RE: I'll answer your questions
10-12-2014, 08:18 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-12-2014, 11:11 PM by goblin's.)
C.H.W.O.K.A star, You have entered into the sacred Question tryst! By entering this ancient bloodpact, you have gained access to the Spirit Hole.
Do not be afraid. Do not be afraid.
Do not be afraid. Do not be afraid.
- What is your favorite food?
All food is torture. None is pleasant.
- If you had a sledgehammer, what would you do?
Nothing would change if I had a large hammer. Nothing. To believe otherwise is to believe in lies.
- What do you like best about the custodial staff?
It gives you +1 to casting cleaning spells.
- A runaway train is coming down the track. It is headed towards five people who are tied to the track. You realize that you can save the five by throwing a switch and diverting the train down another track, but there is one other person tied to that track! Do you flip the switch?
I flip it fervently, over and over. Whichever direction the track is going when the train comes is entirely random, freeing me of all moral responsibility. To further wash myself of ethical burden, I kill the restrained person(s) that didn't get run over the train afterwards so that fair is made fair.
- What would your dream date be?
goblin
- What would your nightmare date be?
not goblin
- What is the answer to this question?
This is the answer.
- In what ways did development of transportation bring about economic and social change in the United States in the period 1820 to 1860?
In all the ways you'd expect. Easy question.
- What is twice the half of 1 and 3/7ths?
1 and 3/7ths
- If you had to pick any United States President to look like, which one would you pick?
There has never been a president handsome enough. There has never been a president beautiful enough. Where is she. Where.
- If you were ice cream, what flavor would it be, and how quickly would you melt at room temperature?
Salt flavor, liquid at any temperature
- If an rocket weighing 500 kg is sliding across a frozen lake with a thrust force of 10,000 Newtons, and the coefficient of friction of the ice is 0.1, what is the rocket's acceleration?
This is a trick question, there's no such thing as a frozen lake.
- Did you know that over 10,000 Zamboni machines have been delivered around the world?
Yeah.
- What amazes you?
Bright lights, new sounds. The phenomena of radio broadcasting.
- How many verses does The Star-Spangled Banner have?
None
- How are you going to handle David Letterman?
With gloved hands and safety goggles on.
- Who would win in a fight: Batman or music?
"Lose" yourself to dance. No contest. Batman wins.
- Spell "stromuhr."
That's not a question.
- What's your favorite type of chair?
Rocking.
- Karl Marx once said, "Let the ruling classes tremble at a communist revolution. The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win. Workingmen of all countries, unite!" What do you think?
I think Marx's subtle humor was never appreciated in his time. But now, it's very clear it's hilarious satire. Laugh with me! Laugh! Hyee! Hyee! Hyee!
- If you were a woodchuck, how much wood would you chuck?
Between 1 to 2 logs, depending on time of day and relative humidity.
- Which member of One Direction do you know the least about?
All of him.
- A warden tells his 100 prisoners that he will let them go free if they can fulfill his conditions. In an empty room the warden has set up, there are two switches that are not hooked up to anything. The warden will pick a prisoner at random, even the same prisoner every time, and take them to the room, where they can flip one, both, or none of the switches, then leave. They will be accompanied by the warden, who will ensure they do not do anything in the room except interact with the switches and go back to their cell. Once in their cell, the prisoners are completely isolated from each other. To be set free, one of the prisoners must tell the warden that all 100 prisoners have been through this room. If he is wrong, all the prisoners will be executed. The prisoners have one chance to conspire before any of them have been through the room. How long until the warden is fired?
He's already been fired. The whole building is on fire. You must run. You must get far away from here. The flame licks your heels. Can you feel the heat? It's here. It's time.
- Writer's notes are from the writer. Editor's notes are from the editor. Who writes the Reader's notes?
Someone who can read, therefor a reader.
- You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door. There is a small mailbox here. What do you do?
Call the police. "hello police? I'm here"
- How do you measure success?
Spoonfuls.
- We've talked a lot about Southern hospitality tonight, but what do you have to say about it?
Very little.
- What is Oregon's state bird?
A crude drawing of a goose.
- When did you first realize you were beautiful?
Just now, thank you.
- Do you think we should repeal the 18th amendment?
Repeal every amendment.
- Why doesn't Cinderella's glass slipper change back to a regular shoe at midnight?
Why can't a glass slipper be a regular shoe? That's kinda ignorant.
- Who is the Vice President of the United States of America?
Joseph Gordon Biden
- Is it good?
Yeah, come here.
- What did the wall say to the other wall?
Nothing. The walls have ears, not mouths.
- If you won tonight, how would you tear down the patriarchy?
Mandatory education of all people. Teach them not to be so stupid, not so cruel. Tear down the male ego. Tear down tradition. Teach empathy.
- Are you jealous that contestant number 6 is so much better than you?
No, but I am deeply envious. Green.
- What is your first-date policy?
Always be 5-6 hours late.
- What will you give the orphans?
Skin creme. If you can't have parents, at least you can have moist skin.
- Would you rather own a cat-sized dog or a dog-sized cat?
The concept of ownership is vile. A dog-sized cat. But the dog the cat is sized as is the same size as a normal cat. so a cat-sized dog-sized cat. Or. A cat.
- Where is the bathroom? ¿Dónde está el baño?
Here! Aquí!
- In English, what is the Future Perfect Progressive tense?
You will have to wait to find out.