Oh God Why: Day Three: IT'S LOOOOOOSE (18/30)

Gonna have to change this up a bit if I want to get this ghost out of my murderwolf.

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"You're the best dog in the world!"

"Your fur is lovely today!"

"It would be terrible if you were suddenly not a dog."

"Who is a good girl/boy? You are! You are!"

"You are so smart!"

"I'm impressed with your ability to copulate!"

"You are great at murdering things!"

"That is one stellar growl!"

"Who likes eating meat? Yes you do. Yes you do."

"You put Lassie to shame!"

I am happy with my vote too. Would lynch again.

Oh god what.

Wheat I think you need to cut yourself off.

I know I'm dead but jumping spiders are adorable and I will haunt your house/trailer/park bench if you disagree. Little girl ghosts can be really creepy, so I urge you to agree.

Gene

you're dead. Stop posting.

I have even less idea of what's going on than when the day started.

Oh my god. So that knife people have been voting? It looks like it has blood on it. BLOOD OF A PERSON. Oh my god. This knife killed someone. The blood on it is cold too, which means it killed them in cold blood. Oh my god. I am totally panicking now. What if this kills another person? If this knife isn't mafia, it's a serial killer or something. Lynch The Knife

I have even less idea of what's going on than when the day started.

Supposedly, there's a mafia game somewhere, but for the love of Godnoia, I can't find it.

hey bartender what if I can eat you

eat: bartender

mmmmm bartender flesh so delicious

guys problem solved, none of us get robbed

I am pretty sure there is no actual knife in this game and I kind of want to lynch people voting for something that doesn't exist.

I have even less idea of what's going on than when the day started.

DP and Wheat have entered into a drinking contest. Wheat has gotten wasted and revealed what everyone already knew: He's a regular bartender who wants to take our money.

The country of TOWNZIA (where the game is taking place) was previously under CIVIL WAR. This CIVIL WAR was going to be fought though the use of murderdogs, with each citizen getting their own dog and chance to breed it. During this time the citizens became attached to their dogs.

Then at the start of the day GRANOLAMAN made a grab for the murderdogs of the citizens of townzia. MALKYTOP appeared and started to protest this grab, but was assassinated. Shortly after, Granolaman revealed himself as some sort of evil-robot-making dognapper/neuterer and unleashed a hoard of neuterbots.

Meanwhile Paranoia was calling for a hero.

Most of the active citizens of townzia defended their murderdogs through a variety of means. I used the combined powers of THE ROCK and VAN DIESEL (the former of which got neutered and the latter then absconded with his eviscerated junk), Sruix built a fort, DF talked about the color Ube, and various players did various other things.

Granola also sent out NEUTERMECH no1. which was defeated by Surix's dog Peridot, and my dog Sapphire. Both dogs earned an evolution, but Surix opted out.

The dogs that weren't defended were then stolen by Granolaman.

Malky came back as a ghost.

Gene was kind of a dick.

I stole Malky's bones.

Wheat and DP kept drinking.

Granolaman reappeared with the captured dogs and started boasting about immortality and some nonsense in his new and improved NEUTERMECH. Gene died.

Sapphire evolved into a MURDERWOLF. Malky possessed her.

Paranioa declared MalkyWolf the "hero" he had been looking for. The civil war was effectively over because of the greater evil of granolaman.

Malky and Granola were going to duke it out.

Schazer talked a bunch of garbage about spiders.

Malky freaked out and ran away from the fight.

I said "ugh" a bunch and started to preform an exorsism on MalkyWolf by reading a book of complements.

Meanwhile people started to realize the deadline for the day was close and started making random lynches.

and now there's the sound of a muscle car driving up in the distance...wait what?

Or the TL;DR version of that: A lot of non-mafia stuff.

Would that muscle car happen to belong to Van diesel, the man with the van, the plan, and the eviscerated junk?

If you think the above isn't critically related to the mafia game then I'm afraid you are sorely mistaken.

Every action we take here has a consequence, just because we can't impact votes during the day, doesn't mean we can't impact people's actions at night. Not to mention, there have been surprise MURDERS and BOONS given out during these events, which clearly have an impact on the game proper. (not to mention a member of A mafia faction was killed, which means that there are two (probably 3 factions given the number of kills) and we've managed to whittle some of them down WHILE HAVING FUN.

It's clear that we won't have a lynch today. So we can either do nothing and wait for night (which please oh please if we have talking at night again lets not bitch and moan about how long it's taking)


wait...wait is that...

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OH MY GOD HE'S COMING BACK FOR OUR JUNK

HE'S THE REAL ENEMY EVERYONE HIDE

I have even less idea of what's going on than when the day started.

Schazer talked a bunch of garbage about spiders.

Btp you forgot the drinking contest

which surprisingly killed quite a few people.

the townzian civil war was a failure as NOBODY WON ANYTHING

the granola thing was okay I guess because we killed someone in a faction who was complaining

(but I can only imagine what it would be like if he didn't complain:

another event where no1 is lynched)

and now this

(i didn't count the evolving dog part because none of the dogs ACTUALLY KILLED anyone)

I would argue that Schazer's facts were perhaps a bit too informative/useful. Then again that's just me.

I am pretty sure there is no actual knife in this game and I kind of want to lynch people voting for something that doesn't exist.

Lynch: something that doesn't exist

You're taunting me and I'll have none of it.

Just you wait though.

more goddamn spiders

Schazer I am this close to tossing in a few spider facts of my own so help me I --- HEY!

VAN! IT'S YOU! YOU CAME BACK!

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We're in a tight spot Van- no, not like that..

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Look we're gonna lose all our precious Murderpups if we don't do...Hey where's the Rock's Rocks?

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Van? Van what did you do with Dwayne Johnson's penis?

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Van...that was a sizable amount of man-junk. It didn't just disappear. Where did it go?

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Van what are you holding there? Give me that!

...

...

oh wow - this...this could be...exactly what we need...

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This is some potent aphrodisiac. Just a few drops could...Van what were you planning on doing with this anyway?

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I could apply this to SAFFEAR...but Malky's in there and that's a little unpredictable.

Gonna have to bust out the big guns...this could work...or kill us all.

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1. "The Rose Ring was AN AMAZING ADVENTURE."

2. "You are a master of fairy tales!"

3. "You can even make a lamp come to life!"

4. "Your art tells so much with so few brushstrokes!"

5. "Hiding behind your hair makes you more adorable!"

6. "We love you!"

7. "Even when sleepy, you are charming!"

8. "'MalkyTop' is just flat out fun to say. Good naming choice!"

9. "We're always excited when ever you pop up!"

10. "YOU ARE SO TALENTED!!!"

Now to see what happens

APPLY THE ROCK'S EXTRACT TO: MURDER WOLF

See that giant mech over there? It has lots of dogs inside. Lots and lots of non-screwed murderdogs. High-density dog flesh. Go fetch.

FUCK: Neutermech

No.

No no no no no no no no no

This can't be real think of the children.

*gets popcorn*

sruxn, how can u evr rlly no 4 sure whos who in a world as this ntway? r u askg me 2 revbl my roll 2 u????? no nver, i rfuse.

how sad tha we liv in a world as such as this. an i not ntitlyd 2 te swett of my brow? john galt woldnt have wantd this, ur prcticlly spittn on him grve.

u can hav my roll 1nce u pri it opt of my cold, blodnd hands. com at me 2nght if uv got the flnghlgnhngh trwqzxlz scum....

blerghghgnnngh......


Bartender: fill 'er up (Tequila)
Bartender: fill 'er up (Tequila)
Bartender: fill 'er up (Water)
Bartender: fill 'er up (Water)
Bartender: fill 'er up (Water)

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Current drink-down standings:
Coldblooded: (22)
Wheat: (11)

Also Garuru is full of shit, day actually ends in 93 minutes.

Also Garuru is full of shit, day actually ends in 93 minutes.

WE NEED A REASONABLE LYNCH

Malky has been successfully exorcised