Issue Investigator

Your name is Douglas Egglestein, or something. You are a master detective and you must infiltrate the secret hideout of the bad guys. Unfortunately, you have no idea where the bad guys are!
what do?

> PUNCH DOWN THAT DOOR.

>Have a nice little chat with the door.

walk right like belong there

>Have a nice little chat with the door.

You aren't doing that. You're hard boiled, not crazy!
> PUNCH DOWN THAT DOOR.
You dont have the upper body strength for that, so you kick that door open!


You are now inside the bar.
The place smells vaguely of butts and dead people.
What do you do?

> Kick down the stool.

>Ask the Barmun if he's see any bad guys.

>Throw your hat at the guy!

swing from the chandelier and kick the barman in the face and then realize you don't know how to get down from the chandelier

Stub butts and interrogate the dead

>hop around on one leg. That raised foot never again shall know the floor

>Ask the Barmun if he's see any bad guys.

You scoot on over to the barmun, and start asking a few questions.
"Excuse me sir, but have you seen any bad dudes around here?"

The barman grunts and pulls out a list.


You need to find these 3 men.
>Throw your hat at the guy!

You wouldn't do that!
Thats the only thing keeping the brain tentacles in!

>Point out that the bar guy look exactly like all those guys on the poster. Arrest him!

> Name brain tentacles Brian.

>Point out that the bar guy look exactly like all those guys on the poster. Arrest him!

You clear your throat and point at one of the guys on the list.
"Excuse me, is this you?"
The barman shakes his head.
Welp! There goes your first lead.
>hop around on one leg. That raised foot never again shall know the floor

You decide to hop about on the floor, untill suddenly the floor caves in on you.


You are now in the secret cave.
Which way do you go?

>Go left, that's always the right way to go!

Go the rightiest way the way that rights the right way right away I write I say. And that way is... left.

your right (our left)

>Go left, that's always the right way to go!
You quickly hop to the left, not noticing how similar this room is to the previous one.

You find a treasure chest!
Open it?

hit it gently with a stick to see if it's a mimic

>Heckie Yeah!

>No, wield it as your weapon!

> hit it gently with a stick to see if it's a mimic
You dont have a stick, so you do what you're best at and kick it!


You've found the fabled dagger of Shapofanel!
You place it in your inventory and quickly go back to the main room.


What to do now?

>Lick the text above you.

> RELEASE THE BRAIN TENTACLES AT THE BAD GUY