E-gallow Time

In which I compose some kind of obituary for those summarily executed or exiled for crimes against my State.

The main crime is not being a people, and is punishable by being unpersoned, as has happened to:

Five users who clearly did not possess foreheads on which they could staple notes with their email passwords written on them - as a direct result of this design flaw, they failed to get their accounts activated before I noticed they all shared a taste in piss-poor usernames and IP addresses. I can't actually remember who they are, but you hopefully won't miss 'em too much.

AbbortStafford has meanwhile been struck through with a, uh, strikethrough, after peddling penis enhancements from their signature. This would not stand, so they now exist as a warning to other cock-extension clerks, prehensile prick-pawners, and nefarious manhood merchants.

(Also because having a banned user lets Pines mess around with how to dress it up nice when it's sitting around in the Memberlist and suchlike.)

This concludes the day's usernukings; Eagle Time Forums wish you a pleasant day!

AllMedia, Colangelo83E3, CutchallA557, Denes4735, DeteringED2D, HorikoshiAED0, nature12smiles, and soyfleebak have all been blasted out of orbit.

While drifting through the cold uncaring void of space, they can thank VorisF7C4 and his scandalous grayscales I noticed in the memberlist for alerting me to the spambot menace.

E: hospitaloh has joined the Uplifted - a timely reminder to all users that if you insist on peddling assorted e-wares from signatures please keep them in line with forum rules!

This concludes the day's usernukings; Eagle Time Forums wish you a pleasant day!

ConsuegraB942, Hagelgans52BE, Tator0EC7, Wittmer8280, and WrightonFEE5 were all caught smoking round Coolemailer brand cigarettes round the back of the shed.

Peer pressure and smoking are bad for you, kids. It means I stick an axe in your webface.

BartrumC3EB, CiacciaA041, MingeD852, and Spene5B00 all cheated on their entrance exam, and earnt a blanket IP ban for their copious alt-popping horseshit.

The court provides evidence they cheated, as they were not smart enough to get the message that I do not like their similarly-formatted nonsensical usernames. Ergo, they obviously sought help trying to figure out what colour an orange was.

LisE109, Aritizabal8F17, and Shandro362 are the latest recipients of my spam-nuking wrath.

Schazer you will hurt their feelings

But she is queen of the antipodes

Why does she need to care about feelings

Memberlist? More like dismemberlist, wherein the latest additions are:

Bawden7C62, Braz269C, Dutkiewicz55A3, and Laremont672C.

Latest subtractions, you mean, right

I wonder of we could keep a spambot as a pet? Of course this would mean posting around their posts as to make it look like they are being relevant and even possibly insightful.

Like in a movie where the kids want a dog, but the parents won't let them have a dog, so they dress it up in a ghost sheet, say it's a neighbor kid here for a party, and take the blame whenever it poops on the floor.

Restrict them so they could only post in one thread and can't use BBcode? Could you do that?

PLEASE DO WHAT YOU CAN TO BUY ARICEPT. BUY DRUGS. BUY CHEAP. BUY THEM PLEASE. TAKE THEM OFF MY HANDS. SAMSCA IS GOING SOON. I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU OUT B/W DRUGS SO BAD.

HARVIIIIIIIIIIIIIX...

Oh my gosh I love him. He's so real!

It's almost like he's a kid in a sheet pretending to be a dog that the kids will hide and pretend is a kid.

Eagle Time Forums wish you a pleasant day! Attached are the day's usernukings:

grovermazzuca44, atherton555, and mahfujabb were spotted on a random profile strip search storing contraband links to shoddy wares in their signatures, and have been summarily ejected from the community.

robin935 and brian498 were found to be guilty of being sixty years old when I perused their suspiciously similar profiles, and have been similarly escorted off the premises.

Thank you for choosing Eagle Time Forums for your worries and extraneous users-free experience.