Space Opera - The Drip Chronicles

Originally posted on MSPA by thriggle.

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You are covered in garbage and your life sucks, go back to your dream world

What? No way, you're friggin' Steve John the Drop! Everybody wants to be you, man!

And nobody witnessed this EMBARRASSING GARBAGE INCIDENT anyway.

...


Soldier: "Um, excuse me, sir. The, uh, the General would like to see you right away."

Steve John: "Yes, good, fine! I'll be right there!"

Soldier: "Why are you, um...?"

Steve John: "MY WAYS MAY SEEM STRANGE TO YOU BUT AS YOUR CULTURE MATURES YOU WILL COME TO APPRECIATE THE HARMONY THAT DRIVES ALL MY ACTIONS!"

Soldier: "Okay, okay, whatever."

The soldier leaves.

Phew, that was close! You nearly almost compromised the UNQUESTIONING RESPECT AND HONOR that you have earned of these aliens through your non-stop embodiment of PERFECTION IN EVERY WAY.

>Steve John the Drop: Check on Bob, hopefully your friend hasn't harmed himself in any way.

You decide that, before reporting to the General, you'd better finish checking on Bob. He never was the wettest drip in the bucket, so to speak.

You move to unlock the door.

What the...?

Great. The keyhole is jammed.