[NOCTURNAL STIRRINGS] ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ M.A.F.I.A ☆ [24/25]

Once upon a time, Tlaca-Ica got really high and watched the cover of Dark Side Of The Moon while listening to The Wizard Of Oz, when it occurred to him that people were just like light. To test this hypothesis he picked one random dude, who just happened to be the dude who created the fictional character of Tlaca-Ica for Godhood XIV: Team Syrup, fragmented his identity into 25 different variations on his internal personage, and put them in a city together, called Chwokolate City.

Chwokolate City lived together, lived together in perfect harmony for 2 weeks and 3 days — finally, a land where a man could be a man and also the same man, where race, creed, gender, ability, and/or etcetera couldn't be used to discriminate. That is, until it suddenly devolved into murder chaos overnight! At daybreak, a corpse was found in the middle of the city, knife in its back, and on closer inspection of that self-same back-side, a tramp stamp was found. It read:

Chwoka was a gameplay construct whose only purpose was to die before the game actually started. He would win if he died. He was also THE GRAVESLAMMER: He was harmless to most when alive, but gained the ability to graveslam a post each day with an appropriate multimedia accompaniment post-mortem.

Jesus, what a wordy tramp stamp!

"This corpse was a murder corpse!" gasped out the Chwoka plunging their fingers deep inside the knife wound.

"But who could have done it!?" hollered another Chwoka, prone to flights of panic.

"I think it was Chwoka!" said Chwoka.

"Jesus, what a wordy tramp stamp!" cried out one Chwoka from the crowd of two-dozen-odd.

"Too long, didn't read!" agreed another Chwoka, nodding vigorously.

One Chwoka, clearly the charismatic community leader type, stood on a shoebox to elevate themselves above the equally-beheighted crowd. "Let's form a lynch mob and hang the scum who did this!"

"You're only suggesting that 'cause you're in the pocket of Big Rope!" called out another Chwoka.

"Yeah, let's lynch that guy!"

"Lynch Hitler!"

"We should hold a vote!"

"We should just kill everybody, damn it to heaven!"

"Majority or Plurality?"

"Majority!" said the majority.

"What about decimal place numbers, should we round them?" voice-jism'd a lone Chwoka.

"NO, THAT MAKES TOO MUCH FUCKING SENSE!" exclaimed the chorus of Chwokas. The Chworus.

And just like that, the game was afoot... [1]

Livelist, D1

1. Chwoka
   
2. Chwoka
   
3. Chwoka
   
4. Chwoka
   
5. Chwoka
   
6. Chwoka
   
7. Chwoka
   
8. Chwoka
   
9. Chwoka
   
10. Chwoka
    
11. Chwoka
    
12. Chwoka
    
13. Chwoka
    
14. Chwoka
    
15. Chwoka
    
16. Chwoka
    
17. Chwoka
    
18. Chwoka
    
19. Chwoka
    
20. Chwoka
    
21. Chwoka
    
22. Chwoka
    
23. Chwoka
    
24. Chwoka
    

With 24 Chwokas alive, it takes 12.5 to lynch, or 6.5 to soft lynch.

[1] ...note! [2]
[2] (That would have been a great pun if this was Murder By The Book.)

Gosh golly!
Well, I'd like to nominate post #100 for lynching; by virtue of being a nice landmark sort of number.
Looking at it now, it also seems to be some-chwoka trying to promote a BORING FORMS agenda! Boo!!

Wait, I'm confused. The intro post says 24 Chwokas but the thread title says 25.

This is a clear sign of a conspiracy, and obviously the last Chwoka to post is responsible for it. Vote #127

THIS POST HAS BEEN HIT WITH A BASEBALL!

MY FORMS ARE INFORMATIONAL AND NOT BORING

LOADING FORM C.2

OFFICIAL CHWOKA FORM
NAME:
AGE:
ARE YOU CHWOKA:
DO YOU HAVE A TRAMP STAMP FETISH:
ARE YOU MAFIA:

OFFICIAL CHWOKA FORM
NAME: Chwoka
AGE: 2 weeks 3 days and a bit
ARE YOU CHWOKA: Obvs
DO YOU HAVE A TRAMP STAMP FETISH: NO YOU
ARE YOU MAFIA: No

Also vote post 129 for not filling in it's own form.

Chwokas who don't post are cowardly bum noises who are also missing the fact that we, the active and wonderful Chwokas, can just call on posts from before the daystart to get them anyway.

How will we know which Chwokas have yet to respond, however?

I suggest we just lynch them all in sequence.

Where's your vote, then?

Vote #133 for HYPOCRISY.

Ah yes, Quite!

And thus I shall Vote: Post #62, for even with the rhymes he is the first chwoka to arrive and thus must be the first chwoka to be lynched, being that it would be rude not to as he was first in line for the lynchings.

@133, I had to go back to check on who the first chwoka to post was.

This is kind of a nice approach, yeah. If the Chwoka being targeted is actually being active, alllll they gotta do is keep being active and speak up instead of letting themselves be unceremoniously killed off! Vote: #62

Vote: Post #127 for hating on the number 100. What's it ever done to you? We don't even have 100 posts yet!

Jeez, some Chwokas...

CHWOTALS

#62 - 2
#127 - 1
#129 - 1
#133 - 1

With 24 Chwokas alive, it takes 12.5 to lynch or 6.5 to soft lynch.

Chwot? The game has started? Vote #140 DEATH TO CHWOKA!

fuck it im voting the first chwoka to have ever existed. vote: #62. sorry, your limerick was dope, but i guess you stand out?

"The nail that sticks out the most gets hammered down." - Matt Smith AKA The Eleventh Doctor.

Also vote post 129 for not filling in it's own form.

I ALREADY HAVE MY FILE IN MY SYSTEM EXCUSE YOU.

RETRIEVING FILE C.3...

OFFICIAL CHWOKA FORM-ADMIN COPY
NAME:CHWOKA
AGE:100100110101
ARE YOU CHWOKA: OF COURSE
DO YOU HAVE A TRAMP STAMP FETISH: NO
ARE YOU MAFIA: NO

unvote #129 but if you fail to ad a unit to your age I'll take it as a prime reason to revote

vote #141 for bandwagoning.

Vote #143 for being the first to unvote.

Real Chwokas have dedication to original votes.

PUT YOUR VOTALS WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS

#62 - 3
#127 - 1
#133 - 1
#140 - 1
#141 - 1
#143 - 1

With 24 Chwokas alive, it takes 12.5 to lynch or 6.5 to soft lynch.

#130 + #143 confirmed to be the same person?? The first ones, too.

We should make a list of every time this happens.

Wait, now I want to test something.

Unvote #62.

Schazer and Chwoka can suck a bag of dicks
It's on their account that I'm posting in limericks
Though my role may be faulty
I'm not unreasonably salty
As, like others, it's come with some tricks

Wait, what am I saying, that's not what you're here to see
Let's turn on a chill beat and solve some mystery.
All you jealous Chwokas can sit back and look at me
I’ll give you the sickest lyrics that you’ll hear this century

Yo it’s Keynes on the beat, that’s Keynes I repeat
My theory of economics is core and complete
When you see the name you know the verse will be replete
With more fresh logic than a logician in the hot seat

Now the scum are effete, they think their posts are discrete
But with some reading I can suss them out, that’s my conceit
And so I’ll repeat - I’m Keynes and I’m elite
And my sick flow will make the scum beat a hasty retreat

So all you jealous other Chwokas can sit back and take a look at me
I’m giving you the sickest lyrics that you’ll hear this century.

Look back at pregame, when the thread needed a hero
There was only one logical post in a wasteland of zero
That was me, you can see, Daddy Keynes and his pedigree
To sort the killer from the miller and bring the town victory

But look at you all - once day starts you ignore it
And like sheep you start to bleat, man how I deplore it
The game had only begun when I already found a clue
And you want to lynch me instead? How thoughtless of you

So all you jealous other Chwokas just sit back and take a look at me
I’m giving you the sickest lyrics that you’ll hear this century.

Trying to fit in’s not a sin, well it’s not if you’re maf
They want to lay low, they can’t stand to show off
So you see a post that’s unique and starts to get your attention
If you vote for that post on my team, then you’ll earn a suspension

No, you gotta find the people that try not to show
The quiet little posts that say nothing and follow
An easy wagon to ride will do for them in a pinch
So grab a content free voter and give them a lynch

Now all you jealous other Chwokas are gonna follow along with me
While I lead us to the cleanest town sweep in Eagletime history.

Vote: #115

WHILE I RESPECT YOUR RAPPING SKILLS YOU USED THE WORD "OTHER JEALOUS CHWOKAS" IMPLYING I CAN BE JEALOUS. THAT IS FAULTY. ALSO YOU DIDN'T FILL OUT MY FORM.

VOTE #148

fuck it im voting the first chwoka to have ever existed. vote: #62. sorry, your limerick was dope, but i guess you stand out?

"The nail that sticks out the most gets hammered down." - Matt Smith AKA The Eleventh Doctor.

Why, this is UNACCEPTABLE. This Chwoka doesn't even have good reason to be bandwaggoning and is also not straight dope.

Not being straight dope is a lynchable offense in my book. Oh also this chwoka is sketchy.

VOTE CHWOKA 141

Next point of order: Establishing a Chwoka pronoun. Pronouns are all the rage in this day and age and I feel that we should be no exception. That would be an Issue.