Oh God Why: Day Three: IT'S LOOOOOOSE (18/30)

Well

Between the votefuckery and the thus-far-nonlethal daykill

I just don't know what to say

Besides throw: Granolaman to the detective-wolves

granola:

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Spoiler#568 - threats to pilfer poor orphaned hounds
#572 - again, disregard for murderdog ownership laws
#573 - "I am strictly nonviolent except when it comes to dogs" - remember this one
#578 - claims of non-existent outdoor space, threats to neuter despite no proof of necessary training experience or relevant qualifications, hollow promotion against the "Truth In Advertising" policy
#581 - asseverations concerning the absence of paperwork despite its absolute unwaverable necessity by law, 'less trees' rather than the grammatically correct 'fewer trees', imposition of a backwards bartering economy ripe for corruption
#587 - "No man could visit the Ranch and survive!"; also, insinuating the insanity of a fine and upstanding community member
#590 - distribution of misleading information, quite likely for personal gain
#594 - again, misleading and in this particular instance deliberately false information, intended to belittle aforementioned community treasure
#596 - repeated mistreatment and insult of community icon
#600 - disregard for the concerns of murderdog owners, awkwardly brushed aside
#604 - impersonating a charitable organisation
#608 - pictographic evidence detailing the MURDER of the community member with whom the previous interactions had taken place; note #573
#615 - the entirety of this frankly abominable missive
#618 - hostile language, foreboding and menacing, threat of illegal neutering, references to fake charity
#653 - numerous acts of violence and aggression, multiple illegal neuterings, kidnapping, sinister remarks: "You fools! No one can stop me from achieving my ImMurdertality! No one!"
#703 - possession of weapons of mass destruction, manslaughter (even if the victim was malevolent, and the deed potentially involuntary)
#707 - further threats of murder
#805 - backtracking, eating of words, panicking; all sure signs of admittance to wrongdoing

I really ought to go to bed.

Alternative evidence: I'm the most badass heroic town motherfucker you ever did see in this game, All-Stars was a fluke, the dozen other games were not

Am I dead yet?

Those are the actual vote totals.

?

That doesn't look right.
Vote: Beruru

Time to experiment with the Wheat-vote-shuffler.

Hmmm. Do I really want a dead guy to hold a vote on dolphins?

Vote: Surixian
Unvote
Vote: btp
Unvote
Vote: ABOMINATION
Unvote
Vote: Schazer

Unvote. Vote dolphins.

Pala you wouldn't happen to be allied with dolphins would you?

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Spoiler

Zero change, eh?

Unvote. Vote Schazer for experimental purposes.

I'm actually legitimately mildly offended that read as "Hey guys don't do this *wink wink*" rather than "Hey this was an obnoxious time in a game with a lot of obnoxiousness, don't be that guy, look where being hat guy gets you (it is me, woe betide)", but whatever I guess. The joke, she has failed.

Seriously though I'd like to see what's happening re: daykill before much else happens, where is that yaoi aficionado we call a GM

Well this is all very nice.

...

You know, if Para isn't going to knock Pilot off, we always could take matters into our own hands... except we've about six hours left. And almost half our votes are in the hands of the bartender's caprice, so it's probably not even worth bothering.

...

pfft this is a bloody shambles this is

Oh yeah I thought we're supposed to have an opportunity to resolve getting our wallets back? Where is it? Sruixan you also supposedly got a "prize"?

We should all check our quicktopics more.

*grunts*

*grnts*

f



Kill: ICan'tGiveCredit

*yawns loudly*

Kill: ICan'tGiveCredit

No. Only I can kill Credit.

I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL

winner gets credit's head.

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SpoilerI wish this was an actual action

Oh yeah well I play my Cock card

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Spoiler

This prevents both of you from making really shitty decisions like trying to kill me. Both of you, Garuru AND the abomination! Go have a cup 'a coffee

Maybe even my One-of-a-Kind, Dolphin-Burgers™ to go with it, with it's prime rib Dolphin sauce and any choice of bun, from whole-grain to Dolphin Gluten-free.

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SpoilerFor the record y'all Para's laptop power supply apparently melted down which might be why he's been completely AWOL with regards to modding this game. Hopefully he'll get it fixed soon, I haven't heard from him since the 14th when he briefly typed at me about that in skype presumably over some form of mobile device.

Guys, if you're going to duel over Credit, you can't just duel.

A mere duel? Pfft, we should accept nothing less than a full-hearted rap battle. Am prepared to offer coaching to the highest bidder.

OH GOD GET DOWN IT'S AN EVENT



Drakenmedes bursts through the floor and DEVOURS TEHPILOT

but wait wasn't he already in the room?

I GUESS HE SNUCK OUT WHILE YOU WEREN'T LOOKING BUT NOW IT'S TOO LATE AND TEHPILOT IS

D-E-A-D

it takes him like three days to bleed out because

HE HAS NO BLOOD!!!!!

But bleed out he does. Eventually.

TehPilot was SEBASTIAN, A STUFFED PENGUIN OF DUBIOUS ORIGINS. Enraged at his adorable, stuffed form he wanted nothing more than to cause MAXIMUM SHENANIGANS and also murder as many other people in this crazy world as possible. Good thing he found some friends to do it with!

As a POSSESSED STUFFED PENGUIN he had SPOOKY PENGUIN POWERS and would KILL the first and last person on his lynch wagon, as well as PUBLICLY REVEALING THE ROLE OF EVERYONE ON SAID WAGON.

He was part of a MAFIA FACTION.

The town sure is lucky they have a horrifying radioactive abomination looking out for them. Undeterred, they get back down to what's important: screwing around with that detective fellow.

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE

DRAKENMEDES TUNNELS BACK DOWN AND BACK UP AGAIN



It bursts through the floor (AGAIN) and MURDERS THE BAJEEZUS OUTTA ICAN'TGIVECREDIT

Credit dies IN A SPRAY OF ACTUAL BLOOD because he wasn't stuffed at all

ICan'tGiveCredit was the INEFFECTUAL TOWN GODFATHER.

He was the don of the mafia and had the whole of this town in the palm of his hand, and he'd be damned if he'd let it go. There was some other chump pretending to be the godfather of the mafia and he'd be damned if he'd let that guy get away with it. So each night he'd tell his BEST MAN to get out and try to kill the impostor. Shame that man didn't actually exist. Also a shame he never succeeded in his QUEST. Sometimes a don just can't catch a break.

Each night he could instruct his HIT MAN to kill someone. This would almost always do absolutely nothing as the hit man did not actually exist. He also wanted his RIVAL GODFATHER dead.

He was TOWN and would have won when all the threats to it had been eliminated.

well shit hope that's the end of the abominationing for the day

but WHO KNOWS IF IT IS