Four Lore and Speculation

They're multiplying
gonna have to build a honkipedia for all these clowns

Please no

might have to pull out the earlier, much less nightmarish honkit out of cold storage

might have to pull out the earlier, much less nightmarish honkit out of cold storage

Pull it out so I can add it to my c o l l e c t i o n

Why is this happening hahaha
Can we just get a Honkit emoticon for ET and and be done with this monstrosity

SPEAKING OF MONSTROSITIES! Prepare yourselves for the next chapter of the TMI Handbook: Danger Rating Font System!

the proto honkit is unleashed

SpoilerShow

Honkin (Name pending review)

Trivia
Honkin's are... Well... Odd.
To start with, compared to other members of the Honk genus, Honkin are... Simple? Foolish? Whatever the case, what exactly is going on in it's noggin is impenetrable to all outsiders.
What is apparent however, is that regardless of it's actual intelligence it certainly acts moronic.
Honkin are well known for walking in circles, into walls, off cliffs, into objects, other Honkin, etc etc etc, without any apparent recognition that the action is either impossible or dangerous.
If you catch a Honkin doing these, they will continue walking in whatever direction they were heading before they encountered an obstacle.
Or members of the Honk genus are strangely protective of Honkin, putting aside usual shenanigans for the sake of keeping the Honkin out of danger. Due to this, keeping a Honkin safely on or around your person is a good way to get other members of the Honk family to trust you. Likewise, harming a Honkin will cause them to go ballistic.*

Strength/Weaknesses
Honkin are harmless. If you find one on its own, you can kill them with ease. You monster.
Bizzarely, Honkin are immune to all thought intrusion. Whatever thoughts these things have, nobody else will ever know.
If the Honkin is ever in danger, other members of the Honk family will be summoned from increasingly large distances. They usually are not happy.

Techniques
Empty Stare- The Honkin gives you a blank look, void of any signs that this is a creature that thinks.
Danger Beacon - The Honkin places itself in harms way. Again.
Faceshift- The one unique thing Honkin have is perhaps one of the strangest things out of the entire Honk family. Rarely, a Honkin learns to actually express itself. It does this by attempting to resemble other, more famous (or infamous) faces.**

*On the other hand, if you are interested in befriending the Mimeo's...***
**Yes, those faces. You probably can guess the ones. No, they aren't very picky about when they do this. Yes, it can be very awkward at parties.
***This is mentioned for factual accuracy, we do not condone befriending of Mimeo's. Report any Mimeo sightings in your area to your local supervisor.

no more clowns for at least a week after this

Oh my god

Adding more to my numbers, we are growing stronger

Please remove the Honkit from the story

no.

SpoilerShow

There are plans for these critters.
And their relatives.

Soon.

So is there a font where the Unicode full-width Latin characters are not the worst thing to read? Related: why not use Em-Space (" ")? Defined as the width of the character `M`, it has the nice feature of being wide enough to be noticeable.

If there is, and it works with the forum, and is as easy to use as [ https://fullwidthtext.blogspot.ca/ ] that would be swell? ' -';

" Ｃｏｕｎｃｉｌｏｒ Ｍｙｅｔｈ, Ｎｏ! . . . Ａｌｌｏｗ ｔｈｅ Ｔｅｃｈｍｉｎｄ ｔｏ ｈｅｌｐｆｕｌｌｙ ｓｅｎｄ ａ [Ｔｉｅｒ 1 Ｃｏｕｒｉｅｒ] ｔｏ ｒｅｔｒｉｅｖｅ ｔｈｅ Ｈｏｎｋ Ｃｒｅａｔｕｒｅ ｆｏｒ ｙｏｕ. Ｗｅ ｄｏ ｎｏｔ ｕｎｄｅｒｓｔａｎｄ ｙｏｕｒ ｆａｓｃｉｎａｔｉｏｎ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅｍ, ｂｕｔ ｔｈｅ Ｔｅｃｈｍｉｎｄ ｄｏｅｓ ｎｏｔ ｄｉｓｃｒｉｍｉｎａｔｅ ｂａｓｅｄ ｏｎ ｔａｓｔｅ. Ｂｅｓｉｄｅｓ, ｉｆ ｗｅ ｒｅｔｒｉｅｖｅ ｉｔ, ｔｈｅｎ ｉｔ'ｓ ｏｎｅ ｌａｓｔ ｔｈｉｎｇ ｔｈａｔ Ｖｉｓｉｔｏｒ Ａｕｂｒｅｙ ｈａｓ ｔｏ ｗｏｒｒｙ ａｂｏｕｔ. Ａｌｔｈｏｕｇｈ ｉｔ'ｓ ｐｒｏｂａｂｌｙ ｔｈｅ ｃａｒｅ ｐａｃｋａｇｅ. Ｈｏｐｅｆｕｌｌｙ. "
old text, made using the fullwidthtext generator

" Councilor Myeth, No! . . . Allow the Techmind to helpfully send a [Tier 1 Courier] to retrieve the Honk Creature for you. We do not understand you fascination with them, but the Techmind does not discriminate based on taste. Besides. if we retrieve it, then it's one less thing that Visitor Aubrey has to worry about. Although it's probably the care package. Hopefully. "
regular text

"　Ｃｏｕｎｃｉｌｏｒ　Ｍｙｅｔｈ，　Ｎｏ！　．　．　．　Ａｌｌｏｗ　ｔｈｅ　Ｔｅｃｈｍｉｎｄ　ｔｏ　ｈｅｌｐｆｕｌｌｙ　ｓｅｎｄ　ａ　[Ｔｉｅｒ　１　Ｃｏｕｒｉｅｒ]　ｔｏ　ｒｅｔｒｉｅｖｅ　ｔｈｅ　Ｈｏｎｋ　Ｃｒｅａｔｕｒｅ　ｆｏｒ　ｙｏｕ．　Ｗｅ　ｄｏ　ｎｏｔ　ｕｎｄｅｒｓｔａｎｄ　ｙｏｕ　ｆａｓｃｉｎａｔｉｏｎ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｔｈｅｍ，　ｂｕｔ　ｔｈｅ　Ｔｅｃｈｍｉｎｄ　ｄｏｅｓ　ｎｏｔ　ｄｉｓｃｒｉｍｉｎａｔｅ　ｂａｓｅｄ　ｏｎ　ｔａｓｔｅ．　Ｂｅｓｉｄｅｓ．　ｉｆ　ｗｅ　ｒｅｔｒｉｅｖｅ　ｉｔ，　ｔｈｅｎ　ｉｔ＇ｓ　ｏｎｅ　ｌｅｓｓ　ｔｈｉｎｇ　ｔｈａｔ　Ｖｉｓｉｔｏｒ　Ａｕｂｒｅｙ　ｈａｓ　ｔｏ　ｗｏｒｒｙ　ａｂｏｕｔ．　Ａｌｔｈｏｕｇｈ　ｉｔ＇ｓ　ｐｒｏｂａｂｌｙ　ｔｈｅ　ｃａｒｅ　ｐａｃｋａｇｅ．　Ｈｏｐｅｆｕｌｌｙ．　"
some sort of weird vaporwave text generator that Tuesday linked me. This any better, Smurfton?

The vaporwave thing is definitely easier to read

I actually think the Vaporwave thing is more readable too, yeah

Vaporwave for sure. Thanks, NotABear and Tuesday.

Alrighty. I'll start using that from now on! ' -'b (and if you want, I can go back and reformat all my old posts?)

This is fecking amazing.
I encourage everyone to post their headcanons of their Councilor(s) in this thread for my viewing pleasure
i mean
uh
our collective archival

From the Palce RecordsShow

Whatareyoudoing

There is nothing you should worry about. Carry on your messenger duties, Sunflower.

Icanseeyou

Didyoujustoverthrowthem

Do you see that little staff in my hands? Is this still a question?

I will be up when a little bird says this, so worry not.

This will be fine.

Overheard from the gardenShow

A bud enters the garden. Their flowers are about to bloom, but they haven't opened fully yet. They sit there, basking in the sun.

Briefly, there is a crumple of leaves. They grumble.
“Sunflower, haven’t I told you to leave already?”

Silence.

Then a crumple of leaves again.

“I can tell you’re there. Don’t even bother.”

There is a sigh, before Sunflower enters. Their body is covered with their own seeds and leaves, with the occasional petals it. With seeds for eyes, they squint at their leader.

“You wanted a letter delivered to who?”

“It’s on the back of the letter, Sunflower.”

“I’ve never imagined you’d talk to such ....... seedy people.”

“Spare me the puns.”

“Not allowed.”

Sunflower waves the letter in front of the bud's face.

“The Ivy would do nothing to help us.”

“It is in their intrest.”

“Are you planning to sacrifice this year‘s seedlings?”

The bud pauses. “Nothing of the sort.”

“Conscription.”

“Of course not, whom do you take me for?”

Even without looking at Sunflower, the bud knows that the other wouldn’t look at them.

“My leader.”

“As I should be. Speak to the Ivy. If they won’t answer to a letter...”

The bud picked up a leaf and crushed it.

“As you wish.”

And so Sunflower left, leaving the bud alone once more.

Is this satisfactory enough or what you meant

ahhhh these are so gooood what the heelllll thank you wM!!!

the metanarrative makes me happy

You are welcome Tuesday! d: i aim to please

The metanarritve i think we can all agree is super fun!

A bit behind the scenes at the ol Warehouse.

Employee Orientation Part 1. !!Welcome!!Show

[!!Click Me!!]
!!Well Hi there new Employee!!
!!And a big ol welcome from Bananatech, where it's all smiles all the time!!
!!Now, let's clear up a few things you've probably heard about this place!!
!!First, You probably have heard stories about our lovely company here!!
!!And I just want to be the first to tell you, those stories are all false!!
!!Bananatech is one of, if not THE safest place in the multiverse!!
!!Employees RARELY get so much as a papercut here!!
!!And if somehow, against all odds, you DO get injured, we have a fully-equiped medical facility for all your needs!!
!!We even offer fully-paid vacations AND sick-days!!
!!So very, very safe here!!
!!Another rumor is that we have no idea what we're doing here!!
!!What meany says these things anyways, huh!!
!!It's also false, we are a combination pandimensional pawnshop and warehouse, for all your storage or sales needs!!
!!Not that you good folks need me telling you this, haha!!
!!But in Bananatech, it pays to be Absolutely, Positively, 100% on the same page with all employees!!
!!After all, you woudn't want your work hours to be scheduled during your kids birthday, right!!
!!Righterino, and that's why we here at Bananatech set the bar for employee happiness and benefits!!
!!OH!!
!!Would you look at the time folks!!
!!Seems I'm all out for this session!!
!!But you folks were listening, right!!
!!So hope you enjoyed listening to me, Bananarama, and are looking forward to your new career!!
!!We hope you'll come to love Bananatech like we do!!
!!And that's all from this orientation, please head to the counter to receive your employee card, and follow the line with the same color as your card to get to job training!!
!!And remember, with short hours for great pay, we hope you'll come to love Bananatech like we do!!
You will, won't you?

That was vaguely ominous but also entertaining