Quick Dirty Bastards: For All The Lovers Out There

A good day to all of my admirers.

Today, something very interesting happened! It all started out while I was writing a letter to Horizon's publishing offices to address the horrific grammar errors found in their most recent Poet's Digest. I was interrupted by one 'Dr Angstrom' (a doctor who, as my followers will know, I had met playing a storytelling game with Peter Marshall) called me and informed me that the world may be ending. I put my tirade on hold for the moment and met him at the parlor of the hotel in which he was staying. It was a miserable little place, all but falling apart outright. Then again, I suppose that one attends these world-ending-news meetings to hear the world-ending-news rather than discuss decor.

Regardless, there was quite the party gathered there. Most of the new friends I'd met at the recent bank heist (see Blog Post #431) and the storytelling game were there, along with a handful of anarchists that I hadn't met before. Angstrom then proceeded to tell us his theory about the Seattle leyline. Its destruction has created a hole to nowhere, which may lead the world's magic to start draining out, which will of course lead to the loss of all life on the planet. Apparently the cloud hanging over Seattle is serving as a disgusting, unreliable plug (which is lucky, since it means that we aren't all going to die right away). A fellow named Pete November, who I haven't actually met but know by reputation as a new major employer for the Yakuza, is apparently trying to make a bridge between Tokyo and Seattle, which may or may not be helpful or harmful in preventing the end of the world. While the others discussed whether or not they should maybe try to stop him, a grenade came in through the window. As it turned out, Pete November was right outside with a small army, including some mechs and a handful of what I was later informed were dragons. After talking through a megaphone about things I really didn't care about, the bastard had me shot. Me, shot! Can you imagine? It was entirely inelegant and sublimely painful. While other less important things happened, I wrote the following in commemoration of the event -

It was amidst the moldy, rotting air
With gun made bursts of noise and light
That I first felt my very body tear
And knew the sharp sting of a traitor's bite

The haze of pain o'er my eyes did fall
Sudden from the sky like a weeping cloud
That fosters the droop-headed flowers all
And hides the green hill in an April shroud

As blood seeped out, I saw the blow
It had cut me like the steel thorn
That laid the Eternal Hunter low
A foul strike, in treachery born

Through the fog of pain, I swore to remember
To bring my vengeance against Pete November

After that composition and helping levitate Angstrom from a hole he had tactically created in the ground by falling through the floor of the hotel, I made the intelligent decision to leave and help kill some of the yakuza bent towards this traitor's cause. The alternative option was, of course, dying in a firefight. Then I got into a very nice car (I believe it was called a Comet - anyways, it was very nice). While I was doing so, Peter arrived, having woken up from his morphine-coma, and he, Harvestine, some digital sprite thingies, and Angstrom (who all apparently seem less keen on avoiding dying in firefights) managed to fend off the laser-firing dragons and mechs for a little while. They were rescued by the sudden arrival of a bulletproof car named Ben, who some of the others in the group apparently knew.

We all met up at Peter and Lydia's apartment. Apparently I shouldn't have shared the address of this apartment in my last blog post, since the group now contains a number of fugitives. Kaz's sister came to the apartment to provide medical attention, and we all tallied our injuries. For some reason, priority was given to those that are now missing limbs. I regret to say that I didn't receive all of the medical attention that I could have gotten, and regret even more deeply the fact that I was unable to mindlink with our possibly dying companion, Miranda. Melinda? Melanie? Whatever. Her name isn't important anymore since she doesn't get one of my beautiful eulogies. You can all blame Kaz for this travesty.

Next we set about talking with Ben the Car. Lydia led off the torture by dumping him and placing him in a vulnerable state for Harvestine and I to take advantage of. Sadly, no torture was necessary for him to disclose that Pete November is a workaholic and can virtually always be found in the Saeder-Krupp building. We began plotting his murder. I have held off on publishing this post for this very reason; by the time that you are reading this, his murder will have been completed.

Writing without publishing is hard, and I dearly hope to never have to suffer from the inability to share my work again.

N Keats

SpoilerShow

Quick Karmic update:

Episode 20: (You should have these in your notes already)
Pharms: 9
Mirdini: 6
Chwoka: 5
Scott: 5
Schazer: 5
Para: 4
Sai: 2

Episode 21a/b:
Schaz: 7
Scott: 5
Sai: 10
Chwoka: 10
Pharms: 9
Mirdini: 10
Para: 10
Godbot: 4

Episode 22: (This you don't have yet)

Scott: 2
Schaz: 2
Godbot: 2
Para: 4
Pharms: 5
Chwoka: 4
Mirdini: 4
Sai: 6

5k(ilos) for lydia's 2k(armas)

Resources from the skypelog:

lessee, going down the list: the only ghost support you have is Lea, the battered remains of the Discordians and the Yakuza, Mr. Ko (Harv's Dad iirc) can assemble a small contingent of Aztech mages by calling in favors if requested, Hoa can supply equipment and light support personnel, Renraku can supply equipment and a squad of Direborg...

Kaz can inform you of the threat level of PtEST's meat puppets (such as himself) and Keats is aware of the tight biometric security systems protecting the inner workings of the building

additionally, you guys have a rough power estimate of the dragons and have seen Pete utilize Skarkotrons in combat

You have Agatha, Eris, and Sho with you presently. All other NPC's are currently unaccounted for.

Bullet point summary - Finale Part 1

* Maxine is now Maximus, a rigger cocooned in a humanoid drone. It can throw dragons through (thin) walls.
* Two dragons ended up being an easy encounter for a group of eight tricked out runners. They literally got run over. One lived with no arms, the other took a van full of explosives to the everywhere. Harvestine survived said van explosion, on account of being Harvestine, and while she was out for a bit she's feeling much better now.
* A plan was formed to penetrate Saeder-Krupp:
a) Crack-fueled laser penguins are dropped on the roof from a helicopter, supported by a house-sized mech piloted by Agatha, our team's favorite kind, old lady. Leandre provides sniper support and reasonable degrees of cowardice.
b) Tier 1 NPC team of Eris and JJ venture to a power plant to cut off the Saeder-Krupp building's main power.
c) The possibly not instantly recognized as enemies team of Yakuza, led by Sho, cuts off the secondary generator.
d) The elite team of the QDB proper, supported by a squad of dire borg, would disguise themselves as construction workers and enter via an underground tunnel system leading to B5, and then melt / rappel / gently walk down to B7, the location of Pete's sanctuary, where they can kill him. Deputy Virtue, a Pete November almost-lookalike was modified to be a true Pete November lookalike and pass biometrics to let us in.
* Kaz found out his best friend was killed, and was reasonably upset. After a brief sharkatronocaust, he declared he had no time for plans. He led Team B to cause power problems, and was almost instantly successful.
* Team A encountered the main contingent of Sharkotrons and promptly caused a laser sharknado
* Team D worked out with all the subtlety and grace that QDB are renowned for. They (re)discovered a magical lab, where Harvestine and Angstrom got magic focii.
* Team C had absolutely no luck, and instead found themselves caught up in the laser sharknado battle.
* Harvestine and the direborg squad went upstairs to cut off the secondary generator on B3 while the remainder of Team D (hereafter referred to as Prime Squad) went rappelling down an elevator shaft with the elevator car above them. It did not get dropped on their heads.
* Prime Squad found an imprisoned Damien, all jacked up on cyber. The door to his cell was sealed shut thanks to Harvestine's apparent success. They nonetheless freed him with the power of friendship and explosions, summoning PtEST and a squad of Sharkatrons.
* The Yakuza were ordered to stop dying and extract themselves to the basement area.
* Shodan was blinded due to an attempt at negotiation, but still had more firepower than the rest of Prime Squad combined. Lydia saved Damien, Keats directed a whip through magic and penmanship, Guy did matrix magic, Angstrom was a wall and a half, Peter was the last half of wall, and blind Shodan shot the bad mans. Keats and Deputy learned how electric damage works.
* Guy defeats PtEST in dishonurabu matrix combat, blowing up his e-house (which makes PtEST mortal) and swearing to kill him with a passion that literally resonated through the matrix.
* Kaz and Harvestine returned to the group. The borg squad was set as rearguard (aka sharkatron hunting), while the QDB entered the locked sanctum (opened without power thanks to improvised explosives). Therein, they encountered DARKNESS where something LARGE AND MAGNIFICENT stirred.

Oh hey so uh

CHOOSE YOUR OWN FINALE

• If we caught the pod, and everbody's alive, including Pete, but the ship's wrecked, stay on this page, it's the ending you already have!
  
• If we didn't catch the pod, and Peter, Damien, and Pete are all dead, but the ship's fine, turn to page 20!
  
• If no pod was made, and Shodan went down with the station and dragged Pete with her to Hell, turn to page 40!
  

'Aight so here's the ending Scott and I agreed upon:

*Only Guy got off the space station; The other spare space suit was damaged by Pete November because he's an idiot.
* Pete gets promptly knocked on his ass afterwards.
*The course of the space station is rectified to come down on Artyom's head, ending his threat for good.
*In the wreckage Pete November's corpse is found... but there's no sign of Peter, Shodan and Damien (other than his three limbs.)

This means:

Artyom won't find a way to hound the bastards in season 3.
The shuttle wasn't damaged, so any variant of Lofwyr is pissed isn't in play.
Magic is acting damn weird since it just got a tremendous boost from a massive passing alien ley line.
And Seattle is apparently under quarantine by Magus Margery for unknown reasons.

I'm okay with this ending. It's essentially the same as the "Shodan goes down the ship" ending, it just renders Shodan MIA instead of dead and Peter thoroughly redamseled. I think it's more dramatic to just have them confirmed to die if we're retiring them, but on the other hand, we can never have enough dangling plot hooks!

Dangling plot hooks make the world go round.

Putting in a request for a written version of the scene in the falling space station. Basically just because I want Shodan pressing Pete's face into the window of a falling space station while yelling at him to be a thing.

Keats and Bernanke scope out the hit -

Keats: “Stage one of the hit - gathering intel. We have to watch our target closely to learn his habits.”
Bernanke: “What are you using the binoculars for?”
Keats: “Well, looking through, obviously.”
Bernanke: “But you’re casting clairvoyance.”
Keats: “Yes?”
Bernanke: “Can’t you just make the image appear closer?”
Keats: “Look, asking why I use binoculars is as silly as asking why I use rappelling equipment.”
Bernanke: “Why DO you use rappelling equipment?”
Keats: “To rappel!”
Bernanke: “Mrrrr.”
Bernanke: “Equipment aside, are you sure now is a good time for this?”
Keats: “Of course it is, now is the perfect time for it!”
Bernanke: “But he’s aslee-”
Keats: “SHH! He’s breathing!”
Bernanke: “That’s a bit creepy.”
Keats: “You’re just jealous you can’t breathe anymore.”
Bernanke: “Mrrrrr.”

Keats: “Stage two of the hit - listing out the opponent’s strengths and weaknesses. Bernanke?”
Bernanke: “Well for starters, he’s a massive, ridiculously strong troll.”
Keats: “Musclebound and potentially slow. Got it.”
Bernanke: “He’s decked out from head to toe in cyberware.”
Keats: “Low essence… abilities can be disabled. Got it.”
Bernanke: “He’s surrounded by a cadre of guards almost all the time.”
Keats: “Not self reliant. Anything else?”
Bernanke: “His supposed hit mage is insane?”
Keats: “Now that’s just rude. Poets aren’t crazy, we’re sensitive.”

You think I’m naive for a hit mage
and you’ve killed so many people
I guess it must be so
But still I cannot see
If the naive one is me
how can there be so much that you don’t know?
You don’t know…

You think you kill just to complete objectives
A hit is just a murder where you’re paid
But I have mindlinked many dying creatures
Their last thoughts, their last feelings, their last pain

You think the only people who are people
Are you, and well I guess that’s it just you.
But if you hear the last breaths of a target
You’ll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever felt the regrets of a dying goon?
Or asked the bleeding hacker how he feels?
Can you sing with all the voices of your victims?
Can you write with all their blood and suffering?
Can you write with all their blood and suffering?

Come run the shadows of an urban jungle
Come taste the salty iron of the blood
Come revel in the slaughter all around you
And for once, never wonder what it’s worth

The gang lord and the vagrant are my muses
As are the disasters created by my friends
And we’ve all at one point tried to kill each other
It’s an orgy of violence that never ends

How high can your body count grow?
If the missile lands, then you’ll never know

And you’ll never feel the regrets of a dying goon
For whether we have whips or magic limbs
We can sing with all the voices of our victims
We can write with all their blood and suffering

You can kill everyone and still
They will be only kills until
You can write with all their blood and suffering

we did it

EPILOGUES

GUY PETERSON, main character, becomes King of the Matrix, reunited with all eight of his dads.

BEN BERNANKE, who isn't actually Ben Bernanke, opens up permanent UV nodes on top of every leyline in the world, and becomes a rich man charging tolls.

LADY LIBERTY helps BARRY H. OBAMA pull His America back together from the coups and instability it devolved into in his absence.

SHODAN is stuck on the astral plane, but she can't complain. At least she has DAMIEN TANNER!

PETE NOVEMBER doesn't get to hang out with them, though, because it turns out he was never alive in the first place.

DR. ANGSTROM secures further funding and becomes the world premiere researcher on the inter-connectivity between the matrix, astral, and physical planes.

KAZUKI FUJIMOTO finishes his entire character arc in about a half hour, makes nice with his older brother, his anime nature, and nabs a management position at Shiawase. He's in charge of increasing radditude exponentially every quarter.

NATHAN KEATS, thanks to his blog, and Guy's internet-wide promotion of it, becomes a celebrity assassin. The only time he can get any peace and quiet is on obscure missions to the middle of nowhere that the target never seems to show up to, only a fellow Evocorp assassin lady, who also must keep getting fooled by these unscrupulous Mr. Johnsons.

HARVESTINE keeps on keepin' on. She settles down as best as a Harvestine can, doing odd jobs, greening Seattle, and selling explosions to JJ. One day, she will be chairwoman of the Environmental Offensive Agency.

LYDIA DECEMBER SHEILA JANUARY gets her soul and material-girl status, but still feels empty. She studies up on magic, anything she thinks could bring PETER MARSHALL back — to no avail. Any day now, though... any day.