Oh God Why: Day Three: IT'S LOOOOOOSE (18/30)

I already gave my murderdog to slorange

Dude come on

You're welding freaking dogs to people's faces how did nobody not notice this

oh wait I know why

HOLY FUCK SPIDERS

GUYS

SPIDERS

I HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT SPIDERS

I inform the Neuterbots that my murderdog clearly does not exist, because seriously, who's ever heard of Ube as a color?

So clearly there is no need to neuter my nonexistent dog.

I make my defenses out of meat. You can't ruin my defenses becuz they are delicious.

you are delicious.

EAT: GRANOLAMAN

I... thought she could? Why can't she use them?

Well, she can use them at night, but that's not really a problem. She can't use them during the day if someone targeted her,

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I also know exactly how well my role will interact with the pickle jar, and I'm best on the... actioning end. The self-sacrifice, if you will. Mainly because randomised target = A++.

viz, me.

Oh yeah I then turn my dog into a transgenic organism by inserting a gene from a robot (because why can't robots have beautiful robot babies) in my dog.

Any gene that would fortify my dog's 'dong and anything attached to it.

His sexual reproduction systems are made out of titanium beat that granola.

I... thought she could? Why can't she use them?

Well, she can use them at night, but that's not really a problem. She can't use them during the day if someone targeted her,

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I also know exactly how well my role will interact with the pickle jar, and I'm best on the... actioning end. The self-sacrifice, if you will. Mainly because randomised target = A++.

viz, me.

EBWOP

no kieros. No that is a bad post, why are you reminding me of that post???

hnnnnggg feel like unvoting and then voting for you but beruru is a better lynch.

As a responsible pet owner I will do nothing.

Oh snap he's gone bob barker on us.

Well, rock beats scissors. I'll just use my DWAYNE THE PAINE THE ROCK JOHNSON

That's right Dwayne

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You're up against an army of neuterbots. You're the only thing in between them and the hundreds of illegitimate offspring between myself and TehPilot's professional murderdogs. We are legit breeders A++ certified. Would breed again.

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Don't worry, I won't leave you completely alone. It's your buddy: Van "Vas Deferens" Diesel!

Hey Van!

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Oh...uh...how are you...doing?

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Okay well, Van, The Rock over here could use some assistance protecting these dogs. Do you think you're up for it?

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Never one to back down from a challenge were you Van?

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Okay yeah you can back down maybe a little...

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OH GAH!

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I've got DWYANE "THE ROCK" JOHNSON and Van "Vas Deferens" Diesel

Dwyane is equipped with a rock and Van with a van.

They are a pair of testosterone - honed virility bros. They'll take out quite a few neuterbots, though they might attract a few more as well.

Just to clarify, my DOG IS NOW A GENETICALLY MODIFIED ORGANISM AND HAS "BALLS OF STEEL". IF THERE WAS A DOG-VERSION OF CHUCKNORRIS, THIS WOULD BE IT.

My defense is as follows:

• Neuter is the term used to remove male genitalia.
  
• My dog is female, and as such cannot be "neutered."
  
• Also, just to be sure, I've installed a large solid steel cup around my dog's genitalia.
  
• And my dog is a lapdog. I literally cannot get up right now.
  

Also, in case it wasn't obvious, Vote Granola for not trying to offer virtual hats for my dog and for trying to steal my property.

guys i might have
done terrible things with the pickles
which may include the eating of said pickles
(they were really firm. the best kind of pickle)

where have all the good men gone
and where are all the gods

I'll just store away a suitable amount of genetic material in a freezer/bunker
do what you will to my murderdog, there'll be enough to last the rest of the game

im hungry and i want more pickles can you give me some more pickles please :(

Hey Wheat, I think I've got an idea to help you get rid of that stock of yours.

Drinking contest. Me and you. My hunting license against your bartending license. Winner takes all.

Well, what do you say? Do you accept, or are you too chicken to risk losing at your own game?


P.S. I'm willing to negotiate if you don't think that the stakes are high enough.

P.S.S. Para, you can get in on this too if you want.

Uhhhhh, they didn't let me bring most of my regular arsenal through security, so I don't actually have a very good selection right now.

Let's see, I've got a few dozen paintball guns here, with paintballs in every color of the rainbow except for white. Also this big bag of chopped onions which could probably be used as a makeshift tear gas grenade or something.

And that's all I've got to trade at the moment. Sorry.

...

yep I'm waiting until I get back from school

That sounds fair to me. I can hardly even give these things away anymore. Folks around these parts are just too obsessed with real guns nowadays. No respect for the art of paintball warfare at all. It's such a shame. Oh well, here you go.

Now then, I guess I'll have a few beers to start out with, since you seem to still have a good amount of those left over from yesterday.

Bartender: fill 'er up (Beer)
Bartender: fill 'er up (Beer)
Bartender: fill 'er up (Beer)
Bartender: fill 'er up (Beer)
Bartender: fill 'er up (Beer)

D: NOT MAH PUPPER. I'mma barricade this baby in the finest of high-security locations. Also, I think covering up the important bits is required.
BERURURURU, BREED YOUR PUPPER WITH MY PUPPER AND HAVE THEM MAKE CUTE PUPPERS.

Alternatively, vote: seedy for being a lil too seedy D:

Dirt has dug a hole and is hiding in it, totally camoflaged and inaccessible from marauding robots and everyone else.

My defense is your mother.

Yeah, I went there.

Shit, I don't think that helped.

>YES

So it turns out that messages have to be at least five characters.

D: NOT MAH PUPPER. I'mma barricade this baby in the finest of high-security locations. Also, I think covering up the important bits is required.
BERURURURU, BREED YOUR PUPPER WITH MY PUPPER AND HAVE THEM MAKE CUTE PUPPERS.

Alternatively, vote: seedy for being a lil too seedy D:

put the lime in the coconut

and shake it up