Good patent ideas

Originally posted by a deleted user

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golden .45 revolver, powered by dreams. shoots lightning

Canned bread

a genetically engineered monkey that can be eaten by bananas

fire. nobody's patented fire yet, you'll make a killing

a page a day calendar where every day, is a different page

alger hiss trial playset

soggy gruel, mixed with mud and gravel, served to eat

time.

time.

nobody's patented time yet, you'll make a killing

a write-your-own-US-constitution mad lib. we might not be able to patent this since it's what basically everyone does anyway

if God doesn't exist (yet) we can patent it. if He doesn't we'll make a killing on sales of religious books and if He does then the patent will be rejected and we'll know for sure!

Earth! No one's patented Earth yet! THE WORLD WILL BE MINE! A-HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!

a "DEfirmative action" button. or a "affirmative INaction" bumper sticker, not sure. "infirmative deaction??" work in progress, point is, minorities don't need more opportunity than they currently have

Canned bread

best patent since sliced bread

edit: wait if i slice the can open am i infringing or not

jelly beans shaped like the body parts of ronald reagan. head, torso, leg, etc. it's for communion

a choose-your-own-adventure book, but with a heavyhanded political moral

edit: oh wait, wheat already posted that one last page under a spoiler

Canned bread

best patent since sliced bread

edit: wait if i slice the can open am i infringing or not

any modification to an existing or outdated patent cannot be patented.

For example, combining two types of screwdrivers into one screwdriver is a modification to one or the other screwdriver.

Maybe if you slice the can with a Limited Edition Canned Bread Can Slicer™
oh no, that's my patent now

autodialer that tells people the wrong places and times voting booths open, that knows only how to dial minorities

steampunk crypto currency

edible crypto currency

radio that never plays country or rap

Crypt currency, you'll make a killing when the skeleton war begins

Crypt currency, you'll make a killing when the skeleton war begins

banks are already just tombs for dollars

banks: where money goes to die

jimmy... you know how your allowance was getting sick... so we took it out to the stock market, where it can run and play with all the other definitely-real money and get fresh air! it just wants to circulate, jimmy, it's much happier now