Shank A Bitch 3 Day Six: The Handsman Cometh (10/71 Alive)

Still not responsible for the random acts of shanking, honest. Now, the wholly non-random acts of shanking, on the other hand...

also I totally didn't mean to hold things up for that long; I forgot that "Who's Online" shows activity from the past quarter of an hour and so I thought Dini was about... sorry peeps...

Well if the alphabet lynch isn't panning out, I guess we might as well just let Granola suffer for a little while longer.

Red seems almost as eager for her own death anyway.

Shank Red

I can't believe you killed Officer Betsy. Now who am I going to roleplay as?

On the other hand:

I'm sad ix got over it I wanted to tell him about how the season two clip show episode was going to be a musical from the duke's perspective

this sounds like the most perfect thing i can imagine and now it will never happen. i am so mad.

With 57 players alive, it takes 29 votes to groupshank a bitch.

...okie dokie, then, looks like the midnight run of the Sibilance Express is gonna make a detour round Fogeltown and plough straight on to Redsville...

Groupshank: Red

Fogel is still mean mugging me


You see that shit?

Rude.

But I suppose we can let him whalefight a bit longer
It is, at the very least, entertaining

Red shank is fine

I guess

But sooooo boring

SHANK ACIONYX

Acio srsly I work with someone named Lou Sachs and everytime I see something signed LSachs it freaks me out

first seedy shanks ix metaphorically via the power of duke the musical and then someone (else presumably) just shanks ix randomly? and just when he got over the loss of his animated entertainment... gosh,

Fogel was still my pick for groupshank, but I lazily am trying eviscerating Red.

I guess there's nothing left to do but SHANK: Red

Groupshank: Red

Shank: groupRed

There are too many votes for red. So I shall shank the concept of the votes themselves

[edited for formatting]

Cybershanking Will End Once A Group Shank Has Been Decided

Red709 - 16 (Solaris, Dragon Fogel, Pharmacy, cyber95, Palamedes, makerofthegames, Red709, x1372, Garuru, Akumu, amosmyn, Coldblooded, Sruixan, speedchuck, SupahKiven, Schazer)
Granolaman - 7 (Acionyx, BlazerC, beruru, Everanix, Phish, Sai, Truegreen)
Ixcaliber - 6 (Loather, bigro, Crowstone, Ixcaliber, anacreon, konec0)
Garuru - 3 (Mister Visceral, Seedy, Dalmationer)
makerofthegames - 2 (druplesnubb, Granolaman)
amosmyn - 2 (Demonsul, Niall)
Dragon Fogel - 2 (Sanzh, Sotek)
Deviant One - 2 (AgentBlue, Pick Yer Poison)
Schazer - 1 (Gnauga)
Akumu - 1 (Pharas)
"Anomaly" - 1 (Chwoka)
druplesnubb - 1 (Not The Author)
Phish - 1 (Fragowump)
"disney xd" - 1 (Ixcaliber)
Schazer - 1 (Plaid)
bigro - 1 (antisequitur)
antisequitur - 1 (yd12k)
AgentBlue - 1 (Deviant One)
Not the Author - 1 (Breadpocalypse)
Acionyx - 1 (Scoffles)
"groupRed" - 1 (ICan'tGiveCredit)

Abstaining - 5 (Prime Intellect, Mikeee, TehPilot, Garuru, Whimbrel)

With 57 players alive, it takes 29 votes to groupshank a bitch.

Day ends at 12:00 AM EST on Sunday, July 20, or in ~4 hours!

shank: granolaman i will help you die, honey

Groupshank: Red709

shank red

Why are we groupshanking Red wait I don't need a valid reason.

sure you do pilot. Here, use this one:

Red is the longest wavelength.

That means Red is also from LONG ISLAND AND LONG ISLAND IS BAD THEREFORE RED IS BAD

SHANK THE RED

Groupshank: Red709

HE DOES EXIST


YES, VIRGINIA, THERE IS A PRIME

Ah fuck it bandwagon ahoy! To a shorter day!

Shank: Red709

shank:red

Down To The Garrotte

Red709 - 22 (Solaris, Dragon Fogel, Pharmacy, cyber95, Palamedes, makerofthegames, Red709, x1372, Garuru, Akumu, amosmyn, Coldblooded, Sruixan, speedchuck, SupahKiven, Schazer, Prime Intellect, Phish, TehPilot, ICan'tGiveCredit, Demonsul, anacreon)
Granolaman - 7 (Acionyx, BlazerC, beruru, Everanix, Sai, Truegreen, Crowstone)
Ixcaliber - 4 (Loather, bigro, Ixcaliber, konec0)
Garuru - 3 (Mister Visceral, Seedy, Dalmationer)
makerofthegames - 2 (druplesnubb, Granolaman)
Dragon Fogel - 2 (Sanzh, Sotek)
Deviant One - 2 (AgentBlue, Pick Yer Poison)
Schazer - 1 (Gnauga)
Akumu - 1 (Pharas)
amosmyn - 1 (Niall)
"Anomaly" - 1 (Chwoka)
druplesnubb - 1 (Not The Author)
Phish - 1 (Fragowump)
"disney xd" - 1 (Ixcaliber)
Schazer - 1 (Plaid)
bigro - 1 (antisequitur)
antisequitur - 1 (yd12k)
AgentBlue - 1 (Deviant One)
Not the Author - 1 (Breadpocalypse)
Acionyx - 1 (Scoffles)

Abstaining - 2 (Mikeee, Whimbrel)

With 57 players alive, it takes 29 votes to groupshank a bitch.

Day ends at 12:00 AM EST on Sunday, July 20, or in ~half an hour!

Shank red

Be on the winning team B)

Day's over, NO GROUPSHANK, tune in in some number of hours for results from the CYBERZONE.

NIGHT TWO: GAME OVER, BITCHES

SHANKS SUBMITTED...

EXECUTING USERS IN SHANK ORDER...
USER PALAMEDES: 4 SHANKS - DEMONSUL, ICAN'TGIVECREDIT, YD12K, CROWSTONE
USER GRANOLAMAN: 4 SHANKS - WHIMBREL, RED709, AGENTBLUE, TEHPILOT
USER TEHPILOT: 3 SHANKS - GRANOLAMAN, ANACREON, MAKEROFTHEGAMES
USER PHARMACY: 3 SHANKS - DRAGON FOGEL, AMOSMYN, SPEEDCHUCK
USER SCHAZER: 3 SHANKS - PICK YER POISON, ANTISEQUITUR, FIVEX

OPEN ATTACHMENT FOR ADDITIONAL SHANKS

SpoilerShow

USER SOLARIS: 2 SHANKS - DALMATIONER, CYBER95
USER AGENTBLUE: 2 SHANKS - DEVIANT ONE, KONEC0
USER GARURU: 2 SHANKS - AKUMU, TRUEGREEN
USER DRAGON FOGEL: 2 SHANKS - PHARMACY, MISTER VISCERAL
USER RED709: 2 SHANKS - GNAUGA, SANZH
USER SOTEK: 2 SHANKS - PHARAS, BERURU
USER DEVIANT ONE: 2 SHANKS - SAI, NIALL
USER ICAN'TGIVECREDIT: 1 SHANK - SUPAHKIVEN
USER AKUMU: 1 SHANK - GARURU
USER SEEDY: 1 SHANK - SCOFFLES
USER CROWSTONE: 1 SHANK - PALAMEDES
USER CYBER95: 1 SHANK - SOLARIS
USER MOTG: 1 SHANK - DRUPLESNUBB
USER BIGRO: 1 SHANK - PLAID
USER DRUPLESNUBB: 1 SHANK - MIKEEE
USER KONEC0: 1 SHANK - IXCALIBER
USER PRIME INTELLECT: 1 SHANK - COLDBLOODED
USER GNAUGA: 1 SHANK - PHISH
USER PICK YER POISON: 1 SHANK - BREADPOCALYPSE
USER FRAGOWUMP: 1 SHANK - X1372
USER IXCALIBER: 1 SHANK - LOATHER
USER CHWOKA: 1 SHANK - EVERANIX
USER ANTISEQUITUR: 1 SHANK - SRUIXAN
USER SRUIXAN: 1 SHANK - NOT THE AUTHOR
USER X1372: 1 SHANK - PRIME INTELLECT
USER BERURU: 1 SHANK - SOTEK
USER SCOFFLES: 1 SHANK - SEEDY
USER BLAZERC: 1 SHANK - ACIONYX
USER MIKEEE: 1 SHANK - BLAZERC
USER TRUEGREEN: 1 SHANK - SCHAZER
USER EVERANIX: 1 SHANK - FRAGOWUMP

INVALID TARGET: 2 SHANKS - CHWOKA, BIGRO

Congratulations to all our VIRTUAL SHANK PARTICIPANTS! As per the stipulations of Chirality's will that I've betra- uhhh INTERPRETED, those of you who managed NOT to get shanked will have a chance at an INCREDIBLE INHERITANCE! Which will be brought to you by robo-room service when you've returned to your rooms.

Which you should do now, because you were all COWARDS and didn't even decide on anyone's death today! For shame, bitches. For shame.

------------

Night Two has begun! Deadline for actions is in 48 hours or at 8:00 PM EST on Tuesday, July 22nd!

Day Three: Riptime Bechop Jazz

Bitches wake up in the morning to the sound of some ♪_alluring jazz_♪ floating up from the hotel bar. Without quite knowing why they all head down towards the source of the music. Once the height of Tropicana kitsch, some overnight renovations have transformed it into something far more suited to relaxed group shanking over cocktails.

A jazz quartet performs on the stage, but it’s not a quartet of equals; without a doubt the star of the show is speedchuck, going to town with his sweet jazz trombone.

He’s certainly set the tone for the day, and as you all sit back sipping on martinis and whatever other drinks you bitches have selected you come to the unanimous conclusion that speedchuck is off-limits for any sort of shankery while he’s tootin’ that incredible horn. The Robo-servers swing by with snack menus, helpfully packaged with a mealtime update on what bitches were unfortunate enough to get shanked in the night.

Shanking Meal Guide:
Tickled: 1 Shank or Less
Lightly Stabbed: 2 Shanks
Well Ventilated: 3 Shanks

Tickled ICan’tGiveCredit with a side of REGULAR SHANKER


Lightly Stabbed Garuru with a side of ARMS DEALER (VEST-PIERCING SHANKER)


Well Ventilated Mister Visceral with a side of REGULAR SHANKER (MESSY)


Tickled Red709 with a side of SHENANIGANS SHANKER


Tickled druplesnubb with a side of REGULAR SHANKER


Lightly Stabbed Fivex with a side of REGULAR SHANKER (MESSY)


Bitches have read about halfway down the menu when three mysterious figures enter the bar.

Chocolate Pi, Stiqqery and LegendaryQ have RETURNED FROM THE GRAVE.

Was it the jazz? The fluoride in the pool water? What was causing this necromancy?

Wait, it’s right there on the next menu item.

Tickled Pick Yer Poison with a side of VOODOO WIZARD

VOODOO WIZARD: In addition to regular shanker powers, each night a voodoo wizard can RAISE ONE ZOMBIE MINION from any Regular Shanker’s corpse. That Regular Shanker will return as a ZOMBIE with one charge of ZOMBIE STRENGTH (protection from one shank). The ZOMBIE cannot harm its master. The VOODOO WIZARD wins by being the last bitch standing (excepting zombies they raised).


Well Ventilated Sotek with a side of QUACK SHANK PRINCESS

QUACK Princess of Shanks: Convinced of her importance, the Princess of Shanks thinks that her death will invite vengeance from her royal family that would force the day of her death to be skipped. Turns out she’s actually just a REGULAR SHANKER.


Lightly Stabbed Fragowump with a side of ESCAPE ARTIST

ESCAPE ARTIST: In addition to regular shanker powers, the first time an ESCAPE ARTIST would otherwise die they will LEAP OUT THE NEAREST WINDOW instead, becoming immune to any and all kills directed at them for that day or night.


Lightly Stabbed BlazerC with a side of SHAMELESS SHANKER

SHAMELESS SHANKER: A shameless shanker can publicly DAYSHANK another player each day. Should they successfully kill their target, they would gain an additional LIZZARD INC. SHANKPROOF VEST and the ability to shank another player during the following night. If they fail to kill their target or do not dayshank they cannot nightshank.


Tickled Everanix with a side of REGULAR SHANKER

Having finished reading down the menu, the bitches ready themselves for a day of smooth jazz and not-so-smooth shanking decisions. The Jazz Quartet seems to have other ideas, pausing in respectful silence as the Announcer pops in to take the microphone for a moment.

“Hi! I won’t be bothering you for long today, but there’s still one of you unaccounted for, and I think he does deserve special mention. If only for the idiotic tragedy of his demise!

Ixcaliber was a REGULAR SHANKER.
He was also - entirely by his own volition - DETECTIVE CARL GARLAND, RIKOLLISRHYMÄ NEMESIS.

He would have won either by being the LAST MAN STANDING or by FINDING THE RIKOLLISRHYMÄ KINGPIN.

Poor detective got shanked three times! And only once by his own hand! Seems he just lost the will to live!”

The Announcer shrugs and walks off, and Speedchuck’s quartet lift their instruments to continue playing over a volatile mixture of bitches, shanks and drinks in what is now Vista Paolo’s classiest bar.

♪_Certainly a winning combination._♪

DISTANT WHALE NOISES

Livelist

1. Schazer
2. Solaris
3. Sai
4. Not The Author
5. Akumu
6. AgentBlue
7. Seedy
8. Crowstone
9. SupahKiven
10. Palamedes
11. Pharmacy
12. Granolaman
13. Coldblooded
14. TehPilot
15. anacreon
16. cyber95
17. Niall
18. makerofthegames
19. bigro
20. Stiqqery
21. amosmyn
22. Deviant One
23. Sanzh
24. Pharas
25. Phish
26. konec0
27. Prime Intellect
28. yd12k
29. Dragon Fogel
30. Gnauga
31. Whimbrel
32. LegendaryQ
33. Chwoka
34. Antisequitur
35. Dalmationer
36. Sruixan
37. x1372
38. Breadpocalypse
39. beruru
40. Scoffles
41. Acionyx
42. Plaid
43. speedchuck
44. Mikeee
45. Truegreen
46. Loather
47. Demonsul
48. Chocolate Pi

With 48 bitches alive it takes 25 bitches to groupshank a bitch. Day Three ends in 120 hours at 6:00 PM EST on Friday, August 1st.