Popsicle-Fudgsicle Gang Warfare Sim

"Sticks" let's loose some more shots.
Gerardo hammers in his nail into the mook and swiftly moves to Marco.
Marco puts away his mook to prepare to grab Gerardo.
Uh-oh, it seems that James' efforts to disable to the Vertically Gifted Fudgesicle have resulted in him raging out!
The Sunglasses'd Mook shoots as well!
The other mook was knocked out.
Fat Fudge Franko is still preparing something...


Totes lets off her Boom and Bust! Direct hit!
Marco launches off Gerardo just before he is attacked by the bullets.
James continues to stab around with the Vertically Gifted Fudgesicle, dragging his pick up his back!


The upper mook dies! His partner doesn't though, he just drops his weapons in pain.
Those sunglasses must make that mook resilient or something.
Vertically Gifted Fudgesicle dropped his minigun!
Gerardo plants his hammer right in Franko's face, causing him to drop his pillar!
However... Fat Fudge Franko is still glowing...

STATUS

SpoilerShow

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Schazer - Totes Legit
Health:100
Chill:55
Ammo: 75%
Inventory:Battery Powered Hair Dryer | Hat
Bonus: RAINBOW'D (Allies Always Move First)
---

Mirdini - James "Ice Cool" McTaggart - Hitman
Health:100
Chill:77
Ammo: N/A
Inventory:Icicle Pick | Pistol
Bonus: Invisible (5 Chill to maintain.)
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Godbot - Gerardo "Gelato" Stracciatella - Bodyguard
Health:90
Chill:90
Ammo: N/A
Inventory: Hammer
Bonus: ULTRA TANK (+Def, Auto-Ally-Parry)
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DragonFogel - Marco Hustler - Used Guitar Salesman
Health:70
Chill:100
Ammo: N/A
Inventory: DA BOMB | FudgeMook_3 72%
Bonus:
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Pick Yer Poison - "Sticks" McGee - Professional Ladykiller
Health:85
Chill:83
Ammo: 100%
Inventory: Toothpick Quarterstaff | Assult Rifle
Bonus: LOADIN' (+Acc, No Ammo Loss(1 Turns) )
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Totes moves in and gives the sunglasses-clad mook a blast of battery-powered dehydrating goodness.

Mirdini, I hope you're leaving that Vertically Gifted Mook in a state where he's still usable as a weapon. I wouldn't mind having some additional melee range.

In fact, I'm going to head over and see if I can grab him now.

I'll use MAFIABILITY: QUICK-HAMMER to get around Fat Fudge Franko and hit the base of that pillar, knocking it upright and hitting him in the back while hopefully getting back in front of him in time to protect the party from whatever he's about to do.

(Too much description?)

Godbot, there is a bazooka on the floor.

I believe you are familiar with rocket jumping.

I might be able to whip up a charismatech regarding the Rule of Cool to help with that.

Wait, what bazooka? You mean the pillar?

I'll stop being invisible when Marco grabs the Vertically Gifted (and stunned???) mook, moving to icepickshank Franko in the back while Gerardo distracts him.

Wait, what bazooka? You mean the pillar?

Looking back, I don't actually think it was ever specified. I just assumed it was a bazooka, since it seemed an appropriately boss-ish weapon. Then again, a pillar could easily fit in that category as well, so I could be wrong.

Gerardo plants his hammer right in Franko's face, causing him to drop his pillar!
However... Fat Fudge Franko is still glowing...

Whoops. Alright, nevermind. I did a Ctrl+F for both "pillar" and "bazooka" on the last page, but for some reason it didn't catch that.

Rocket-jumping sounds pretty sweet, though.

Oh, also, I finish off Sunglasses McMookface and take his sunglasses.

James removes his pick and goes for Fat Fudge Franko.
Totes and "Sticks" finish off the Sunglassesclad mook, shooting him down.
Marco prepares to grab the dazed Vertically Gifted Fudgesicle.
Gerardo successfully moves behind Franko and hammers the pillar.


While they deal damage, it seems that Gerardo's and James' moves do not stop Franko's attack!
As the sunglassesclad mook dies, his glasses fly into the air...
Marco has equipped the Vertically Gifted Fudgesicle!
The mook that Marco is standing on seems to be stirring...


Fat Fudge Franko repels James, Gerardo, and his own pillar, dealing damage as well.
"Sticks" McGee has equipped sunglasses.

STATUS

SpoilerShow

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Schazer - Totes Legit - Embezzler
Health:100
Chill:55
Ammo: 72%
Inventory:Battery Powered Hair Dryer | Hat
Bonus: RAINBOW'D (Allies Always Move First)
---

Mirdini - James "Ice Cool" McTaggart - Hitman
Health:88
Chill:77
Ammo: N/A
Inventory:Icicle Pick | Pistol
Bonus:
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Godbot - Gerardo "Gelato" Stracciatella - Bodyguard
Health:84
Chill:86
Ammo: N/A
Inventory: Hammer
Bonus: ULTRA TANK (+Def, Auto-Ally-Parry)
---

DragonFogel - Marco Hustler - Used Guitar Salesman
Health:70
Chill:100
Ammo: 75%
Inventory: DA BOMB | FudgeMook_3 72% | Vertically Gifted Fudgesicle
Bonus:
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Pick Yer Poison - "Sticks" McGee - Professional Ladykiller
Health:85
Chill:83
Ammo: 100%
Inventory: Toothpick Quarterstaff | Assult Rifle | Sunglasses
Bonus:
---

DIBS ON THE MINIGUN

I'mma go grab that sucker. Does anyone want my assault rifle?

I'll use GUARDIANTECH: PILLAR OF STRENGTH* to lift the dropped pillar and bring it down on Fat Fudge Franko.

* © PickYerPoison, 2012. All rights reserved.

I'm going to hit the mook under me while he's down. I'll reposition myself if necessary.

I'll keep shanking Franko in the face I guess.

Totes goes and wails on the necromook for a bit, to make sure Marco doesn't lose his footing.

Oh man, I should totally try and attach that taser from before to my hammer.

Oh man, I should totally try and attach that taser from before to my hammer.

"Stunning blow?"

I was actually thinking more along the lines of the effects of hitting someone impaled on a giant rusty nail with an electrified hammer, but that works too, I s'pose.

Totes and Marco wail on the downed mook for a while.
"Sticks" grabs the minigun! It... it is pretty big for him.
James stabity stabs Fat Fudge Franko.
Gerardo prepares his GUARDIANTECH: PILLAR OF STRENGTH* and lifts the large pillar over his head.
* © PickYerPoison, 2012. All rights reserved.


Fat Fudge Franko smashes in James' face with his invisible fudge fists.
CRITICAL HIT
Gerardo returns the favor.
CRITICAL HIT
Meanwhile, the final Fudge Mook has been slain.

STATUS

SpoilerShow

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Schazer - Totes Legit - Embezzler
Health:100
Chill:55
Ammo: 70%
Inventory:Battery Powered Hair Dryer | Hat
Bonus: RAINBOW'D (Allies Always Move First)
---

Mirdini - James "Ice Cool" McTaggart - Hitman
Health:78
Chill:77
Ammo: N/A
Inventory:Icicle Pick | Pistol
Bonus:
---

Godbot - Gerardo "Gelato" Stracciatella - Bodyguard
Health:84
Chill:80
Ammo: N/A
Inventory: Hammer
Bonus: ULTRA TANK (+Def, Auto-Ally-Parry)
---

DragonFogel - Marco Hustler - Used Guitar Salesman
Health:70
Chill:100
Ammo: 70%
Inventory: DA BOMB | FudgeMook_3 72% | Vertically Gifted Fudgesicle
Bonus:
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Pick Yer Poison - "Sticks" McGee - Professional Ladykiller
Health:85
Chill:83
Ammo: 100%
Inventory: Toothpick Quarterstaff | Assult Rifle | Sunglasses | MiniGun
Bonus:
---

Well, I guess I'm whacking Franko with my Vertical Fudgemook.

It's that or I try to sell him a used guitar.

STEALTH IT UP

and then get up

Mirdini, do you want to get my stuff while you're at it? You could probably even shank him with the giant nail for extra damage.