Space Opera - The Drip Chronicles

Originally posted on MSPA by Archduke_Ferdinand.

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>Toss the WITHERED FRIENDSHIP BLOOM at the BEAST OF BURDEN as a gesture of peace.

Originally posted on MSPA by thriggle.

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>Toss the WITHERED FRIENDSHIP BLOOM at the BEAST OF BURDEN as a gesture of peace.

You toss the BLOSSOM toward the BEAST through one of the gaps in the CRUDE BARRIER, hoping to win the monster's friendship.


The BEAST OF BURDEN seems to have fully awoken from its gentle slumber, raising its tender EYESTALKS to glare at you from beneath its ARMORED CARAPACE.
(Click "Show" to continue.)

SpoilerShow

The BEAST reacts negatively to having objects thrown in its direction.

You now know the true meaning of fear.

Originally posted on MSPA by Warden Notes.

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> Attack BEAST OF BURDEN with LARVAE-RIDDEN ORANGE YARMULKA.

Originally posted on MSPA by MultiFunctional.

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> Do nothing. The BEAST is on the other side of the impenetrable BARRIER. You're perfectly safe. In fact, taunt it some more, just for laughs.

Originally posted on MSPA by Sytakan.

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>Fling the strange Altar at the beast!

Originally posted on MSPA by thriggle.

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> Do nothing. The BEAST is on the other side of the impenetrable BARRIER. You're perfectly safe. In fact, taunt it some more, just for laughs.

You shake off your initial fear, confident that this CRUDE BARRIER will protect you from the mindless BEAST-OF-BURDEN. You even do a sassy dance to prove to yourself that you are unafraid.

The beast is clearly angered.

> Attack BEAST OF BURDEN with LARVAE-RIDDEN ORANGE YARMULKA.

The YARMULKA was pretty gross anyway. You fling it BEAST-ward.


The BEAST appears enraged by this!

>Fling the strange Altar at the beast!

Time to step it up a notch. You heft the PRIMITIVE ALTAR and throw it as hard as you can, considering your limitations.

(Click "Show" to continue.)

SpoilerShow

The ALTAR loudly smashes into the CRUDE BARRIER.

The CRUDE BARRIER has been slain.

The BEAST approacheth.

Originally posted on MSPA by Warden Notes.

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> Flatten STRANGE ALTAR'S LID and throw at BEAST of BURDEN.

Originally posted on MSPA by Cactuseater.

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Make like a tree and GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE

Originally posted on MSPA by Sytakan.

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> Flatten STRANGE ALTAR'S LID and throw at BEAST of BURDEN.

Seconded.

Originally posted on MSPA by Not A Ninja.

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>Cover self in ASSORTED FILTH to try and make BEAST-OF-BURDEN disgusted enough to leave you alone.

Originally posted on MSPA by Not The Author.

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Make like a tree and

Kill Everything!!!


Cactuseater is clearly unaquainted with the Flora on this planet.

In the meantime, > Let's check up on Nigel.

Originally posted on MSPA by thriggle.

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> Flatten STRANGE ALTAR'S LID and throw at BEAST of BURDEN.

No longer armed with your adorable BARBARIAN DOLL, ORANGE, or WITHERED FRIENDSHIP BLOSSOM, you decide to use this planet's own scenery against it! Wishing you had the time and ability to flatten it into a more dangerous weapon, you seize the lid (or possibly the Mercy Seat) of the PRIMITIVE ALTAR to throw at the approaching BEAST OF BURDEN.

The BEAST catches the ALTAR COVER in its GAPING MAW!

At least it will buy you some time as the BEAST chews over your latest retort.

>Cover self in ASSORTED FILTH to try and make BEAST-OF-BURDEN disgusted enough to leave you alone.

A-HA! Your superior cunning leads you to put FILTH on your head in order to protect yourself.

Brilliant! You hope that it's mostly Easter grass.

Make like a tree and GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE

You think to yourself: trees have long lives. What would they do in a situation like this? This line of thought reminds you of your good and only friend Nigel, helplessly FERAL in the wilderness of this SAVAGE WORLD. You mustn't die now! Nigel needs you!

You activate your ROCKET SHOES and acquire the FLYING Action Trait, as well as the BLINDED Action Trait at 25% effectiveness, as moldy spaghetti partially obscures the visor of your SPACE SUIT.

Stay tuned, Space Opera fans! There'll be a NIGEL UPDATE when we return!
<qeue commercial break>

(Probably the last update of the day, but by all means, keep pumping out suggestions!)

Originally posted on MSPA by Not A Ninja.

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Nigel: >Ever since that small Drip had abandoned you here in the wild, you've had to fend for yourself... and things have been going well. Use PHOTOSYNTHESIS to speed up your FERAL growth.

Originally posted on MSPA by thriggle.

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Nigel: >Ever since that small Drip had abandoned you here in the wild, you've had to fend for yourself... and things have been going well. Use PHOTOSYNTHESIS to speed up your FERAL growth.

Meanwhile...

The FERAL NIGEL has been soaking up sunshine and growing ever more SAVAGE and FERAL.


You are now the FERAL NIGEL. You have vague recollections of being uprooted by an EVIL DRIP who brought you to his SPACE VESSEL and then dropped it on you. You seem to recall him shooting you in the eye with a ZAP GUN, but your memory of that is quite hazy. For reasons you cannot explain, you know you once felt unparalleled affection for this DRIP, though now all you feel is BETRAYAL and RAGE.

Originally posted on MSPA by Cactuseater.

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Nigel - examine surroundings.

Originally posted on MSPA by Odinod.

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> Suddenly feel a chill, as though someone, somewhere, is hating your guts right now. Make a HARDCORE PROMISE to yourself to REGAIN NIGEL'S FRIENDSHIP, no matter what the cost.

Originally posted on MSPA by Warden Notes.

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> Nigel: NIGEL is such a horrible name for you. Rename yourself WESLEY

"The Princess Bride" joke - "Dread Pirate Wesley"

Originally posted on MSPA by thriggle.

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> Nigel: NIGEL is such a horrible name for you. Rename yourself WESLEY

You refuse to go by the SLAVE NAME given to you by that TRAITOROUS DRIP!

You are mean! You are green! You are WESLEY, and you shall have your REVENGE!

> Suddenly feel a chill, as though someone, somewhere, is hating your guts right now. Make a HARDCORE PROMISE to yourself to REGAIN NIGEL'S FRIENDSHIP, no matter what the cost.

The dreadful spectre of a life without Nigel's friendship is bad enough as it is, but Bob somehow gets the sensation that Nigel's affection has turned to BITTER HATRED due to the missing FRIENDSHIP BLOSSOM.

He feels compelled to make an OATH to the ancient SPACE GODS that he will REGAIN NIGEL'S FRIENDSHIP (blossom)!

Back to Nigel...

Nigel - examine surroundings.

You lift a leafy frond to shield your GREEN EYE from the setting sun as you survey your domain.
(Click "Show" to continue.)

SpoilerShow

You see little of interest.


...Although it would appear that some NATIVE ANIMALS have taken an interest in the downed SPACE VESSEL.

Originally posted on MSPA by RedMage.

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Nigel: Enter a FURIOUS rage demanding the DRIP whom had enslaved you! Devour all who fail to do so.

Originally posted on MSPA by Archduke_Ferdinand.

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Wesley: Observe their reactions to the space vessel, seeing their reactions to other species. If they react positively, attempt to communicate peacefully. If not, begin plans for ESCAPE/WAR. None shall defeat you. Not ever again.

Originally posted on MSPA by thriggle.

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Nigel: Enter a FURIOUS rage demanding the DRIP whom had enslaved you! Devour all who fail to do so.

You cry out in FURY, threatening the NATIVE ANIMALS and surrounding VEGETATION, demanding that your NEMESIS be brought before you to face your EXTREMELY PREJUDICIAL JUSTICE!


However, you don't appear to have grown any lungs and are unable to do more than rustle menacingly.
This is unsettling, as you distinctly remember SAVAGELY "RARR"-ING some time in the distant recesses of your memory.

Wesley: Observe their reactions to the space vessel, seeing their reactions to other species. If they react positively, attempt to communicate peacefully. If not, begin plans for ESCAPE/WAR. None shall defeat you. Not ever again.

You doubt that you will be able to communicate with the NATIVE ANIMALS, but decide to observe them anyway.

One particular group of the NATIVE ANIMALS, wielding SIGNS and wearing TINFOIL helmets, appears to be reacting quite negatively to the presence of the SPACE VESSEL. The others seem but NONPLUSSED to your vegetable sense of empathy.

Originally posted on MSPA by Archduke_Ferdinand.

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Bob: Run. Run so far away.

Wesley/Nigel: Photosynthesize harder, and absorb nutrients from surrounding soil using the REMAINS OF THE THREE EYED MONSTER'S DIGESTIVE SYSTEM still remaining in your root system.

Originally posted on MSPA by thriggle.

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Wesley/Nigel: Photosynthesize harder, and absorb nutrients from surrounding soil using the REMAINS OF THE THREE EYED MONSTER'S DIGESTIVE SYSTEM still remaining in your root system.

You decide to deal with your VENGEANCE problem the way you deal with most problems. By PHOTOSYNTHESIZING.

Unfortunately, the sunlight is waning and your PHOTOSYNTHESIS Action Trait auto-deactivates. Your Energy Reserves are nearly full anyway, but if you can catch something and eat it, the ACID in your digestive ROOT SYSTEM will break most things down into nourishment.

It occurs to you that this is probably one of those problems that can't be dealt with photosynthetically, and may instead call for the use of your skills.

For reference:

SpoilerShow

Originally posted on MSPA by Archduke_Ferdinand.

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>Wesley: Let's BLOOMICATE. You've been preparing for this.

Originally posted on MSPA by thriggle.

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>Wesley: Let's BLOOMICATE. You've been preparing for this.

You prepare to use your dreaded BLOOMICATE skill.

What type of BLOSSOM do you wish to BLOOMICATE?