[YOU]: [FORTUNA] Fan Adventure

> Drown Hermes in flat soda.

> The best question might be: "How?!" Actually, no. "How do I escape this?" is better, but "How (did this happen?)" is probably closer at hand.

> Soooooo like....how do you get your soul back in to your body, do you need to get to Fortuna to make a wish or are you really stuck in here forever?

>So how do I escape the game? I can break the fourth wall, that's a start at least!

>Ask about the current player.

> Oh! You remembered that there should be other players here too! Ask Hermes if he knows about the other players, can you go hang with them and cry about this situation or something?

Hermes leaps to attack you but you manage to dodge in time!

Welp, Hermes is faster than anyone so...

> Summon soda and throw it at his dumb face!

> Then you can....um....have more time for....screaming?

> Throw your pride through a window and beg for mercy from Hermes as you run.

>but isn'the two heads better than one?
>but if he really won't listen to reason...
>DROWN HIM IN THE FIZZY LIFTING DRINKS

>Tell Hermes *everything* you know about soda and bore him to sleep.

> Hey, while you're at it, why don't you see what cool features your new robot body can do? I'm sure those digitigrade legs are good for something.

>Defend yourself with soda geyser to the face.

>Persuade Hermes with unlimited refills

> Make the ground slick with soda so he can't run.

> TIME TO KILL HERMES
And I don't mean the one in the game...
Okay, I do, but let's be honest, more death equals more fun

> Test out power while running, can you control where the soda appears...?

(Click for sweet tunes!)

> Throw your pride through a window and beg for mercy from Hermes as you run.

> Summon soda and throw it at his dumb face!

>DROWN HIM IN THE FIZZY LIFTING DRINKS

>Defend yourself with soda geyser to the face.

> Test out power while running, can you control where the soda appears...?

In an act of desperation, you decide to test out your power. You fling your arm with all your might and get soda all over Hermes's screen! He shakes off and keeps running at you though because what hi-tec robot wouldn't be spill proof. Welp.

> Hey, while you're at it, why don't you see what cool features your new robot body can do? I'm sure those digitigrade legs are good for something.

It's no use running. Hermes is way too fast! You stand your ground and wait for him to get close enough and then you (do a really cool backflip and) kick him square in his stupid face! Hermes turns tail and flees in terror of your might! That's... pretty surprising, really. But you'll take it.

> And just who might you be?

> Throw soda at this newcomer's face with a high-pitched screech of animal robot fear.

> KILL IT

> Did some self insert garbage just call you self insert garbage? Freaking do your scary kick flip at them, maybe that'll put them in their place.

Edit: > Self insert trope: Be annoying author self insert.

That is.. Meta.

>Oh, so you're who Hermes was running from.

>That must mean you're a...

>Gime: God killer, yes.

>...

>...

>WELP, TIME TO RUN AGAIN!

>Persuade with unlimited refills

>[getting gradually closer to the unknown gator bot]: hey. hey. hey pal. hey. *do a piledriver on the robot for calling you a rude name*

Please let this happen, oh my gosh.

> Choo: Well, YOU'RE... self, inert... garbage.
> ???: Damn straight I am.

>[getting gradually closer to the unknown gator bot]: hey. hey. hey pal. hey. *do a piledriver on the robot for calling you a rude name*

Please let this happen, oh my gosh.

>GET KEKKED YOU CROCODOOFUS

>WELP, TIME TO RUN AGAIN!

Unless they happen to be an EXTREME SODA AFICIONADO, I think we're good.