Let's Play: A Terrible Experience

The title pretty much says it all, folks. In case that's not quite enough for you though, here's a little background: you remember when you were a kid, and you played a game or watched a cartoon or even read a book because you were already a huge dork even then, and then you made up a story about the characters from it plus every other thing you'd playwatchread recently? Well, this is that, but in Link to the Past romhack form, and made by an ostensible adult. It was introduced to me slash inflicted on me by the forum's foremost yaoi expert, soundlyParanoid; I'm playing it because... Well, mostly because I want senpai to notice me.

Come with me down the rabbit hole that I've been promised leads to a wonderland of frustration, eyerolling, and unrelenting horror. Nobody's going to enjoy it, but you can all at least enjoy how much I'm not!

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Spoiler

First screen in and we're already off to a good start: sprites hastily recolored from a number of other games? Check.



Tortured syntax and poor choice of line breaks? Double check!



Verb choice so unnatural it makes the obvious joke just too easy even for me to touch? That's a big ten-four.





Sounds utopian. I sure hope this fragile peace isn't shattered by mankind's hubris or lust for violence!







Rats, looks like I'm 0 for 2. Still doing better than the Hyruleans though, I guess, and definitely better than the writer. any cure for the disasters, pffft.



Stupidness! Ha!







Actually, I'm becoming increasingly convinced the writer's first language probably isn't English, which makes me retroactively kind of an asshole. At least I hope no native speaker of an age and skill level that could make a whole romhack is that clumsy with prepositions.









I'm sure that over the course of the game I'm going to be complaining profusely and angrily about out-of-character characters, but at least this bit is nonsensical in a consistent way. What is it with Hyruleans/Hylians and sealing things from things as a solution to every problem? It's like an entire nation populated by Daedalus's increasingly-unstable descendants.





Did he just pluralize who and which? Okay, I'm definitely sold on the second language theory. My money's on something Scandinavian.



Oh yeah, by the way, remember how I said this was a horrible, childlike crossover? The protagonist's name is literally Knil, as in Link backwards. This makes him unique and different character, as is helpfully-if-angrily pointed out in the game's description.

Seriously.



This is...



The title's implication of descendants makes me leery. I am simultaneously terrified and intrigued by the possibility of being subjected to a sixteen bit fanfic OC sex scene. Will it be as awful as I hope and expect? Only one way to find out!

In the next update: Hell if I know, I'm pretty much posting this shit as I do it. Tune in to find out!