone - and then I started hearin' the most interesting noises from back in the bushes."

Thomson, be moderately injured. Lose the hair sample in a pile of white hair strewn all over the place. Be left unconscious under some battered trees.
Adler's berserk rage, switch from physical to love-based attacks.
>adler has a angry orgy
(Thomson) Rest in Peace

"Well, I peeked in through them bushes and what did I see but Ms. Thomson layin' there lookin' mighty dead, and you a-ravishin' that ol' Vulpy gal senseless. Well sir, I had to speak up, so I says 'What yall doin in here? Looks like fun! Mind if I join ya?' and you turned, and you gave me a look that was so lecherous and Unseelie, why, it plum like to give me chills right down to the tips of my toes."

Adler and Burnside, have a "romp in the hay" right between the mangled remains of Griff and the unconscious body of Thomson.
Burnside, swear (and I mean swear) in your wile-induced haze to do anything to help Adler and his cause.
Several soldiers, witness the entire event.
>adler walks out of the forest with burnside
> adler wake up infront of his army covered in blood, automation oil and sex sweat

"Before I could even finish unbuttonin' my blouse, you was a-lungin' at me and a-tearin' my clothes off. You ravished me right there on top o' poor ol' Ms. Thomson, and then you drug me out into the clearin' and ravished me again in front o' the entire Army. They was all a-cheerin' and carryin' on about how you was a true Son of Irenaeus, and I seem to recollect swearin' by Fuma an' all the trees of the woods that I would stick by you an' serve you as my liege lord. Meant every word, too. I ain't never met an elf like you. After that, you ravished me one more time for good measure, and now here we are."

"ALL HAIL THE RIGHTFUL KING OF FAERIE!" the Army shouted as Burnside finished her tale. I waved them to silence.

"So .. was Ms. Thomson dead?" I asked, uneasily.

"She sure looked it," the raccoon femme shrugged.

"What about Fifi Fofox and the Scuti you saw?"

"I dunno, but we can go back to the spot an' look for 'em," Burnside suggested. "I'm a purty good tracker, so if they ain't there, I can maybe get some idea which way they went."

>Thomson: Be kinda okay, if shell-shocked.

We returned to the spot marked by the wreckage of Griff lying in the grass. There was no sign of Ms. Thomson's body, nor of Fifi and the Scuti. Burnside crouched and looked at the ground.

"There's the spot where she was layin," Burnside said, pointing at some grass that was matted and stained with blood. "She either got up on her own, or somebody came and carried her, off toward the northeast. Took the cut-off horn with 'em too."

"And the others?"

"Don't know about the Scuti, but it looks like Fofox took off in the opposite direction," Burnside explained, pointing at some broken underbrush.

(HSH Prince Adler) Realize that you may have incurred the wrath of the Scuti, the Sisterhood, and Vulpitania all at once, on top of the issues with the Empire itself.

I could not suppress a sick, sinking feeling as I pondered the ramifications of these events. Had I just angered the Sisterhood, the Scuti, and Vulpitania all in one reckless blood rage? Not that I liked any of those groups, but still - considering my current state of conflict with the Imperial Crown, I'd have preferred to have them as allies rather than enemies.

"If you're feelin' up to it, I sure could use another ravishin' right about now," Burnside suggested.

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Spoiler

A little distance away:

Scuti Preston, once you gain control, come to an unpleasant realization that the white bum you're attached to might not belong to a skunk
Scuti Preston, flee in your new body. Swear to return for Adler
Alice and Scuti Preston, reunite
>Fifi: Be technically unharmed, if having two new tails
(Seething Angry Livid Vixen) Stomp off, vowing REVENGE for these insults.

"This is humiliating," Fifi grumbled as she lashed both of her tails irritably. "Look at me; I'm a vixen!"

"There are worse things to be, Sire," Alice stated blandly.

"In all the writhing and confusion, I bit the wrong behind," Fifi lamented. "I can't believe I made such a stupid mistake! This body is .. SULLIED. It is still tingling with afterglow, and positively awash with feminine hormones. Disgusting! I think I'm going to be sick!"

"Should we remove her original tail, Sire?" Alice asked politely.

"No, we cannot afford to anger the Vulpitanians right now; and besides, I don't intend to keep this body. My destiny is not to be a vulpine Floozy. I must go back and claim Adler .. but he is cleverer than I thought. We need a plan."

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Spoiler

Back in Albric Tor:

A certain two SALVs in the capitol, also witness everything.
(SALV Silverbrush) Protest at having your eyes covered up just when the good stuff is starting on the scry-orb.

"HEY! C'mon Auntie!" SALV Silverbrush protested, as SALV Chesswick covered her eyes. "Can I look now? Is the grody stuff over yet? I could be missing out on valuable information here!"

"Patience, liebchen," Alberta replied as she peered into the scrying orb. "Our primary agent is compromised, und I am not zo sure ve can trust der Scuti. Fuma in Himmel," she continued, under her breath. "Der Prince is ein ANIMAL! Ein zavage BEAST! I knew I should haff taken zat assignment myzelf..."

>Adler: You find/receive a number of vague but unmistakably threatening messages. It appears everyone you've upset gets their information fast. Probably have those gosh-darned Ixies to thank for that.
>Well Adler, it looks like the only allies you have left are the Duchess, Burnside, and your questionable army. Best of luck.
>Adler: Don't panic. Seriously don't... And stop crying, for Fuma's sake.
>Duchess: Have witnessed Adler unintentionally burning bridges with his previous stunt. "Yes. All according to plan." *super villain-esque evil smile in dim lighting**dim lighting: be the result of someone holding up an umbrella for dramatic effect*

Percy > you lend ms. thomson a hand and carry her northeast back to the capital via fey gates. (percy vibrates with excitement!)

>Percy's earth shaking vibrations of excitment actually give Thomson a bit of motion sickness.

>Thomson: Try to reattach horn. Be only partially successful. Report back to Estmere.
>Estmere: Have personal chill be rather badly harshed.
>Adler: Note that Ireaneus' comb is missing several teeth.
>Back at the Palace: Dodie and Lana: Get confusing reports. Start planning how to turn recent events to your own advantage.
>Shrub Army: Shiver uneasily in a sudden cold breeze.

SALV Chesswick > report to sisterhood of events

Fofox > find yourself in a odd place and a sore behind but you put that down to the ravishing you received from adler and not being controlled by a scuti.

Percy > after a jolly good conversation with mr gator and documenting his wonderful songs (you think so), you move on to explore. you find a naked ms. thomson trying to put her horn back on with little success, she looks very weak. you help her with some parchment glue as a temp horn fix. you lend her a hand and carry her northeast back to the capital via fey gates. (percy vibrates with excitement!)

sisterhood > Infighting! between Pro adler supporters and Pro adler supporters (scutti adler plan vs adler plan)

Estmere > "whats going on??" he says as he sees all the floozies in unarmed martial art combat

>Adler: How about that codpiece now, and some leather straps across your chest like true Ireneian scion you are?
>Adler: The only ally you haven't alienated is the Duchess. Time to bite the bullet and get her to help you.
>Adler: Discover that negotiating a good deal from a position of weakness is really really hard!
>Duchess: Have a field day with your demands, ranging from preposterous to just plain rubbing it in.

Seconding Percy being the one who carried Thomson away (and her horn being all wonky).

>Estmere: Watch with approval as unarmed Floozy combat becomes undressed Floozy combat.

>Addler: The Vulpitians and Scuttis were already your enemies (and likely working together) and both tried to stab you in the back. simultaneously. You didn't anger them, they encured your wrath and it's about time you taught the world the difference.

>As of the sisterhood, it was the automate that cut thompson horn, let the sisterhood and the scuttis be mad at each others, that'll get them out of your fur for a while

>That said maybe it's about time you took some proactive steps to protect yourself, ask the duchess, are there still elves that can build automata outside of vulpitia.
> (..And maybe if someone can forge some discreet back and butt armor)

>Maybe you could try majyking your own tail to make it cut proof..

>Alice: Realise your own automaton isn't working so well, seems you took a few princely arrow in the legs and knee

>SALV Fofox: Start fighting back for control of your (?) body leading to hilarious two personalities/one body hyjinx

>SALV Silverbrush: As you catch a glimpse of Adler little crisis, start fearing puberty.

>"Scuti Fofox": The search for a suitable host continues, look for one amongst Alder's ragtag army. End up chosing one that's even less desirable than the current one (Fofox), but not before ordering Alice to dispose of Fofox.

>Alice: Deposit Fofox in some bushes well away from the outpost...sans clothes. Escape unseen when Fofox starts to wake up.

>SALV Fofox: Wake up sore everywhere. Attributes said soreness to Adler's berserker lust. Is chagrined at succumbing so easily to said berserker lust...you have a B grade in wiles dammit! It felt good but this was not to happen!! Time to put plan B into effect. Then realize you're in your fur...

>Lem Junior: Be impressed. Alder has it in him after all!

>Someone in the ragtag army: Be aghast that a kid is there, berate Lemmy & Salmonella for being irresponsible parents.

>Adler: Consider your situation very carefully...

>Duchess: Have witnessed Adler unintentionally burning bridges with his previous stunt. "Yes. All according to plan." *super villain-esque evil smile

"What a show!" Duchess Catherine chuckled from the shade of the Diplomatic Outpost porch. "I reckon this changes things a bit, don't it?"

You didn't anger them, they encured your wrath and it's about time you taught the world the difference.

"Three different factions tried to conquer me, and they failed!" I exclaimed. "Now they scatter in disarray to await my wrath! You'd best keep that in mind, Your Grace, if you would parley with me!"

>Lem Junior: Be impressed. Alder has it in him after all!

"Here," Lem Junior said as he suddenly walked up to me and bashfully handed me Irenaeus' helmet. "I reckon you got the balls to wear this after all. Both figuratively and literally. Sorry I made fun of you earlier."

"Apology accepted, young elf," I replied, taking the helmet. "Let that be a lesson to you, not to be so quick to judge others."

>Someone in the ragtag army: Be aghast that a kid is there, berate Lemmy & Salmonella for being irresponsible parents.

"BY FUMA'S EVER-FRAGRANT RUMP!!" MacBrock bellowed. "What's a wee bairn, a mere elflet, doing here amidst these bawdy and lecherous troops?"

"You is one of the lecheriest your own self," Salmonella scoffed. "Wasn't you carryin' the boy on your shoulders just an hour ago?"

"You're an irresponsible parent!" MacBrock bellowed. "If ye were the lad's father, why, I'd sock ye a good one."

"I ain't a baby," Lem Junior grumbled. "I'll be old enough to ravish femmes purty soon, and didn't nothin' happen here that I don't already know about."

"We're raisin him proper," Salmonella insisted. "When he comes of age we'll send him to Antglade Station for the Duchess's right of the first night, and then he'll marry up with a nice possum gal."

>Well Adler, it looks like the only allies you have left are the Duchess, Burnside, and your questionable army. Best of luck.
>Adler: How about that codpiece now, and some leather straps across your chest like true Ireneian scion you are?
> Adler: The only ally you haven't alienated is the Duchess. Time to bite the bullet and get her to help you.
ask the duchess, are there still elves that can build automata outside of vulpitia.
> (..And maybe if someone can forge some discreet back and butt armor)
>Maybe you could try majyking your own tail to make it cut proof..

I left them bickering and trudged up onto the porch.

"Why Adler honey, you ain't decent," the Duchess exclaimed breathily. "I might just come down with a case of the Vapors."

"I'm sure," I retorted. "Might you have any idea why Irenaeus' helm fits me now, after it didn't before?"

"I reckon you musta proved you was elf enough to wear it," she replied with a grin.

"He sure is," Burnside enthusiastically agreed. "The elfliest elf you ever did see!"

"You want the rest of Irenaeus' battle regalia?" Catherine asked. "I think I got a codpiece with leather breeks and braces in the chest here. Course the britches don't have a tail hole in 'em."

"No thanks," I said, removing the helmet and handing it to her. "I think I prefer my silk jacket .. if I can find it. The helmet is hot and heavy, it smells funny, and it crushes my ears. Though your mention of tail holes reminds me that I should protect my posterior from potential Scuti attack. I don't suppose .."

"Adler honey, nobody has ever made butt armor," the Duchess chuckled while shaking her head.

Perhaps I could formulate some Gramarye for that.

"Are there any more automata which the Scuti might be able to use?" I asked.

"Well there's Jack, but he's malfunctionin'. And besides, they'd have to get clear into the Antglade to fetch him. Seems mighty unlikely."

"Hmm. Well I need to find some clothes .." I started.

"What for?" Burnside interjected.

"And then maybe we can discuss strategy," I finished.

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Spoiler

Excerpted from the Chanson du Percy le Gobelet.

>Thomson: Try to reattach horn. Be only partially successful. Report back
Percy > after a jolly good conversation with mr gator and documenting his wonderful songs (you think so), you move on to explore. you find a naked ms. thomson trying to put her horn back on with little success, she looks very weak. you help her with some parchment glue as a temp horn fix.

Hark! Percy heard a maiden sobbing somewhere deeper in the forest. How could this fair land contain so much sorrow and strife, he wondered to himself. Wrapped in such musings, he left the Melancholy Bard's cave and went in search of this new adventure.

"Oh brave sir," the beauteous maiden cried upon seeing him. "My beautiful horn is cleft in twain, and I am injured from assault by a dastardly villain, from whom I fled precipitately, leaving all behind, including my raiment. I am disfigured, and compelled to clothe myself in leaves, after the manner of the most primitive of our kind. Oh weal, oh woe."



"Fret not, fair damsel," quoth Percy, nobly leaping to the maiden's aid. "Though I am but a lowly scribe by trade, I have a pot of bookbinder's glue upon my person, which should most admirably mend thy horn."

"Oh clever sir, it is truly a stroke of divine luck that you happened by."

lend her a hand and carry her northeast back to the capital via fey gates. (percy vibrates with excitement!)
Seconding Percy being the one who carried Thomson away (and her horn being all wonky).

After mending her horn with glue and a piece of gay ribbon, brave Percy helped the maiden to her hooves.

"Lean upon me," he said most nobly. "I shall carry you where you wish to go."

"I am bound for the capital of Elf-Land," the maiden explained. "It is far, and not for the eyes of mortals to behold."

"I shall close my eyes," Percy promised, with many valiant vibrations. "Only let me aid thee, most beauteous lady, and I shall be content. Otherwise how shall you make the journey in your present state?"

"Seriously, I shall be fine," the maiden reassured him. "But I must make all haste back to the capital, to report to my superiors -"

let the sisterhood and the scuttis be mad at each others, that'll get them out of your fur for a while

Before the maiden could finish talking, LO! A bright and sparkling lady-bug flew toward them, and spoke thusly:

"Belay thy journey to Albric Tor; thou art not to abandon thy post! Wouldst leave the Prince with no Sisterhood agents to watch over him?"

"She hath a point," the maiden sighed as the insect flitted away. "But the Prince waxeth powerful. I must first take steps to assure my own safety."



"What manner of sorcery do you wreak there?" Percy asked.

"A poppet I make, from a tuft of Adler's fur and a dab of his Masculine Essence. With this, I can influence his will and make him compliant with my designs."

"Adler, say you?" Percy gasped. "I am well familiar with this dastardly white skunk-elf and his impolite deeds."

Adler > you start to move towards the forest again to retrieve your clothes, then realize its not a good idea, Thomson could be in there waiting to mind control you (if shes alive), the scuti could be readying another ambush.

Adler > send your army to find your clothes instead.

Adler > while you wait, discuss strategies with the duchess. maybe a agreement to "make antglade great again"

"Adler honey, nobody has ever made butt armor,"

> Yeah, well there a first time for everything. Maybe gramayre some padded clothes so that it look transparent


>Addler: You aren't going to take the capital with the just ragtag army you have now so you need to recruit and reinforce ...but waiting without action means the other side could organise and reinforce as well.

>Not to mention the queen may be calling upon her father for reinforcement and that would be /bad.

>Maybe you could turn some of the crown allies to your side. Isolate the capital, turn the church, find way to be more legitimate.

>In fact the queen youre real enemy, if you could paint /her as the villain pu,petting your borther int he shadow in some gran cospiracy with the vulpitian and other groups (not that far from the truth even) you'd actualy look like the 'good guy' forced to take arms to save truth, persimon pie and the elf ways...

>Percy: Be actualy smarter than people take you for.
>Percy: Do remember that the 'fair maiden' was with Adller earlier (you still sting from where she whaloped you in the face) but be playing along because... how often do you get to talk to elven maidens so close ?
>Percy: Bond with Thompson over your mutual frustration yet attraction/fascination with Adller.

>A lone militiaman sheepishly approaches Adler. Apparently the soldiers wish show their respect and admiration as well as apologize for silently doubting him earlier. They wish to bestow upon Adler the highest and most sacred honor a warrior may give to their commander. Each and every last one of them wishes to give Adler a noogie. If he says "no", it will shatter their morale as well as their hearts.

>Adler, your "free spirit" is distracting the womenfolk and making the menfolk feel less so. Get thee clothed, sir.

>Adler: Burnside keeps hanging onto you. It may be annoying, but it's better to let her get tired of it and wander off on her own. At least she's not stabbing or biting anyone.

>Now begins the negotiations. The Duchess has a glint in her eye, watch out.

>Unfortunately for her, that hair Thomson used is actually from Fifi. Instead of controlling Adler, it makes Fifi think she's Adler. Hijinks ensue.

>Thomson: Be surprised that you don't have to use wiles on Percy. He does everything you tell him to on his own.

>Thomson: Convince Percy to wear leaves so you can wear his clothes. Lowfolk make or not, it's better than nothing.

Adler: You can probably ask for some sort of armored tail sleeve made of either leather or chainmail to defend your buttocks from unwanted scutis.

Not all of the hair in the poppet, come from Adler. A couple of strands, be Fifi's.
Poppet, when finished, have weird effects on the two affected parties. Three, if Scuti Preston is still in control of Fifi.

Adler, note that the Duchess hasn't really answered your automaton question.

Burnside, come up with a cunning plan. The kind that would make a certain fellow named "Baldrick" proud.

I find Salmonella's comment about Lem Junior and the Duchess's right of first night to be highly disturbing...