Another Me - Your number has been called!

>You don't like ice cream?

>ugh, he's here too

> You don't like ice cream?

CLOVER: Christ, Effy. Ya want a ghost to eat ice cream.
EFFY: Um... I still don't really get it, sorry.
EFFY: ... You don't like ice cream anymore?! But that means...
CLOVER: *groan* No, course I still like ice cream!
EFFY: So we can keep coming here??
CLOVER: Yes!
EFFY: Then... What's the problem again?
CLOVER: She's a GHOST!

CLOVER: Ugh, fuck, I need to keep my voice down!
NIMAH: Oh, no, it's fine.
CLOVER: Like hell it is, people are starin'!
NIMAH: ... Ah. That may be so, but... What I mean is that I want to eat the ice cream.
EFFY: See? Ghosts love ice cream!
EFFY: Gosh, I had no idea...
CLOVER: Oh my GOD--
NIMAH: Hahaha. Well, I'm not sure if you could say that as a rule, exactly...

NIMAH: But I would very much like to try it. It should be possible when I am solid.
EFFY: That's so cool! So you can still taste stuff? Do you have a stomach? Does...
EFFY: Wait, you've never had ice cream???

CLOVER: Oh my GOD, Effy, where d'ya think Nimah was supposed to get freakin' ice cream hundreds of years ago off in god knows where?!

CLOVER: Ffffuck, I did it again, fuck, let's go some other place!
EFFY: I-It's fine...!

>Okay cofee guy, you just way overeacted for what for mot people know,, was just a crazy girl spouting over imaginative nonsense. And you especialy reacted to the name, 'Nimah'. So what the sccop here ? Paranormal archaeologist ? friendly neihborghood necromancer ? Dish

>I'd say spill the beans, but you have kind of done that already, you should probaly mop that coffee.

wait, that's not... is that...? so he can...?

Oh, and... huh. I wonder why overhearing "she's a ghost" and talking about being solid didn't set him off... but that line did. Was it the "hundreds of years ago", or the name Nimah?

>Coffee guy: Wait! I'm sorry, did you just say...?

>Coffee guy: Fanboy the ghost with archeology questions.

>Order one of those needlessly complicated chocolate sundaes with the frightening names like "Chocozuma's Doom with a Side of Ragnarockyroad and Sprinkles".
>Ask if the have Ben & Jerry's.

> Okay coffee guy, you just way overreacted



You are, among many other things, a man of letters and mathematics and science, and you would say what just transpired was, in a sense, a collision of those same worlds. Certainly, any loud-mouthed girl can speak of ghosts, for whatever reason that strikes her fancy. Any child can have a silly, faintly amusing argument about long-dead ancestors and why they should or should not eat ice cream.

But add those words to that name and to the face you wondered if you recognised when you glanced behind your shoulder, and you arrive at one simple, yet startling conclusion.

EFFY: Um... Let's sit down! M-Maybe in the corner here? There aren't even a lot of people here today, so...!
CLOVER: No, we're leavin'!
EFFY: Clo, it's fine...
CLOVER: Yeah, well, maybe if ya help me find a believable freakin' excuse for all the stuff I just said--
EFFY: Uh... I guess we could just come back when there's someone else at the counter...
NIMAH: Wait, what's this one on the menu? This "Chocozuma"? May I try it?
EFFY: S-See, she wants to try that one, so we should sit down and...
CLOVER: Ugggh, it's just a name, they got the same thing at the other place!
EFFY: ... Clo, seriously, it's ok, we can just say we were talking about... About, um, a show, or...

> Coffee guy: Wait! I'm sorry, did you just say...?

???: Please! Could I have just a moment of your time?
CLOVER: No!
EFFY: Um, sure.

???: To be quite blunt, you are the one I would like to have a word with.
NIMAH: Me?
???: Yes. I couldn't help but overhear your name.
NIMAH: Ah... I... am not from around here.
???: Oh, of course. Neither am I.

???: I have recently arrived here from my home country of France, in fact. And although I was curious about what I would find here, I never imagined I would find you.
NIMAH: I don't understand.
???: 1728, hidden well to the west of Chunjujub. You very nearly tore a hole in my face. Somehow, we found an understanding, despite my exceedingly poor grasp of your language - which I am afraid I still haven't corrected...
NIMAH: ... Oh my goodness! Is it really you?
EFFY: You know him?
???: It's quite astounding, but yes! Please, call me...

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

SpoilerShow

Whoa, you finally get to name a character? For the first time in this thread, actually?? Wow!

So, dear readers, who shall this mysterious French scholar be?

wait, wh-

but he's already got a-

...>François-Marie d'Arouet

>Aubin Didon

Beauregard T. Historien, it's an ironic name, but an apt one.

Jacques Schmidt. The name's not quite French, but I'm a genuine Frenchman.

> François-Marie d'Arouet



Haha, what? No.

???: Beauregard. Aubin Beauregard. Or, of course, simply Aubin. Friends of an old, dear friend have no need for such formalities!

NIMAH: Wait... That isn't...
AUBIN: The name you know me by? I know.
AUBIN: But you know me, do you not? My fondness for mingling with humans is as healthy as ever!
AUBIN: ... Not to mention, a change of pace is nice from time to time.

AUBIN: But! These are topics that are perhaps not the best fit for a place like this. If I may suggest...
CLOVER: (Psst.)
EFFY: Wh... (What?)
CLOVER: (This dude is shady as fuck, is what!)
EFFY: (Huh? No, he isn't... He looks like... like a librarian, or, ooh, maybe a cool historian, or...?)
CLOVER: (Effy, for cryin' out loud, did ya even HEAR him basically say he ain't human--)
NIMAH: Oh, of course! Would that be alright with you two?
EFFY & CLOVER: What?

NIMAH: His suggestion. Is that alright?
AUBIN: You have your ice cream, I have my... new attempt at a coffee, and we can have a chat on our way out?
CLOVER: WHAT?? Look, man, maybe she knows ya, but we don't, and I don't see why we gotta let ya just tag along like we're--
AUBIN: My treat.
CLOVER: Huh?
AUBIN: That IS how you say it, isn't it? I will treat you to the ice cream. My treat.

The irascible young lady has been successfully persuaded by the idea of savings.

You have the feeling you have as many questions to ask as they do. What an interesting turn this trip has taken!

>OKAY MISTER WHAT ARE YOU

>A wise-man once said, "Empires rise and fall, but all pales before frozen dairy." Remember, no matter what earth shattering revelations Monsieur Beauregard provides, your delicious ice-cream must remain a priority.

>Aubin: Ask questions in a calm and measured-
>Effy: OH GOSH ARE YOU MAGIC WHAT KIND OF MAGIC PEOPLE ARE THERE QUESTIONS QUESTIONS QUESTIONS

>Aubin: After the introductions are over inform them that you're in here for the same reason as always: you would like the Thing back. Now.

>Aubin: Turn out to be an archeologist by day, a ghostologist at night.

> A wise-man once said, "Empires rise and fall, but all pales before frozen dairy." Remember, no matter what earth shattering revelations Monsieur Beauregard provides, your delicious ice-cream must remain a priority.



Of course. None of you even step outside before the feast is over.

> Aubin: Ask questions in a calm and measured-



And now that everyone is nourished, you may get to the heart of the occasion. The newfound one, that is, and not the matter that originally brought you here.

AUBIN: I must admit, I hardly know where to begin. From the mundane to the extraordinary, there is so much I want to hear!
AUBIN: I suppose I should introduce myself properly to the two of you, but truthfully, I would rather not spend much time on such a topic for now, when there are so many more interesting things to--

> Effy: OH GOSH ARE YOU MAGIC WHAT KIND OF MAGIC PEOPLE ARE THERE QUESTIONS QUESTIONS QUESTIONS

EFFY: Nonononono! Please tell us more!
EFFY: What are you if you're not human? How'd you meet Grandma? Do you just like coffee a lot?!
CLOVER: Oh, here we fuckin' go again.
AUBIN: Ah...

AUBIN: Hahahahah!
AUBIN: Very well, we can spare some time for proper introductions! I suppose I may as well wait to delve deeper once I can safely take notes without bumping into an unsuspecting passer-by.
AUBIN: But please, you first. I don't believe you have told me your names yet.

EFFY: Sorry! My name's Sabrina, but you can just call me Effy, since that's what all my friends call me!
CLOVER: Yeah, uh, I'm Clover. Just... Clover.
EFFY: Oh, and, um, Ms. Nimah's not really my "grandma"? She's more like my great-great-... something... -grandma, but, but... It's easier to just... You know?
CLOVER: Effy.
EFFY: Oh! And I'm gonna be a magical guardian!
CLOVER: Effy!

AUBIN: ... Are you, now?
AUBIN: You seem very... young, if I may.
NIMAH: ...
NIMAH: This is the right time for her training to begin.
NIMAH: I wasn't much older when the two of us met.

>Too young? Bah! She can take it. She's tough as nails, that one. I mean, just look at her. *whispers* Effy, try and look tough.
>But wait, we are forgetting the most important question. What did Nimah think of the Chocozuma ice-cream?

>Clover: Is it the right time, though?

AUBIN: That may be true, but those were different times. Worse times, I would not hesitate to say.
AUBIN: I understand and respect your traditions, but today, thankfully, it is much more common to allow children to be children.
NIMAH: ... Aubin...
NIMAH: It's not as if she's supposed to do this in earnest straight away. There's training to be done, and no harm in beginning early.
NIMAH: This is how it has to be.

AUBIN: Because tradition dictates it?
NIMAH: Yes.
AUBIN: Tell me, has it been left unguarded?
NIMAH: There is no one currently at the location. Nobody has tried to enter it for years, so it has been decided that surveillance from a distance should be enough for now.
AUBIN: ...
AUBIN: Setting aside the many questions that this raises - for now - what is the problem with letting the situation remain as it is for a little longer, then?
NIMAH: ... It's not ideal!

> Effy, try and look tough.

EFFY: I-I get what you're saying, but I'm sure it's fine! I'm not a kid anymore!
EFFY: Besides, I really want to do this! This stuff might be new to me, um, in "real life", but I've read all sorts of stories about fighting evil!
EFFY: And! And besides, I can already do SOME magic, even without training! So I DO get training, I'll be ready in no time!
EFFY: Right, Clo?

>Clover: Is it the right time, though?

EFFY: ... Clo?

>Effy: How bad could training be, anyway? It's fun, probably!

>Clover, I think I see a vein bulging on your forehead. Is now really the time for a conniption?
>Effy: You're going to need to think of a "hero" name for Clover too. She is your sidekick, after all.

> Clover, I think I see a vein bulging on your forehead. Is now really the time for a conniption?



You are now Clover, and if you had any kind of meta-textual awareness that allowed you to read the words above you, you would be telling those words to get right the fuck out.

Of course Effy thinks she's not a kid. You thought you were hot shit when you were 13 too, but now that you are a mature 15-year-old, you know better. And even if she were older, that stuff she's saying? The implication that she understands what she's getting into in the slightest just because she's seen cartoons? Total freakin' nonsense garbage.

These thoughts run through your head not for the benefit of a hypothetical reader, but because god damn you're getting mad. Mad enough that you don't really give a shit about Effy giving you the puppy-dog eyes.

> Effy: How bad could training be, anyway? It's fun, probably!

EFFY: I-I mean... It's fine, right?
EFFY: It's just training... I-It's practice! I bet it's gonna be fun! Heck, you're coming along, so... so how could it NOT be?
EFFY: And... And maybe you'll learn things too! It doesn't have to be magic, but what if we were like... partners? Guardian partners! Like Doki-chan and Yuriko--

CLOVER: For fuck's SAKE, Effy, shut up!
CLOVER: You hearin' yourself? Or are ya just that stupid?
CLOVER: I don't KNOW what all this garbage's about, but look--
AUBIN: Ahem.

AUBIN: Shall we go back to the introductions and discuss this later?
AUBIN: Perhaps once we've all sat down in the comfort of... Effy's home?
NIMAH: ... Yes. We're almost there, if I'm not mistaken.
AUBIN: Wonderful. Now, as I said, you may call me Aubin! But if I were to extend this introduction...

AUBIN: I could tell you that I am a thinker, a writer and a scholar! A historian in some sense of the word, but only in that my desire to know more about the world we live in has led me to ponder upon our past. Indeed, there are few things I love more than the pursuit of knowledge. The pursuit of justice may be a close second...
CLOVER: Nobody asked for this.
EFFY: ...
AUBIN: As for "what I am" if not a human, as you put it, Effy, I suppose you could quite generically call me a demon.