Shank A Bitch 3 Day Six: The Handsman Cometh (10/71 Alive)

shank oz

because screw zombies, amirite

Who Needs Packages When You Can Have Great Deals

OztheWizard - 10 (Granolaman, amosmyn, Palamedes, SupahKiven, Phish, Not The Author, Truegreen, Sai, Coldblooded, LegendaryQ)
Granolaman - 1 (Truegreen)
Not The Author - 1 (Seedy)

Abstaining - 7 (Schazer, Akumu, OztheWizard, TehPilot, Sanzh, Ixcaliber, Sruixan, Acionyx)

With 19 players alive, it takes 10 votes to groupshank. The groupshank will be delayed until the WHALE AWARDS have occurred even if a majority is reached.

Day deadline is in 72 hours or at 4:00 PM EST on Friday, September 19th.

Package #1

Granolaman - 1 (Granolaman)

Package #2

Granolaman - 1 (Truegreen)

Shopping List

In Cart

Seedy - China Pug Garden Ornament
Truegreen - Repellant Soft Frog, 70 Metallic X's
amosmyn - Real Artificial Lawn (5 square meters)
SupahKiven - Portable Toilet
Coldblooded - Galvanized Steel Trash Can
Not The Author - Sanitary Materials
Sai - Mirror, Builder's Wear
Palamedes - Unti-Slip Mat, A Goldfish Bowl, Jumpin' Jack Bag, Pekingese Lawn Ornament
TehPilot - Portable Power Supply
Schazer - Portable Power Supply, Motor Screw Driver, Shovel, Kotatsu Leg Step

Palamedes attempts to cram more than one Dog Lawn Ornament into his shopping cart, but it seems he's full up!

Schazer's also barely managed to pack all her choice item choices for transport.

We're still allowed to talk right?

If so I want 6 kg of Fertilizer, a Food Packer, a Humidity Control Agent (large), and the Derpy Pumpkin Terracino

I continue to want the Vegetable Growing Kit, but given granola's sudden and similar interest I should like to pick up a Plant Tag as well, just to make my efforts sufficiently distinct.

Fuck it, give me all of the Portable Toilets that can fit in my cart.

Package #1

Granolaman - 1 (Granolaman)

Package #2

Granolaman - 1 (Truegreen)

Shopping List

In Cart

Seedy - China Pug Garden Ornament
Truegreen - Repellant Soft Frog, 70 Metallic X's
amosmyn - Real Artificial Lawn (5 square meters)
SupahKiven - FOUR Portable Toilets
Coldblooded - Galvanized Steel Trash Can
Not The Author - Sanitary Materials
Sai - Mirror, Builder's Wear
Palamedes - Unti-Slip Mat, A Goldfish Bowl, Jumpin' Jack Bag, Pekingese Lawn Ornament
TehPilot - Portable Power Supply
Schazer - Portable Power Supply, Motor Screw Driver, Shovel, Kotatsu Leg Step
Granolaman - 6kg of Fertilizer, Food Packer, Humidity Control Agent (large),
Sruixan - Vegetable Growing Kit, Plant Tag

Ah, I still need some Sanitary Materials, a UES, and some Tableware This should be perfect. If I use the table in the Seahorse room...yes...

I would like to purchase a Compressing Bag, a Turtle-Shaped Doorknob, and an Ampersand, please.

Hrn.

How'n we-all 'spected t'pay f'this? Th' trip in't 'splicitly all-'spenses paid, 'n I don' quite 'spect th' myst'ry store a'myst'ry t'cept ac'chul cash...

We pay for it with the blood of one of our 'compatriots'. And a zombie.

I actually earn a paycheck from this place, so I'm covered.

I just assumed there's a prize pool for winning the Whale Duel so I'm buying everything on credit.

Besides you've been trying to die for ages. Isn't this the best time to charge out all your credit cards and borrow large sums of money from your friends?

Yeah, buying stuff might have consequences.
Then again... NOT buying stuff might too

Well either half the remaining playerbase is shut down for not paying their bills, or we shank the staff and all make off with our swag.

I will not stand for killing the Handsman staff



These are good, honest people, unlike us murdermonsters, and they deserve as much courtesy and respect as they offer us in turn!

No one said anything about murder. If Sai and I are any indication the collective shanking prowess of the game is pretty limp-wristed at this point.

If I could get another 20 m^2 of that real artificial lawn thatd be grand.
Also some repellant soft frog.

Considering I am, in fact, a loan shark by trade I think I'll have no difficulty purchasing these lovely products.

Mirdini, i would like to read the label on the Repellant Soft Frog. Does it have any key ingredients?

Show Content

Spoiler

It's...ALIIIIVE! QUICK STAB IT!

Shank: OZ

Elect: Granola for both packages


Purchase: A shovel, a wheeled trashcan, a dozen green toilet mats, three dozen ceramic corgi lawn ornaments, 20 pounds of tassels and an assortment of N's, O's, R's, A's T's and P's

...

...gee, where is everybody? It's all gone rather silent now that the buzz from our shopping escapades has died down. In fact, you could say that it's...

...

...dead quiet.



DAYSHANK: Sanzh

(I am totes not too late I swear)

Hey Sruixan, does whale lord supreme come with a church?

Tri-Shank

*Krshhh*

Age... ...72... ----terference clea---.... *krshhh* .... freq---- ....eath conf.... aring Trout protocol---

*Krshhh*


Sruixan steps up to the plate, raring to go after yesterday's soggy disappointment.

Sanzh isn't having any of it.



*Krshhh*

T-30 Se---

*Krshhh*


But Sruixan can't stop WON'T STOP

and in a daring plunge off the second-floor balcony plunges his shank straight past Sanzh's dinky little sign to retake his throne as DAYSHANK CHAMPION.

Sanzh was a Regular Shanker.

The rest of the (loaded up on HANDSMAN goods) crowd wonders why they can't get in on the action like that, before realizing they can.

OztheWizard is promptly mobbed and dismembered.

OztheWizard was a ZOMBIE SHANKER.

*Krshhh*

5

4

3

2

1

Drop

Two days after his untimely death, x1372's transponder had finally gotten a signal through. With his death and the whale press conference's completion, there was nothing left to stop ORBITAL SHANK DROP CODENAME: TROUT.

Much to x1372's ghostly dismay, the coordinates he'd entered two days earlier were by this point somewhat off the mark. Still on the mark enough to catch out one unlucky shanker who didn't have the sense to get out of the way, though.


Mockup of dead Sai - in actuality the shank drop obliterated the corpse.

Sai was a Regular Shanker.

With three more shankers dead, there wasn't much to do but wait on the WHALE AWARD CEREMONY to finally get underway. While Oz's corpse had been as bloodless as ever, everyone was too eager to check out their HANDSMAN purchases to consider another groupshank for the day.

It is now TWILIGHT. Groupshanking is suspended. You can still talk in-thread.

You can still shop at HANDSMAN if you have purchased less than four items.

You can still vote to elect someone for either (or both) PACKAGES. (With 16 players alive it takes a plurality to elect a package-receiver).

You may plan/submit your tentative night actions in your Quicktopic.

Twilight will end... SOON.