SP_NT_R_

>Gender: N

>Quickly get fed up with character creation and press Alt-F4 repeatedly. Nothing bad can possibly come of this decision.

> Gender: N.

> Gender: N

>Gender: N!

>Ask the meaning of M/F/N/O
>Set gender to N.
>Remain patient.

clearly the option we're being offered is "gender: no," and i say take it

N

You consider making something up but you figure there’s one option that’ll be the most fun. While you were assigned female at birth, you’ve never really taken to the whole concept of gender roles. Who needs them. In fact, who even needs shitty genders in the first place?

Your character’s gender is No.

INPUT VERIFICATION: APPROVED

Your phone lights up; two of your fans have sent you messages. Oh! You almost forgot to activate your stream! With the mysterious ‘OS’ refusing to work in a Virtual Machine, you had to pull out your old capture card and configure thing the old-fashioned way. Hopefully it works.

“Welcome to the stream today and sorry for the delay. This game seems odd, whatever it is. I’ve just started entered the character gen screen and it’s asking for a lot of information. So, what are going to name ourselves?”

Show Content

SpoilerFor once, joke names are actually in-demand; for every serious name suggestion (max 3) you can submit one joke name. Trust me, it'll make sense next update.

>Rosco

>Grendel
>Thistle
>Thorn

Show Content

>Beef Stronkanoff

>Bella Belle
>Ponkrat N. Cheesehammer

>Emmental
>Chas
>Trumpet

>Barrison Giet
>Mistanphonol of Frath
>Eke Drupczies

>|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||bop
>smith.
>HELPIMTRAPPEDINACHARACTERSHEETFACTORY

You try a few joke combinations,based on audience suggestions, along with a few of your own.
'Actual McRealname'
INPUT VERIFICATION: REJECTED. PLEASE INPUT NAME.
'big boy' REJECTED 'Huh. Any other ideas?'

Ponkrat N. Cheesehammer

REJECTED

Beef Stronkanoff

REJECTED 'What'

'ExpanDong'

REJECTED 'In'

Mistanphonol of Frath

REJECTED 'The'

HELPIMTRAPPEDINACHARACTERSHEETFACTORY

REJECTED 'GODDAMN'
No matter what you try, it throws a fit. This is beyond weird. How does it know they’re fake?

Why would it care?

>Bella

>Thistle

>Barrison

INPUT VERIFICATION: ACCEPTED. WELCOME, 'Bella Thistle Barrison'. AUTOMATED SYSTEMS CALIBRATED. UPLOADING VALUES TO DATABASE.

You're starting to regret waking up today.

EXTRACTING VALUES. AGE INACCURACY DETECTED. EXPECTED RANGE 14-18.
GIS MATRIX OFFLINE. MANUAL LOCATION ID REQUIRED.
SPECIALITY IDENTIFIED: GAMING.
SECONDARY SPECIALITY IDENTIFIED. INPUT CONFIRMATION REQUESTED
WEAKNESS: UPLOAD FAILURE. RECHECK CONNECTION AND RESUBMIT.

age; 17.9
Location ID: 4

Secondary Speciality; Cooking
Weakness; Severe Cheese Allergy

Hey, "Mistanphonol of Frath" is a fine name! I would name my children that.
We'd have to move to Frath, but it would be worth it.

Age: 0F
Location ID: Frath
Secondary Specialty: Undermining expectations
Weakness: Sincerity

you're 19. i mean sometimes you even forget yourself, it's the summer after graduation and when people ask you say 18 but you've also been writing down "2015" on all your tests for like... 3 years now. but you were born on the last day of the 20th century, that's important, you think.

you were born right here in jolly old britlund, in a suburb fulla chavs you have you have yet to escape, and you're worried about what brexit means for the study abroad program.

you like to think you're good at playing the drums but actually right now you blow. this computer will pick up on that and force you to input the skill you've been honing since your 11th birthday: sleight-of-hand magic tricks

your weakness is your genetic predisposition to parkinsons. or, more light-heartedly, you love salt so much that that'll probably kill you before that hits!

>1061 years old

>201
>If it does not accept that, try 17.

>Compound City, New Place
>Secondary Specialty: Cooking
>Weakness: Hypersensitivity to warmth. Your body is used to extreme cold, and would shiver uncontrollably when subjected to a hot environment.

INPUT ERROR IDENTIFIED: AUTOCORRECTING… LOCATION CONFIRMED: 55°58' N 3°10'W EST. FIDELITY: LOW

17.9

17

AGE CONFIRMED: 6533
ADDITIONAL STISITICS GENERATED.
The program spits out a bunch of numbers. Whatever mysterious data collection ability it has, its level of accuracy continues to unnerve you, to the extent that you’re increasingly pertubed by having it all streamed to your audience – even if it’s currently of 6-7 people, all of whom you kind of know. It originally spat out some strange spelling mistakes, but yes you do indeed live in Leith, a suburb of Edinburgh on the FrathFirth of Forth. It seems to register you as ‘British’, much to your dismay and disgust. Your parents left the chad world of chavs over a decade ago and you’re rather happy here, well, most of the time. There’s even a decent LGBT scene, even if you really aren’t interested in exploring that side of things for another year or so. That’s a whole different agender (teeheehee).

Speaking of waiting, you’re graduating from S6 next week; you could’ve dropped-out sooner, but you decided to stick around for the extra two years in the hopes of getting into University. You’re not sure why it’s displaying your age like that, but it probably makes sense? It got everything else more or less right. Even if you wish it didn’t!

Gaming is very much your main jam, it’s fun to extract salt from losers though you’re a pretty competitive person and can get a pretty tilted when people mess things up. You also enjoy cooking and work part-time at a Chippy. While you certainly don’t feel fat, the local cuisine has rubbed onto you a bit lately! You want to work somewhere more refined, but it’ll be hard to wean yourself off pakora, festy cock and rumbledethumps.

You are HEAT-SENSITIVE, which you aren’t sure is because of living here so long, or an actual thing of yours – either way it’s one of the reasons you love Scotland.

MODIFIERS APPLIED: IMAGINATION +1, FITNESS -1
SKILLS ADDED: COOKING+2, GAMING+2
QUIRK ADDED: ‘LORD OF THE FRIES’
ALIGNMENT SET TO ‘NONE’.

COMPLETION: 50% INPUTS PENDING: PREFERENCES & APPEARANCE. REMINDER: CHOICES WILL AFFECT STATISTICS PER MANUAL.

>Since you're sensitive to heat, you often prefer the COLD. You prefer BRIGHT ORANGE COLORS like a lot.
>You have really gender ambiguous hair. You have very vivid green eyes, they almost appear like glowing.
>You wear dark clothing with orange stripes. You also have this clawed metal glove you got from your dad that you love so much, it feels like it's part of you when you wear it.

>Cold is good. Rainy is good. More rain is better.
>You like to wear masks, and have picked up a wide array of masks from around the world over the years. Heck, your wearing one right now.

>You have lovely scales and a single snaggletooth poking from your snout that you can't decide if it's cute or stupid-looking. You're *this close* to just getting it removed already and settling the issue. You've been *this close* to just getting it removed already and settling the issue since the dang thing grew in that way in the first place, which was several years ago now.

>Yes, rain. Rain is very good. Snow is even better, but it's a "sometimes treat".

>You love Airwove art and style, even if it's kind of out of fashion these days. Or anything that came out of the Featherblitzed scene in Berlin.

>Oranges are your favorite fruit. You eat so many it's kind of unhealthy. You tried to deep-fry an orange once... you don't talk about that anymore. But you do have this gene-modded tangerine bonsai that grows these tiny little marble-sized fruits that you're quite fond of.

>You main Gangplank and Renekton. Or you did up until you decided last week that that game's rubbish and you'd better quit cold turkey. (Much to the consternation of your streaming audience, most of whom insist you won't last until the end of the month.)

EDIT: Wait, it turns out tangerine bonsai is a real thing.

That's pretty cool.

you like socially-conscious punk (riot grrl etc) but not to where it's a lifestyle that would require you to wear some kind of cumbersome glam rock accessories in public. that'd just be weird! no, you save the masks for selfies and skyping because, as a nerd, you're rightfully paranoid about your privacy and leaving a digital paper trail which is why this game is really freaking you out and you're thinking of shutting down the stream. the big downside of that is that nobody online gets to see how your make-up game is perpetually on-point, with exaggerated smoky eyeshadow and your wide selection of vividly-colored lipstick to coordinate with your outfit and perpetually dyed-and-redyed hair. you aim for "classy and mysterious" but that's hard when your best options are thrift stores. right now though you're wearing pyjamas.

you're a cat person and bi and your room is clean

you like socially-conscious punk (riot grrl etc) but not to where it's a lifestyle that would require you to wear some kind of cumbersome glam rock accessories in public. that'd just be weird! no, you save the masks for selfies and skyping because, as a nerd, you're rightfully paranoid about your privacy and leaving a digital paper trail which is why this game is really freaking you out and you're thinking of shutting down the stream. the big downside of that is that nobody online gets to see how your make-up game is perpetually on-point, with exaggerated smoky eyeshadow and your wide selection of vividly-colored lipstick to coordinate with your outfit and perpetually dyed-and-redyed hair. you aim for "classy and mysterious" but that's hard when your best options are thrift stores. right now though you're wearing pyjamas.

you're a cat person and bi and your room is clean

actually i take this all back. your interests are video games, video games but you win, and being a dick about and inside of video games. you have no interesting traits, you're a miserable, small-minded person. your favorite music is whatever is on the radio and your uniform is jeans and a "funny" graphc tee. still a cat person

>You like Mica, Copper, Red Pyrope, Ash, Llama yarn, the colour olive, figurines and crutches. When possible, you prefer to consume Bear lungs and Mulberry Wine. You absolutely detest floating guts.