Oh God Why: Day Three: IT'S LOOOOOOSE (18/30)

Considering my dog is Emerald, and emerald ore is the rarest ore in Minecraft...

Yeah, good luck getting to my dog. I'll be waiting with a shotgun too, maybe a flamethrower.

In a bunker.

Surrounded by ice.

That is on fire.

Considering my dog is Emerald, and emerald ore is the rarest ore in Minecraft...

Yeah, good luck getting to my dog. I'll be waiting with a shotgun too, maybe a flamethrower.

In a bunker.

Surrounded by ice.

That is on fire.

Shouldn't you have put diesel on the ice first so that

1. THE ICE DOESN'T MELT (as fast)
2. He'll need a gas mask and it's already hard enough seeing through those things

No, no. The ice is on fire.

So it's cold but also on fire as well. Let your mind think that one through.

You may use whatever you have lying around to construct your defenses.

...

righty ho then I'm going to take the rubble from the wall we burst down to get in here (because it is indeed just lying around) and use it to construct a castle, fully crenellated, and Peridot will curl up in its keep. I shall stand guard myself, equipped with catapults and crossbows jury-rigged from lab apparatus (every weapon will have been thoroughly tested to ensure efficacy) and either very, very sharp projectiles (i.e. needles) or ones that are on fire. There will be a moat full of water and potentially hazardous chemicals that I've found, ahem, lying around, and if I can find any lasers in the lab then I am installing them on the keep's roof.

...you know what here have what I would call an "artist's impression" if I were actually an artist and not just a guy who occasionally abuses a pencil:



it has to be a bit on the small side because I imagine there's not that much salvageable rubble but what ho it's sort of more fun this way

come at me robots

pew pew

Yeah granola it's not happening. You can't have Maroon he/she/it is my murderdog and mine alone!

If you want a reason why it's because I say so and if you want to take it up with me at night BRING IT ON.

D: NOT MAH PUPPER. I'mma barricade this baby in the finest of high-security locations. Also, I think covering up the important bits is required.
BERURURURU, BREED YOUR PUPPER WITH MY PUPPER AND HAVE THEM MAKE CUTE PUPPERS.

Alternatively, vote: seedy for being a lil too seedy D:

put the lime in the coconut

and shake it up

Yes, exactly XD

EVENT

THE NEUTERBOTS HAVE ARRIVED. ARE YOU PREPARED?

I already gave my murderdog to slorange

The Neuterbots cannot find Yellow at his coordinates. Yellow is spared.

I inform the Neuterbots that my murderdog clearly does not exist, because seriously, who's ever heard of Ube as a color?

The Neuterbots obviously notice Ube, but shut down after trying to imagine a new color.

I make my defenses out of meat. You can't ruin my defenses becuz they are delicious.

Oh yeah I then turn my dog into a transgenic organism by inserting a gene from a robot (because why can't robots have beautiful robot babies) in my dog.


Just to clarify, my DOG IS NOW A GENETICALLY MODIFIED ORGANISM AND HAS "BALLS OF STEEL". IF THERE WAS A DOG-VERSION OF CHUCKNORRIS, THIS WOULD BE IT.

Quartz quickly consumes his own delicious fortifications. The Neuterbots approach and attempt to snip the Murderdog. Failure! However gene splicing has its downsides...

QUARTZ HAS BEEN HALF-NEUTERED

As a responsible pet owner I will do nothing.

The Neuterbots snip Teal quickly and with minimal difficulty. They tip their hats and go on their way.

TEAL HAS BEEN NEUTERED

I've got DWYANE "THE ROCK" JOHNSON and Van "Vas Deferens" Diesel

Dwyane is equipped with a rock and Van with a van.

The Neuterbots realize they are capable of fear as the manliest duo in existence DESTROY THE NEUTERBOT ARMY WITH THEIR BARE FISTS. Tragedy strikes though as one Neuterbot gets a lucky snip out during the fight.

DWAYNE "THE ROCK" JOHNSON HAS BEEN NEUTERED

It is a sad day for penises everywhere.

My defense is as follows:

• Neuter is the term used to remove male genitalia.
  
• My dog is female, and as such cannot be "neutered."
  
• Also, just to be sure, I've installed a large solid steel cup around my dog's genitalia.
  
• And my dog is a lapdog. I literally cannot get up right now.
  

The Neuterbots approach Q's lap, snipping in anticipation. A few cuts against the tough metal in the hard to reach region and the Neuterbots claim their prize, just not the one they came for...

LEGENDARYQ HAS BEEN NEUTERED

I'll just store away a suitable amount of genetic material in a freezer/bunker

The Neuterbots quickly neuter Goldenrod and leave without suspicion.

GOLDENROD HAS BEEN NEUTERED. GOLDENROD IS STILL IN THE GENE POOL

D: NOT MAH PUPPER. I'mma barricade this baby in the finest of high-security locations. Also, I think covering up the important bits is required.

You quickly search for anyplace to hide Honeydew. Unfortunately the best you can find is a pantry cupboard. Luckily for you the Neuterbots have no arms and can't actually reach him. Honeydew is spared.

Dirt has dug a hole and is hiding in it, totally camoflaged and inaccessible from marauding robots and everyone else.

Dirt's hole sucessfully conceals the Murderdog until one of the Neuterbots accidentally steps on him. They snip furiously at Dirt but cannot reach his subterranean genitals. They leave in frustration, Dirt survives only slightly sheared.

My defense is your mother.

My mother is also a responsible dog owner. She lets the Neuterbots through unimpeded.

ORANGE HAS BEEN NEUTERED.

put the lime in the coconut

and shake it up

Lime is already is the process of copulating. The Neuterbots are kinda icked out by this and can't really find the Murderdong amidst all this dog love. They awkwardly back away.

Considering my dog is Emerald, and emerald ore is the rarest ore in Minecraft...

Yeah, good luck getting to my dog. I'll be waiting with a shotgun too, maybe a flamethrower.

In a bunker.

Surrounded by ice.

That is on fire.

The Neuterbots get their top tacticians on the case, plan their route and release the Neuterninjas. They dodge magnificently through the guns and fire before slipping and falling on the large puddles of recently melted ice. The Neuterninjas short circuit and explode. The remaining Neuterbots shrug and move on.

righty ho then I'm going to take the rubble from the wall we burst down to get in here (because it is indeed just lying around) and use it to construct a castle, fully crenellated, and Peridot will curl up in its keep. I shall stand guard myself, equipped with catapults and crossbows jury-rigged from lab apparatus (every weapon will have been thoroughly tested to ensure efficacy) and either very, very sharp projectiles (i.e. needles) or ones that are on fire. There will be a moat full of water and potentially hazardous chemicals that I've found, ahem, lying around, and if I can find any lasers in the lab then I am installing them on the keep's roof.

...you know what here have what I would call an "artist's impression" if I were actually an artist and not just a guy who occasionally abuses a pencil:



it has to be a bit on the small side because I imagine there's not that much salvageable rubble but what ho it's sort of more fun this way

come at me robots

pew pew

The Neuterbot Army assembles on the battlefield. They prepare their Neuterseige-Machines and march upon the dog fort. The literal sea of robots crashes against the walls and pushes the defenses to the limits. For a moment it looked like the walls would hold until the Colossal NeuterMecha appears over the horizon. It crashes through the parts of its fallen Neutercomrades and snips through the fort in a single strike.

The defenses are destroyed and all hope seems lost when a strange yellow light radiates from the inner sanctum. Peridot recognizes his true potential as a Murderdog and Murders the NeuterMecha in a blaze of yellowish eye-laser!

But what's this? The NeuterMecha is still standing! It appears all of Peridot's power wasn't enough! The poor Murderdog is too exhausted to continue fighting! The NeuterMecha approaches.

ONLY TO EXPLODE AS SAPPHIRE AND VAN "VAS DEFERENS" DIESEL PUNCH THROUGH IT FROM BEHIND!

SAPPHIRE AND PERIDOT HAVE DEFEATED THE NEUTERMECHA.
WHAT'S THIS? SAPPHIRE AND PERIDOT ARE EVOLVING! PRESS B TO CANCEL...

Yeah granola it's not happening. You can't have Maroon he/she/it is my murderdog and mine alone!

If you want a reason why it's because I say so and if you want to take it up with me at night BRING IT ON.

This feeble defense means nothing to the Neuterbots. Unfortunately they all seem to have exploded in a fiery blaze of manliness. So instead Granolaman suckerpunches Palamedes and kidnaps Maroon.

MAROON HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED AND TAKEN TO GRANOLA RANCHES

ADDITIONALLY, VERMILION, JASMINE, INDIGO, RED, NYZANA, ZOMP, KHAKI, CYAN, BYZANTINE, FUCHSIA, XANADU, WINE AND JASMINE HAVE BEEN DOGNAPPED AND ESCORTED TO GRANOLA RANCHES FOR MURDERDOG MURDERMEAT PROCESSING WHILE NO ONE WAS LOOKING.

You fools! No one can stop me from achieving my ImMurdertality! No one!

DWAYNE "THE ROCK" JOHNSON HAS BEEN NEUTERED

poor dwayne

SpoilerShow

At least my dog can still haz babies without risk of being neutered though :33

wait... didn't Schazer already pair mine up with LegendaryQ's with an image earlier? YESSS MINE STILL HAS OFFSPRING

LEGENDARYQ THERE'S STILL HOPE YET

BEAT THAT GRANOLA

BEAT

THAT

YOU MISERABLE CEREAL BAR

also vote: Granola because even beruru wouldn't use her pickles to do this

Schazer, go update murderfia.

Okay, quick, we need to launch an attack on Granola's ranch to get the dogs back. Also, was there actually a Nyzana color, and if so why did I not remember it, that's right up there with Zomp and Ube.

Schazer, go update murderfia.

In Schazer's alliance, murderfia updates you

Murderfia: Update GX

with you-guessed-it MURDER

you have no appreciation for the art of Murderdog breeding. It takes skill. Do you have ANY IDEA what kind of music those dogs listen to in order to get them going??????

Lynch: Gene, because seriously. I'm pretty sure most of us want to see Murderfia continue (even if we're already dead in it) but you're the only one bringing it up in this unrelated thread.

If you absolutely cannot sit still about a game which Schazer is very kindly trying to run despite being busy with bureaucracy and work and things, then send a dang PM, and word it politely. Bringing it up in other games is just rude.

Current Penis Tally

Team Rebel (4.5): Ube, Emerald, Qua, Amaranth, Goldenrod
Team Townzia (6): Sapphire, Lime, Yellow, Honeydew, Peridot, Dirt

With 10 and a half dicks, it takes 10.5 to WOR.

--------------------

Wait a sec. What did I come in here for again? Oh that's right, now I remember.

Bartender: fill 'er up (Tequila)
Bartender: fill 'er up (Tequila)
Bartender: fill 'er up (Tequila)
Bartender: fill 'er up (Tequila)

i have no idea what is going on.

I wish I could care enough but it's clear nothing's ever going to happen wrt the murderdogs.

Oh gosh poor doggies ;-;

I'm a

just discard my post-apocalyptic murderdog romcom shenanigans and adventure that in all honestly wasn't really going anywhere and um

welp

btp I know Sapphire's got a thing going with Emerald that I thoroughly endorse but I think after that performance our wardoggies need to have a right and proper fucking post-evolution

GLORY TO TOWNZIA

whoops oh well

Aw yeaaaaaah, pantry cupboards are where its at! :3
Alternatively, Unvote.
D: We should do something productive with our day, and possibly increase the population of murderdogs, seeing as both sides have taken a hit.
Also yaaaaaaay, Honeydew and Lime are breeding :D

Hmmm just because they were taken to the Granola ranch doesn't mean they were neutered.

Is illegally bulldozing the Ranch a thing? The bulldozer will be operated by our canine freedom-fighters of course.

Also why doesn't anyone want to mate with 'Norris. His ex-wife was an RV

and the resulting child was Optimus Prime

LegendaryQ is currently unable to make a post due to the fact that LegendaryQ is currently writhing in pain. Amaranth just looks confused.

NOOOO NOT JOHNSON'S JOHNSON!!!

SpoilerShow

It's...it's okay Dwayne. You'll survive.

SpoilerShow

I mean, you already had the wings and pj costume. You know how to get in touch with your emasculated side. And it was for a good cause: Helping imaginary murderdogs wantonly reproduce and not fall prey to a poor disguised murder-meat-market. So, yeah! Everything is on the up and up!

SpoilerShow

Well, except your penis.

Speaking of which...

Van?

SpoilerShow

Yeah Van, I know. It's sad. It doesn't feel right. Eventually you'll realize there was nothing more you could have done. It's not like you posed in front of the neutermechs for precious seconds while your friend's testicals and external urethral opening were needlessly severed from his crotch proper.

oh wait...

SpoilerShow

At least put on some pants. No reason to flaunt your non-handicapped groin.

SpoilerShow

There we go. Now lets get ready to rescue some...Van? Van what are you doing?

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Where did that fast and also furious car come from Van?

Van? ...Van don't pick that up.

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VAN! NO VAN! We can use that! There's still a war to fight! Dwayne's loss is not entirely your fault!

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Noooo! VAN DON'T LEAVE!!!

SpoilerShow

Van "Vas Deferens" Diesel has FLED with JOHNSON'S JOHNSON!


Well....I was going to try and stage a counter assault, using THE ROCK'S ROCKS as a flag to unite us under; however, apparently Vin Diesel is a dick-thief. (oh wow I have said his name wrong this whole time. The more you know.)

Clearly, Surix, DF, we can't just let this meat-mogul have his way with our pups! WE NEED TO JOIN FORCES! TOWNZIA AND SCHAZARIA ALIGN!

Though I'm pretty sure I've seen this movie already:

SpoilerShow

hi

hi

pain

hurts

empty gap where genitalia should be