Shank A Bitch 3 Day Six: The Handsman Cometh (10/71 Alive)

COLDBLOODED I'M GLAD YOU ASKED WHICH IS TO SAY I'M NOT HOW DARE YOU ASK FROM YOUR DEITIES I AM ASKING FOR BLIND LOYALTY HERE NOT FOR PITIFUL MOOCHERS

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS I AM A GODDESS AND ALSO I AM POWERFUL AND ALSO I GUARANTEE SALVATION TO MY LOYAL FOLLOWERS

MALKYTOP IS TOO CUTE TO SHANK HOW DARE YOU.

THANK YOU DALMATIONER YOU ARE ON THE LIST

Detective Carl Garland opted to turn a blind ear to all this talk of shanking, or however that expression goes. So long as he got what he wanted he couldn't care less what a group of knife-crazed foreigners did to one another in the privacy of their own hotel resort, but that live and let live attitude was conditional on him getting what he wanted, and it was clear that the Rikollisryhmä weren't about to just turn themselves in. He was going to have to do a little detective work.

Whilst the group had no real leader, the one who seemed to be making the most noise was a woman repeatedly referred to as Malky. She was claiming divinity, shouting and angrily wheeling upon whoever disagreed with her most recently with a bread knife in her hands. Detective Garland knew he probably wasn't going to get much of any coherence from the woman but he had to start somewhere.

"Excuse me ma'am." She wheeled towards the detective, bread knife at the ready. "Woah watch out there you'll have somebody's eye out with that thing." Detective Garland took a step back. "I was just wondering, ma'am, if you'd seen anyone acting suspicious." It was a stupid question to ask, he knew that as soon as it left his lips but he was committed now. He smiled widely as if this was his intention. "Anyone who you suspect might have ties to international organized crime I mean."

Here Lies Brazil, Shanked Seven Times

TehPilot - 6 (makerofthegames, Plaid, SeaWyrm, speedchuck, Gnauga, Palamedes)
MalkyTop - 6 (Acionyx, Breadpocalypse, ICan'tGiveCredit, Garuru, druplesnubb, Scoffles)
"Mirdini" - 2 (Dragon Fogel, konec0)
Akumu - 2 (Coldblooded, cyber95)
Dragon Fogel - 2 (Pharmacy, Granolaman)
Garuru - 2 (Crowstone, amosmyn)
Acionyx - 1 (OztheWizard)
Coldblooded - 1 (Akumu)
Beruru - 1 (Sotek)
Niall - 1 (Everanix)
Solaris - 1 (Pick Yer Poison)
Seedy - 1 (TehPilot)
Palamedes - 1 (Solaris)
Schazer - 1 (Kíeros)
Kíeros - 1 (Pharas)
"Dratini" - 1 (Cat)
Niall - 1 (wooperbiddles)
"spadechuck" - 1 (Mister Visceral)
konec0 - 1 (Dalmationer)
Sruixan - 1 (Rivenforge)
"Capitalism" - 1 (Loather)
Chirality - 1 (Red709)
druplesnubb - 1 (MalkyTop)

Abstaining - 34 (Schazer, Sai, NottheAuthor, AgentBlue, Seedy, Donut, SupahKiven, anacreon, Niall, bigro, Stiqqery, Eidolonic, Airey, Deviant One, Sanzh, Phish, fivex, Prime Intellect, Chirality, yd12k, Whimbrel, Fragowump, Ixcaliber, LegendaryQ, Chwoka, antisequitur, Sruixan, x1372, beruru, BlazerC, Mikeee, Truegreen, Demonsul, Chocolate Pi)

With 71 players alive, it takes 36 votes to groupshank a bitch, 17 votes if the day ends without a groupshank!

Day ends at 1:00 PM EST on Friday, July 11, or in 68 hours!

Yes hello I'd like to shank THE OWNER OF THIS RESORT

Oh, salvation, is that all? No thanks, I'm good.

Thank you for your time anyway though, ma'am.

I will only support Malky if she gave me immortality and a martini.

Or a whale. But it better be a good one.

ARE YOU QUESTIONING ME DO NOT QUESTION ME

NOBODY'S GETTING ANY DAMN IMMORTALITY YOU AREN'T WORTHY ALTHOUGH YOU COULD PROBABLY GET A MARTINI YOURSELF AT THE BAR

SHANK: PHARMACY

[*]She likes bugs. Seriously, who likes bugs? Scum.

I think I found someone worth killing

Vote: Kieros

Also, not to toot my own blowhole, but I could totally challenge someone to a cetacean-themed slam.

The fact you have taken notice to my petty demands to establish superiority is a immutable fact is frankly petty. I am frankly a little disappointed in your so-called divinity.

HOW DO I VOTE PHARMACY HARDER

I'm with Pharms on this one. If you're not at least getting free booze and immortalities from your gods/goddesses, then what's even the point?

Lynch MalkyTop

By the way, if there's any other gods out there giving away free booze/immortality to their subjects, hook me up please.

Some Final Pre-Sleep Shank Totals

MalkyTop - 7 (Acionyx, Breadpocalypse, ICan'tGiveCredit, Garuru, druplesnubb, Scoffles, Coldblooded)
TehPilot - 6 (makerofthegames, Plaid, SeaWyrm, speedchuck, Gnauga, Palamedes)
"Mirdini" - 2 (Dragon Fogel, konec0)
Dragon Fogel - 2 (Pharmacy, Granolaman)
Garuru - 2 (Crowstone, amosmyn)
Kíeros - 2 (Pharas, Schazer)
Akumu - 1 (cyber95)
Acionyx - 1 (OztheWizard)
Coldblooded - 1 (Akumu)
Beruru - 1 (Sotek)
Niall - 1 (Everanix)
Solaris - 1 (Pick Yer Poison)
Seedy - 1 (TehPilot)
Palamedes - 1 (Solaris)
Schazer - 1 (Kíeros)
"Dratini" - 1 (Cat)
Niall - 1 (wooperbiddles)
"spadechuck" - 1 (Mister Visceral)
konec0 - 1 (Dalmationer)
Sruixan - 1 (Rivenforge)
"Capitalism" - 1 (Loather)
Chirality - 1 (Red709)
"THE OWNER OF THIS RESORT" - 1 (Whimbrel)
Pharmacy - 1 (MalkyTop)

Abstaining - 33 (Schazer, Sai, NottheAuthor, AgentBlue, Seedy, Donut, SupahKiven, anacreon, Niall, bigro, Stiqqery, Eidolonic, Airey, Deviant One, Sanzh, Phish, fivex, Prime Intellect, Chirality, yd12k, Fragowump, Ixcaliber, LegendaryQ, Chwoka, antisequitur, Sruixan, x1372, beruru, BlazerC, Mikeee, Truegreen, Demonsul, Chocolate Pi)

With 71 players alive, it takes 36 votes to groupshank a bitch, 17 votes if the day ends without a groupshank!

Day ends at 1:00 PM EST on Friday, July 11, or in 68 hours!

Coldblooded, let's form an union and organize a strike at the gates of heaven.

On some reflection, I think everyone has the right to shank at least once in their short lives.

No Lynch

Ooh he's going to sleep!

Quick everyone flip your votes to at least 5 different targets in rapid succession!

Vote: Amosmyn

Or, No Shank or whatever the right terminology would be.

Vote: Palamedes

Because fuck that guy, he plays states games

I'm offering nightmares and eternal winter who wants to worship me?

I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE

SHANK: WHIMBREL

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

CAN'T YOU SEE AMOS

IT'S ALL GOING UP IN FLAMES

THESE

THESE ARE YOUR DONATIONS

THEY SHALL FUEL THE FIRES OF CORPORATE INDUSTRY

AND HEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH SSSSSSUUUUUUUFFFFFEEEEEEERRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG