Re: Grand Battle S3G1! (Round One: Vio Maleficat)
01-02-2011, 09:05 AM
Originally posted on MSPA by Schazer.
Benjamin sat on his haunches as he studied the Unity barrier from a pertinent distance, doing his best to ignore the spirited power anthem a steel chimney exposed to the Chaos was belting out. His tail, a long flat slab of uncoordination dragging along after him, was taking some getting used to. He hadn't had one for at least three lives now, and that one had been a prehensile substitute considering the lack of-
That... wasn't pleasant. The scaled hand at the end of his tail, respelendent with not one but two opposable thumbs, flexed experimentally in front of Benjamin's eyes. He was pretty sure that less than two minutes ago his spine wouldnt've worked that way, but so far everything about Jetsam had been prickling with that kind of none-too-concerned plasticity some worlds had. Not his favourite, but certainly memorable and only unpleasant if you were going to get worked up it. If Benjamin was going to be a ten-foot long pangolin with metal-dipped scales and a hand on the end of his now-scoprion-esque tail arrangement, but only certainly for the immediate future at best - well, he'd dealt with worse.
His spine still felt like it was working out the anatomical specifics, but losing interest in the problem and settling for something more fluid and less certain. Benjamin didn't quibble, mostly because he was still too despondent to make a real effort of it.
The barrier was wavering and flickering, punctuated with the occasional snapping noise and a flurry of Unity grumbling off morosely into the air like sparks from a burning, freshly kicked log. Somewhere along the line, the sun joined the chimney's stadium rock number in a drunkenly hearty baritone. Benjamin rose to all fours, uncoiled his freshly prehensile tail from round himself, and trundled across the staff carpark. A matte red convertible greeted the pangolin with a cheerful revving of the engine, before its roars of distress were curtailed by a musical twang as its handbrake turned to custard (possibly literally.)
It hurtled across the deserted carpark, crushing a tree who threatened to call the cops, barely avoiding Benjamin, and skidding round in a destructively graceful arc before it halted a safe distance away. Benjamin stomped over as the convertible honked a very unlovely hello at him, not giving it the need to accelerate again.
"Hi! Hi! Hi!" The voice was only coming from the car's general vicinity; Chaos had refrained from letting its bonnet slap open and shut in time with its words. Considering Jetsam was contemplating committing homicide and languishing in prison for this lifetime (he'd done it before when his mood was low; it almost universally meant food, shelter, and privacy in exchange for the usual awkward questions all mashed together and the occasional beating), it was probably for the best. Benjamin swept aimlessly with his tail-hand and lowered his head a little, the closest he could get to a polite bow in his current state.
"Hello. Would you tell me what this plant produces?"
"Unity. Duh!"
Capital letter. Right there. Tucked right in next to that instinctual pang of revulsion.
"I've never tried to enter a barrier like that one. What happens if we enter it?"
The convertible could be heard locking and unlocking its doors, while one of its wheels ground on the spot in some kind of vehicular equivalent of coyly playing footsie. Benjamin's Chaos-pangolin senses were telling him from a biological standpoint, he could ignore this, so he did. "Uuuuh... no good for me, because I'm not pure chaos. I'm just waiting for Mr Jorgensaard to finish work. He must be going into overtime, because that song the sun's singing now? Already heard it. Three times." The car flashed its headlights, somehow indicating it wanted Benjamin to listen in. It purred in a conspiratory manner: "He's not a very good singer. But anyway! I can't go in, but you seem chaotic through and through so you should be aaaaaall good. Oh! Oh! Oh! Uuuuh..."
Benjamin had already forsaken the irritatingly chipper vehicle, but turned to see what it wanted. Perhaps even humour it if the request wasn't ridiculous.
"Say hi to Mr Jorgensaard for me!"
Benjamin said nothing for a moment, then nodded. "I'll see what I can do."
Benjamin sat on his haunches as he studied the Unity barrier from a pertinent distance, doing his best to ignore the spirited power anthem a steel chimney exposed to the Chaos was belting out. His tail, a long flat slab of uncoordination dragging along after him, was taking some getting used to. He hadn't had one for at least three lives now, and that one had been a prehensile substitute considering the lack of-
That... wasn't pleasant. The scaled hand at the end of his tail, respelendent with not one but two opposable thumbs, flexed experimentally in front of Benjamin's eyes. He was pretty sure that less than two minutes ago his spine wouldnt've worked that way, but so far everything about Jetsam had been prickling with that kind of none-too-concerned plasticity some worlds had. Not his favourite, but certainly memorable and only unpleasant if you were going to get worked up it. If Benjamin was going to be a ten-foot long pangolin with metal-dipped scales and a hand on the end of his now-scoprion-esque tail arrangement, but only certainly for the immediate future at best - well, he'd dealt with worse.
His spine still felt like it was working out the anatomical specifics, but losing interest in the problem and settling for something more fluid and less certain. Benjamin didn't quibble, mostly because he was still too despondent to make a real effort of it.
The barrier was wavering and flickering, punctuated with the occasional snapping noise and a flurry of Unity grumbling off morosely into the air like sparks from a burning, freshly kicked log. Somewhere along the line, the sun joined the chimney's stadium rock number in a drunkenly hearty baritone. Benjamin rose to all fours, uncoiled his freshly prehensile tail from round himself, and trundled across the staff carpark. A matte red convertible greeted the pangolin with a cheerful revving of the engine, before its roars of distress were curtailed by a musical twang as its handbrake turned to custard (possibly literally.)
It hurtled across the deserted carpark, crushing a tree who threatened to call the cops, barely avoiding Benjamin, and skidding round in a destructively graceful arc before it halted a safe distance away. Benjamin stomped over as the convertible honked a very unlovely hello at him, not giving it the need to accelerate again.
"Hi! Hi! Hi!" The voice was only coming from the car's general vicinity; Chaos had refrained from letting its bonnet slap open and shut in time with its words. Considering Jetsam was contemplating committing homicide and languishing in prison for this lifetime (he'd done it before when his mood was low; it almost universally meant food, shelter, and privacy in exchange for the usual awkward questions all mashed together and the occasional beating), it was probably for the best. Benjamin swept aimlessly with his tail-hand and lowered his head a little, the closest he could get to a polite bow in his current state.
"Hello. Would you tell me what this plant produces?"
"Unity. Duh!"
Capital letter. Right there. Tucked right in next to that instinctual pang of revulsion.
"I've never tried to enter a barrier like that one. What happens if we enter it?"
The convertible could be heard locking and unlocking its doors, while one of its wheels ground on the spot in some kind of vehicular equivalent of coyly playing footsie. Benjamin's Chaos-pangolin senses were telling him from a biological standpoint, he could ignore this, so he did. "Uuuuh... no good for me, because I'm not pure chaos. I'm just waiting for Mr Jorgensaard to finish work. He must be going into overtime, because that song the sun's singing now? Already heard it. Three times." The car flashed its headlights, somehow indicating it wanted Benjamin to listen in. It purred in a conspiratory manner: "He's not a very good singer. But anyway! I can't go in, but you seem chaotic through and through so you should be aaaaaall good. Oh! Oh! Oh! Uuuuh..."
Benjamin had already forsaken the irritatingly chipper vehicle, but turned to see what it wanted. Perhaps even humour it if the request wasn't ridiculous.
"Say hi to Mr Jorgensaard for me!"
Benjamin said nothing for a moment, then nodded. "I'll see what I can do."
peace to the unsung peace to the martyrs | i'm johnny rotten appleseed
clouds is shaky love | broke as hell but i got a bunch of ringtones
eyes blood red bruise aubergine | Sue took something now Sue doesn't sleep | saint average, day in the life of
woke up in the noon smelling doom and death | out the house, great outdoors
staying warm in arctic blizzard | that's my battle 'til I get inanimate | still up in the same clothes living like a gameshow
clouds is shaky love | broke as hell but i got a bunch of ringtones
eyes blood red bruise aubergine | Sue took something now Sue doesn't sleep | saint average, day in the life of
woke up in the noon smelling doom and death | out the house, great outdoors
staying warm in arctic blizzard | that's my battle 'til I get inanimate | still up in the same clothes living like a gameshow