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Gimeurcookie · 03-31-2017, 07:06 PM

TYCHE

Welcome to [TYCHE], the raffle spot! Whenever someone donates their patreon reward, or anything they wish to donate, [TYCHE] will open up for a raffle. Here you may sign up, and then all numbers for the raffle will be pulled at a public stream for everyone to see!

If you would like to donate any rewards please pm Gimeurcookie and your reward will be placed in the next round of raffles!

HOW TO ENTER

To enter is simple! First make a numbered list of all the prizes you want from most wanted to least wanted. Please only put prizes you want on the list as you will not be able to reject your prize or pick your prize after you win. All prizes are picked from your list!

You can only win once, and when you win you're taken out of the raffle. Don't worry about how good your entry is, all entries count for the same amount of raffle tickets (1) but writing something funny for everyone to enjoy doesn't hurt!

Last Raffle: Anonymous Positivity Raffle

See details on what the last prompt was and what were the prizes in this post!

Gimeurcookie · 03-31-2017, 07:07 PM

Redux Opening Raffle

The Redux is finally coming to town, and while it's only half way through Game 0 it's finally ready to open to the public. To start things off things are getting raffled off including 6 prizes that were generously donated!

End date: You have until 4/7 to enter in to the raffle! Any entries after that will not be counted. The raffle drawing will be done live in a stream on the 8th.

Current entry prompt
To enter just post your list, as well as 1 sentence to 1 paragraph about why you love Lechugaa's company "Chu Chu Meat Cocoons." Don't know what that is? Great! Just pretend like you know what it is and tell us all the fictional reasons why you love Chu Chu Meat Cocoons.

Prizes

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Dragonfly · 03-31-2017, 08:01 PM

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As a goon of Chu Chu Meat Cocoons, I croon about the meaty boon in the late of June. I strewn my tune across the desert dunes at noon, while ladies swoon and gather a commune until the full moon. I must prune away this platoon, for soon I wish consume a monsoon of Chu Chu Meat Cocoons. When I reach upon the saloon, I shall pay a hefty doubloon to spoon and hewn these Cocoons, even if they make my look like a loon buffoon; For soon I would be attuned with a lagoon of Chu Chu Meat Cocoons. No one can be immune to the meat typhoon that Chu Chu Meat Cocoons dragoon.

~~LoverIan~~ · 03-31-2017, 08:30 PM

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Now let me tell you about Chu Chu Meat Cocoons, they freaking saved my life man. I was in a really bad spot, but this band saved my life because the lyrics spoke to the depth of my soul. That and the lead singer was really freaking hot. Wait you're talking about a food chain? I do think I met a Heredoggo who ate only those once, and it must be something special for one to devote their life to eating.

~~Clockwork Dragon~~ · 03-31-2017, 10:32 PM

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Chu Chu Meat Cocoons! They're food for sure! I love eating the Chu Chu Meat Cocoons! I couldn't live without Chu Chu Meat Cocoons! Buy them now from your local Chu Chu Meat Cocoons store!
Thank you for using the trial version of Advert Generator Pro™ 3017. If you'd like the clean audio, please buy the full version.

nonexistentPumpkin · 04-01-2017, 02:38 AM

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Chu-Chu meat Cocoons are a wonderful treat, at home or on the... What? Just be honest? Alright, if you're sure... I have no idea how Chu-Chu Meat Cocoons taste, I'm silk intolerant, but I've bought thousands of the things. Why? The mascot. The little fluffy cartoon didaskaloi is just the absolute cutest. I cut 'em out of the packaging and put 'em all over my walls. Sure, I could just print out an image off the net over and over, but with the cost of printer ink these days it's actually cheaper to buy the cocoons. 10/10 would mascot again.

Robust Laser · 04-01-2017, 10:12 AM

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i bought a pack of chu chu meat cocoons and instead they sent me ten thousand spiders which embedded themselves into me and made my body their new home, but they're friendly enough and they give me good advice at video games so i suppose i recommend

Dorsidwarf · 04-01-2017, 04:58 PM

Item #: SCP-285-F

Object class: Delicious

Special containment procedures: Instances of SCP-285-F-1 are to be intercepted by MTF-285-F “Bargain Buy” and brought to the containment facility at Site 49.
Instances must be stored in a locked refrigerated container when not undergoing testing in order to prevent premature degeneration of the items.

Research on SCP-285-F is to be carried out only on D-class under armed guard.

Description:
SCP-285-F is a brand of edible food products known as “Chu Chu Meat Cocoons”. The brand is a type of individually-wrapped finger-length sticks of an unknown meat, encased in a thick, latex-like webbing. This webbing has been experimentally determined to be both chemically identical to spider’s silk and “of deeply confusing taste” according to containment teams. When asked to clarify, they responded that they “Couldn’t quite place the flavor” and refused to elaborate.

SCP-285-F’s anomalous properties manifest when at least one (1) of the sticks, referred to as SCP-285-F-1, is removed from its plastic wrapping and placed within an active microwave oven. SCP-285-F-1 instances will not, as expected, become hot, but will instead slowly bloat and change color from off-white to a rich brown.
D-class testing involving activated instances of SCP-285-F-1 resulted in reports that the activated form was “The best-tasting thing I ever had” and “Excellent value!”. Subjects repeatedly insisted that researchers “Have some of this too”, and several became agitated when this offer was declined by staff. These effects were found not to occur in instances which had not undergone the activation procedure.

Within 3 days of consuming an active instance of SCP-285-F-1, subjects will experience rapid-onset mass organ failure, resulting in near-immediate death. 4-5 hours after death, the chest cavity of the deceased subject will neatly open and unfold, revealing several 20-pack boxes of SCP-285-F-1.

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Addenendum SCP-285-F-A:
Advertising material found in flyers addressed to researchers involved in study of SCP-285-F:

Quote:Now let me tell you about Chu Chu Meat Cocoons, they freaking saved my life man. I was in a really bad spot, but this band saved my life because the lyrics spoke to the depth of my soul. That and the lead singer was really freaking hot. Wait you're talking about a food chain? I do think I met a Heredoggo who ate only those once, and it must be something special for one to devote their life to eating.

Quote:Chu-Chu meat Cocoons are a wonderful treat, at home or on the... What? Just be honest? Alright, if you're sure... I have no idea how Chu-Chu Meat Cocoons taste, I'm silk intolerant, but I've bought thousands of the things. Why? The mascot. The little fluffy cartoon didaskaloi is just the absolute cutest. I cut 'em out of the packaging and put 'em all over my walls. Sure, I could just print out an image off the net over and over, but with the cost of printer ink these days it's actually cheaper to buy the cocoons. 10/10 would mascot again.

Quote:Chu Chu Meat Cocoons! They're food for sure! I love eating the Chu Chu Meat Cocoons! I couldn't live without Chu Chu Meat Cocoons! Buy them now from your local Chu Chu Meat Cocoons store!
Thank you for using the trial version of Advert Generator Pro™ 3017. If you'd like the clean audio, please buy the full version.

Typewritten note in letter addressed to level-4 researcher Dr. █████████ █████████.

Quote:As a goon of Chu Chu Meat Cocoons, I croon about the meaty boon in the late of June. I strewn my tune across the desert dunes at noon, while ladies swoon and gather a commune until the full moon. I must prune away this platoon, for soon I wish consume a monsoon of Chu Chu Meat Cocoons. When I reach upon the saloon, I shall pay a hefty doubloon to spoon and hewn these Cocoons, even if they make my look like a loon buffoon; For soon I would be attuned with a lagoon of Chu Chu Meat Cocoons. No one can be immune to the meat typhoon that Chu Chu Meat Cocoons dragoon.

Note written in shaky biro handwriting, pushed under fire escape door at Site-49:

Quote:i bought a pack of chu chu meat cocoons and instead they sent me ten thousand spiders which embedded themselves into me and made my body their new home, but they're friendly enough and they give me good advice at video games so i suppose i recommend

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Athena · 04-03-2017, 04:14 AM

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Chu-Chu Meat Cocoons cleared my skin, cured my mental illnesses, introduced me to the love of my life and gave me the intuition to guess the lucky numbers I scratched in as I ate one and I now live in a four-story manor with a gate, two pools, a hot tub, and a well-maintained hedge maze. Since the day I first tried them, things have done nothing but look up!

* Chu-Chu Meat Cocoons holds no legal liability for non-identical effects in consumers. Testifying consumer reported an extreme increase in CHA and LCK stats. Chu-Chu Meat Cocoons' guarantee is a notable stat boost or decrease in one or more stats or your money back.

~~cmdrcade~~ · 04-03-2017, 05:26 PM

1)Get whatever you want
2)Be a character in Laser's comic
3)10 Fortuna buttons
4)Rebel Galaxy
5)Ryse

Chu-Chu meat cocoons helped me in almost every way possible! The first time I ate them a man came up and offered me a bushiness proposal to promote new weight loss methods! I got my college diploma for pennies a day, and found miracle pills that cure space melanoma! I started a small business with a lifetime supply of free ink and toner, and got a neat replica watch with a custom inscription! And all of this was because I ate a Chu-Chu meat cocoon!
Events that occurred above may be in no way related to the consumption of a Chu-Chu meat cocoon.

Fellow · 04-04-2017, 06:41 PM

Chu-chu meat cocoons has been the defibrillator that gave a reanimating shock to my long dead love life. I love meeting the cocoons and Chu-chu's are definitely the hottest, singlest cocoons in my area. Yes. Yes I would reccomend them. *Eat* the cocoons? Holy cow man, you should see a psychologist about that.

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awkwardcarapace · 04-05-2017, 02:43 PM

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Chu-chu meat cocoons? I - I mean, what can I say that hasn't already been said? The packaging, not only is it aesthetically pleasing and almost perfect in every way, shape or form, but who could forget the classic ChuChu advertisements jingle? Oh man, I swear, watching that ad is a part of my daily schedule. And yes - who could forget the taste? The thick, meaty taste coupled with the crispy texture... unforgettable. I actually think I had an out-of-body experience the first time I ate a Chu-chu meat cocoon? I'm not exactly sure what happened there.

DS Piron · 04-06-2017, 05:13 AM

In the year 8250, Lechuuga started a new business enterprise in the field of creation and steet selling of ready to eat meat products. Chu-chu meat cocoons proceeded to take off and today are a largely profitable enterprise. These 'meat cocoons' represent the modern issue of stealing other's work and passing it off as one own, best evidenced by the casing around the meat itself. The meat within represent the media: News broadcasts, pamphlets, streaming series, card game, swan, and peafowl, as they are consumed by the public. The closing argument reminds the reader that the two chief exports of Bananas are Banana, and God Feels.

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~~Hermes~~ · 04-07-2017, 03:59 AM

Are you tired of boring, regular cocoons?

Do you get hungry sometimes?

Do you just wish there was a better way?

WELL NOW THERE IS.

Chu Chu Meat Cocoons™ are the greatest meat cocoons on the market! Made with real meat*, they're sure to satisfy. Why settle for actual food? BOOORING. Eating just isn't fun unless you run the risk of cannibalism!

"But wait," you say, hand down your pants and unwashed cheese dusted fingers on the remote. "Why should I listen to you? I would rather hear the same thing from likeminded customers of a similar intelligence level to myself." WELL BOY ARE YOU GONNA LOVE THIS NEXT PART. Just listen to these satisfied customers!

"CHU CHU MEAT COCOONS ARE LIFE. I DONT KNOW HOW I LIVED BEFORE. I EAT CHU CHU MEAT COCOONS FOR EVERY MEAL AND IM IN THE GREATEST SHAPE OF MY LIFE."

"I love Chu Chu Meat Cocoons, and I am of the female demographic."

"meat... so much meat.... I'm sweating meat..."

now those are some happy, meat filled mouths if I've ever heard any! Are you really still sitting there, meatless and cocoonless?? Get down to your nearest MEAT store and force 18 of them into your gob at once!!! Go!!!!

*Meat is used as a general term.

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CHU CHUUUU! There's a train pulling into the station and it's loaded with fresh, hot, delicious flavor! All aboard for Chu Chu Meat Cocoons, the most exciting innovation in food-like products since aerosol cheese.

We ALL crave the sweet siren song of emulsified, formed, pressed, dyed, pasteurized, homogenized, irradiated meat-product slurry, but it's so messy! That's where Chu Chu Meat scientists went to work to use nature's perfect container of carrion slurry, THE COCOON!

Now thousands of these delicious, "nutritious", pods of mouth-watering goodness can travel great distances to arrive at your front door in unmarked, unrefrigerated burlap sacks.

"What are those?" Your only friend will ask, as you cram our Meat Cocoons into your sparsely toothed maw with both hands. You should get new friends, because that one askes too many questions.

You can use Chu Chu Meat Cocoons to grease machinery, clean rust off steel, weed your garden, ward off predators, cut vegetables, scrub toilets, and they're still hot and ready to eat! Special dietary concerns are NOT A PROBLEM! Chu Chu Meat Cocoons are Gluten free, soy free, lactose free, sugar free, preservative free, meat free, and hypoallergenic; perfect for the diabetic-lactose intolerant-Vegan with Celia's disease and an autoimmune deficiency in your life!

Can they please your wife? BETTER! Leave your wife and marry Chu Chu Meat Cocoons! They won't judge you. STOP READING, YOU COULD BE EATING!

(Second infomercial blurb is courtesy of my father)

PRIZES:
1. Pony Island
2. The Stanley Parable
3. Just get whatever you want
4. FTL
5. Be a character in Lasers comic

Gimeurcookie · 04-07-2017, 04:04 AM

Raffle has been moved back a day because my car is awful.

You have one more day to join and the drawing will be on the 8th.

Gimeurcookie · 04-08-2017, 09:46 PM

THE ROLLS WERE DONE, AND HERE ARE OUR LUCKY WINNERS IN THE ORDER THEY WERE ROLLED! PLEASE PM ME TO GET YOUR PRIZE! The portal prize will be rolled over in to next raffle!

OPEN PRIZES
__________________________

★ Portal 1 and 2

TAKEN PRIZES
__________________________

★ Sponsored by Chu-Chu Cocoon, "Just get whatever you want" Prize! BY LASER
★ Sponsored by Chu-Chu Cocoon, "Just get whatever you want" Prize! BY IAN
★ Pony Island BY AC

★ 10 Fortuna Buttons BY FLOWER
★ Game 0 Fortuna Poster* BY DS
★ The Stanley Parable BY HERMES
★ Rebel Galaxy BY DRAGONFLY

★ Broforce BY FELLOW
★ FTL BY PUMPKIN
★ Be a character in Laser's comic BY DORF
★ Fallout: New Vegas CLOCKWORK
★ Ryse BY CMD

Gimeurcookie · 06-07-2017, 04:56 PM

Loading screen Raffle

The Redux is in town and it's enjoying it's stay. With pages being worked in the background and many loading screens popping up, it seems we have a little issue, we only have a pool of about 20 loading screen tips and there's a good chance of seeing a tip you already saw! Lets change that.

End date: You have until 6/16 to enter in to the raffle! Any entries after that will not be counted. The raffle drawing will be done live in a stream on the 17th.

Current entry prompt
To enter just make a short[ piece of loading text! Please do not make it too long or else it will be unable to fit in the text box!

Basically give us some piece of wisdom, what do YOU think new Fortuna players should know about? To see an example of the loading screen please see this page in the redux.

Feel free to have fun with this prompt! Jokes are welcomed and even if your entry can't be used in loading screens, it will still count as an entry.

Note, you can only get 1 entry to win a prize, but you're free to submit more loading screen tips than that if you would like to see your tips used in the loading screen. (And yes, any loading screen tip submitted, that can work will be put in to the pull of tips that will actually show up in the redux!)

Prizes

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Robust Laser · 06-07-2017, 05:13 PM

Never rely on luck where you could rely on skill. Then again, who needs skill when you can just be lucky?

oh yeah and just put me in for another meat coccon

Crunch · 06-07-2017, 05:56 PM

Text Raffle:
-Be sure to treat all of your crew well! you never know if they could show up in a future game!

-Almost everything you may come across has a use! you simply have to think about the scenario from a different angle to find it!

-Progress does not come without sacrifice. It's highly unlikely you can save every last person you see. but that doesn't mean you can't try!

Raffle Prize:
Chu Chu Meat Coccoon (owo;)

~~cmdrcade~~ · 06-07-2017, 06:05 PM

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Prize list:

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Arcanuse · 06-07-2017, 07:59 PM

Text Raffle
Miracles DO happen, believe it or not. Even in the worst case scenario, you might just get lucky. Don't count on it, but leverage it when it does happen. Some of your crew just might survive yet.

A Chu-Chu meat cocoon sounds pretty nice.

TangledAlmond · 06-07-2017, 08:49 PM

Loading Screen Tips:

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Prize:
Sponsored by Chu-Chu Cocoon, "Just get whatever you want" Prize!

I love coming up with these so expect more in the near future maybe probably

~~Clockwork Dragon~~ · 06-07-2017, 08:52 PM

Entry Wrote:LoadingTip42.txt not found.

More entries, just for fun:

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Prize List

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TangledAlmond · 06-07-2017, 10:23 PM

Today on Fortuna, Almond submits so many more tooltips:

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LammarWesley · 06-07-2017, 10:45 PM

Quote:Thanatos are harmless, you do not need to fear them! - Famous last words.

Quote:Sometimes when Nemesis ships are badly damaged, their crew members start to get the desire to destroy space tunas instead of Fortuna. This is extremely embarrasing for everyone involved.

Quote:Several tourists die every year by attacks of several types of fauna, one of which looks exactly like bread, but is not bread. Be afraid of bread, do not eat bread.

★ Sponsored by Chu-Chu Cocoon, "Just get whatever you want" Prize!

Only a talksprite would be nice.