If You Were In Heaven

Ofcourse not all of us believe in heaven, in which case you can call it "your own perfect world."

What would your heaven be? Would your heaven have infinite burgers that only you can eat? Would you be in a landscape made out of candy and gumdrops where you could hear the joyous sounds of a million clown honks all day long?

Would you always be surrounded by the laaaadies (or manlies?!?) ?


You can also argue over which heaven or world would be more perfect.

Ex. Person A: My heaven would have all of the videogames of the world. All of them

Person B: Naw, you need more than that! Like all of the consoles and walkthroughs!

Person C: No you need more desu, there's never enough desu. Desu desu de--

Okay I think you guys get the point.

However: This is a perfect world/heaven, you would expect that it lasts forever and not that "you've always wanted to eat some person's hair" or something equally horrifying. It should last an infinite amount of time with any conditions you want. If you want to eat potatoes forever then there are infinite potatoes and your hunger for potatoes shall last an eternity.

EDIT: You can have more than one different thing in your heaven! You want spoons? You can have spoons. You want pencil cases? You can have those too!

Also, assume there are no other people around unless one of the conditions of your heaven are that there are people around.


AAAAND...

GO

My version of heaven definitely wouldn't be composed chiefly of one single thing for all of the rest of time

It should last an infinite amount of time with any conditions you want.

World peace.

Basically the same as earth, but urinals were never invented. Men get to use closed stalls like everyone else.

Are you asking for a "perfect" heaven, or just a pleasant eternal afterlife?

Can i make a tiny little insignificant suggestion? If you feel like talking about a sort-of-trivial topic like this wouldn't it be better to take it to the general chat thread? That's what it's for.

Are you asking for a "perfect" heaven, or just a pleasant eternal afterlife?

I'm asking for a perfect heaven that pertains to what you want in it. Also, assume there are no other people around unless one of the conditions of your heaven are that there are people around.

Can i make a tiny little insignificant suggestion? If you feel like talking about a sort-of-trivial topic like this wouldn't it be better to take it to the general chat thread? That's what it's for.

Oh what this ol' thread? naw this ain't trivial (i don't think it's trivial, lots of people have opinions on what would be perfect to have in their own perfect world)

That's kind of like asking you what your ideal woman is when you've already got someone you're in love with. I just... wouldn't be able to answer that question with anything else than pointing to the one I love and saying 'Her, with me, 4eva.' Basically, though surely there are many universes one could come up with that have less flaws and more merit, no universe without the Earth would get my heart a-poundin' with the same degree of sha-la-la, ever, whether it has more overall merit in any aspect or not. So basically, my heaven would be an immortalized Earth and Humanity. I'd want us all drifting in an infinite universe, together, evolving and always changing but not expiring, ever reaching for farther horizons, and our planet being taken care of and kept alive/away from disasters by magical grade technologies like a giant self-sustaining traveling space colony.

It's an impossible dream, but that would be my heaven, no doubt about it.

Being waterboarded backwards

...

Firing water out of your nose at war criminals?

That sounds like the most messed up comic ever.

I'd read it.

There are some worrisome parallels between desiring this 'waterboarded backwards' thing as described, and the near-death experiences/oxygen-deprivation highs that people go for when they hang/choke themselves on purpose... D8

Bidet/nasal hydro pump sounds epic though.

Nope, as a forumodmin I'd rather be able to shoot water out my nose at forumnular carpet stains, go fix myself a cup of tea, and come back to find the offending stain removed and my threads all springy and shiny and harbouring a million little dust mites of [arbitrarily good] pointless internet discussions.

This is because preventing Badposting takes and good custodianship and fear of not being seen as a hardass, none of which should be necessary in my ideal heaven.

Also there'd be birds everywhere. You just couldn't move for birds. All the birds. So many birds.

I'd just like to say that I think Valhalla would be pretty rad

Also, I'd be up for reincarnating over and over but a little better each time, like I grab a better metabolism one run and a stronger work ethic the next. New game plussin' this shit.

Reincarnation kind of snuck up on me in the last couple years as an instinctive afterlife belief, but if we're talking a heaven-like thing, I guess I'm going against the rules by not going for a perfect thing since I'm not in the mood to lawyer up anything fancy. But what I'd like is just the ability to see how things keep going after I'm gone. Have the chance to examine stuff in much more depth or breadth than I could while alive, take a break and come back to see how things changed, hop around a bit to get new perspective on stuff, things like that. I'd be nice to have that chance on seeing into so much more than I could while alive, and being unable to know what happens after I die is one of the things that bothers me the most.

It would probably be the ability to play every video game, read every book, and watch every movie, and some other more obscure mediums, except they can also become reality. So, especially fantasy and science fiction. Sounds like bad self insert fics but what the fuck ever okay. Oh and also I'd be a lizardman but I think that's obvious.

So, basically hinduism?

(There's three castes, High middlin and low and then one Outcaste called the untouchables or dalits, and if you're born a dalit you are supposed to stay the heck away from the others and the only way you can ever hope for any better is: if you are a good servant to the caste members, you have a chance of one day being reincarnated into a caste)

No like, not as someone who's Higher Up, but as someone who's just a better person than I used to be.

I guess that's kind of buddhist depending on what metrics we're using, iunno.

Heaven for me would be to just have real life, but then take out all the stupid, shitty worries. I am differentiating this from regular worries. A stupid, shitty worry would be like "how will i pay my bills" or "how am i going to get a job" or "will my goddamn cat piss outside the litterbox again." Regular worries are just like "i should clean the litterbox" or "I should clean the house" or "I should wash the dishes" or "I should write a grand battle post."

also there will be other people. I need other people to continue making great things for me to consume.

But I wouldn't interact with them because I'll finally be an almost-perfect hermit living in a fairly isolated place with flawless wifi.

also everybody would be philosophers.

that is my heaven.

I think buddhism is like, you can sometimes mess up in a life and get a lot of bad karma and become a snail in your next life, but if you're a really nice snail you accumulate good karma (no matter what kind of living thing you are you can get karma) and reincarnate into something better and can work yourself back up to human again. It's a system where you're allowed to fall and get back up again, so I like it [unlike concepts such as oh you messed up this time around? OK WELL BURN IN HELL FOR ETERNITY] [not questioning people's beliefs just sayin' it's a really merciless one xD]

edit: I love how so far everyone's like, screw afterlife, I WANT THIS WORLD MOAR but I wanna do more stuff I like in it yo

also everybody would be philosophers.

that is my heaven.

I'm pretty sure that'd be my hell

Heaven or Hell

Let's rock.

I'd probably meet five people who'd explain why my life went the way it did

Then become one of those people for someone else

I'd probably meet five people who'd explain why my life went the way it did

Then become one of those people for someone else

Kinda like this?

I'm here to place a sign over the joke, but it seems my contract has been underbid by a non-union amateur

Boys get the bats

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NONONO NOT THE BATS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

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~This program is experiencing technical difficulties. Please standby as this toaster is beaten to death~

*screen turns back on*

"NO LINDA, WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE ARE YOU SENDING TO OUR VIEWERS?! THE NETWORK IS GOING TO KILL US! Hold on I think they're on the pho-"

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AAAAnd we are BACK, coming to you from the 7th Ring of Hell, this is......

THE TOOOASTER!

IN MORE RELEVANT NEWS I don't even know what my ideal heaven would be.

also everybody would be philosophers.

that is my heaven.

I'm pretty sure that'd be my hell

I guess rather than "everyone being philosophers" I mean something more along the lines of "everybody knowing philosophy" since it's my belief that if Philosophy was a mandatory course in like high school or middle school or something, the world would be a better place.

In any case, it's not like I'd be interacting with all those philosophers much. My heaven is selective hermitude, remember?