daily drawings

A while ago around feb 19 I had a fun time making enough drawings that I decided I should make it a daily thing.

After some time, it became something like "an emotional diary." It's pretty personal, and the quality varies sometimes - from when I have more things to express, to when I just wanted to make sure I kept it up, to when I wanted to test some tricks on the page.

The first were somewhat differently shaped, and there's some "extras" here and there, but for the most part these are all done on Muji craft paper memo pads with the Muji ink brush pen.

Feb 19 2019

The first day was a pile of drawings... I made a whole bunch.

recently i started doing daily drawings...

i've been feeling super useless on a lot of things. so it gives me a bit of happiness.

it's sort of like ... everyday emotions. each drawing, i try to express something like how i felt each day.

Feb 20 2019

I think I stayed up too late in the night. (2 AM... not even bad by today's standards, unfortunately)

Feb 21 2019

Have you seen Komi-san? I think I might have been drawn to that sort of style. On the other hand, I was consciously trying to draw inspiration from si_ku's style as well.

Feb 22 2019

this one was sort of after a day i felt really empty... i was looking for some feeling which i couldn't find anymore

Feb 23 2019

i sketched this one first since i was unsure about the pose. i didn't know if i could do it

i think the drawing ended up with a different feeling than the sketch. it was like... because i focused more on "copying the sketch" than "drawing"

since these are all freehand, it's tricky...

Feb 24 2019

i stayed up way too late today trying to get work done.... but i felt really accomplished (and also in pain) by the end

Feb 25 2019

felt troubled today

the drawing is a bit more dramatic than before... i think i wanted to try and go back to the original "mysterious" feeling.

making the script vertical was a weird decision...

Feb 26 2019

Feb 27 2019

i drew another one before this one.

i'd been staying up way too late every day a for a long time... (even right now i ended up with a bad sleep schedule and awful time management)

i didn't like how the other one turned out though. so i drew this one...

it's one of my favorites

Feb 28 2019

Even now this one repulses me.

very disassociated... sort of feeling...

very detached. i was feeling really out of it this day.

i drew two things because the first one didn't feel official.

for some reason after drawing it, i felt like i wanted to throw up.

i didn't like either of the drawings i made that day.

March 1 2019

forlorn

March 2 2019

this is one of those times i honestly feel like i kind of forced myself

March 3 2019

that day i felt low on creative energy and overall steam...

i ended up drawing a scene from my worldbuilding stuff. but i felt kinda low overall.

the "official" drawing this day... was after the other one.

i'm definitely inspired by https://si-ku.her.jp/ for a lot of these art. but there's also yume nikki inspiration that's stuck with me forever...

also shan shui hua (chinese traditional water ink painting, sumi-e in japan). it's something i enjoy.

March 4 2019

i really have no clue what happened the first try today.

i drew some scary stuff on paper with pencil again, and tried doing a pencil drawing, which was pretty different.

the numbers are 01 and 05... 2-4 are in a different folder

March 5 2019

i felt really short on inspiration today

but i felt that i was trying to think freer and try to work towards less ... mental violence towards myself

i think that might have been what led to the content.

after this someone asked a question about the script... even thought that usually happens, i decided to try and catalog the text. i noticed that it got a lot blockier... next day i'd try to go back to the style i liked the most

March 6 2019

dealing with inner demons

i went back to a freer script style here.

also.... i always wondered about what the deal is with the eye themes and mouth themes from the "scarier" stuff i draw

is it something to do with "fear of being noticed?" is it something to do with social anxiety... wanting to disappear? not recognizing myself?

body horror is a strong theme...

March 7 2019

i ended up staying up too late for too many days in a row and felt completely empty.

but i like how this drawing turned out...

March 8 2019

5 AM...

March 9 2019

i tried to record myself drawing today, but it cut off halfway through.

i uploaded it to discord:

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/4...-00-43.mp4

March 10 2019

i keep on saying i'll wish to work harder to turn my life around and fix my discipline and work ethic and negative self-esteem...

this is actually a different idea than i went in with. originally i wanted to draw something more like "sitting on a grassy field and looking at the sky"

but i wasn't able to get that after about 10 tries.

in the end i think that it's better when i just go by instinct and draw... i like this one a lot. it's very peaceful and kind of positive.

here is the recording for that one: https://www.dropbox.com/s/ruhjzoelrccymk...1.mp4?dl=0

i managed to get the entire video.

thank you for liking these drawings! sometimes i get nervous that "i'm only doing this because i want to show other people" and put myself down but
honestly, it's something which i do for myself, first... i do this because i enjoy it, and because i enjoy these i want to share that with other people.
i have to remind myself of that a lot of the time.

March 11 2019

"even if it doesn't start out the way you imagined, even missteps can be the first movements towards a brighter future"

a while back someone said that the brush splattering effect i did in the spooky tree one could be real good for a rain effect...

while drawing this i wasn't sure if i wanted "snow" and the outfit took some twists and turns, but i think it turned out nicely.

"happy mistakes"

but i should probably try to sleep before midnight again...

March 12 2019

i kept on going like "i know that if i set up a schedule for myself it will help a lot with the 'i end up being completely useless day-in day-out' deal" but then i end up... not doing it...

very disappointed in myself today.

hopefully.... tomorrow can be better

i need to cut away the things that i absolutely don't need at all and restart myself in a better way.

March 13 2019

today was... alright

the piano got tuned, i cleared up the backyard and garden stuff in the front yard... got baba is you and had a good time with that.

though... it's "a day of feeling accomplished for small things even though i didn't address the main issues"

i did not do anything with a schedule, so my academic work got neglected.

March 14 2019

(even though she's wearing black, i hope you can tell apart the contour of her arm and her upper body and torso)

a slow day of nothing meaningful happening (again). baba is you... and time management is empty?

tomorrow is... going to have to be on the wire. at least I will sleep really early today... because I have to drive folks to the airport at 5 tomorrow