So you want to be a millionare?

Too bad, I have all the dollars.

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CURSE YOU, REYWELLLLLLLLLD

For being the first responder, I will give you this reward:
(I couldn't risk not having all the dollars, so instead I gave you a painting.)

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I humbly accept this fortune

aw man the topic title was cut off in the forum thing and i was hoping this thread was about wanting to be millipedes

Jokes on you, Reyweld! Your monopoly on dollars is useless when I hold the monopoly to GOLD

I am already a millionaire.

in dogecoins.



(very money. such richness. so pile. wow.)

Who needs money when you have commodity? This cheese? This is worth way more.

*Credit holds cheese*

You can eat cheese

*Credit eats a piece of cheese*

But you can't eat paper! Nope, never gonna sell this baby in a million years

*cheese expires five days later*

Hello yes I'd like one million please

Hello yes I'd like one million please

Here it is, a lifetime supply of bananas

Don't be so quick to dismiss dollars. They have so many purposes:

• Can be offered to the banking god for property.
  
• Can be lit on fire for warmth/arson
  
• Can be shredded in paper shredder (such entertainment)
  
• Also bedding and recreational swimming (Donald Duck style)
  

See! Look at all those tasty options. Except for food. So hungry.....

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Can I have some eats Goblin's? I haven't had a banana since I became the head +body of an evil corporation and overthrowing the local government didn't help.

Well considering there is no way I could eat one million bananas in the time it would take them to rot, please eat as many as you'd like.

This also means, since it is a lifetime supply, that I will die within two weeks or I will never eat another banana again after that.

Whose lifetime?

a housefly's. Because that's the least amount of time it takes for a banana to rot on your counter.

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I already showed no remorse! There isn't any more remorse that I don't show! If you're looking to extract further lack of remorse, then you must have some nerve. And you've also come to the wrong place.

Go to goblin's instead. goblin's killed that one guy and never told anyone about it.

if only legs cost a dollar a piece

if only legs cost a dollar a piece

Then I could exchange all of the dollars for all of the legs.

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SpoilerLook at my glorious lackey. Or should I say...

Leggy.

Centipedes are scary venomous motherfuckers who eat raw flesh (and by raw flesh I mean bugs, mostly. Raw bug flesh). Millipedes are rotund and herbivorous and cute

Reyweld, i don't think you understand what you got into when you made this offer.

You're practically peddling illegal drugs. I can't believe I didn't check sooner but Money is a controlled substance under Schedule II of the United States Controlled Substances Act. Money may induce vomiting, high cholesterol, heart-attacks, death, post-mortem heart-attacks, melanism, melonism, capitalism, financial downturns, financial upturns, financial downturns, hobophobia (a remarked fear of lower-class citizens), hoboism (an intense desire to become a lower-class citizen), consumerism, consume-burgerism, technocratism, Presbyterianism, Judaism, Catholicism, Muslim, Muslimism, Slim-slamism, Darwinism, Lamarckism, escapism, Hippocratism,

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Spoiler(a vegetative state in which the mind simulates an environment in which the subject is a crate covered with hippo stickers all the while claiming to be and confabulating various statements that may or may not have been said by Hippocrates)

cultural schism, despootism, 420blazizm (burn dat ku$hmoney real gud), politicism, political correctism, voting (requires immediate medical attention), socialism, socratism, spookism, racism, fascism, faceism, maceism, masochism, smackism (talkin' lethal doses of perjury, on da street, yo), massism (the state of having mass), many fatal types of -isms too horrifying to mention, diarrhea (not limited to: verbal, mental, aethereal, phantasmagorical, ad diarrhesium (pretty much ad nauseam BUT WORSE)), the wrath of various gods, drug addiction, rug addiction, Ugg addiction (they're really ugly so I understand why this might be the worst one yet), DnD addiction, dictionary addiction, diction (an obsession with how words are correctly pronounced), decision-making, pie-making, Pi-making, pathological lie-making, money-making (with possible use of money-makers, a contraband substance in many countries), maymay-making, windows movie maker making, movie remake remaking, re-making of previously remade movie remakes, makey-makey making, gainful employment, a healthy lifestyle, wealth, and worst

of

all

a paper cut. Because handling all that damn money. Like. ow.

Subjects exposed to such an omnicidal hazard should take measures to burn all money in their immediate vicinity, including any passerby that happen to be carrying the substance. Those who continue to "buy" things will have the money forcibly expelled from their wallets and all orifices through the use of blunt weaponry.

So with all these warnings in mind, we should steer clear of Reyweld's demonicly-possessed ravings promises of free capital.

This was Credit on a comprehensive guide on How Not to Money. Find a copy of his latest book online for $19.99

Credit, you forget:
It's not about the money, money, money
I don't need your money, money, money
I just wanna make the world legless dance,
Forget about the health risks price tag
Ain't about the (uh) ch-ch-ching ch-ching
Ain't about the (yeah) bl-bling bl-bling
Wanna make the world dance,
Forget about the price tag, won't you?

Forget about the price tag, won't you?

Yeah yeah fine okay the book is now $9.99.

But the International Monetary Fund (the governing body on all things $$$) will know about this! You are in NO condition to be giving people their financial fix. You have green, paper-like growths on your skin!

Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg
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Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg
Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg
Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg
Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg
Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg
Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg Leg

I'm so sorry, Wheat. I'm sorry that I tricked you.